How can we deal with friends who hurt us?
Transcribed by: Geetanjali Nath
Edited by: Nikhil Fernandes
Question: How can we deal with friends who hurt us?
There are two separate things we must deal with in such situations – our hurt and our friends. It would be best if we could both avoid the hurt and keep our friends. However, if we find that the friends are not changing then we may have to choose between enduring the hurt or giving up the friends. While not an easy choice to make, we don’t need to think from the start that we have to give up something. We should focus on trying to deal with the situation intelligently, one step at a time and eventually things will become clearer.
All friends are not one unit. We can choose from them those friends who are unlikely to repeat the hurt. We may be forced to take a strong stand with others or to become strong internally. Sometimes some people keep saying the same thing again and again and over a period of time, we become immune to them by realising that what they are saying does not matter much. What they say and think does not affect who we are or hamper us from growing in life. If on the other hand, we cannot tolerate this hurt then we may have to give up these friends. Sometimes by staying away from them for some time, they will realise that we have taken their actions very seriously and that may be an impetus for them to change themselves. We can take the strong step of distancing ourselves from them until they change. By doing so, we may be able to keep the friends as well as protect ourselves from the hurt.
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