Self-destruction strategies 4 – Let guilt come between you and Krishna

Seminar at ISKCON. Seshadripuram, Bangalore

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Strategies of self-destruction. So, we will discuss three till now. Does anyone remember which of the three we discussed till now? Yeah, first is mistake self-pity to be humility, then second? Yeah, go try to be perfectionist and the third was? Yeah, mistake in the peripheral to be essential.
So, basically all these are ways in which while we are practising spiritual life, our energies are sidetracked. Externally, it appears as if you are practising spiritual life. When I am cultivating you, when I mistake self-pity to be humility, it is not that I am externally doing anything wrong.
I think I am doing the right thing, but my energies are being compromised. My energies are being dissipated. Similarly, I am studying script if you consider third thing, if I am second and I am doing some service, if I try to be a perfectionist, I feel actually I am doing service, I am doing something good, but I am going too much in one activity, I end up neglecting other activities or become discouraged if I do not do it very well and thus we compromise our contribution that we can make overall.
So, the third also the same point that we are studying scripture only, but if we get caught up in peripheral things within scripture, then we think I am studying scripture, I am defending scripture, I am presenting scripture, but in that process, we may be actually not doing justice to the message of the scripture, whether it is in terms of application in our own life or it is in terms of sharing with others. So, now let us move ahead. So, we have to go to the fourth one.
No, go ahead. Go straight ahead. I am not going to discuss this anymore.
Go away here. Let us go to strategy four. Three, four slides you will have to go ahead.
Yeah. So, let guilt come between you and Krishna. So, this means that when, so earlier thing what I discussed is we did something, we are doing something which is not entirely wrong, but we are doing it in the wrong way.
I am trying to cultivate humility, but I am mistaking self-pity to be humility, but here because of the force of our conditionings, because of the temptations of the circumstances, because of various factors, we may sometimes do some things wrong. And at those times when we do something wrong, the feeling of guilt, it can be positive, but it can also work negative. So, how it can work in a negative way to understand that, let us move forward first.
Go ahead. So, there is, we have to understand conscience and then guilt. Conscience is the inner voice.
So, an example is given. Conscience is an inner dog. It is a watchdog.
So, it is an inner dog that barks when the thief of sin comes to steal our integrity. It is like if people have a watchdog in their house and if a thief comes to steal from their house, then the dog starts barking, barking, barking and that barking alerts them and then they can call the police or take out some defensive weapons, basically drive away the thief. So, the dog, the watchdog is involved because that watchdog barks.
So, conscience is the dog and the feeling of guilt is the bark of that dog. So, it is only when we have conscience that we feel when we do something wrong, we feel bad about it. So, actually this is meant to be the bark of that dog which is guilt.
It is meant to be an inner defence mechanism against wrongdoing. It is like in our body, like at a physical level, now there are white blood corpuscles which are supposed to be the defenders of the body. So, when some germs, when some infection enters into the body, at that time these white blood corpuscles get activated and they remove, they counter the infecting or damaging forces that are there.
So, that’s a defence mechanism at a physical level. So, similarly there is a defence mechanism at an inner or a mental level and that defence mechanism has conscience as the dog and guilt as the bark of that dog. So, now if the conscience is numbed, suppose some thieves are going to come to, they want to steal in a particular house and they know there is a dog.
So, before that they come and say put some drugs in the pool of that dog. When the dog eats that drug food, then the dog goes to sleep. The dog is numbed, the dog is not aware of anything and that dog will no longer bark when the thieves come.
Similarly, our conscience can also become numbed. But how does it get numbed? It is, say for example, if there is a family of butchers, you know, say there are people who have, in generation after generation, they have been killing animals, that’s their profession. Now even such a family, actually a small child is there and the child sees an animal being killed, then the child actually trembles, especially if the child sees a living animal which is moving and suddenly like you say blood comes out, the child trembles, the child is fearful.
But over a period of time, if that’s what the child is trained in, then first time when the child kills an animal, as the child is growing up into a young boy and then a man, at that time when the young boy kills it, maybe first time the hand trembles, second time the hand trembles a little, after 10-15 times, the child may cut a hen or a bird or whatever, an animal, as nonchalantly as we might cut sabji. What has happened is that the conscience has become numbed over there. And how did this numbing happen? By repeated doing of an action.
So, repeated wrongdoing numbs us to the wrong in the doing. So, repeated wrongdoing, what it does is, it numbs our awareness of the wrong in what we are doing. I’ve done it once, I’ve done it twice, I’ve done it thrice, I’ve done it 10 times, 50 times, then afterwards it just becomes normal.
And then at that time when the conscience becomes numbed, then people don’t feel any guilt. That’s like the dog has fallen unconscious, dog has been drugged, the dog has become unconscious now and the dog no longer barks. So, actually, when a person does not feel any guilt, that is a very dangerous condition.
Because, to give another example, now there are many diseases, but say there is a disease which is HIV. Now, the danger of that disease is that the defence mechanism of the body itself is damaged. And then HIV itself doesn’t kill, but may not kill all the time, but that just deadens the body’s defence mechanism, then a small disease will come and that can kill the person.
So, when the person’s conscience, when a person’s conscience is numbed, at that time they don’t have any sense of guilt. And when they don’t have any sense of guilt, at that time, they can do terrible wrong things and not feel anything wrong about it. And that actually is a dangerous situation because they may do deadly things at that time.
So, in that sense, the conscience and guilt, both of them are important for us. Conscience and guilt, they are a part of our inner defence mechanism. In that sense, guilt is also healthy.
In the natural state, guilt is healthy. Now, Srila Prabhupada was asked about his conscience and Prabhupada talks about it in both ways. In the Bhagavata Purport, he talks about how conscience, the Supreme Lord speaks as the conscience and tells the soul, come towards me, return towards me.
At another point in a conversation, Prabhupada also says that the conscience is not necessarily spiritual. Now, what people consider as conscience may also be culturally conditioned. That means, if people grow up in a particular situation and in that particular situation, certain things they are taught as right and they are taught as wrong.
So, based on their conception of what is right or wrong, they may feel that when they are doing something, they are actually doing wrong. But that may not be wrong at all. So, for example, say, if people live in a culture where, or just to take a provocative example now.
Now, for example, say, there is, there are these jihadis. Just today, yesterday, there was a bomb blast in Turkey, where it is said that the suicide bomber was just a boy around 12-13 years old. Now, he just went and went into a wedding, he blew himself up and almost 50-70 people were killed.
So, now, this is just a small 12-year-old boy. Now, generally, children, we think of them as innocent. At the most, we think of them as enemies, not enemies, mischiefs.
But for a child to become so completely, as we can say, indoctrinated or brainwashed, that they feel, a child feels no compunction, no sense of hesitation, no guilt in not, in killing oneself and killing others. Now, for such a child, the education may become so distorted, the indoctrination is so great, that if the child hesitates to kill someone, the child will feel, I am a coward, I am coward. So, what this means is, our conscience, there is an innate sense of right and wrong.
Everywhere people in the world, they have this conception that there are right things and there are wrong things. This differentiation of right and wrong is universal. But the categorisation of what will be considered right and what will be considered wrong, that can be culturally determined.
So, the differentiation of right and wrong, everyone has that, wherever it is in the world. But the categorisation, what will be right, what will be wrong, that can be culturally determined. And when it is culturally determined, then it can be right, it can be wrong also.
So, specific cultures may create certain conceptions, where people may do terrible things and they may think that if I don’t do those terrible things, I am being disloyal or I am being a bad person. So, in that sense, it is not that whatever we internally feel is right or is wrong. No, that is necessarily the right feeling.
We cannot just blindly or uncritically accept the inner voice as the voice of conscience. So, the test, as I said, what is the problem, why will the inner voice not always be the conscience? Because the differentiation, the principle of differentiation between right and wrong is universal. But the categorisation of what is right and what is wrong, that is culturally specific and that categorisation may not always be correct.
So, therefore, we need scriptural education. So, the conscience, the inner voice, so when God speaks, he speaks from within and he speaks also through the doubt. There is Guru Sarvam Shivastava.
So, there is the example, one time, in the early days of the movement, one devotee came to Prabhupada and she was a girl. She said, Swamiji, you came in my dream yesterday and you told me to take marijuana. So, Prabhupada said, that was not me, that was maya in my dress.
That was maya in my dress. What does that mean? That means, it is not that anything that we get, we feel from within or we see in the dream, that it doesn’t mean right, even if it appears to be. We have to have a parameter, that is Guru Sarvam Shivastava.
So, the inner voice has to be reinforced or confirmed by the outer voice. It is the same God who is speaking from within and it is the same God who is speaking from without. So, yo antar bahishtanubhutam asubham vidhuniman, acharya chaitya vipushak sadatim jnanati, that Supreme Lord guides us from within and without, as the inner voice is the outer voice.
Internally, he is Chaitya Guru, that is the Paramatma. Externally, he is the spiritual master or our other spiritual guides. So, this way, this conscience which comes from within, that is not automatically always right.
Conscience has to be confirmed or seen in the light of scripture. Having said that, now, one way, as I said, the bark of the dog is guilt. Now, suppose, I give one example is, that the dog is drugged.
Why would the dog just go to sleep? And then the thief comes, nobody does anything. But consider another situation, where the dog is drugged, this may not happen in real life, but the dog is drugged in such a way, that the dog does not recognise its master. And when the master comes, the dog starts barking at the master only.
So, when at that situation, the dog, instead of defending, is actually obstructing. The dog, instead of helping, will be harming. So, similarly, guilt, which is the bark of that inner dog conscience, guilt can also be misappropriated by Maya.
Maya is just so cunning that she can actually misappropriate even the good for its own purposes. So, guilt should come between us and wrong doing, not between us and Krishna. What does that mean? Say, if I am here, this is a wrong doing and Krishna is here.
So, guilt should come here, where if I start going in this direction, the dog should start barking. No, this is not guilt. But sometimes, what happens is, guilt comes here, between us and Krishna.
How can guilt come here? It is not that we feel bad about going to Krishna, but rather we feel, I am too bad to go to Krishna. I am so sinful, how can I go to Krishna? I am so sinful, what is the hope for me? How can I practise bhakti? Just let me do this. So, this is not guilt, this is pseudo-guilt.
This is actually Maya masquerading as guilt. And what is the effect of this? See, guilt discourages us when we go towards wrong doing, whereas pseudo-guilt discourages us when we are trying to go towards Krishna. Pseudo-guilt makes us feel, you are so fallen, you are good for nothing, you are never going to improve.
Therefore, what should you do? Just don’t do that. Just give it up. Give up the practise of bhakti.
So, when this happens, we have to understand that this is actually Maya speaking, it is not Krishna speaking. So, in general, normally we think of temptation as that which gives us pleasure that is separate from Krishna. There can be wealth, there can be sense gratification, there can be power, there can be prestige.
The things that take us away from Krishna and promise us pleasure, we think of them as temptations. That is one understanding of temptation. But actually, temptation means anything that keeps us away from Krishna or that prevents us from going closer towards Krishna.
So, when we have this feeling of guilt, which discourages us in going towards Krishna, then that is also a temptation. So, that is also a temptation. And that, just as we fight against the temptations which take us away from Krishna, similarly, we need to fight against this temptation which keeps us away from Krishna.
So, what does this mean? In the 11th canto, there is the Uddhav Gita. The Uddhav Gita is actually an elaborate instruction that Krishna gives just before he departs from the world. And there he describes, this is from 11, 20, 27 and 28.
So, this is two very beautiful verses where Krishna describes how when a devotee is trying to practise bhakti and is unable to live up to some standards, falls down, at that time, how should a devotee respond? He is describing the state. What has happened? The devotee has awakened faith in hearing about me. Yes, this bhakti philosophy makes sense.
This is important. This is what is speaking is truth. It is what I should be living according to.
So, at that time, one understands that actually karma, karma doesn’t refer to action, it refers to materialistic action. So, materialistic action will cause bondage and will not lead to happiness. At that time, the person has become detached from materialistic action.
Veda Dukhaatmakam Kaamam. And that person doesn’t understand that Kaamam. So, Kaama.
Kaama is sometimes translated as lust, but actually Kaama basically means selfish desire. It’s inclusively, there can be various kinds of desire that can be. So, Veda Dukhaatmakam Kaamam.
Person understands that Dukhaatmakam, Kaama is filled with misery. Aatma means that which is the essence. So, Dukhaatmakam means that selfish desire, Kaama is filled with misery.
Veda. So, person understand this. Veda Dukhaatmakam Kaamam.
Parityagepi Anishvaraha. But in spite of knowing this Parityagepi is Anishvara. Anishvara means controller.
Anishvara means one who is not the controller. So, the person is not able to control oneself and is not able to give it up. So, one understands that this leads to misery, that this leads to happiness.
But still, one is not able to give it up. This is often the situation of our sadhakas. We often know what is right, but we are just not able to do it.
We know this is not going to lead to happiness, but still we feel as if we are pulled towards doing it. As if some higher forces pushing us. As Krishna also, Arjuna also says in 3.36 in the Bhagavad Gita, I feel as if I have some force I am pulled.
So, here Krishna describes our predicament. And then what does he say after that? How to deal with this predicament? Tato Bhajet Mam Preetah Shraddhalur Dhrudhamishchaya Tato Bhajet, even then Bhajet, keep worshipping, keep practising bhakti. Mam Preetah.
And don’t be discouraged, don’t be resentful. Mam Preetah, be affectionate towards me. Have a favourable disposition.
Tato Bhajet Mam Preetah Shraddhalur Dhrudhamishchaya. Shraddhalur with faith, Dhrudhamishchaya, with determination. Now, if actually I am again and again falling to wrong way, then how can I be determined? What does it mean? Basically, if I am falling, that means I am not determined.
So, what Krishna is saying, be determined. Tato Bhajet Mam Preetah Shraddhalur Dhrudhamishchaya. How can I be determined if I am again and again falling? So, this guy, Jushyamanas, Chetan, Kaman, that person again and again Jushyamanas, gets engaged in Kaman, in selfish gratification, that person gets engaged.
Dukkhodarkam chigarhaye, dukkhodarkam. He is aware that this will lead to misery and garhaye. Garhaye means one repents for it.
So, basically, Krishna is saying, okay, even if we fall, even if we slip and we fall, we know that this is not going to lead me to happiness, but still I indulge in it, but garhaye. At least after that happens, repent for it and try to reform. So, here is one important point to understand that when Krishna says that even if we fall, even if we slip, even if we do wrongdoing, still we should stay determined.
What does it mean? How are the two possible? The point is that actually, if we look at our consciousness, the wrong desires that come, it is not that those wrong desires are constantly attacking aggressively. Yes, there is some agitation that may be there in the background. But if we compare our consciousness to a graph of desires, now in that graph of desires, sometimes there are spikes, sometimes it suddenly shoots up and the desire becomes so strong, at that time, I have to do it, I just can’t live without it, I must do it.
So, those spikes, when they come, at that time, we may be helpless. We may just be overpowered and we may do something which we know I should not be doing, which we don’t want to do, but somehow we end up doing it. So, now, where is the determination part? The determination part is, sometimes in the initial stages, the spikes may be so strong, so sudden, that we may just not be able to resist it.
But those spikes don’t stay all the time. So, what do we do in the remaining time? One spike came and it made me do something wrong. But what happens when there is pseudo guilt, then after that I am thinking, why did I do that? I am so foolish, I am so sinful, I am so foolish, why did I do that? Why did I do that? Why did I do that? We just keep beating ourselves, we keep feeling bad and by that feeling bad, we are not actually getting purified.
We get purified, not just by feeling bad, we get purified by connecting with Krishna. By connecting with Krishna. So, the spike came, it made me do something wrong, but afterwards, when the consciousness comes down to the normal level, what am I doing at that time? If at that time I am determined and I keep practising Bhakti, then during that time that I am practising Bhakti, I am getting purified.
And I am getting purified. Next time when the spike comes, I will be better equipped to deal with the spike. And sometimes the spikes may keep knocking us down for quite some time.
We can’t expect some old habits to just go away overnight. Some unorthodox might be there, they may not just go away overnight. So, what we need to do is, we are not, our spiritual growth, our spiritual status is not just determined by what happens when the spikes come.
It is largely determined by what we do in between the spikes. So, in between the spikes, if we are practising Bhakti diligently, then gradually we are strengthening ourselves. And if we are strengthening ourselves by that, eventually we will come to a level when the spikes come, we will be able to resist them.
So, if on the other hand, when the spikes come and I do something wrong, and then I start, why did I do that? Why did I do that? Oh, I am so poor, I am so sinful, maybe this process of Bhakti will not work for me. And I give up. Then what happens? Then there is no chance for me to become beautiful because I am not connecting with Krishna.
And then actually those spikes may also become more frequent afterwards. And here, the first point I said is that when the spikes come, okay, what happens at that time, that may not be in our control. But what happens in between, that is what is more important.
And by that things will change. Now, focussing on the spikes themselves. Now, what causes those spikes? So, when we are talking about here, here about guilt.
So, what does guilt do? See, guilt, what it should do is that when the spike comes, guilt should come between me and that indulgence. But when instead of guilt, I have pseudo guilt, then what happens? During the spike, I did the wrongdoing. I hope the word spike is clear to everyone.
Last time I used, in one class I used this word, everybody was wondering what is spike. Like you have electricity spike, sometimes you have spike guard also, sometimes we have computers, electricity spike suddenly goes up and that can damage the machine. So, we have a spike guard.
So, spike means a sudden surge in something. So, like that. So, here, what happens in between the spikes, that is important, that will purify us.
But if there is pseudo guilt, then what happens? In between the spikes, at that time, we can practise bhakti. At that time, we are not so agitated, we are not so tormented, we are not feeling so dragged here and there. At that time, we can practise bhakti.
But unfortunately, at that time, the pseudo guilt comes in between. So, you are so fallen, you are so sinful, what can you do? You should not practise bhakti. And in that way, the pseudo guilt comes between us and Krishna.
So, the force of our conditionings may force us to do wrong during the spike. But that conditioning present forces us to stop practising bhakti. What stops us in practising bhakti is the pseudo guilt.
So, what happens because of the pseudo guilt we feel, I cannot do this, I cannot do this. So, that is why the pseudo guilt has to be dealt with carefully. Now, how do we deal with it? That means, no matter what happens, okay, even if I fall, no matter what has gone wrong, still I will keep practising bhakti.
I will not give up the practise of bhakti no matter what happens. Now, when I say not give up the practise means what? Yes, there may be some times when I am just dragged away. But after that, what do I do? After that, I come back again.
That is why it is said that we may fall down, but we do not have to fall away. So, we may fall down. Fall down means we are marching along the path and sometimes we slip and fall.
So, that is like when the spikes come, they drag us down. But we do not have to fall away. Fall away means we become disheartened and we give up the practise of bhakti.
That is not required. So, fall down is caused by our conditioning, by the anartha, by the spike of desire. But falling away can be caused by pseudo guilt.
Pseudo guilt makes us feel why practise this and that. That is why we have to be very careful that when things, there are times when things are not in my control. At that time, okay, what can I do? I will just condition that.
But what about all the remaining time? If in the remaining time, I am trying to practise bhakti, trying to keep myself constructively engaged, trying to purify myself, then at that time, I am actually moving closer towards Krishna. And eventually, I will be able to deal with the spikes also. So, now, what about the spikes themselves? With respect to spikes, often they come from two primary sources.
One is external and the other is internal. The external means that all of us, we may find over a period of time that we have certain vulnerabilities, maybe certain sights, certain sounds, certain perceptions, they agitate us. So, they are the stimuli that trigger desire within us.
And if we come to know that I have certain weaknesses, then at that time, if we are exposed to them, the spike will get more aggravated. So, if we can minimise our exposure to them. Now, we cannot walk around in this world with closed eyes.
We cannot just shut out the tempting objects from our perception. But what we can do is we can all minimise the person, minimise the exposure to those tempting objects. They can be anything.
If a person, say, has got diabetes, but still they are very attracted to sugar, they are attracted to sweets. At that time, what do they do? You cannot say that because I have diabetes, so no shop should sell any sugar anywhere. I cannot say that because the problem is not the problem of the shopkeeper.
The problem is mine. So, here also we have to be very careful that when we are tempted by something or someone, we cannot blame them. We cannot blame that object or that person.
So, Krishna, when he talks about lust, he says, where is lust situated? He says, it is situated in our senses, our mind, our intelligence. Indriyāṇi mano buddhir aśyādiṣṭhānucchati etayil moho yateśa jānam āvarti dehinaṁ In 3.40, he says that actually it is in the senses, the mind and the intelligence that selfish desire is situated. So, now that desire may be triggered when we see something or someone.
But it is not that that is the cause. The cause is the conditioning, the weakness within you. So, firstly, we do not blame, but we understand that there is a problem here and I have to deal with it.
So, for example, sometimes some people say that in the Vedic culture, actually women are always portrayed very negatively. Women are portrayed as a temptation. But that is not the case.
In the fourth canto, it is said that for a man, a woman is a temptation. For a woman, a man is a temptation. So, temptation itself is gender neutral.
There is temptation for everyone in this world. Temptation is itself gender neutral. So, it is not that, say, a man and a woman are married together.
It is not that the husband is a temptation for the wife and the wife is a temptation for the husband. Actually, the husband and wife are both partners in fighting against temptation. So, we cannot have an adversarial attitude based on I blame the other person or the other person blames me.
We are partners and we have to find out how best we can fight this war. So, the point I am making in our discussion is that when the spikes come, the spikes may come because of certain external stimuli. So, then how do we deal with those stimuli? First of all, we cannot blame those stimuli per se.
It is not that, say, as I said, a diabetic patient cannot blame all the shops that are selling sweets. That is not right. That diabetic patient has to decide how I am going to deal with it.
So, sometimes if we can minimise our exposure especially to those stimuli or those situations, those circumstances that agitate us, then that helps us in minimising the effect of the spikes. So, for example, now, nowadays with, say, internet accessible to everyone and people can just click a few buttons and then all the dirty imagination of people in various parts of the world that becomes available to them. So, now in such a situation, what happens is temptation is very easily available.
Just one button, click button. So, at that time, if one finds that I have this weakness, so what do I do? Actually, if I find that, then it is better that between us and the sense object, not a sense object, the object of temptation, whichever it is, whatever it is, we create some obstacle. We create some obstacle between us and that object.
So, for example, if a person, say, is obese and they do not want to overeat. So, they have the temptation. One thing that they are told is, do not keep food close to you.
Because what happens is when the spike comes, the spike does not last for long. When the spike comes, it is irresistible. But the spike does not last for long.
So, if we just tolerate during that spike, afterwards it goes away. Afterwards it goes away. So, if when the desire comes, if I suddenly, I start feeling actually, there is biological hunger and there is psychological hunger.
The biological hunger is when actually the body needs food. Psychological hunger is, you know, when I want to enjoy something and that is why I feel, it is not the body needs the food, but I am craving for some food. So, now what happens when the spike comes of psychological hunger, if there is some food readily available for me, then I will just eat it.
And then afterwards I may, why did I eat so much? Why did I eat this? I may regret that. But if at that time we do not keep food available, or if we keep food available, we keep some healthy food available. Then we keep some fruits, some vegetables, not some fast food which is going to be fatty or is going to be affecting our health in a negative way.
Then what happens, even the spike comes, it will not damage us so much. So, one way to deal with the spike is to not have ready access to temptation. Because that spike does not last for long and during that time it is almost impossible.
But if you can avoid ready access to temptation, during that time it is quite possible that we can just endure the spike and the spike will go away. So, another thing is that sometimes, as I said, one is external sources. So, we can find out what are the external sources that trigger the spike within us.
And then we try to create some obstacles so that the spikes do not come. Or rather, if the spikes come, we do not have the facility to immediately act on them. And during the interim period, our intelligence comes, no, no, why am I doing this? I do not need to do this.
That way we can avoid it. Another is sometimes the spikes come just from inner provocation. That means, we do not perceive anything provocative externally.
But suddenly somehow from the past, from the past memories that we may have, suddenly something gets stimulated. And then we get agitated. So, at that time, when suddenly some desire suddenly comes to the knee, no, I try to think, did I see something? Did I do something? Did I watch something? No, I am not thinking.
Suddenly why does this desire come with it? So, when that happens, actually, even when something comes, see often what happens is that we think of external and internal from the perspective of the body. That means, say this mic is external to me. And there is some thought inside me.
I think that is internal to me. But I am not the body. I am the soul.
And from the soul’s perspective, even the mind is external. So, even the thoughts that are in the mind are also actually external to me. They are not necessarily my thoughts.
They are not necessarily my thoughts. So, to give another example for this, suppose a person has a house and outside the house they have a lawn. Now, in the lawn, outside the lawn, they have a gate, they have a security, they have a big wall and they have security over there.
So, now, from the people living in the house, they can say this inside the house means actually inside the structure of the house. And the lawn is also outside the house. But from the broad perspective of the house structure itself, the house premises, the lawn is also inside the house.
Isn’t it? Suppose, now, the main security is at the wall and somehow some thief bypasses that security and comes in. The thief has not yet come in the house. But still the thief is inside the house in the sense of the bigger definition of the house.
He is not inside the physical structure of the house, but thief is inside the premises. So, that time also there is a danger. In fact, if somebody is outside the house and then we say, who is this person coming inside? We may have some security camera, we may have some mirror and say who is coming inside.
But if somebody has already slipped inside, we may not even notice that somebody is there inside. So, what happens is like that. So, the big premises, the wall, that is like the body.
And from the wall to the house, that is the arena of the mind. And the house itself is the sole property. So, the house itself is the sole property.
So, like that, normally we think of temptations, they come. How do they come? It is like somebody, a thief coming from outside and they are trying to break the door and come inside or whatever. But suppose there is some thief, sometimes inside the garden itself, there might be some underground tunnel.
And there may be some trap door and the thief just comes through that tunnel. And then the whole security system is there at the gate, at the main gate, but the thief has already bypassed it, because they have come from under the ground. So, like that, in our consciousness also, there are conditionings which are impressions.
So, those impressions may sometimes pop up on their own itself. When they pop up on their own, again, if the thief has come inside, if I am inside the house and say, who is this stranger? We understand, although this person is inside the premises, this person does not look familiar. This person is not my relative, is not my family member, is not my acquaintance.
How will this person come here? We will be concerned. So, like that, sometimes when we are practising Bhakti and then suddenly, some very negative desire comes up, some very bad desire comes up, we say, why am I thinking like this? Where is this desire coming from? We feel bad, we feel I am so fallen, why am I thinking such things? But actually, those are not our desires. Even when they are coming inside us, they are just like in the past we may have done some things and those conditionings are awakened.
So, everything inside me is not me. Everything inside me is not me. So, all the desires that come inside us, they don’t define us.
They are not necessarily my desires. That’s why even when some desires come without any cause, apparently, still we shouldn’t necessarily think that, oh, I am such a bad person, I think of such things. Yeah, the desires can come from anywhere.
Prabhupada says that actually, having bad desires is not the problem. Acting on the bad desires is the problem. So, we cannot really avoid having those desires because they may come from external stimuli, they may come from internal stimuli.
Prabhupada gives a very brilliant definition of intelligence. Normally, we think of intelligence in various ways, maybe capacity to remember, capacity to analyse. But Prabhupada says, intelligence means, he says, that in our subtle body, there are three stages.
There is thinking, there is feeling and there is willing. And after willing, there is action. There is, we can say, cognition, emotion, intention and action.
Cognition means we become aware what is happening. That thought comes in. Then, at a further level is emotion.
At that time, we start feeling something in relationship with that. There is cognition, there is emotion. At this time, it becomes stronger.
Then, there is intention. Intention means, I am going to do, I want to do this. And then, there is action.
So, Prabhupada says, intelligence means to kill the thought before it becomes an action. Intelligence means to kill the thought before it becomes action. So, it’s not that we can avoid the thought entirely.
When the thought comes, it’s not that we have to act on that thought. Because the thought has come, but I don’t identify with it. It is not me.
The thought may be there, it may be inside me, it may have come without this stimuli also, but it is not me. And if I don’t identify with it, I have certain values and I stick to those values. Sometimes, again, quite often, we have to out trick the mind.
Because the mind, what it does, it tries to trick us. So, sometimes, some devotees may say that, actually, you know, I have been practising bhakti for 15 years, 20 years, 25 years, and still all those same old desires keep coming. You know, where is the purification? Is anything happening? I am still the same old person.
What is the use of practising bhakti? But actually, there is a big change that has happened. And that change is, we are asking this question. Isn’t it? See, in the past, what happens is, most of us, we would actually go out in search for temptation.
Isn’t it? We would go out and search for where is pleasure, where is sense gratification, where is enjoyment. But now, we are not going out searching for it. When it is coming, we are asking, why is it coming? Isn’t it? So, spiritual growth is seen more in change of values than change of desires.
Spiritual growth is seen more in change of values than change of desires. What does change of values mean? That earlier, I was welcoming temptation. Now, I am objecting to temptation.
This is a change of value. And this change of value itself is a sign of spiritual advancement. And change of value is actually more defining than change of desire.
Because just because we live in this world, desires are going to come. We can’t avoid desires. So, whether they come from internal stimuli, the internal stimuli or external stimuli, still the desires are going to come anyway.
So, Prabhupada would often quote that shloka, Yadavadhi Mama Chetah Krishna Padaravinde. He says that, Yamanacharya would say that, when I think of sense gratification, I spit at the thought. Now, often when we hear this, and my lips curl in distress and I spit at the thought, you know, we often emphasise in this part, that the lips curl in distress and I spit at the thought.
But actually, Yamanacharya is such a great saint and he is saying, when the thought comes in my mind. That means, even for a saint, the thoughts can come. But the difference is, what is the response? So, for the conditioned soul, when the thoughts come, there is no lips curling in distress.
Actually, there is salivating, you know, the mouth starts watering. So, what is happening? There is a completely different value. So, we shouldn’t really become discouraged just because some desires are coming.
The desires may come, if there is a change of value. Change of value is far more defining than change of desires. And the change of values does happen if we keep practising bhakti.
Now, what happens because of, if we have this pseudo guilt, we think some desire has come, then we feel, I am a fallen person, this bhakti process doesn’t work, it doesn’t work for me at least. Therefore, let me give it up. No, even if the desire has come, even if sometimes we fall for those desires also, doesn’t matter.
Again get up and start rising and moving forwards. So, one devotee was telling that how devotees values change. So, he said that actually, he came to a temple hall and twice in the temple hall, he forgot his camera, expensive camera.
And each time when he came back, he found that the camera was there. And nobody took it away. And he said, three times in the temple hall, I forgot Mahaprasad.
And when I came back, it had disappeared. So, values have changed. So, what has happened? Actually, values change.
And even if we look at our own life, we will find that our values have changed for many desires. Some of us might have been eating meat before. Now, from actually many devotees, when they fall away, practically, practically no devotee falls back to meat eating.
Maybe they fall back to sex, they fall back to gambling or they fall back to… Practically, meat eating is extremely rare because prasadam really gives higher taste. So, what happens? Suppose, we have started practising bhakti, we have been practising bhakti for a few years. And then suppose we are travelling in a train or a plane, and then some the neighbour starts eating meat.
So, what happens? Even if we had been eating meat, it is very rare that a devotee feels tempted by that. Actually, you can find even the smell of that a little bit distasteful. So, at least for that particular temptation, we can say my lips curl in distaste.
So, what has happened? This is a change of not only value, but also desire. So, change of value means what? I still find that attractive, but I don’t want to do it. Change of desire means I don’t even find it attractive.
So, actually, change of desire has also happened within us. It has happened for some things, it may not have happened for some things. The process of bhakti is working.
And actually, sometimes when we practise bhakti, again, as I said, we have to out-trick the mind. So, out-tricking the mind means sometimes the mind will say, you are practising bhakti, but still you have so many desires. What have you achieved by practising bhakti? But then, actually, we can look back and see all the ways in which we have changed.
And for all of us, we will see there has been significant change in our lives. Since the time we started practising bhakti. So, when we start feeling discouraged, we should look back at how far we have come.
When we start feeling discouraged, there is a big change in my life from what I was, say, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago. And then we feel encouraged. This process of bhakti does work.
So, when we feel discouraged, we should look back at how and see how far we have come. If you start feeling proud, I have become such an advanced devotee, then we should look ahead at how far we have to go. So, unfortunately, we do the opposite.
What we do is that we look back and look at all the mental things, people are so fallen, I am so advanced, and we become proud. And that is undesirable. That is judgemental mentality, which will be a, if we get time, we will discuss in a separate forum.
But the point here is that if the mind starts discouraging us, we have to somehow find a way to out trick it. If the mind says, hey, you are so fallen, you keep doing the same thing again and again. And okay, we can out trick the mind.
Well, at least I am regretting that I am doing it now. Earlier, I would be looking forward, when is the next opportunity going to come? When can I do it again? But now that is not happening. So, basically, anything that discourages us in our practise of bhakti, that is maya.
That is pseudo-guilt. So, nothing should be allowed to come between us and Krishna. So, guilt should come between us and maya, between us and the wrong activity.
It should not come between us and Krishna. And if anything starts coming in between us and Krishna, we have to find some way or the other to push it aside. Find, we need to associate with devotees who are encouraging, who are understanding, who are sympathetic.
And by their inspiration, we move onwards. And the important thing, I will conclude with one last point, that Krishna’s love for us doesn’t depend on who we are. Krishna’s love for us is not based on who we are.
It is based on who He is. Now, Krishna is God, Krishna is our parent, and Krishna always loves us. No matter what we are conditioned.
There is that verse in the Bhagavad Gita, apichetsu duracharo bhajate mamanyabhag sadhureva samantauhya samyagya vasito hisa Even if my devotee commits the most sinful activity, if that devotee keeps practising bhakti, then I consider them saintly Krishnas. So, what this verse means is that there is nothing we can do that can make Krishna stop loving us. We don’t have the power to do anything which will make Krishna stop loving us.
Krishna’s love for us doesn’t depend on who we are. It doesn’t depend on what we do. It depends simply on who He is.
He is our eternal well-wisher. He is our eternal benefactor. And He always loves us.
There is nothing that we can do because of which Krishna will say, no, I will leave your heart and go away now. Krishna will always be there in our heart and soul. He will never abandon us.
So, by knowing this, that Krishna always loves us. Now, when Krishna always loves us, what does that mean? It is Krishna’s love that He accepts us even when we are doing wrong. And it is our love that we try to stop doing wrong.
It is not that I perpetuate doing wrong and I say Krishna still loves me. No. Okay, Krishna still loves me, that is Krishna’s love for me.
But what is my love for Krishna? If I have some love for Krishna, I should do something which is pleasing and I should try to avoid the doings that are displeasing. So, certainly, we have to express our love. When I say there is nothing that we can do that can stop Krishna from loving us, that is not meant to be a licence for us to do whatever we want.
It is simply meant to avoid any discouragement because of our inability to practise any standards. Even if we are not able to practise standards, still Krishna loves us. And still Krishna wants us to come close to Him.
And still Krishna is ready to help us. And thus, by remembering that Krishna is always there with us to help us rise, we can avoid discouragement. So, the conscience should make us aware of what is right and wrong and should encourage us towards the right thing.
If it discourages us from doing the right thing, then that is actually Maya sabotaging that inner mechanism. And by remembering that Krishna always loves me, Krishna is never going to abandon me, we can take heart and we can keep moving onwards. No matter how many times we fall, we rise and we move on.
And each time we rise and we move on, we actually are taking step closer and closer towards Krishna. And over a period of time, we will become stronger and stronger and stronger. And eventually, we will be able to overcome the temptations.
Even if we are not able to overcome now, it does not matter. We may be defeated in certain battles against temptations, but we do not have to give up the war against temptation. We just keep fighting.
We may lose, again we start fighting. Again we keep going on. And this one point I will conclude with.
Sometimes what happens is that Maya makes us think that anyway if you resist temptation, you are not going to be able to resist lifelong. So, if you are going to indulge tomorrow, then indulge today only. What is the problem? You are not going to be able to give it lifelong.
So, why give it up now? But it’s not like that. See, when we think about fighting against temptation, it is like say if a person is lifting weight. Now, when a person is lifting weight, the weightlifter already knows that I am not going to be able to lift this weight lifelong.
But still, the longer the weightlifter lifts the weight, the muscles are becoming stronger. So, that way, when we fight against temptation, if we just resist temptation, and even if we succumb tomorrow or day after or whenever, that does not mean all the time we resisted it has gone waste. It’s not like that.
All the time we fought against temptation, all that time what has happened? It’s like we have lifted up the weight. Our inner muscles have become stronger. Our capacity to battle against temptation has become better.
So, it’s not that the progress in the battle against temptation is not only in winning. The progress is in just fighting. If you just keep fighting, we are progressing.
So, every moment that we are lifting up the weight, our muscles are becoming stronger. Every time we are resisting temptation, it may be that, okay, if I resist the temptation today, so tomorrow it may become bigger. But fine, I will deal with tomorrow’s issue tomorrow.
It’s not that because tomorrow I am going to indulge, so I should indulge today only. No, we just tolerate things knowing that actually the desires, even if I am not able to resist them for a long time, whatever I resist, by that my resistance capacity is increasing. My inner muscles are improving.
And thus, we can move onwards. And over a period of time, as our muscles become stronger and stronger, our capacity to resist will become stronger and stronger. And then, this battle, the battle will always go on.
But the battle will become easier to fight. The battle will become easier to fight. We will become seasoned fighters.
That’s like, initially, say there is a firefighter. And then, the new firefighter is there. And the firefighter goes, there is a fire alarm, and the firefighter goes to the place where the fire is there.
And it’s such a big fire, the firefighter has a hose in the hand and he drops out. Such a big fire, what should I do? Now, if there is a seasoned firefighter, then what happens to the seasoned firefighter? Even they also, the fire can burn a new firefighter, the fire can burn a seasoned firefighter. So, even a seasoned firefighter, when they see a big fire, they may get alarmed.
But then, what has made the difference is the training. They have been fighting fires for a long time, so the reflexes become stronger. And when the reflexes become stronger, there will also be a momentary panic or bewilderment.
But immediately, they pick up the hoses and they decide, okay, the fire, it’s smaller here, let us pour water over it. And they spring into action. So, the difference between the seasoned firefighter and the new firefighter is not that fire is not a danger.
It is not that the fire doesn’t cause fear. The difference is that the seasoned firefighter knows, reacts in the right way, responds in the right way faster. Because the reflexes have become stronger.
The reflexes have become sharper. So, similarly, when the fire of desire awakens within us, that fire of desire can agitate even a new devotee, it can agitate even a seasoned devotee. But the difference is, if we think that because the proof that I am an advanced devotee is that I should not have that desire.
It’s not going to work like that. The difference between an advanced devotee and a new devotee is that the reflexes become faster. That means when the desire comes, for us, the firehose is Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.
So, when temptation comes, it’s like, you know, firefighters have the firehose in their hands. But what happens? They drop the firehose in panic. So, like that, when temptations, we may be chanting Hare Krishna, just give up the chanting and we just fantasise.
But when we become seasoned at that time, still the fire of desire awakens. But then we know this is waterhose is there and it can extinguish the fire. So, we take shelter of Krishna faster.
So, and that happens when the firefighter, they just keep fighting, they keep fighting, they become more experienced, they become more seasoned, then the reflexes become faster. And those reflexes will not become faster if they don’t keep fighting the fires. So, like that, just like in a firefighter, sometimes in some firefighting battles, they win, sometimes they lose.
Sometimes they are able to save the property, sometimes the property gets burnt. But the more they keep fighting, keep fighting, they are becoming more seasoned, their reflexes are becoming sharper. So, like that, rather than thinking that, you know, I have to win every battle that comes in front of me and if I lose a battle, then I am good for nothing.
Not like that. The important thing is we keep fighting. Each time we are fighting, we are becoming seasoned firefighters.
Our spiritual reflexes are becoming stronger, we will move closer towards Krishna faster and thus we will be able to overcome desire. So, Krishna says over here that, tato bhajet maam prita shraddhalur dhudh nishtey. That even in spite of that, no matter we fall for lower desires still, don’t become discouraged.
Be enthusiastic, be hopeful that Krishna is helpful. Be hopeful because Krishna is helpful. And with that we move onwards, eventually we will be able to overcome desires.
So, I will summarise. Started by talking about how there is, if we let guilt come between us and Krishna, then that can hurt our spiritual life. So, I discussed about how guilt is the bark of the dog of conscience.
So, conscience is like a watchdog for our consciousness. It is the dog that barks when the thief of sin, thief of wrongdoing comes to steal our integrity. And this conscience, it is because that it is ultimately the voice of the super soul.
Sometimes it may be culturally conditioned also. So, we have to know what is conscience from, by confirming or by matching it to Guru Sadhshastra. So, if that dog is drugged and dog falls asleep, then the thief can just come in like that without any interruption.
So, like that, if we repeatedly indulge in wrongdoing, then the conscience becomes numbed. And then we don’t even feel the wrong while doing the wrong. And then we, that is a very dangerous situation.
So, the feeling of guilt is not bad. Actually, guilt is a part of an inner defence mechanism. It is part of, a guilt is a part of a healthy psychological state.
But when it becomes healthy is when it becomes, it starts discouraging. When it becomes unhealthy, it starts discouraging us. It is like a dog is drugged in such a way that dog starts barking at the master only.
So, like that, sometimes maya may distort this feeling of guilt. So, that guilt, instead of coming between us and wrongdoing, guilt comes between us and Krishna. That means guilt makes us feel, you are so fallen, you are so sinful.
How can you work out? Just give up the practise of bhakti. So, anything that either takes us away from Krishna or keeps us away from Krishna, both, it is maya. And once we recognise it as such, then we can fight against it.
And the way to fight against it is discussed in three parts. First is that within our consciousness, there are spikes of desires. And during the spikes, we may not be able to resist.
But we are not defined by what we do in those spikes. We are defined primarily by what we do in the rest of the time. So, our conditionings may make us fall.
But it is the pseudo guilt that keeps us fallen. That makes us think, oh, I am so fallen, I cannot rise. So, even if there are spikes when we do wrong, in between, if we are practising bhakti diligently, then we are becoming purer.
And when the spikes come also, we will be able to resist it. So, the point is, no matter what wrong happens, we never become discouraged in practising bhakti. Just keep practising bhakti diligently.
And we may fall down, but we don’t have to fall away. And then we discuss how to deal with the spikes themselves. For that, we discuss, we find out whether there are any external triggers for those spikes.
And then we create an obstacle between ourselves and the triggers. Like if a person obeys, then they can decide that I won’t keep fatty food around me. So, create an easy level.
So, what happens is, the spike, if I can just resist it when the spike comes, then sometimes the spike doesn’t last for a long time and I can overcome it. So, we create obstacles between us and the object of intelligence. And second is, sometimes the spikes may just come from within.
So, even when some desires pop up within, that does not mean that they are our desires. Just like if a thief comes, not from the outside door, but comes from a tunnel inside into the lawn, still it’s a thief. It’s not a member of the house.
So, like that, everything inside me is not me. And so, when wrong desires come, so, pseudo guilt makes us think that, hey, such desires are coming in you, therefore, you are very fallen. No, those desires are coming in me, but I don’t have to accept those desires.
So, Prabhupada explains, intelligence means to kill the thought before it becomes an action. So, from thought to desire to intention to action, that all happens when we identify with it. But if you don’t identify with it, it will not grow.
And that’s why rather than becoming discouraged because the desires are coming, we can look at change of value. At least when the desire is coming, I’m not welcoming it, I’m resisting it. So, change of values is more defining of spiritual advancement than change of desires.
And gradually, we will see in our spiritual life also, our desires have also changed. But in some cases, desires may have changed. In some cases, desires may not have changed.
By seeing where the desires have changed, we gain faith. And by knowing that our values have changed, we persevere in our bhakti. And with respect to change of values, I further discuss that.
How can we maintain this change of values? Yes, I’m not going to accept the desire, but how do we get the willpower to keep fighting? I had discussed two parts in that. That Krishna always loves us. Krishna’s love for us doesn’t depend on who we are.
It depends on who he is. So, knowing that Krishna always loves us, Krishna is always there to help us, we can avoid discouragement. And second is that even if you feel that this desire, I cannot resist for a long time, let me resist it right now.
That fighting against desire is not defined by whether I win the war or not. It is defined by how long I keep fighting the war. Just like, I’m never going to be able to lift the weight lifelong.
But how long I lift the weight, that’s building my muscles. So like that, whenever we fight against temptations, we are becoming stronger. And over a period of time, the strength will transform into purity of heart.
And then we’ll march forward steadily towards Krishna. Bhakti will become at that time steadily joyful. Thank you very much.
Are there any questions or comments? You said about the internal desires, like they are not us. So, when you are saying that, are you talking in terms of like soul? We are basically soul and we need a little bit of a break for that. Correct, yeah.
So, when I said that the internal desires are not me, what does it mean? Are you talking about the difference between the soul and the mind? Yes. See, one way to understand this difference is, the mind is Maya’s internal advertising agent. So, what does it mean? Suppose, you know, if in the past, I had been purchasing some product, and now I decide I don’t want to purchase the product.
Just because I have decided not to purchase the product, that does not mean the advertising agents are going to stop advertising it. Isn’t it? But, so, just because they are advertising, it doesn’t mean I have to purchase it. But just because I am not purchasing, it doesn’t mean they are going to stop advertising.
So, if you understand, the mind is the internal advertising agent. So, in the past, whatever the mind was advertising, we were purchasing. Mind says, do this, yeah, I’ll do it immediately.
So, but now, we have decided I want to stop purchasing. But just because we have stopped purchasing, the mind is not going to stop advertising. So, basically, just as we understand this advertiser is a different person, I am a different person.
And I have to decide whether to purchase or not. So, similarly, when the mind advertises, you see, we have certain values, we have certain resolutions, we have certain aspirations. This is what I would like to become.
This is how I want to be. So, if we study Shastra regularly, if we do sadhana nicely, then we are reminded of our values. And then when certain desires pop up within our consciousness, which are contrary to our values, then we understand, okay, these are coming from the mind, these are not my desires.
So, if you are not hearing Shastra regularly, if you are not connecting with Krishna regularly, then we do not remember our values. And when the desires come, then immediately, we just accept those desires. So, by studying scripture regularly, especially, we are reminded of our values, the values that we, even if we do not have those values, the values we aspire towards.
And then we can differentiate between those values and those desires that are coming up. And then we can resist those desires. Does it answer the question? Okay, I also, there are some, you would ask me some, I answer questions online.
I have a website called The Spiritual Scientist. And it is TheSpiritualScientist.com. There almost I have answered around 3500 questions, already in audio are answered. So, you can also post questions there.
Before that, if you just search, many of the common questions are answered. Some of them are transcribed also. So, if you search, you may find the answer.
Otherwise, you can post your questions there and I will answer in due course of time. How to, how can we repent? Okay. There is remorse and there is repent.
So, actually, let me put the Sanskrit words first because English, the sense is not so clear. There is paschata and there is prayaschitta. Prayaschitta is the external activity that we do for atonement.
Prayaschitta is the inner feeling that I did wrong. So, prayaschitta is the inner awareness that I did something wrong. And paschata, sorry, the paschata is the inner awareness that I did something wrong.
And prayaschitta is the external thing that I do to counter it. So, now, in the process of bhakti, especially in the Srimad Bhagavatam, the sixth canto, it is described that the best atonement is bhakti itself. That means, if we do something wrong, the solution to it is, rather than, we can do some fasting, we can do some austerity, that’s all good.
But the most important thing is that desire will get cleansed by the practise of bhakti itself. So, if we find that we have done something wrong, then the best thing to do is to increase our commitment to the practise of bhakti. That means, I may decide that, now, okay, I did something wrong, I may chant some extra rounds.
Or I may read some Bhagavatam more, I may do some deity worship more, I may sing some kirtans more. So, this we can be flexible. We don’t have to necessarily do something which is the most difficult for us to do.
We can even do something which is most joyful for us. So, if I find that I like to sing bhajans, then I like to sing bhajans, but I somehow put it aside. Then I decide, I have done something wrong.
So, every day I will spend 15 minutes, I will sing some bhajans, very prayerful bhajans to try to purify my heart. Or I will maybe read Bhagavatam, some verses every day. So, basically the best way to atone is to connect ourselves with Krishna more, is to commit ourselves to connecting with Krishna.
And sometimes some kind of self-punishment may help, but that really doesn’t change much. What really changes is purification of the heart happens through the increased connection with Krishna. So, repentance is more like the feeling, the atonement is the external action that we do.
So, now how do we, if the question is how do we repent, means how do we get the feeling? If we are not feeling only that I did something wrong, then we have to actually associate with devotees who are striving to live purely. And then when we see how purely they are living, and then we see how we are living, this is not the way I should be living. We hear shastra and then we understand this is a pure standard.
And then we at least become aware that what I am doing is not the right thing. So, repentance comes by associating with pure-hearted devotees. And atonement is best done by committing ourselves to the practise of bhakti more diligently.
Then if we tolerate the spikes, then isn’t it like suppressing them and won’t they come with greater force and then maybe these desires will come at the time of death also and they may cause us to take another birth? Yes, that’s possible. For example, we all are pleasure-seeking creatures. We cannot live without happiness.
That is for sure. We cannot live without happiness. Now the question is where do we find happiness? Prabhupada says we are not meant to kill desires, we are meant to cure desires.
Cure desires means we want to have healthy desires. Healthy desires are the desire to find happiness in things connected with Krishna. So, if we find that there are certain desires which are very strong and they keep coming again and again, then it is that if we keep resisting it, is it suppression? If we are not seeking and finding happiness somewhere else, then that will be suppression.
See, if we are able to find happiness somewhere else, then that is not suppression, that is redirection. Suppression means there is a longing for happiness and I am just not giving any vent for it. All that I am doing here is that I am refusing one particular vent for that longing, but I am offering it some other vent.
And when we offer it some other vent, when we find happiness elsewhere, then that craving goes away. Then that craving is no longer suppression. So, now that is why it is, that’s why what is called about is regulation.
Regulation means now there are different kinds of desires and different desires have to be dealt with in different ways. Some desires have to be entirely given up. Some desires can be regulated.
So, some desires are very wrong, we give them up completely. Some desires are meant to be regulated and regulations can also be at different levels, at different stages of spiritual advancement. So, it’s not that all desires can be entirely eliminated right away.
There is a progression and we have to be realistic about how I can give up the desires. And we may consider something, we may look at our own life and plan and then deal with the whole process. So, suppression can lead to the desires coming back along, coming back stronger.
And then we have to, if we are redirecting the desires, that will not happen so much. And if we find that a particular desire is very strong, then that desire can also be fulfilled but in a regulated way. So, it is not that the desire will come only when we don’t indulge in it.
Actually, even when we indulge also the desire comes back, isn’t it? Then actually when we indulge, it is not that the desire goes away. In fact, what happens is when we indulge, that is like the shastras say, जातू काम कामानां भोगेन शम्यति हविषा कुष्णवर्थमेव भुयेभाविदर्धते That when we indulge in desires, it is like putting fuel in fire. The desire will grow further.
But there is a difference. The difference is when there is regulated indulgence, then at time what happens is there is the practise of bhakti going on, there is the practise of dharma going on and that dharma purifies us. So, we shouldn’t think that only if I don’t indulge, the desire will come back.
Even if I indulge, the desire is going to come back. So, the dealing with the desire is not based primarily whether I am satisfying the desire or I am repressing the desire. The dealing with the desire is primarily determined by how I am turning towards Krishna and finding higher happiness.
And finding higher happiness is the way to deal with problems. There was a psychologist, he is considered the father of modern psychology, Sigmund Freud. And he had this whole theory that most of the problems that people have, they are because their sexual desires are repressed.
And he said, therefore, people should just express their sexuality. And this whole culture of free sex that has come in the modern society, we sometimes say this is Western culture. But actually, this was not even Western culture 100 years ago.
Even the West was fairly regulated. But it was Sigmund Freud’s idea that led to this whole idea that our problems are because of sexual repression. But then we see, yes, if people don’t have any way to find happiness and they are repressed, then that repression can cause problems.
But it’s not that repression alone causes problems. You know, expression also causes problems, isn’t it? So, we see that this whole culture of free sex, it has led to so many marriages breaking down, so many abortions happening, so many single mothers, so much family breakdown, so many children growing in broken families. It’s created all kinds of problems on its own.
So, it is not that repression causes problem and expression is the solution to the problems. Or it is not that expression is the solution to the problem. Neither way.
This real solution is redirection. And while doing redirection, how we deal with that desire, that will depend on us. So, some people may try to regulate their desire.
Some people may try to avoid that desire. And some people may regulate at different levels at different times in the spiritual life. So, it’s like our consciousness should not be focused on fighting with the desire.
Our consciousness has to be focused on connecting with Krishna. Because as soon as I’m thinking of fighting the desire, I’m already in material consciousness. Because I’m conscious of the desire.
This is the desire I have to fight. That means I’m conscious of the desire and I’m in material consciousness. I have to raise my consciousness to Krishna.
So, our focus should not be on fighting desire. Our focus should be on connecting with Krishna. And the more we connect with Krishna, then the desire automatically will be dealt with at an appropriate level.
Does it answer the question? Any other questions? Yes, please. So, if a devotee is practising bhakti, and then the parents or family members are opposing, and then we have to maybe hide and practise bhakti or we have to go against their will, and at that time we feel bad. So, is that pseudo guilt or is it actually guilt? See, there is adharma, there is aparadharma and there is paradharma.
Adharma is sinful activity. Aparadharma is actually material religiosity. It is non-transcendental dharma.
It is still dharma, but it is non-transcendental dharma. And there is paradharma. Paradharma is spiritual dharma.
So, bhakti is paradharma. Aparadharma, all our family relationships, they are aparadharma. Even if we are living in a particular society, we have some duties in society.
If we are living in a particular country, we have certain responsibilities towards the country. So, all those are aparadharma. So, now, actually conscience is good in both cases of paradharma and aparadharma.
That means, if somebody is neglecting family responsibilities for the sake of just being a loafer, you know, then that is a person going down from aparadharma to adharma. And at that time, guilt, the feeling of guilt is good. It is essential, actually.
So, aparadharma is also important. And if a person is neglecting one’s family responsibilities for the sake of just fooling around, that is bad. So, now, that brings us to the next point that similarly, when we are doing paradharma, at that time, if we are tempted towards adharma, to feel bad is good.
Now, the question comes, what about between aparadharma and paradharma? If you have to choose between the two. So, it is as far as possible, we should try to balance the two. Our priority is paradharma.
But that does not mean aparadharma is to be rejected. Aparadharma is also important. And we have to balance.
And yes, initially there is going to be, see, our parents are also our well-wishers. Our relatives are also usually our well-wishers. It is just that, you know, they may not have spiritual knowledge and that’s why their well-wishes may actually not be translating into benevolent action.
There is intention and there is action. So, they want our good, but what they think is good for us may not necessarily be what is really good for us. But that does not mean that we discount their intention and we disrespect or neglect them.
So, we have to do things in such a way that we try to minimise the distress or the hurt and cost to them and we move forward in our bhakti. So, to feel bad when we hurt anyone, that is good. That means we have some sensitivity.
And especially those who have loved us, those who have taken care of us for many, many years, we don’t want to hurt them indiscriminately or we don’t want to be insensitive. But we have to be, see, one extreme is insensitivity and the other extreme is sentimentality. Insensitivity means that I don’t feel anything only.
I don’t care for others’ feelings and others’ feelings don’t cause any feelings with me at all. But sentimentality means feelings is all that determines my decisions. So, both are extremes and both are wrong.
So, we have to have a balanced state. Balanced state means we are sensitive but at the same time we are not sentimental. That means we have an understanding of what is right and wrong and then we act in a proper way.
So, if sometimes for the sake of paradharma, we have to neglect aparadharma, that is okay. And say some people become brahmacharis. At that time, they may give up their aparadharma and take the paradharma completely.
But in other cases, if we are grahasthas or if we are still living in the world, then our aparadharma is also important. Because our aparadharma is important, we have to take care of that. So, it is not that we have to come to a level in our life where there is some level of understanding between the two.
There will always be some tension but there is some level of understanding also has to come. Okay, this is the time which I’ll be spending for this. This is the time I’ll be spending for this.
And then sometimes this may take more time, sometimes that may take more time. That’s when adjustments are there. But we can’t just trivialise and neglect aparadharma for the sake of paradharma.
Both have to be balanced. Does that answer your question? Yes, I am telling the truth. Okay, what is the subconscious and what is conscience? Okay, as I said, conscience is basically, in Sanskrit is called as viveka buddhi.
Viveka buddhi is that which tells us what is right and what is wrong. So, in a pure state or in a cultured state, the conscience usually is the voice of the super soul. Conscience basically tells us what is right and what is wrong.
But as I said, the conscience can also be culturally conditioned. And that’s why depending on different cultural conditionings, the conscience may not always say that which is right and that is wrong. So, conscience cannot be an absolute barometer for deciding what is right and what is wrong.
But conscience can be a fair barometer. And especially if we are brought up in a pious culture, if we are devoted, the conscience is often the voice of the super soul. But not always.
Basically, we could say that the conscience is like our inner guard. So, the whole subtle body itself is, as the word says, subtle. So, that means that within the intelligence, now we can say that modern psychology, there are seven kinds of intelligences.
So, now we can’t really jog, we can’t locate, pinpoint, this is the location of this intelligence, this is the location of this intelligence. We can basically analyse in terms of functionality. Okay, this person has high linguistic intelligence.
This person has high mathematical intelligence, like that. So, it’s in terms of functionality. Similarly, we can’t pinpoint a location for conscience in the subtle body.
But we understand the conscience in terms of functionality. So, the functionality is that it tells us what is right and what is wrong. Now, the subconscious, I have not seen any direct Sanskrit reference to the concept, to the word subconscious.
There is chetan, there is achetan and there is avachetan. So, achetan is unconscious, avachetan is subconscious. But the word is there for that, but the concept itself, it’s not directly mentioned.
But it’s a fair and it’s not incompatible with our philosophy. The idea of subconscious means that our mind is a reservoir of impressions. And there are many, many things more in our mind than what are there in our consciousness.
It’s just like if I have a computer. In my computer, a particular book is being seen on the monitor. But along with that book, I may have 5,000 other books over there.
It’s just that they are not open right now. They are there in the computer, but they are not there right now. So, like that, there are certain thoughts, certain desires, they are there in our consciousness.
So, we are conscious of them. That’s like the open book, the book that is open on the computer. And there are many other things that are there which are not open right now.
They are closed. So, they are like in the subconscious mind. But this is not exactly the right example.
Because when we talk about subconscious, that means that is not only that it is not active, but often its presence also I am not aware. So, it’s just like if I have a computer, and in that, say, I purchase a secondhand computer, and it has some hidden folders. I don’t even know those hidden folders are there.
I search in the directory and I find out this folder, these files, these files, these files are there. But then, suppose I have some programme, some software, which unhides all the folders, then I find, hey, all these books are also there over here. I didn’t know anything.
So, basically, the subconscious is like that hidden folder. It is something which even we are not aware of. But sometimes it just pops up.
I’m saying, what is this? How is this happening? So, the subconscious can work negatively, it can also work positively. When we say that, when we practise bhakti in this life, it’s never lost, and that we carry it over to the next life. So, what is it that we carry over? That is the subconscious attraction towards Krishna.
It is not that if somebody has practised bhakti in this life, when they are born in the next life, as a baby, when they are born, instead of crying, they’ll be chanting Bhagavata shlokas. Even if a person is a very advanced devotee, then they acquire a new body, and that is going to function according to the body itself. But in that new lifetime, what happens is, the child may himself or herself not understand, but the child feels attracted towards Krishna.
So, purvabhyasena tenaiva riyate yavasopisa jijnasura-piyogasya shabda-brahmati-varate By purvabhyasa, by previous practise, riyate yavasopisa is helplessly attracted. So, that is like that the impressions get stored in the subconscious, and those impressions push us towards Krishna in the future life. And that’s how in the subconscious, there can be impressions which can take us towards sense gratification or wrong things.
There are impressions which can also take us towards Krishna. Does it answer your question? Yes, ma’am. Does intuition also fall in this? Yes, actually, intuition is, again, as I said, in the inner world, it’s not so much of composition that the analysis is.
It’s a function. It’s not that even if we talk about the brain, it is not that there’s one exactly you can locate this particular part of the brain is alone connected with this and this alone part is connected. It’s not like that.
Some broad correlation is there, but it’s not so much. So, intuition is also a function of the intelligence. So, just as conscience, we could say it is present in the subtle body.
It’s a function in the subtle body. So, intuition is also a function in the subtle body. So, usually, the intuition is like I told you yesterday about positive connotation and negative connotation.
There’s slim and there is thin. The slim is a person who is positive connotation, thin is negative. So, like that, there is impulse and there is intuition.
So, impulse is usually seen as a negative connotation. Don’t be impulsive. Don’t act on impulses.
But intuition is something we feel. This is what I should do. But I’m not able to, I’m not really, if you ask me a logical reason why I should do this, I’m not able to give a logical reason, but I feel strongly I should do this.
So, that is intuition. So, when it is towards doing something positive, doing something which is good, then that is that inner voice which prompts us towards doing something good. Even when there is no logical explanation for why I should do like this, that is called intuition.
So, that’s why Krishna said the mind can act as a friend as well as an enemy. So, basically from the inner voice, sometimes some good hunches can also come for us. This is some short-sighted impulses can come, but then good hunches can also come.
So, intuition is also basically a function of the subtle body. Any other questions? We feel guilty of some dreams which are not at all connected to our desires. How to deal with them? That means you’re saying that we don’t have the desires in the daytime, but still the dreams come at night.
So, what to do about them? Yeah. Then in the Vedanta Sutra, in the Govinda Bhashya, there is a commentary of Baldevidya Vashana, there is a very beautiful section on dreams. And there he explains that actually, people say dreams are false.
But Baldevidya Vashana says dreams are also real. And it’s a whole elaborate analysis. I have a whole class on dreams, actually.
But here I’ll just take two, three points. Basically, he says that if we consider our dreams, in some of our dreams, we are observers. In some of our dreams, we are participants.
But in none of our dreams are we the absolute controllers. That means, you know, sometimes we may say it was like a dream. But actually, even in our dream, we are not always the absolute controller.
Even in our dreams, sometimes things happen which we don’t want to happen. This happened, that happened. So, he says, okay, if I am not the controller of the dreams, then what is determining the dreams? So, he says that just as this physical world is created by Ishwara, it is created by the Lord to give us the results of our karma.
I got some good results, some bad results. I was born in this world to get the results. So, the gross world is created by Ishwara to give us the gross results of our karma.
And the subtle world of dreams is created by Ishwara to give us the subtle results of karma. So, that means, if some small wrong things have been done by us in the past, then the reactions to them come in dreams. Like sometimes some people, they sleep and they get nightmares.
Now, it’s miserable. The body needs sleep. But as soon as you sleep, you get nightmares.
It’s a miserable state. Now, why is that happening? They get those nightmares because those nightmares are a reaction to some karma. So, like that, sometimes in our dreams, we may get certain desires which are just the playing out of some past karma.
Just like with respect to… Now, normally, we think of karmic reactions in terms of, say, some sufferings. But karmic reactions are not necessarily in terms of sufferings alone. Sometimes, karmic reactions may also come in terms of increased desires.
Sometimes, we may go through some phases, when suddenly the desires within us, the lust, the anger, the greed, the whole craving shoots up at some times. So, those are also phases. Those phases come because of our past karma.
Just like those phases can come in terms of the desires hiking up because of past karma. Sometimes, so like that, some desires may come in our heart, in our dreams also. So, Vande Guru Devamohan explains that the key difference between the dream state and the awakening state is that we have our swecha in jagruti.
We can’t exercise our swecha so much in swapna. In dreams, just things happen and we also do things. It is not that in dreams, we consciously choose, should I do this or should I do that? And then we deliberate and we decide.
There may be all that, but it’s not really we are thinking. In the dream, we are just seeing it happening. He says our destiny is primarily determined by our choices.
So, because we don’t consciously choose in dreams, therefore, whatever happens in dream, that is simply exhaustion of past karma. It is not incurring of new karma. So, even if I get some desires in the dream, I’m not going to incur any karma by that.
It is just exhausting that those desires are coming and my past karma is getting exhausted. In the conscious stage, in the awakened stage, we respond to desires. And if we respond to wrong desires or wrong actions, then we are incurring karma.
That’s why, in general, Prabhupada said don’t worry too much about dreams. Prabhupada’s attitude was that dreams will come and dreams will go. You don’t have to get too much worried about whatever dreams might be there.
How to deal when our family members get the spikes? Spouse or children or parents or relations? Yeah. See, our spirituality is meant to make us more understanding, not more judgemental. Unfortunately, this is what happens.
Now, when we become spiritual and we start becoming more judgemental towards others, you know, why are you doing this? And we should always be understanding. Because when it comes to the battle against desires, you know, today, they may be victims of those desires. Tomorrow, we may become victims.
So, rather than seeing that they are indulging and I am pure, you should know that we are all partners. We are all partners and we are all fighting together. So, now, when people are going through phases, when our loved ones are going through the spikes of desires, now, we should not become judgemental and close them off.
Now, you are sinful, you are fallen, you are attached, you are this, you are that. It should never be like this. Rather than seeing that, you know, the desire is attacking them and we attack them with high moral, with a high moral ground, then they become completely lonely.
Now, we have to be with them. Now, when people are overcome by desires, especially it happens, say, for parents, when the children come to the teenage, at that time, they go into rebellion. At that time, the parents become very judgemental and the children just close off.
But even at that time, what the parents have to do is, parents have to still make sure that the children feel loved, children feel cared, children feel valued. The parents need to also express their disapproval of whatever the children are doing. But that disapproval should not be the dominant theme of the relationship.
Now, the dominant theme of the relationship should still be love. I still love you, I still care for you. And yes, what you are doing, this is not the right thing, it is not the good thing.
But still, it is not that just because you are doing this thing, I reject you. We always have to have a platform of love in the relationship, platform of affection in the relationship. And within that, then when different people go through different phases, we practically how we deal with it, that will vary.
Now, if sometimes what happens is, spiritual standards become used as weapons in domestic ego battles. Domestic ego battles means, to my family members, I am better or you are better. And then if I am following a higher spiritual standard, I use that to beat the other person.
No, spiritual standards, our spirituality is meant to make us more understanding, not more judgemental. This does not mean that we just sanction and let anyone do anything. But the point is, we have to be understanding and we have to, rather than seeing that the desire is here and they are being beaten by desire, we have to be with them and help them deal with the desire.
Now, how to help them deal with the desire? That specifically will vary according to time, place, circumstance. But the point is that it is actually, it is affection and love that is the best counter for desire. When people, it is all of us, when we feel, see what happens with any kind of relationship.
Sometimes we differentiate, oh this is spiritual relationship, this is a material relationship. And material is not what spiritual is good. But it’s not like that.
Actually, every relationship, it creates some amount of selflessness within us. If I care for someone, then I have to put that person first. And then that means I have to put myself a little bit down.
So, rather, sometimes we see the material relationship and spiritual relationships as competitors. That is, to develop a spiritual relationship, I have to give up material relationship. Now, in some cases, that may be true.
But in general, we see that material relationships and our spiritual relationships, they are all landmarks in the journey towards selflessness. That means, just as I want to become selfless in my relationship with Krishna, similarly, whatever relationship I have in this world, they also help me to become selfless. So, they also help me if I am concerned about my family members, if I am concerned about those, my loved ones, then that also makes me responsible.
That also makes me a little bit selfless. So, in that sense, we grow through all relationships. So, if somebody is being dragged down by a lower desire, if there is an affectionate relationship, then that affectionate relationship helps them come out of the spell of that desire.
That desire is selfish. But every relationship can help us grow in selflessness. And then if we have a strong relationship, then that person also gets the impetus to fight off that selfish desire and grow in selflessness.
So, basically, when others are going through spikes of desires, we need to not be judgemental and look down at them, but rather, we have to be understanding and be with them in helping them fight with their desire. Okay, last question. It is said that we should meditate on our past sinful activity so that we will feel humble, so that we will not become proud.
So, how do we do that? So, basically, yes. Every kind of, ultimately, all principles that are talked about, their ultimate purpose is to help us move closer towards Krishna. sarva-vidhi-niśe dāsaṁ etayor eva kiṁ karoṁ smarta-vi-satanaṁ viṣṇuṁ smarta-vi-najātu-cit That all rules and regulations are subordinate to the principle of remembering Krishna.
So, now, if we think about our past sinful activities, there can be, the three modes can influence everything. So, we can think about the past sinful activities in goodness. We can think about them in passion.
We can think about them in ignorance. You know, if I think though, if I think about my past sinful activities in goodness, in goodness means where my mind is calm, my consciousness is clear, and then I understand, you know, I was like that. Thank God that I have changed now.
And I should never become like that again. I should protect myself. So, in goodness, we see with the eyes of wisdom.
And then we see that is actually a lower state. This is a higher state. And I’m grateful that I’m at a higher state.
And I should do what it takes to stay at the higher state. But if I’m in rajoguna, if I’m in the mode of passion, and I think about the past sinful activities, what happens is, in rajoguna, in passion, the sinful doesn’t seem sinful. The sinful seems joyful, actually.
Oh, there’s so much pleasure over there. And you may start thinking, I left it all. What have I got? Maybe I should be doing that again.
So, when we think about anything wrong that we have done in the past sinful activities, unless our conscience is very clear that that is wrong and this is right, if that is not clear, we start thinking about it, then the desires will awaken and we start indulging it again. So, we have to be careful that when we think about the past also, it is when we are in sattvaguna, it is that those desires are not being kindled again. Rather, our gratitude for having saved from those desires is increased.
And if we are in tamoguna, and we think about a past sinful activity, then basically, we just start feeling sorry for ourselves. I was like that. And then deciding I still have so many conditionings and I can never change.
I’m so fallen on. So, that way, we just start feeling helpless. So, whatever we think about, we think in a way that elevates our consciousness, not degrades our consciousness.
And again, there is a difference between feeling humble and feeling guilty. See, feeling humble is basically a launching pad so that we can think about Krishna. Feeling humble means I am not caught in self-consciousness.
I’m not thinking about myself, how great I am, how this I am, how that I am. So, then if I’m not self-conscious, then I can become conscious of Krishna more easily. But when I feel guilty, see, usually guilt, humility is meant to be a steady state of consciousness for us.
As devotees, we try to be always humble. But guilt is not meant to be a steady state of consciousness. It’s not that we are always meant to feel guilty because guilt is actually, it is mainly something which checks us from doing something.
If as I said, guilt comes between us and the wrong doing. So, it’s not that all the time round the clock we have to feel guilty. That can be emotionally damaging actually.
It can just debilitate us, it can de-energise us and it can make us feel very down. So, basically, whenever we do something wrong, at that time we need to feel that, oh, this was the wrong thing, I should not have done. That guilt is something which is, which is, protects us from wrong doing.
But it is not something, it’s not that we should habitually cultivate a feeling of guilt. We should habitually cultivate a feeling of humility. And that humility comes when we are thinking about our wrong doings from the mode of goodness, not from the lower modes.
So, thank you very much.