​What to do if pressing the pause button amidst provocations will make things worse?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So, how can we press a pause button without making the situation worse? Say, if there is a discussion or dispute will not walk out. People may also feel insulted by that and that may make the situation worse. Yes, that is possible.
So, again, there is principle and there are practices. So, we will have to see for ourselves what practices work in what situations. So, quite often we can try to practice the pause button on ourselves when we are with ourselves.
That means when we are dealing with our own desires, our own anger. Actually, the mind decides that sometimes we are just working and we are doing something and the mind is eating us from behind. It is like sometimes we have this big TV which is split screen.
Suppose there are two screens over there and the mother has told the child, OK, this educational TV channel, watch this TV channel. And that TV channel is on and the mother is thinking the child is watching the TV. The child has actually split the screen.
And the TV channel is there, but the sports channel is also there. And the mother is thinking that the educational channel is being watched, but the child is watching the sports channel. So, like that what happens? Our mind, we are doing one thing, but the mind is working or getting worked up over something else entirely.
So, when we are dealing with ourselves, if at that time we apply the pause button, then we get habituated to applying it. And then we may not need any drastic external action to apply it. Let me say if I recite some verses in my mind, if I am habituated to reciting verses or chanting or chanting the Mahamantra or singing, and I do that regularly, I might be able to do it in my mind also and calm down.
So, there is a heated debate going on, but at that time for a few minutes, I just turn off and take my consciousness towards Krishna. So, that way, if we are taking shelter of that manifestation of Krishna regularly, then even without any external drastic action, we may be able to take shelter of it when we are with others. That is the first thing, we habituate ourselves.
Second thing is that we have to sometimes be willing to be misunderstood to be understood. You know, sometimes certain actions may be misunderstood by others, but that’s just what is required so that we are in a frame where we can communicate. So, it’s not that any action is irrevocable.
Even if say I’m getting so worked up and I’m going to explode, that time I walk away, the person may think negatively about me. But if I stay there and speak, it may make things worse. So, maybe there is going to be misunderstanding during that period and I just have to live with that.
So, we have to basically see what is more costly in terms of that relationship. And sometimes it is not that people are always going to misunderstand, especially if people know us overall and our normal behavior. Normally, we behave in a proper way and then suddenly some odd behavior comes up.
It is not that people are going to forget all the past track record and just judge us only by this. So, if sometimes there is something which we need to do, then we do it and then afterwards we clarify. That time we just get into too much wild for me, so I had to leave.
So, if we explain, then people may understand. So, we have to actually evaluate which is going to have a bigger cost. So, although sometimes we feel that, you know, if I act like this, what will happen? But we would not worry so much about what people thought about us, if we knew how little people thought about us.
What that means is that actually, I think if I do this, he will think like this, if I do this, she will think like this, if I do this. But actually, you know, everybody has their own life. Everybody has their own problems, everybody has their own issues and they are busy dealing with those issues.
So, it is not that because I did something, you know, they are going to devote the rest of life to think about what I did that. No, everybody is busy. If you look at it, if you turn it another way, on our sense, if somebody behaves in an odd way, we may get some questions.
But how long are we going to think about that? We have so many other things to do in our life. So, like that, we don’t have to worry too much about public perception. We do have to be aware of it.
But sometimes, some negative public perception may be worth it so that we can act properly. Does that address the question? Thank you. Great question.