​If we are unable to avoid negative emotions, how can we deal with them?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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Hare Krishna. So if negative emotions like say envy or anger overwhelm us and we are not able to resist them, how do we try even when we are practicing bhakti? So what should we do? Yeah, see firstly, negative emotions don’t make us a negative person. It is negative actions that make us a negative person.
See, our emotions, they can come from various sources. The emotions come, it’s only when we act on them it becomes a problem. So Aishwarya Prabhupada in one lecture, in one letter, he says that what is intelligence? He says intelligence means to kill the thought before it becomes an action.
It’s a very practical definition. That is thought, first we think about something, then we as you think about it, we get emotions about it. So thought grows into emotion, then emotion grows into intention and then intention grows into action.
I think about something, I want it, how can I am going to get it this way and then I get it and I do it. So if before that thought transforms into an action, before we can kill it, that is intelligence. So that means that just the presence of negative emotions is not the problem.
It is only when we dwell on them and we act on them that it becomes a problem. When I say it’s not a problem, that means that they can just be present within us. Even a pure devotee like Yamunacharya, he’s saying that when I get material desire, at that time my lips curl in distaste and I spit into thought.
That is a response to sensual desires. But the fact is he’s saying when I get sensual desire, that means even he may get sensual desires. Even a great saint can sometimes get sensual desire, but their response is that they don’t get captivated by it.
They don’t give into it. So now in our case, if you consider our negative emotions also, they come to us in spikes. If I’m feeling envious of someone, if I’m feeling angry towards someone, there might be some little anger that is there in the background constantly, but it surges up at certain times.
And when it surges up like a peak or a spike, at that time it becomes very difficult to deal with it. But this spike doesn’t stay all the time. So what we do in between these spikes is what defines our spiritual growth.
So unfortunately, the mind is like a very cunning trickster. So first the mind induces us with this negative emotion. We feel envy towards someone, we feel anger towards someone.
And then under this, this is like the surge coming up, the spike going up. When the spike goes up, we do something undesirable. We speak harshly, we speak behind the back of some people about something like that.
And then a spike, it goes up, during that time we do something wrong. But after the spike goes down, in the same mind which made us do wrong, then that same mind now becomes a judge and starts beating us up. You are such a fool.
You are such a rascal. You’re such a fallen person. There is no hope for you.
And now what is happening? The same mind is playing a dangerous double role. First it makes us do wrong, and then it beats us for doing wrong. And beats us up for doing wrong.
And this way, in both cases, we are simply mind conscious. Mind says, do it, do it. Okay, I’ll do it.
And mind says, why did I do it? Why did I do it? Why did I do it? Neither way, I’m not Krishna conscious. So what we should do is, when the spikes come, we may not be able to deal with them. But at least when the spikes are not there, we should focus on being Krishna conscious.
Okay, I was envious. I was angry. I spoke something bad.
It was not good. But it’s over now. Let me focus on Krishna right now.
And that way, if in between the spikes, we focus on Krishna, that connection with Krishna purifies us. And as we become purified more and more, then we get the capacity to deal with the spikes also. We become stronger and then we can resist the spikes.
So that’s why, rather than worrying too much about when the spikes will come and how we will respond, can focus on what we can do when our emotions are relatively in control. At that time, focus wholeheartedly on practicing bhakti. And with respect to the spikes themselves, we can try to observe which are the situations in which we get provoked.
And try to minimize exposure to them. Or if not minimize, at least prepare. If I know that, say, if I’m going on a road, and on that road, there is a pothole.
Then if I’m going in my car, I anticipate that and I swerve around. I go around the pothole. So like that, if we know situations when we tend to get envious, when we tend to get short-tempered, then we anticipate that.
Okay, this is when I’m going to happen. How can I deal with it? So that way, we can minimize the trouble that may come because of the spikes. But essentially, rather than worrying too much about the spikes, we can focus on doing, on being Krishna conscious in between the spikes.
And eventually, the spikes will become more manageable. Does that answer your question? Thank you. So any other questions? Shall we stop?