​If some devotees keep rejecting us despite our best efforts to please them, what should we do?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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So, if we are repeatedly rejected by some group of people, what should we do? Even if we are trying to give them respect and they are still not respecting us.
See, the easiest way to make ourselves miserable is to try to please everyone. So, we just can’t please everyone. And if after reasonable amount of efforts, if some people still remain implacable, then we have to understand that this social circle is just not for me.
So, even within devotee circle, there are different devotees of different natures. In Rupa Goswami, in the Bhaktasambandhan, he says that we need Sajatiya Ashaya Bhagwat Bhaktasambandhan. So, that means not just devotee association, but like-minded devotee association.
So, we have to find out where will I get like-minded association. And sometimes it may not be in our social circle. It may be in some other social circle.
We don’t disrespect or reject that social circle. But we can’t live in a place where we are constantly rejected or downplayed. So, when I started writing about 15 years ago as a brahmachari, writing nowadays with blogs coming up, many people are writing.
But at that time no one was writing. So, before I was introduced to Bhakti, I used to read the Times of India. I used to read the Speaking Tree.
There was a spiritual column there. I used to like to read that. And then in 2003 or 2004, I wrote an article and it was published in Speaking Tree.
That was like a childhood dream come true for me. Then I came and told other devotees, you know, my article came in Speaking Tree. How can a tree speak? Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter There was no understanding of what I was doing.
So, at that time, I actually felt very rejected. You know, what is this? I worked so hard and nobody is recognizing it. But actually a few days later, maybe a few weeks later, His Holiness Jai Dutt Maharaj had come to the temple where I was staying.
And then after the class, I just told Maharaj, Maharaj, I have written some articles. Can you see them? He said, yes. I showed one article to Maharaj and said, come to my room.
And Maharaj actually went through all the articles and he said, it was so lavishly appreciative. And he said, you know, actually this is what Srila Prabhupada wanted but nobody is writing the newspaper. Very well.
He appreciated me, encouraged me and then afterwards I asked Maharaj, how should I write? Now, how can I learn to write? Then Maharaj, this was about 15 years ago, I think in India, there was Amazon and nothing was there. So Maharaj gave me a list of good books on writing. None of them were available in India.
So I told Maharaj, I don’t think I’ll get it. So actually, then Maharaj came to America and from America he couriered books to me all the way to India. So here I realized that, you know, here is a Vaishnava who knows writing’s importance.
Now, if I expect others to recognize writing’s importance, they are not going to realize it. So, now, if writing is very important for me, see, sometimes some activities are important for us, sometimes some people are important for us. So, for people we may change some activities.
We may do something which they consider important. But some activities may be very important for us. So, if writing is very, that’s what I feel inspired to do, that’s how I want to serve Krishna, then I have to find out that circle of people who appreciate writing.
So, similarly, if we find ourselves rejected in some social circles, then we have to find out a social circle which, even within the devotee community, a social circle which who’s thinking, we can get along. The like-minded devotee association. And sometimes it takes time to find that like-minded association.
So, at that time, we need to be patient. But overall, within bhakti, there are different definitions of success. And we need to recognize that if there is a particular community which has a particular definition of success, or a particular social circle, then they may not so much appreciate other definitions of success.
So, if we are living in a particular community, then we have to respect that community definition of success. But if that doesn’t inspire us so much, then we can have other connections. So, where we are able to do something which we feel inspired to do.
See, if I am associating with devotees who are all into, say, fundraising for building a temple. If I am studying scripture, you know, I just studied this acharya, this commentary. People will come and ask me, what is he doing for fundraising? So, I can’t, I don’t have an answer for that.
Not only I don’t have an answer for that, I don’t feel I should be asked this question also. They are coming from a different definition of success. So, I have to associate with devotees who are interested in Shastra study.
Of course, if a certain service is expected of me, I can do it. But I don’t have to, I don’t have to invest my sense of self-worth based on the acceptance by people whose sense of self-worth comes from something entirely different. So, one of the easiest ways to actually give ourselves a sense of insecurity or inferiority is to associate with people whose definition of success is different from ours.
They are doing so much and we feel I am doing nothing. I am doing nothing, I am doing nothing. So, we don’t have to, we have to find a social circle that is compatible with us.
Thank you. So, if someone is working in