What to do if the mind acts on us even before we realize what is happening?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So, sometimes we, the mind acts on us and makes us act even before we realize it. Like we get angry and we snap at someone before we even realize it. So, what can we do at such times? Yes, there are times when the mind’s force is so fast as to be irresistible.
And we may feel helpless at that time. But at the same time, if we look at our own lives, it is not that the mind acts like that constantly. There are, if we consider the way the mind acts us, there are areas in which we can resist the mind.
There are areas in which we may find it difficult to resist the mind. Let’s begin where we can resist. Once we begin that, gradually, we’ll become more alert.
And secondly, sometimes we don’t start fighting a battle because we think of the most difficult phase of the battle that we’re going to fight. But no, the battle can be fought on many fronts and there are some battles which we can win. So, we can look at where our behavior, our conduct is changeable and focus on changing that.
That’s the first point. Second is that specifically with respect to these situations when we snap out at others, we can later observe ourselves and not just look at the specifics of the situation, but try to understand the patterns of that situation. What are the kinds of situations when I really snap out? So, you see, sometimes when it’s that in office, we may not snap at our colleagues.
But at home, we snap at our family members. Why does it happen like that? Actually speaking, you know, our colleagues are maybe important for us. Our family members are more important for us.
But we snap at our family members because we often let our guards down at home. This is home. You see, let our guards down.
When we let our guards down, home is a place where we are meant to be comfortable. We are meant to be at home, as the word says. But still, that does not mean that at home, our inner enemy is not there.
So, usually, sometimes when we have, in office, when we are working with our colleagues, we understand, you know, this is a workplace, I have to have some level of dignity, I have to conduct myself with certain etiquette. So, when we become too informal in a relationship, even with our close members, if we become too informal, then that informality, the formality in a relationship often keeps our guards up. When we become too informal in a relationship, that informality actually puts our guards down.
And then we just burst out, we snap at people. So, now, I am not saying that we have to be formal in all our relationships, but that we have to check what works for us. The one possibility that we, when we lower our guards in our close relationships, then we actually speak and do things which hurt others, and which we regret also ourselves.
So, we have to see how we can conduct so that we do not lower our guards too much. We always have to have some level of alertness, whoever we are working with, whoever we are functioning with. In fact, so, that is the first point.
Another point related, that is the second point. The third point related is that actually we can look at patterns. So, one is with whom I get angry, second is in what situations I get angry, a third is, so, now, that means, okay, you know, when I have four or five things coming up at me at the same time, then I just feel loaded and I burst out.
So, when I know when I get into that situation, so, as soon as I start getting into that situation, that time only I become alert. So, it is like, if I am going on the road, and I have not seen them in Canada till now, but in India or other places, sometimes on the road there are potholes, then if I know on my path there is a pothole, then I prepare in advance, okay, there is a pothole over here, when my car comes here, I will swerve it and not go over the pothole. So, like that, just as we prepare in a physical journey to avoid potholes, knowing when the potholes, we are going to hit the potholes.
So, like that, in our emotional journey also, we can, if we are observant, okay, now this is a situation where I am likely to explode. So, at that time, let me just pull out. Before I engage in some dialogue, before I get, now let me, let me press a pause button.
Let me not do anything right now, let me cool down. So, sometimes it may not be possible to pause like that. But on many occasions, you know, the little inconvenience that we created by pausing, that may save us a lot of trouble which comes because of acting impulsively.
So, if we can broadly observe what are the situations in which I tend to become snappy or angry, then we can try to check ourselves before we get into those situations. And lastly is that, you know, beyond our power is Krishna’s power. So, the more we connect with Krishna, the more we chant the holy names, the more we pray to Krishna, the more we start getting purified by the practice of Krishna Bhakti, then that higher power actually overpowers, overpowers our anarthas, our weaknesses.
So, one is we make conscious efforts to fight against anger. This is also important for us. The other is we invoke the higher power of God.
And if we start practicing bhakti prayerfully, humbly, then actually our anger goes down. Unfortunately, what may happen also is that if sometimes we start practicing bhakti and we are not careful, then our bhakti practice actually, it, it adds to our ego. And then I become judgmental.
Then my bhakti practice actually makes me more angry than what I was earlier. This is wrong. I know philosophically why this is wrong.
Therefore, I am justified in getting angry with you. No, it’s not like that. Yes, I may philosophically be right, but I may be devotionally completely wrong.
You know, philosophy has to be applied in such a way that it helps people to come closer to Krishna. It is not a philosophy that has to be applied anywhere and everywhere and it may alienate people. I told the other day when Krishna, Abhimanyu is killed and Arjuna is crying in grief.
Krishna doesn’t tell Arjuna, hey Arjuna, you forgot the Bhagavad Gita. Remember the Bhagavad Gita and stop crying. He doesn’t speak like that.
He’s sensitive, he’s caring. So, we have to be careful that we don’t become judgmental. But if we practice bhakti in a humble way, knowing that, you know, I have certain anarthas, others have certain anarthas.
Okay, I may not be battling with the kind of situation they are battling with, but I have my own battles. So, rather than thinking that I am superior because I don’t have to, I can easily control what they are not able to control, I can think that, okay, just as I am fighting about something which I am not able to control, for them this is the thing which they are not able to control. So, let me not be judgmental, let not be superior, let me be more mature in my dealings with them.
So, in this way, we can actually, firstly by controlling what we can control with respect to the mind, secondly is trying to find, not let our guard down in our close relationships, in what relations we get angry, by trying to find out what situations we get angry in and it’s like we avoid potholes, we avoid those situations, emotional pressure situations as much as possible. And lastly, connecting with Krishna, invoking His higher power to purify our anarthas, by that we can avoid this impulsive bursts of rage. I’ll just add a few things.
Now, what do we do if our mind gets