How can we weaken our bad desires and strengthen our good desires?
Answer Podcast
Transcript
Disclaimer: This transcript was generated using AI and may contain occasional errors or inaccuracies.
So the mind has both good and bad desires. So how can we focus so that the bad desires don't come and the good desires become stronger? Yes, basically there are two things. One is triggers and the other is choices.
I'll explain what I mean by triggers and choices. All of us have certain triggers for our desires. Let me say if somebody is an alcoholic and they may be a recovering alcoholic, they want to give up alcohol.
But if they are going along and they see a bar which they have frequented earlier, that's a trigger. But it's a trigger, obviously the desire will come. So now sometimes the triggers can come from anywhere.
But quite often we know certain things are triggers for us. So if I know that certain things are my triggers, I minimize my exposure to those triggers. We have to go out of the way.
So for example, if alcoholics are told, I'm working on a book on spirituality and de-addiction. So there is a study a little bit about how alcoholics had to work. If say this is their office, this is their home.
And they are now recovering, they want to give up alcohol. But along the way there is a bar. And they have been going to that bar regularly.
So now actually if they just see that bar, it is they are exposing themselves to a trigger. And they make themselves in a vulnerable position. So they're told if you find that trigger agitates too much, then just put a little bit effort and go from some other way.
Avoid it physically. Like there's alcoholism, there's another form of addiction which is very common. It is called a shopaholism.
Shopaholism means, you know, you just keep shopping. Shop, shop, shop, shop till you drop it. Very times people shop things and then especially people have maybe, what do you call, basements.
You know, they have some places and it's filled with products which they've never used also. And now some people are just compulsive. When they go into a shop, you know this, they go planning to get 10 things and they come out with 50 things.
So now when this happens, some people who are shopaholics, just spend their money unnecessarily on things which they don't need, which they don't actually want also. So then they're told you have to take some practical measures. So for example, if you're going to a shop, where you cannot avoid shopping, you have to shop.
So what they're told is, you know, maybe don't go with your credit card. Just go with cash. So the cash is fine, right? Then what happens, even if you say I want to buy something, I cannot act on it immediately.
Okay, I have to go back home, get a credit card or you have a credit card with a limited balance or whatever. So basically, you know, there are some physical measures that need to be taken. Now, I just gave these two examples.
All of us can find out what is our trigger and try to minimize exposure to that trigger. And then once we do that, that prevents us from getting further agitation. And secondly, is with respect to our choices.
That means, we shouldn't think that just because a desire has come inside me, that means it is my desire or I have to act on that desire. What I mean by this is that, suppose somebody is dieting. They said, okay, I'll not eat this, I'll not eat that.
Now, if somebody else comes and says, I made this sweet, please take this. No, I'm dieting, I won't take. I'll take that.
But you know, when that same desire comes inside, why don't I take this sweet? Nobody is looking. So what has happened? And after they take the sweet, hey, why did I take that? I had planned not to take it. So what has happened? When the same desire, if somebody else proposes, we'll say no.
But the desire comes inside us, we unwittingly think this is my desire. And accept it as our desire and act on it. But if you understand that everything inside me is not me, that means everything inside me is not me.
All the desires that are there inside me, they're not necessarily my desires. For example, say if I am surfing on the net, or I'm reading some article on some website. And quite often, if I'm reading one newspaper, one article on one news site, sometimes some other pop-up will come up.
Or some other links might be there. Now just because that link is there, or it has popped up, that doesn't mean I have to click it and I have to read that. I went to read one particular article, but something might just come up.
And some programs can be designed in such a way that normally, if there is some pop-up which comes up, you have to click on it to go there. But sometimes they make it in such a way that you have to click no to prevent going there. It just pops up and the default setting is yes.
So till now, thankfully, there's no technology like this. But imagine if you're reading an article and there are a dozen links on the site. And suppose there's some technology which could detect where our eyes are.
So as soon as we look at that link, that link opens up. Then we would get lost. We just get endlessly entangled.
So like that, what happens is just because the link is there, doesn't mean I have to click on it. So similarly, just because a desire is there inside me, that doesn't mean I have to act on it. That desire is just like a link.
But if you understand this point, that the mind has some default settings, so by which some desires will come. But even if the desires are coming in the mind, doesn't mean I have to act on it. So one is we avoid the triggers by which the desires don't come into us from outer sources.
And second is even if they come from inside, from some past memories or whatever, then we understand that just because it is inside me, doesn't mean I have to act on it. These are from the point of view of avoiding negative desires. But more important than that is actually cultivating positive desires.
So ultimately, we cannot drive out any desire from our consciousness. I tell you, please don't think of a pink monkey. You may never have thought of a pink monkey, now you'll think of a pink monkey.
So sometimes if you get too caught up with, I will not do this, I will not do this, I will not do this. Just think, I will not do this, I will not do this, I will not do this. The mind is so subtle, at least remove the not from the sentence.
I will do this. So our focus always has to be on the positive, not the negative. And that's why again, with respect to bhakti also same principles apply.
We can find out what are our triggers in bhakti. That means if we find that associating with some devotee inspires us a lot or hearing some devotee's classes really energizes us. All of us can have different triggers.
Some of us may like deity worship. So you may be taking darshan of a particular, very beautiful interest deity. That may trigger devotional desires within us.
Some of us may like to like kirtan. So we hear some Hare Krishna, some bhajan that triggers devotional desires within us. So now these are triggers which we need to consciously expose ourselves to more and more.
The material triggers, we avoid exposing. But the devotional triggers, we consciously choose to expose ourselves. And when we expose ourselves thus, then we will get devotional desires more and more.
And internally, it is good to make some commitments for doing some things. So when I often whenever make commitment, I will not do this. That no commitment is actually, it's painful.
Because whenever we say I will not do this, our mind immediately associates that the deprivation. Hey, I'm not going to get this. But if we make a yes commitment, we do something and we fill our consciousness with that.
Then that yes commitment will enable us to connect with Krishna. That will purify us. So in general, by identifying our triggers, material triggers, avoiding those triggers.
By recognizing that just the desires within the mind are there, I don't have to act on them. They are like leaks. They will appear, but I don't have to click on them.
And by identifying our spiritual triggers, exposing ourselves to those triggers more and more, and internalizing our commitments. This is what I'm going to do. By all this, we can actually transform our consciousness so that it becomes less material and more spiritual.
Thank you. Very interesting.