Do we make our destiny or are we made by our destiny?
Cricket cricket cricket cricket cricket cricket cricket we make our destiny that is also true sorry yes we have free choice actually we can talk about destiny and whether it makes us or we make it by first understanding what the word means and then we will analyse its scope and its influence on us so the word destiny is used quite often in the sense of something that happens to us over which we have very little if any control just like say there is a cricket match going on and a team is in a winning position and they want to win that match if they are to go ahead in the tournament and they are in the winning position but at that time rains come and they are in the winning position but they can't win because the match is abandoned because it rains so then somebody says our destiny was against us I remember long ago one friend showed me a newspaper headline so this is an Indian cricketer he had scored a double century in one day match and he when he was on 150 or something like that this is Virendra Sehwag he is retired now so he said at that time a West Indian batsman who is a very good fielder he dropped him he said when he dropped me I knew destiny was on my side so is it that destiny takes sides on a cricket field what exactly is destiny so basically when he is saying destiny is on my side that means even in sports players know that they have to perform they have to bat well but even when they bat well there are factors beyond their control which also shape the result and that unknown not just unknown that uncontrollable which shapes results for us that is what we call as destiny sometimes we might be going for a very important interview somewhere and the flight itself gets cancelled so we might say destiny was against me sometimes we might say destiny is for me destiny was on my side or destiny was against me so basically we use the word destiny in one sense to refer to the things that are not in our control especially not just say what happens in Afghanistan or what happens in Ukraine but things that are not in our control but things that influence us that is what we refer to as our destiny now this is one sense in which we use the word destiny another sense we use it say some say parents have some child and the child is mathematical genius mathematical whiz kid nowadays children are computer whiz kids or sometimes 7, 8 year old kid they know more about computer than the elderly people many middle aged people who work in software also so now when we say that the parents or the relatives may say this child is destined for greatness now here when we say destined for greatness we are referring to destiny as a future course of events that will happen or say some player might be very talented and then eventually a player becomes a famous player say he fulfilled his destiny that means you know he had certain talents and now he actualised it so we use destiny in one sense to refer to the uncontrollable that shapes us destiny also we refer to the future that we hope or expect will come so now if we talk about are we the makers of our destiny this is the question in the sense that can we shape our future so there are two issues can we shape our future and can we make our future so we can certainly shape our future it is not that the future is entirely predetermined or controlled every single situation that we are in by our choices we shape the future in that sense we shape our destiny when we talk about making something that means we use the word often in the sense that we have full control over it that is not true there are many things beyond our control which influence the result so we can definitely shape our future and in the manifesting of results there are multiple factors involved so we could put this mathematically as an equation karma plus daiva plus kala leads to phala karma is our endeavour, our effort the proper use of our free will that is karma daiva is destiny this is the unknown the things which are beyond our control then kala is time and phala is the fruit so say when man and woman get married and they actually want to have a child so now they get married and they do necessary to have a child that is the karma but sometimes after a lot of efforts parents don't get a child that whether they get a child or not get a child that is daiva and even if they are going to get a child it's not that the parents desire a child and next day they will have a child with them it's going to take 9-10 months, pregnancy period after that kala passes then there will be the phala the child will be born so in every situation that we consider if we consider farming the farmer has to sow the land, has to plough the field, has to sow the seeds plough the land, that is the karma the rains coming on time is daiva the passage of time till the harvesting season comes that is kala and then after that the phala comes so like this in any situation we can see our endeavour plays a part and something beyond our endeavour also plays a part and both our endeavour and the destiny both need to work together for the result to come so now what is in our control? Our karma is in our control so there are some people who adopt the philosophy of fatalism fatalism is the idea that actually nothing is in our control everything is destined and to some extent it is thought that eastern ideologies Indian philosophies, some people say it is fatalistic some people say my destiny is rotten and that's why nothing is happening right so some people just say that everything is just ordained everything is pre-decided and we can't do anything about it now fatalism is the idea that everything is destined and nothing is in our control but if we see that fatalism is not the reality why is it not the reality? Because we can look at it from the experiential perspective, we can look at it from the scriptural perspective if we consider from the scriptural perspective, scripture contains statements do this, don't do this this is the right thing to do, do this this is the wrong thing to do, don't do this so now if we were all controlled and we had no capacity to choose then what is the point of scripture telling do this and don't do this anyway we are programmed like a computer is a machine so if we tell a computer, please don't hang now the computer is just programmed to function in its own way it's going to hang, it's going to hang, if it's not going to hang, it's not going to hang so there is no point in something which is simply mechanically programmed to do something or to not do something because it has no control so if scripture is telling us do this and don't do this, that means we have free will to choose to do this or not to do this, certainly from the scriptural perspective our actions our choices are not determined we do have the freedom to choose and because our choices shape the consequences so in that sense the destiny is not absolute, destiny does not determine everything so for example if by destiny say there is going to be a storm at a particular time when we are driving, that is determined but what we do amidst the storm that is not determined if say just before the storm starts, somebody goes to a bar and drinks a lot and then they are driving normally itself driving under intoxication is dangerous apart from it being legally culpable, but it is dangerous also but if somebody is driving under intoxication when it is a storm the chances of disaster are much higher so now the storm is what of this time but how the storm will affect us that is determined by how we act ok, if a person is drunk they will say, ok I will not drive now or a wise person will choose not to drink not only will they choose not to drink, they will also choose to drive cautiously or if they find the storm becoming too much they find a shelter and stop over there so in this way, the things that happen to us we could differentiate between destiny and free will by saying that what happens to us is destiny how we respond to it is free will so if a student has an exam and student doesn't study and then the student says, I have not studied oh you know, it is my destiny to fail in the exam and it is not your destiny to fail in the exam if you fail that is your irresponsibility actually sometimes you may study very diligently and somehow before the exam you fall sick and you are not able to give exam then that is destiny so what is in our hand is in our hands what is not in our hands we can say that is destiny so one extreme is to think that nothing is in my hands this is an illusion this is called as in Sanskrit, this is called as daivavad daivavad means nothing is in my control daiva is supreme the western way of thinking is the other extreme where it is karmavad everything is in our control if I decide that I want to become the whatever, the next president of America I will become the next president of America if I want to become the person who runs the fastest athlete in the world I will become that if I want to become the next Mozart I will become that you just endeavour and then you will be successful now the reality is that we all have different sets of talents and we can definitely improve our talents by practise by training by determination but still there is a limit there is a limit to how much we all can improve and this does not mean that we should not be ambitious it simply means that we need to be intelligent while being ambitious so by recognising that ok this is a field which I am good at, this is a field which I am not that good at, we can focus our energies where they will be productive the thing that just by my effort I can achieve anything and everything this is often a cause of great mental stress and mental health issues especially if you consider now stress or depression or I see inferiority complex now inferiority complex is actually a very modern malady if you consider even the 17th, 18th century people have lived in this world for millennia and there have always been people who were superior to them but people may not suffer from inferiority complex the way they suffer now one of the important reasons for that is that the modern ethos, modern way of thinking it places the whole responsibility for success in our hands that means if you work hard enough you can succeed and then at one slide it may seem very empowering, whatever you want you can achieve it in your life so much confidence, so much freedom but the flip side of that is that when somebody can't achieve it then that person starts feeling guilty, that person starts feeling like I am worthless so now it may, see failure is an event failure is never a person that means failure is an event that can happen in a person's life but it is not as a person oneself is a failure but when it is taught or people are made to believe that by your endeavour alone you can succeed then if you are not succeeding that means something is wrong with you but it may not be that if something is wrong it may just be that the factors are not favourable destiny is not favourable at that time so it is better that person endeavour in some other field and work in a way where they can become successful so the inferiority complex and many mental health issues are caused when we do not acknowledge the role of destiny that sometimes some things just don't work out why? there is just one chapter in the book of our life that's like if you are reading a novel, some chapters are joyous in that novel, some chapters are scary, some chapters bring us down to tears but just they are chapters and the book is going on, so like that if you understand that there is destiny and destiny may sometimes be unfavourable to us so we don't get mentally hung up in that chapter that chapter came the chapter will get over, let me move on with my life and we may feel that oh destiny is so unfavourable to me, this went wrong, that went wrong, that went wrong yes if we see destiny is unfavourable to us but then destiny is also favourable to us at times if we consider whenever we have succeeded in our life we may say oh how did we succeed I worked so hard because we have succeeded yes you worked hard that is true but along with that there are many other factors which are required for success so if we honestly consider the situation, we will see that ok my hard work played an important role but there are so many other factors, this worked out right that worked out right, that worked out right so actually in the Mahabharata often Karna is considered to be a character against whom destiny was there, he was born in a royal family but then he was considered to be a sootaputra so we may say that oh destiny was so unfavourable to him, but if we see in the long run destiny gives a fair hand to everyone sometimes destiny works out unfavourable sometimes destiny works out favourable, so for him who was just an unheralded person he was not known he came and did the martial exhibition in the most of you know the story of Karna most of you know the story of Karna so I won't go into the story but here he was a person who was not considered to have been born in a royal family he was unknown and then he came to the martial exhibition of Drona just at the right time after Arjuna had exhibited his skills and at that time seeing Arjuna's excellent skills Duryodhana was burning in envy he was feeling actually it's not even envy now there is envy when you feel you can compete with someone it's not that say if we have a you know if if a person is good looking and then they have a neighbour who looks better then you feel envious of that person but if a person looks good but there is a superstar you don't feel envious of that person because they are completely out of the league so actually Duryodhana was envious of Bhima he felt I can get better than him, why is he being praised so much but with Arjuna he was completely out of the league I can never match Arjuna so at that time he was looking for someone as a foil to Arjuna if Karna had come at the martial exhibition sometime earlier then nobody would have paid attention to him but at that time after Arjuna had exhibited his skills Karna came just at that time and said I will exhibit my skills and then when he exhibited his skills at that time Duryodhana felt this is the person that I want so he is coming exactly at that time and Duryodhana being right now in that mood itself I need someone to counter Arjuna and here is Karna that was destiny giving him a favourable hand if you look at our life if you say okay destiny was unfavourable to Karna but then destiny was unfavourable to Pandavas also they were born in a royal family but their father died when they were young and when they came back to the kingdom can you imagine living in a house where you don't know whether the next meal you are going to eat is it poisoned or not so it's horrendous they were living in a house where their cousin was so envious of them and their elders who were meant to protect them, their elders were all silent about it because this is very bad destiny for them so if you consider it is not just Karna who had a bad destiny Pandavas also had a bad destiny Karna also had some good destiny, Pandavas also had some good destiny so if we look at life in the long run we will see that bad things happen to us and good things also happen to us so if we recognise that both these will happen in my life and let me focus on my choices let me focus on my choices so many of you know about this tennis player Arthur Ashe he was a grand slam champion he is almost 20-30 years old so maybe some of you don't know him so he got cancer he is a famous player, he is African American and he got cancer and then some of his fans asked him why did you get cancer was it cancer or was it AIDS you don't know, anyway he got a fatal disease I think it was AIDS through blood transplant he got it so then he got the disease why did this happen to you so he replied that actually thousands literally millions of young people aspire to play tennis at a professional level only thousands among them out of those millions actually become professionals out of those thousands a few hundred actually get to play in the grand slam among the grand slams it's only one who wins the grand slam who wins the championship so when I won the grand slam I did not ask why now I have got this disease why should I ask why so what happens is we blame destiny when things go wrong but when things go right oh I worked so hard that's why I got it yes we work hard but there are other factors also which work in our favour so when we recognise that there is something in my control something beyond my control let me focus on that which is in my control so this capacity to focus on that which is in our control that comes that is increased by the practise of bhakti when we start practising bhakti yoga what essentially happens bhakti is not just coming to temple and chanting some mantras or taking some darshan it's all good but the process of bhakti what it is meant to do is that it changes our capacity to respond so for example if somebody shouts at me and then I shout back at them that is my normal response but if I am practising bhakti then I become purified when I am purified and somebody shouts at me the anger within me says shout back at him but then the intelligence within me also becomes awakened and the anger becomes lesser this shout back at him is only going to make things worse that doesn't mean I let that person trample on me but simply means I have to think what is the best response that I can have see there are different different temptations that tempt us in different ways for example lust may tempt with pleasure wealth or greed tempts with money anger tempts with power when we become angry when anger is coming into us anger tempts us by making us feel I am so powerful I am going to show this person who I am I am going to show this person but actually what happens anger is not a sign of power anger is often a sign of weakness because under the spell of anger we do things which we regret afterwards so anger tempts by making us feel that you are powerful but actually real power is not in expressing anger real power is in processing anger ok I am angry I am angry ok there is something which is a matter of great concern for me because of which I have become angry but how should I respond to this anger this capacity to think clearly this capacity to respond maturely this increases by our practise of bhakti how does it increase by our practise of bhakti in two ways one is Krishna is all pure pavitranam pavitram yo mangalanam cha mangalam because Krishna is all pure so therefore just by contact with him impurities like anger they go down secondly so that's why if we just start chanting Hare Krishna start practising bhakti yoga we will find that this instinctive responses that we have to situations which make things worse so by destiny this person has got done something which is making me angry but do I act on that anger or not that is my choice and when we practise bhakti the anger does not have that much control on us so we can respond more maturely and secondly when we practise bhakti we understand that actually I am meant to serve Krishna this person is behaving in this way ok this person is irritating but my actions are not just meant to be a response to this person my action is meant to serve Krishna so how can I best serve Krishna in this situation sometimes it may be by expressing my feelings sometimes it may be by concealing my feelings sometimes it may be by postponing my feelings and expressing them later in appropriate form, appropriate time but if we see our relationship with that person as ultimately a relationship with Krishna then that vision helps us to see ok this person may be behaving in this way but I don't have to behave at that level I can behave in a more mature way so there is distance between stimulus and response when we are materialistic then there is very little distance, stimulus immediately responds stimulus immediately responds just like a materialistic person sees some nice food item immediately they don't even know when I went in there, I took it, I am eating it I didn't want to eat this, what happened so what happens is we become very controlled by our impulses when we are materialistic but this distance between stimulus and response it increases when we start practising because we understand these impulses are different from me that I am a spiritual being and let me act in a spiritually wise way in a spiritually progressive way thus what happens to us we may not be able to change, that is destiny but how we respond to it that we can change and the practise of bhakti empowers us to choose wisely and therefore we can actually make our destiny we can make our destiny means that certain things are planned in our life certain things are going to happen but how we respond to them that will shape the overall trajectory of our life and we can make that trajectory much more positive by choosing wisely and that capacity to choose wisely is increased by our practise of bhakti so I will summarise as we discussed on the topic of do we make our destiny or are we made by our destiny I discussed two meanings of the word destiny first is does anyone remember shape our destiny that's ok but two meanings of the word destiny things which are going to happen yeah things which are first is that one is that things which are beyond our control and they are going to happen third is the trajectory, second is the trajectory of our future so all of us whether it is sports or real life the results depend on something which is beyond our control so that is destiny and I discussed one equation what was the equation karma daiva ok very good nice karma daiva and two examples I gave off that parents desiring to have a child and farming farming yeah and then I talked about how there are two schools of thought one is that completely everything is destined fatalism, daivavad now how do we know that is wrong because we have free will we know we can choose and scripture also tells us do this and don't do this that would be meaningless if we had no free will and then karmavad is the other extreme what is that everything is in our control and what is the problem with that yeah yeah yeah if if results don't come despite our best efforts then we start thinking that I am useless, I am worthless and we become distressed, we get mental problems so recognising the role of destiny helps us to understand that failure is an event it is not a person so this is sometimes some chapters in the book of our life may be painful but they are just chapters so that is the time when destiny is unfavourable this chapter will be painful but that chapter will end a new chapter is going to begin so we keep moving on with the flow of life when we understand that there is going to be a role of destiny but there is also the role of my free will and destiny is unfavourable in the long run destiny equals out so Karna had some bad destiny by which he was born but abandoned but then he had good destiny that he met Duryodhana at exactly the time when Duryodhana was looking for someone as a foil to Arjuna the Pandavas had good destiny, they were born in a royal family but then they had bad destiny that their father passed away and they were put suddenly in the midst of a family that was out to kill him, kill them so what happens to us we can't change it in many ways it's like a storm is going to come but how we respond do we just drive crazily or do we just stop somewhere that is up to us to choose and this capacity to choose is increased not just let the stimulus determine the response that is increased by our practise of bhakti in two ways one is the forces that make us give an impulsive response like lust, anger, greed they become decreased when we connect with Krishna because he is all pure and that purifies us and secondly, our own intention our own intelligence becomes clear that okay, I am acting in this situation, it's not simply to get this or to do this to that person I am acting to serve Krishna so by that vision of serving Krishna helps us to see things in perspective and respond maturely so by practising bhakti we increase our capacity to respond wisely and that's how we can actually make the best destiny for ourselves thank you very much Hare Krishna so any questions, comments how do you respond so if destiny evens out in the long run does that mean destiny is not important not exactly destiny is important in the sense that I have to acknowledge the reality that okay, if I am good at a particular field and not so good at a particular field I have to acknowledge that reality and then focus on my strengths so destiny is definitely important another thing is in terms of the gifts that we have or the limitations that we have we need to acknowledge them so destiny has its due role and similarly, we also go through different phases in our life again, taking another sports example in tennis, if you consider there are players there are players who serve at some time and then the player who receives and when the player is serving the server has much more freedom where to hit the serve left, right, into the body of the other player on the other hand, the receiver has much lesser freedom because wherever the ball is going to come, that's where the receiver has to respond so now the receiver can't play the way the server is going to play the receiver cannot just choose to swing the bat wherever it is, the receiver has to swing the bat not the bat, the stick where the ball is so like that, sometimes in our life by destiny, we are put in the position of serving and sometimes we are put in the position of receiving so sometimes when the initiative is on us, we have to do things and sometimes things are happening and we just have to choose the wisest response this is the situation I am in right now how do I deal with this situation so at that time we simply have to choose the wisest response to what is happening that's like receiving, sometimes it is that ok, now I have to take the initiative what should I do with this, what should I do so it is important for us to know in which situation I am serving and in which situation I am receiving if we don't recognise this, now this is the situation, when a person is receiving, they are on the defensive so there are some situations in our life when we are on the defensive observe, even defence can be done expertly, intelligently, but recognising that, ok, this is the situation where now I am on the defensive, let me choose what is the best response but there are some times when we have to take initiative, we have to find out, ok how can I grow in my life, what should I do how can I plan, so recognising that destiny puts us in different situations at different times we can act wisely so destiny is important it yearns out in the long run, but it is important for us to acknowledge the way destiny is going so that we can respond appropriately in different situations does that answer your question? so when we get married is the partner destined or we also put a lot of effort in choosing whom to marry so how does it work out see, in practical terms if we start analysing is this karma or is this destiny we will get paralysed we will get completely paralysed if we start thinking like that so what we have to see is let me see what is in my control and let me accept that he is not in my control so to give an example from Shastra for this say Abhimanyu you know the story of Abhimanyu, how Yudhishthir send Abhimanyu to break the Chakra view and then Abhimanyu is trapped over there and Abhimanyu died and afterwards Yudhishthir is a very sensitive, moral principled person so Yudhishthir started feeling you know to save my life to protect my army I had this 16 year old boy slaughtered felt extremely guilty this was all before Arjuna came back, Arjuna took the vow that I will arrange but at that time Yudhishthir was feeling mortified at that time Vyasadev came and told him that you know that grief achieves nothing except to sap the energy of those who indulge in it okay what has happened? Abhimanyu has died a royal death has died a death worthy of a warrior in a heroic way in the war and he has attained an auspicious destination now you focus on doing your deeds and he further says God is in control and he will work out good for everything good out of everything so the point is at this stage Yudhishthir started thinking I made a mistake, I made a mistake he could have become completely crippled by that feeling of remorse or guilt Vyasadev told him its happened don't grieve it now, move forward in your life so the thing is that in practical terms we have to focus on what is in our control so we shouldn't think that oh because my life partner is extinct so I don't have to do anything maybe I will see someone and as soon as I see a current of electricity will flow through me and I will know this is the one for me no, that may happen to some people but ultimately people call it love at first sight its possible some people may get some attraction when they see each other for the first time but the stability of the relationship depends not just on whether there is love at first sight, it depends on what is there after many sights so we have to use our intelligence so sometimes some things may happen by destiny we may be in a particular situation, we may meet someone and then we may feel oh we were destined to be together well, we were destined to be together but is it so that you can grow together or is it that something else is happening we can't just assume things we have been given intelligence and we are meant to use our intelligence so we should put in our effort to select wisely to think properly, to select wisely at the same time we should know that there is some amount of destiny involved also so once we start second guessing everything in our life now was this destiny, was this my choice we will paralyse ourselves especially in the heat of the moment we should not think like this maybe later on when we are calm we can look back, this decision I took a little hastily I should have done it somewhat differently but then otherwise we say in this circumstances this seemed to be the most logical thing, I didn't know so many other things were involved over there so in practical terms we really, in practical terms, in philosophical terms is one thing but in practical terms if I get a stomach upset was it because of my destiny or was it because I ate something wrong if I have eaten something wrong then I can't believe destiny if sometimes you may eat right and still the stomach may get upset then you can say it's destiny so if I eat wrong and then say it's because of destiny then it's not destiny, it's stupidity so we have to do our part well so rather than worrying about whether a particular partner is destined or there is we don't get into that, in practical terms we focus on what is in our control and we do that which is in our control properly, so we choose wisely and after choosing wisely then whatever happens to us sometimes we find a very compatible partner sometimes we find a partner not all that compatible so we understand that that is destiny but destiny is the concept of destiny is meant to help us accept that which is not in our control the concept of destiny should not be used to abandon responsibility to abandon doing that which is in our control does I answer your question? ok, thank you yes Nathani correct, so basically we are saying that each individual has different intelligence and the perfect intelligence is Krishna, so just because we don't have the right choice, we didn't make the right choice, let's not repent because of not having good intelligence, so you have the intelligence to get into this path at an early age and we didn't have and we chose a different path getting into the material life or having the rest of that so basically is it because Krishna gives different intelligence, different intelligence based on our karma, that is what we have got this ok, so we all choose based on our intelligence, but then some people take to spiritual life early, some people take to spiritual life later so is it that Krishna gives different people different intelligence based on their destiny, based on their karma and that's how it works out yes when you talk about intelligence we all have different levels of intelligence, some people can remember so brilliantly some people can't remember what they remember I memorised something, what did I memorise that also they don't remember so we all have different memories like that, so this is memory is one function of intelligence so we do have different levels of intelligence but again what we have is not as important as what we do with what we have some people may have just brilliant memory and they may use it to manipulate things, manipulate people brilliant intelligence, they may use it for that purpose so important thing is what we do with what we have so with respect to now, this is in general with respect to intelligence, specifically with respect to spiritual life you have to know that we have our free will and there is also, we are also going through different stages in our own spiritual evolution so at some points we are ready, some points we may not be ready so yes it would be nice if we could have been introduced to bhakti earlier but whenever we have been introduced now from onwards let me take it forwards so why some people are introduced earlier, some people are introduced later it could be both they are more intelligent, it could also be that they may have done some some spiritual activity in their previous life because of which they are attracted to bhakti, it could also be simply the mercy of devotees the devotees came to them and presented them the opportunity and they took the opportunity so when devotees came to us and gave us the opportunity we took the opportunity so Shri Prabhupada says that now for a person to receive the opportunity for bhakti, that is fortune for the person to take the opportunity for bhakti that is intelligence it's ok so for the person to take the opportunity is intelligence so sometimes if we did not get the opportunity only then we can't say that we are not intelligent, so we have to see if we got the opportunity we take it and we move on in our life and Krishna is so expert that whatever situation we are in, we can always practise bhakti and move closer to him we may not be able to do the same kinds of services in all situations but the principle of serving Krishna principle of connecting with Krishna is something which we can do in whatever situation we are and we can move towards thank you yes we had a question I don't know what is the situation I mean we might move out of the situation but why we stay away from the other now we are not letting go of the situation rather than trying to treat the situation as an opportunity for us to go to Krishna ok good point so if we are in a troublesome situation then is moving away from that situation not like running away isn't it better that we see that situation as a stimulus, as an opportunity for learning, improving for growing spiritually yes definitely every situation is an opportunity to learn and grow specifically how we learn and grow that is not stereotyped basically if we are having a troublesome situation, there are three broad alternatives to it, one is change the situation second is change ourselves third is walk away from the situation it is not necessary that only one of these situations is the best, course for spiritual growth you see the Pandavas they adopted all these three at different times initially when the Kauravas were persecuting them, they tried to poison Bhima, they tried to burn them in Valnavarth Pandavas simply tolerated themselves Yudhishthira told them don't complain about this, don't publicise this don't provoke them unnecessarily they just tried to change themselves, tolerate it but then when they tried to destroy Draupadi then a particular line was crossed then the Pandavas took assertive action, they fought so they did not just change themselves they changed the situation at that time and eventually when Krishna departed from the world they said enough now, they also left so they walked away from the situation so the point is in all situations in different situations they acted different and in all the situations they are devotees they are choosing things which help them to grow so in general we should not run away from situations there is a difference between walking away and running away running away means we are so fearful of the situation I just want to get out of here, I don't care where I go that is running away from the situation but walking away from the situation means I have better things to do in my life I have more important things to do in my life and I don't want to waste my life fighting the situation so with that understanding because I have something more important to do suppose say we are driving a car and then somebody cuts across us and then we get angry and we try to speak something to the person that person shouts back at us now we may feel, I am not wrong you are wrong now we may say I will go to a cop and I will tell that person and get this person but if we are going for some important meeting just forget this so we may just leave that situation sometimes we may walk away from a situation because we have something more important to do with our time and energy so when I talked about when we are in a provocative situation to move away from it I was talking more in terms of at that moment to choose a wise response so if say if we have got into a shouting match with someone, that person is shouting we are shouting, that person is shouting now usually shouting matches never lead to any solution it's only both people that throat get exhausted but internally they are still shouting at each other so it's best to move away from the situation at that time or whatever it is whatever it is that is our provocation we move away so that we can think and choose, respond wisely so usually when we are in rajoguna or tamoguna, when we are angry or when we are irritated or when we are passionate, whatever it is when we are in the lower modes we can't choose wisely so moving away from that situation helps us to create some distance it gives us better perspective we can come to the mode of goodness and then can choose a proper response in general actions done in the heat of the moment, actions done in passion in a rush of passion they are often counterproductive so it's good to in that situation just press a pause button not yes, not no just pause and after pausing then I think what should I do? what should I do? and we can respond you know if I get angry with someone I may just express my anger and say that person is far away, I am writing an email to them but then I try that if there are any strong words in that email, I will not send that email for 24 hours at least and next day when I read that email, hey you know what is there to get so worked up about? or I may you know this makes sense but maybe I just make this word a little less judgemental so I may either send that mail unchanged which usually doesn't happen, I change a few things at least or sometimes I may decide I just not send this email not that I succeed sometimes I still get angry and I speak angrily also but the thing is I have found that a lot of trouble is avoided just by pause, so when I was talking about moving away from the situation, it is not running away, it is just pausing so that we can become more peaceful think more clearly and respond appropriately Hare Krishna Hare Krishna yes and at the last moment you said Hare Krishna so why did you say Hare Krishna and not Hare Krishna was it destiny or it is so why did Krishna choose to save Parikshit but he chose not to save Abhimanyu was it destiny if you see that way When Parikshit was cursed to die in 7 days, you could say Krishna chose not to save Parikshit at that time, isn't it? The point is that the scripture gives us a picture of the totality of reality.
That means, scripture tells us of incidents when God intervenes and miraculously saves his devotees. And scripture also tells us of incidents when apparently God doesn't intervene. And disaster strikes.
So, in the same Mahabharata if we see, on the 13th day Abhimanyu is killed, on the 14th day when Arjuna is about to die, at that time Krishna intervenes. Arjuna is about to immolate himself. Krishna intervenes and covers the sun.
Krishna could have done the same thing the previous day only and saved Abhimanyu. This whole thing would not have happened. But no.
The thing is, in this world, sometimes God intervenes and protects in a way that we can see. And sometimes God's ways are some ways that we don't understand. But in either situation, the devotees take shelter of Krishna.
So, Vyasadev tells Yudhishthir when Abhimanyu is killed, he says that actually Abhimanyu has attained the destination that is your aspiration. That is the aspiration of everyone. So, he says he has gone beyond this world of temptation and illusion.
Why do we need to lament for that? He has attained an auspicious destination. We need to work so that we attain a similar destination. The spiritual perspective is often different from the materialistic perspective.
So, Krishna always protects. But the way he protects will vary. And what his plan is, we can't know in advance.
So, we could say it is destiny. Now, we could also say it is Krishna's plan directly. Destiny basically means that it's our own karma coming upon us in some way.
Krishna's plan means Krishna himself has some plan over there. So, basically, when we practise bhakti, we can know for sure that if we take shelter of Krishna, Krishna will protect us from… Krishna will protect our consciousness. Now, sometimes we may get into a terrible, terrible situation, terrible health issue or whatever it is.
If we take shelter of Krishna, the body may be in pain, but our consciousness will be sheltered if we are absorbing ourselves in Krishna. The body's pain, the body whatever it is going through, that will anyway be there. Okay, if Krishna intervenes miraculously and protects us from some bodily disease in youth, but eventually, by the nature's course itself, the body is going to grow old, it is going to get deceased and it is going to die.
So, as devotees, we don't focus on Krishna's protection at the material level. Naturally, the material level is important for us and if Krishna protects us at the material level, that's wonderful. But we don't base our relationship with Krishna on His protection at the material level.
That means if Krishna protects me, oh, God is so good. And if Krishna doesn't protect me at the material level, God doesn't exist only. It's not like that.
As devotees, we understand that Krishna's primary protection is that He will always protect our consciousness. That means, the world may give misery, but if we take shelter of Krishna, we will be sheltered from that misery. So, we don't have to go into worrying too much about whether Krishna will protect or not.
We focus on whether I am trying to practise bhakti, whether I am trying to absorb my consciousness in Krishna. If I am doing that, then the absorption in Krishna is itself the ultimate protection. Does that answer your question? Any other questions? What is the role of friends around us, people around us? When is that as a resource useful or when is it not useful? Actually, we are social creatures.
That means we live in a social circle and we are influenced by the social circle around us. Now, how exactly that social circle will influence us, that depends on what kind of social circle it is. So, if we have devotee association and not just devotee association, even within devotee association also, we may find some devotees are very negative, some are very critical, some devotees are more positive, more encouraging.
So, we have to know that I want to go closer towards Krishna. And in my attempt to go closer towards Krishna, those who help me in that, that association is favourable. Those who discourage me in that, that association is unfavourable.
So, anukulya se sankalpa, pratikulya se varjuna. The characteristic of sharanagati is that we accept that which is favourable and we avoid that which is unfavourable. So, based on, in association also, rather than just stereotyping a social circle, we can find out within social circle, those people who encourages, those who influence on our bhakti is positive.
And we take their guidance, we take their inputs, and based on that we make decisions. So, sometimes, many times actually, getting a perspective of somebody else on that situation is very helpful. Because we are seeing things from our limited perspective.
And we are often too emotionally invested in a particular issue to see it properly. And somebody who is not so emotionally caught up in that situation, they may see certain things, hey, I didn't think about that at all. I can do this also.
I can act in this way. So, definitely, association is, if good association can help us to discover choices which we didn't know we had also. And then we can act on those choices which will turn out to be much better than what we would have thought earlier.
So, the good association basically helps us to get out of our mind. Because our mind is just saying this, this is like this, this is like this, this person is like this, this is like that. But then good association helps us to see, actually, this is the situation, this is the mind and I am here.
We are able to see the mind also, we are able to see the situation also, we are able to see ourselves. And then we can act more wisely. Does that answer your question? Yes, okay, yeah.
So, if our past karma is coming as destiny, which we have to either suffer or enjoy, and what about our present karma? Is that also going to contribute to destiny? Or how does it work out? Yes, definitely. We can consider a water tank. In that water tank, say there is one pipe from which water is going inside.
There is another tap, outlet from which water is coming out. So like that, the full water tank is what is called as, in Sanskrit as Sanchit Karma. It is the accumulated karmic total which we have.
And the input, the inlet for that water tank is our present karma. It is often called as the Kriyamanakarma, the karma which we are doing right now. That is adding to the karmic water tank.
And then water is flowing out. That is the Prarabdha Karma. Prarabdha Karma is the karma that is coming to us.
So, without getting into, this is a whole seminar which I have on these different kinds of karma, but without getting into technicalities of the terms, the principle is that there is a karmic stockpile, and some of the karma is coming out upon us, and the karma that we are doing is going inside. But things are not that simple. Because as I said, the way we act also influences what happens to us.
So, the specific correlation is complex. But the principle is that we do what we choose now also has influence. And by making wise choices now, we can create a brighter future for ourselves.
By choosing wisely, we can even minimise the bad that is going to happen to us. Previous karma also. See, when you talk about destiny, you should not think of destiny as frozen.
Destiny is also dynamic. That means, again giving the example of, say, by destiny we are caught in a storm. But how we respond in the storm is up to us.
And based on how we respond, how much we suffer in that storm will be determined. So, destiny, so based on our past karma, we get certain situations. But how much we suffer in those situations, if those situations are bad, how much we suffer in those situations depends on how we respond now.
So, for example, say, by my past karma I have a weak digestive system. But if I am cautious about what I eat, then I won't suffer so much. But if I am careless, if I am reckless, then I will suffer much more.
So, we don't have to worry too much about what is there in my karmic destiny and what is going to happen. Just focus on the fact that I have the capacity to choose now and by my choosing wisely, whatever is my future, I can create a brighter future for myself. Does that answer your question? Great.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
So, if parents have two children and one of them is good at studies, the other is not so good. So, is it the destiny, is it the karma of the parents or what is it? See, both play a role over here. That means… Yeah, both of them.
See, how it is that we live in an interrelated world. And in that interrelated world, our karma and others' karma, all that intersects. So, that means, say, if, say, we have a very troublesome neighbour.
Now, that means that by our past karma, we are meant to have that neighbour. We have somebody who will trouble us. So, we chose a house over there and then that person happened to be there and that person troubles us.
So, now, at one level, that person is choosing to act wrongly, choosing to irritate us. Now, if they are unnecessarily troubling us, then they are also getting bad karma because of that. But it is that we are being troubled right now.
Now, it could also be that now they have an irritating disposition and they act on that irritating disposition and irritate us. So, there, by their destiny, by their past karma, they have an irritating disposition. But they can control it.
They don't control it, they act irritatingly. And then that troubles us. So, now, that person is over there is actually their karma and our karma both.
It's interpenetrating over there. So, like that, if a child is intelligent, that means that soul has done some good karma by which that soul is meant to be intelligent. And the parents have done some good karma by which they are meant to have an intelligent child.
And those two karmas intersect over there. And similarly, if a child is not so intelligent, then that child has done some karma by which the child has a mediocre intelligence. And the parents also have some karma by which they have got a child with mediocre intelligence.
But the important thing is in spite of this, whatever the child has, whatever capacity, whatever resources the child has, see, if the parents offer loving support, encouragement, the child can grow from there also. And it's not necessary that everybody has to have the same kind of intelligence. See, when people are born in this world, some people may be more richly endowed in things.
Others may be less endowed. But everybody has some endowments. So, rather than the parents feeling that oh, it's my destiny that I got a less intelligent child, we can think that it is my responsibility to help this child discover what he or she has.
So, everybody has some talents. It's not that a second child who is less intelligent, parents should think, if only I had a second child who was like the first child, it would be so nice. No.
You know, God has made all of us unique. And all of us can contribute in our own ways. You know, if God, what to speak of our children, if we think of ourselves, you know, we may think, if only I had been like that person, it would be so nice.
But no. If God had wanted us to be someone else, He would have made someone else. But He has made us.
So, what our focus should be is not that I have to become someone else. I have to become the best me. Whatever I am, I want to become the best me.
So, rather than thinking, oh, why I got a child like this, if only this child had been like that, we can focus on that okay, this child's talents are easy to discover. And I can help this child's talents to grow. But this child, I have to put more thought, more intelligence.
I have to, I have greater opportunity to serve this child. And as a parent, a parent's duty is to serve the child. Help the child grow.
So, I am putting more effort, more intelligence in that. And that way I am doing more service. And if I have this understanding that it's by God's plan, by Krishna's arrangement that this is happening, then we can see even helping a less endowed child to grow as a form of service to Krishna.
By Krishna's plan, this child is there. And I am not just serving, I am serving this child and I am also serving Krishna by serving this child. That way, we can help that child also to discover whatever potential they have and develop those.
Okay. Thank you. Jai Krishna.
Yes, please. So, what did you mention in the equation where it's like karma plus life plus star equal to colour. So, karma is what we are doing, let's say, for achieving something.
Deva, we say, it's the karma from our past actions. Maybe past lives or maybe present karma. But Deva is also based on what we have done, either in this life or in past life.
And colour, the time is perfect. So, in this equation, where does Krishna come into picture? Because karma is what we say we are doing now. Deva is what we say we have done earlier.
And colour is time. So, does Krishna come into picture when he provides positive impact to Deva Good question. So, in the equation karma, Deva and colour lead to colour.
What is the role of Krishna? So, Krishna is there everywhere. It's like Krishna is the person who sets up this whole system of causal connection. And see, when we say that, okay, say, say, a woman cooks some food very nicely.
And if she is a devotee, if they have praise for cooking, it is Krishna's mercy. Now, if you look at the list of ingredients, Krishna's mercy is not one of the ingredients, isn't it? The ingredients, you put sugar, you put milk, you put rice, whatever. But we understand, Krishna's mercy is there underlying everything.
It's not a, it's not a material ingredient over there. So, like that, when we talk about karma, Deva, colour, it leads to colour, this is a material causal chain. And Krishna can intervene at any level.
So, when you say, oh, the food came out very nicely, that is Krishna's mercy. What does that mean? Could say Krishna gave me the intelligence to put the things properly. Or Krishna made the arrangement by which all the things which are necessary were available.
So, Krishna's intelligence can come in in any way. So, when Krishna, Krishna's mercy can come in any way, Krishna's mercy can come in any way. So, with respect to this particular unfolding, we have to understand that our own karma, we can do it better when we are surrendered to Krishna.
Because as I said, the practise of bhakti helps us to control our impulses that we don't, we don't react impulsively, rather we respond intelligently. Similarly, Deva is the stockpile of our karma. But Deva also, how it comes upon us, that is not determined.
So, Krishna is so expert that he can bring good even out of the bad. Something bad may happen, but Krishna by his plan can bring something good out of it. And so Deva is something which is again not, it's fixed in the sense that okay, we have done this karma, we are going to get the reaction.
But a lot depends on which reaction happens at what time. It's like, you know, in cricket they say that, you know, ultimately all batsmen, everybody gets some good, you may be out and the umpire gives you not out. And you are not out and the umpire gives you out.
So you may say, luck evens things out. But you know, it may not always work out practically like that. If you get out when there is a whole team waiting and a lot of batsmen are there afterwards, it doesn't matter.
But if you get out in the last over when just a few balls are remaining, that may have much more consequence. So the point is that actually Krishna, when we become devoted to him, our own daiva, our own destiny which comes upon us, Krishna arranges in such a way that it is favourable for our spiritual growth. Also, Krishna can also remove karma.
Just like, ultimately, the purpose of karma is not punishment. The karma, the purpose of karma is reformation. Just like, in a court, a judge may sentence a particular criminal who is going to be 10 years in jail.
But, if that criminal behaves well in jail, the sentence may be reduced from 10 years to 5 years. It may be reduced to 3 years also, depending on how the person is conducting himself. The point is not to put this person in jail.
The point is to reform the person. So like that, if a devotee is practising bhakti diligently, Krishna can actually remove the karma also, or substantially reduce the karma. And, so, Krishna can, Krishna helps us in karma in terms of helping us to make right choices.
Krishna can adjust the daiva so that it comes to us in a way that helps us grow or he can minimise it also. And with respect to Kala, for a devotee, we understand that actually time is also a manifestation of God. So that means, even when a devotee is going through some bad period, so there is a, there is a, when we are practising bhakti, the practise of bhakti, it helps us to see things from the perspective of eternity.
Okay, from the perspective of eternity, okay, I am going through some trouble right now, but, okay, I don't have to get so worked up about it. Suppose, you know, if we are coming by a flight, and then our neighbour is a very noisy person. On the flight, the neighbour is a noisy person, it's irritating.
But we understand it's a 2 hour, 3 hour flight, we don't need to make a big hue and cry about it. So when we see from the long term perspective, 2-3 hours, I can manage it. If we can't change it, we can manage it.
If we can change the seat, that's fine, but if we can't, we'll manage it. So like that, when we are practising bhakti, we start seeing, okay, I did this work, but I am not getting any result. If we are perceiving from the short term materialistic perspective, say, no, I did so much work, why is nothing working out? But from the spiritual perspective, we'll see, okay, it didn't work out.
Ultimately, it will work out. Let me be patient. So in this way, Krishna can work out in karma, daiva, and kala for the benefit of the devotee.
Thank you very much. Shall we stop here? Oh, okay. Last question? Okay, sure.
Can we have one question more? Actually, we can stop now, it is too late. Okay, yeah. This thing can be failed, it can be unfailed, we only have to focus on the choices.
Right. So what does it mean to take shelter of Krishna when we are taking choices? And how do we ensure that we have taken shelter of Krishna? Okay. So what does it mean to take shelter of Krishna when we have to make choices? And how can we know that we are taking shelter of Krishna? Yes, The process of taking shelter or Sharanagati, which is talked about, it has six elements.
The Puranas describe it. Bhaktivinoda Thakur, one of our Acharyas, elaborates it. He says that six elements are Anukulyasa Sankalpa, Prathikulyasa Sivajanam.
Except that which is favourable, reject that which is unfavourable. Then it talks about four more dispositions. Have faith that Krishna will always protect me.
Understand that even now Krishna is maintaining me. Without him I cannot live. He is my maintainer.
Krishna, my whole life and soul is for you. Krishna, without you I am nothing. These six elements are the elements of surrender.
Now if you see the last four among these, Krishna, you are my protector, you are my maintainer, these are dispositions. They will take some time to come. But what is practical is Anukulyasa Sankalpa, Prathikulyasa Sivajanam.
These are actions. Choose that which is favourable, accept that which is favourable, avoid that which is unfavourable. So in general, when we have to make a choice, with respect to our practical dealings, for us taking shelter of Krishna would mean that doing that which takes us closer to Krishna.
So if I have to make a career decision, if I have to make a relationship decision, then first thing I can do is, I can do devotional activities which take me closer to Krishna. And then by that connection with Krishna, I will be calmer. I will be more focused.
I will have better perspective. And then with that inner, basically it is not that Krishna wants to guide us. It is not that Krishna wants to keep his guidance confused, difficult to get.
It is said, Dadami buddhi yogam tam yena mam upayantre. Krishna says, I will give you the intelligence by which you can come to me. So Krishna just wants to see whether we want his guidance or not.
So if we, before making a decision, do those activities which help us go closer to Krishna, pray to Krishna, study scripture, associate with and take guidance from devotees, and then based on that, with our God-given intelligence, we take a decision. That decision will be a decision which will be under the shelter of Krishna. So the process of bhakti is what, within that, whichever limbs we know help us go closer to Krishna, we embrace those limbs and then take a decision.
Does that answer your question? So, shall we stop here? Thank you very much.