How can we control our emotions?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So how can a person control one’s emotions? Two things. First is that, actually, if we have a purpose that is higher than our emotions, something is really important. See, we are basically driven by emotions.
We can’t just get rid of emotions. But what we can do is, if we have a higher emotion, then we can control a lower emotion. Sometimes, say, if I am studying and somebody is disturbing me or somebody is talking over here, somebody is doing over there, something, I just can’t study at that time.
But if after one hour I have an exam, and then I just study. If somebody is talking here, I will still be absorbed. I will do something at that time.
If I can’t go to some other place, maybe I will put some earplugs, I will cover my ears. I will do something by which I will focus. So what happens? If something is important for us, that awareness of the importance of that thing helps us to put other things in perspective.
So when you talk about controlling emotions, it is not so much like repressing emotions, but it’s more of seeing emotions in perspective. This is more important, this is less important. And I will ensure that I don’t let the less important thing distract me from the more important thing.
It is said that if we let everything that happens matter, then we don’t let what matters happen. If we let everything that happens matter, that happened over there, that happened over there. If we let everything like that occupy our mind, then we don’t let what matters happen.
Because whatever matters, we have to invest, we have to focus. So we are periodically reminding ourselves of what is truly important in our life. We can have that awareness of priority.
This is more important. Therefore, this emotion is interfering with this, so I am not doing this. So basically, we study scripture and we develop our intelligence, then we become aware.
What is more important, what is less important. That’s the first thing. If we have to control emotions, we need to be aware, our intelligence needs to be sharp and needs to be aware of the relative importance of various things.
Just like say if I am going for an important meeting, and along the way somebody comes and cuts my car. Now I can get angry and I can shout at that person, I’ll take you to the police, I’ll punish you, I’ll do this, I’ll do that. But in the process I may be late for the meeting, I’ll miss the meeting.
This doesn’t matter for me. It’s not that important. This is not a battle I will fight.
I have bigger things to do in my life. So if we have that awareness of bigger things in our life, then smaller things won’t make us so emotional. That’s the first thing.
Second thing is that if we know that certain things trigger our emotions, then we need to prepare in advance. With this person, just like suppose, I don’t think it is there in America, but in India some places we have bumpy roads, or we have roads with potholes. So now if we know in advance, this area there is a road with potholes, and we are driving at that instant we are cautious.
We will be watchful, we will make sure that we are not going to bump into potholes. So sometimes we have to be careful. So when I know that there is a pothole over the road, I’ll be careful.
So like that, if we observe ourselves, we can come to know situations in which we get provoked. Situations when our emotions go wild. So when we come to that situation itself, we become more cautious.
And sometimes we just pull out of the situation. So that means, if I know I am now coming to my breakdown point, then it is best to withdraw from that situation. Now withdraw means, not run away, just press a pause button.
And now look back. If a conversation is becoming too heated, just stop that conversation at that time. Later on when you calm down, we’ll talk about that.
So basically, I’m just giving some examples, but the principle is, if we know our emotional trigger points, then we can plan how to deal with it. So what is the emotional trigger point for me, will be different from what is the emotional trigger point for you. So whatever it is for us, we know in advance, we plan and prepare how to deal with it.
When we do it that way, we can substantially minimize the problem. And what we need to do at that time, is that we need to have some redirector for our emotions. For example, if I’m getting angry, at that time, I can have some prayer which I chant, some mantra that I chant, some words which I recite, some picture of Krishna that I have.
Something which can direct our emotions positively. Something which can, my emotions are getting carried away in this direction, so let me direct them in this direction. I can have some spiritual music, which just makes me feel calm, which makes me feel good.
By that, when we redirect our emotions, then the emotions can take control of us. And that means, we can, so firstly by intelligence, we know what are the important things and then we don’t let emotions or small things interfere with the important things. And secondly, when we know our trigger points, we are cautious in dealing with them and we plan how we could redirect our emotions towards something else at that time.
That way, we can act intelligently instead of emotionally. Any other questions?