How can we prevent or correct misunderstandings among devotees?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
One question among devotees is how do we ensure that we don’t misunderstand others? Or if we misunderstand, how can we come back to understanding soon? Actually, our bhakti is meant to make us more understanding. But unfortunately, understanding of others, but sometimes our bhakti makes us more judgmental about others. Because what happens, we have our own conception.
This is right, this is the way to do things. If anybody is doing anything in a different way, it’s wrong, wrong, deviant, this, that, that. We are very quick to pass ascribed labels to others based on our conception of potential.
So, actually, if we internalize the philosophy adequately, not just at the intellectual level, but also at an emotional level, that means, not just, this is the principle, this is the principle, but we also understand the real reality of the complexity of life. Then we’ll understand that there can be many factors involved. Okay, this person is acting in this particular way.
How much do I know? How much do I know about this person? So, it can be something, it can start from something very simple to something very big. So, I remember once I was in Mumbai temple and there was a festival. So, after the festival I came for came for lunch prasad to the temple kitchen.
And then I had come a little late, I was talking with some devotees after the program. So, by the time I came down, I saw much of the prasad was over. The sweet was over.
So, I felt a little lonely. And I saw a senior devotee sitting on the opposite side and he’s a senior dharmacharya. He, there was already sweet in his plate and the sweet had got over.
So, then, immediately, after I sat down, these devotees started asking, you know, is there any sweet? Is there any sweet? Asking one sarovar, I said, no problem, the sweet is over. He asked another sarovar, is there any sweet? I said, you know, what is this? He already had one empty bowl of sweet. And the sarovar has told you there is no more sweet available.
Why are you asking everyone like this? The second person, third person, asking everyone because he was a senior devotee. And everybody started running around, is there any sweet somewhere? And many times when prasadams we serve, so, the devotees who are serving, they make their own plates beforehand. They keep them aside.
So, one devotee finally brought his own plate and from his plate he started serving sweet. I was thinking, how attached! You already had one empty and you want somebody else’s plate sweet for yourself. And just as he was about to serve the sweet in his plate, he said, no, not for me, for him.
And he pointed to me. He pointed, if you did not get sweet, please give him sweet. So, he was asking for sweet, not for himself, but for me.
And normally when somebody asks for sweet, it’s actually because they want it for themselves. So, in one sense, my attribution is perfectly logical. That was totally wrong.
So, we just can’t know why devotees are doing this. Vaishnavera Priyamundra Vigyana Bhuja. We can’t understand how devotees are doing.
This does not mean that anything and everything within the devotee community is accepted. But it’s important that we don’t judge based on one of the instances. And so, by knowing that, by knowing that we don’t know much about others.
We don’t know much about what people are thinking, why they are acting in particular ways. It’s best to give people benefit and comfort. Especially devotees.
If they are practicing bhakti, if they are practicing the principles, if they are devoting a substantial part of their lives for Krishna’s service, then something is going wrong. Why should we make a big issue out of it? Now, having said that, there can be certain actions of some people which just disturb us too much. Now, if we feel disturbed, then it is best to seek clarification.
If it’s just a small thing, we know this, sometimes we see something, question mark is there. But then afterwards, we move on, we forget that. No need to make an issue about it.
But something troubles us again. Why did you do that? Why should you do that? If that kind of question keeps troubling her, then better to seek clarification. And when you seek a clarification also, it’s important to be non-judgmental.
Non-judgmental means, simply describe the observation. As soon as we start stating our influence, then it becomes judgmental. So, if you just tell the observation, then it’s equal to non-judgmental.
I couldn’t understand what was happening over there. And then, probably they will give a clarification, some single devotee will give a clarification. And even if sometimes that clarification may not satisfy us.
So, especially if that devotee has also been practicing bhakti for a good amount of time, they have also been serving Krishna, then we have to understand that there are different ways in which Krishna can serve. And Krishna can inspire someone to serve in a way that is very different from the way Krishna is inspiring me to serve. So, we should not limit the service to Krishna in terms that is only comprehensible to us.
So, service to Krishna can assume many, many forms different from what I am competent with, what I am capable of. So, that way, even if we can see that, okay, this is one thing which I don’t understand, but let me put it aside. Let me focus on my service to Krishna.
That way we can minimize the disagreements that come, or the misunderstandings that come. I feel that if we clarify, most of the time we get some understanding. And the misunderstandings then decrease.
What makes things worse is that instead of seeking clarification, we start giving a judgment. Then the other person becomes defensive. Or sometimes we talk with ten people before talking with that person.
And those ten people have already told that person, this person is thinking like this or that. And then when we talk with them also, already there is a lot of negativity that is coming with it. And then it becomes explicit.
So, best is to seek clarification in a non-judgmental way. Right in the beginning, from an authoritative source. And if you find Francis Sr. Vaishnava whose way of explaining makes sense to us, please go and seek clarification.
And move on with clarifying. You know, we don’t have to, you know, we don’t have to make ourselves self-appointed watchdogs of everyone else. That’s not our role.
We are here to serve Krishna. Let’s keep serving Krishna. And if something is wrong with someone, that is between them and Krishna.
We don’t have to take that position where we have to judge ourselves. Most important, I would say, for avoiding misunderstandings is focusing on our own service. It’s the ideal mind that there is virtue.
So, when we don’t have enough service to do, then we start looking at other services and find a cause for it. If we have enough service to do, whatever others are doing, how does it matter to them? Let me focus on my service to Krishna. Does that answer your question? Thank you.