How can we give up undesirable habits that we keep relapsing into?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
We started practicing bhakti and we know something, some habit is harmful, we want to give it up, but we are still relapsing into it.
How can we give it up? The whole point of our consciousness is that we have to be conscious. The very nature of consciousness, it has to be conscious. And consciousness, a natural feature of being conscious is being desirous.
When we see something, we like it, we desire it. So desire is a natural function of consciousness. And whenever we are told, don’t do this, that negativity creates a sense of deprivation in us.
Why can’t I do it? I’ll do something by not doing it. So as long as we are thinking primarily of giving up something, even if it’s a bad habit, when we are thinking about giving up, we are playing into the mind’s narrative of giving up as deprivation. And as long as we think I’m going to be deprived when I give up, we’ll resent giving up, we’ll relapse into that whenever we get the opportunity.
The process of bhakti yoga is not about giving up, it is about taking up. When we take up the activities of bhakti, bhakti is actually the path of spiritualizing our desires. We cultivate spiritual desires by associating with spiritually minded people.
And by that association, when our consciousness becomes filled with spiritual desires, then the material desires, whatever it is that we want to give up, they will be crowded out of our consciousness. Now if we try to empty our consciousness of a particular thing, it will just not work. It is extremely difficult to empty our consciousness.
This glass, if I say I want to have complete vacuum in this, I want to remove air from this glass. If I try to remove air and create a vacuum, it’s almost impossible. But if I just fill the glass with water, the air goes out of it.
Similarly, we need to fill our consciousness with Krishna and constructive activities in relationship with Krishna, in service to Krishna, So the more we can spiritualize our desires, the more we can, by using our intelligence, by having association, we get more and more spiritual desires. Then the more we take up the positive activities, fill our life with positive activities, the negative activities will fall by the wayside. When we are too much thinking that Oh, why can’t I give this up, I can’t, I give this up.
Then we are centering ourselves on something which is negative. And that, the more we think about it, I have to give this up, I have to give this up, I have to give this up. If you just think I have to give this up, I have to give this up.
But the mind is playing with us. The more we are thinking about it, slowly the desire is awakening in us. And instead of I have to give it up, the mind starts changing.
I have to have it, I have to have it, I have to have it now. I have to give it up changes to I have to have it now. So if you are just thinking about something, with the intention of giving it up, actually we are allowing it to control us.
So we need to fill our life and fill our consciousness with constructive activities. And especially if you are connecting with Krishna, Krishna is supremely crucial point. Sometimes even when we practice bhakti, certain habits may not go away immediately.
That is fine. Even if that happens, we don’t have to be focused on that. We can just focus on connecting with Krishna.
Sometimes certain desires shoot up and they make us do certain things, that’s okay. We just move onward, again connect with Krishna. We connect with Krishna again, that connection will purify us.
And gradually by that connection, that desire will go away. If we take God, why did I do that? Why did I do that? Why did I do that? Then when we did that, whatever it was, at that time we were disconnected from Krishna. We are disconnected from the positive.
Then when we are beating ourselves up, why did I do that? Why did I do that? That time also we are disconnected from Krishna. Where are we connected with Krishna? If we are not connected with Krishna, we are not going to become beautiful. So we needn’t be renunciation or rejection centered.
We have to be connection centered, we have to be Krishna centered. And whatever happens to you, even if some habit keeps holding on to me, even if some habit holds on to me, I can still hold on to Krishna. Sometimes we think because this thing is holding on to me, so I give up my hold on Krishna.
No, that habit comes, it makes us do something, but afterwards we continue on the practice of love. And of course, we should endeavor, we can make plans, we can pray to Krishna to help us give up that habit, whatever it is. And if we can find out, you know, what are the circumstances in which I succumb to it, we try to avoid those circumstances.
These are practical measures which we need to take. At the same time, we don’t have to be centered on that. We stay centered on connecting with Krishna.
And as our connection with Krishna increases, as our absorption increases, whatever is the negative, that will fall away. When we define ourselves in terms of our capacity to give up or not give up things, then we basically are defining ourselves from a negative dynamic. See, there is the battle against temptation.
And there is a war for devotion. And the two are related, but the two are not the same. Our primary goal is the war for devotion.
We want to fill our consciousness with Krishna. Now a temptation, it fills our consciousness. And that’s why we don’t want it.
So we have a battle against temptation. But it’s not that giving up the temptation is what is our purpose ultimately. So if we lose the battle against temptation, fine.
Let’s continue the war for devotion, fill the consciousness with Krishna. And as we keep filling our consciousness with Krishna, then gradually the battle against temptation will be won eventually. Does this answer your question? Yes.
Thank you. Any other questions?