How can we cheer up a family member disheartened by a prolonged bad health?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
so if some family member has been facing a persistent problem such as bad health how do we cheer them up when we ourselves feel depressed by seeing their distress yeah Bhagavad Gita talks about two distinct virtues one is the virtue of assertive action for example Krishna is telling Arjuna don’t be passive fight the war the Kauravas have wronged you and you have to correct the wrongs at the same time Bhagavad Gita also talks about tolerance tells 2.14 it says that Arjuna just as when it’s summer it’s going to be hot when it’s winter it’s going to be cold you can’t change this so similarly in life there are seasons and we just have to learn to live with the seasons similarly our life also goes through seasons sometimes there will be a phase of distress sometimes there will be a phase of happiness and Krishna tells Arjuna tolerate it, tolerance does not mean passivity tolerance means tolerance means keeping small things small so that we can focus on the big things or put another way tolerance means to accept the things that are unchangeable so that we can focus on the things that are changeable. In general especially if somebody has a chronic disease or somebody has a disease that is incurable but not yet fatal so then in that case a vital state or a vital stage in their healing is ending the state of denial you know when something bad happens to us, how can this happen to me, no this is not happening to me we see it happening to us but we stay in a state of denial as long as we stay in the state of denial we can’t deal with it so if somebody is going through a difficult health situation that may cause a lot of distress, that may limit a lot of things which they can do but if there’s acceptance that comes ok this is what it is then within that acceptance options open up life sometimes just we are going in a particular direction and say we are going to meet someone and suddenly bang the door gets closed right in our face we feel angry how rude this is, how could they close the door so like that sometimes life slams some door in our face and if we just keep glaring at that door, why is that door closed why is this door closed, why is this door closed then we often don’t even explore can’t even see that there may be some other door that is opened and that door can also take us ahead maybe not exactly in the same direction we had planned but we can go ahead so sometimes just life slams a door in our face and if we don’t accept this door is closed, it’s not going to open just keep banging our head against the door we hurt ourselves so what it’s not easy but it will make life easier accepting is not accepting that some situation is unchangeable that is not easy but accepting it makes life easier because when we are not accepting something it’s like you know we are we are trying to drive a vehicle with our leg fully on the brake so what happens is our resentment our denial is like pressing the brake and then our efforts to do anything else they just don’t work it’s like we are steering the vehicle as long as the brake is there it will not move so we just have to get the brake off the leg so that means this has happened and sometimes life just life stinks sometimes it’s just like that in life and we see throughout the scriptures also we see Ram what was his fault he was just a virtuous prince and suddenly for no fault of his he was exiled so we see even in our scriptures there is this sudden adversity that comes up for no reason the Pandavas they were virtuous and suddenly they found that you know one of them Bhima was poisoned attempted to be killed so time and time again we see that scriptures also demonstrate that adversity comes and the key is how we respond to adversity so these scriptures exemplify how the right response to adversity helps people to live so nobody in this world is spared from distress some of us may get more distress in particularly agonizing forms but other people also get distress in some other forms it may not be right now but it will come later so this also understanding that ultimately distress is democratic everybody has to suffer distress so understanding that ok this has happened now let me see how I can deal with it so within that especially if we just stop looking at their closed door start looking at options we find that options and at such times when we are just choked with resentment when we are choked with negativity and distress we need very much an alternative object of thought, object of thought means if we are facing some problematic situation just keep thinking about it keep thinking about it and it is extremely frustrating but if we just direct our thoughts and not just somewhere else people may just watch some movies or read some novel but then afterwards thoughts come back again to that thing but if we direct our thoughts somewhere else it is somewhere higher if we at this time direct our thoughts towards spiritual wisdom towards God and prayerfully seek his shelter then that strengthens us internally external problem is more or less unchangeable but it is the mind which is just pushing against the problem, it’s like hitting against a wall hitting against a closed door, it’s not helping so now we can’t stop thinking the mind will always keep thinking something or the other so if we just direct the thought somewhere else and somewhere uplifting then that gives us some strength gives us some some solace and afterwards when we come back and revisit the problem we can find, okay, this option is also there, this is also there so if we are just consumed in thinking about the problem that drains us but if we lift ourselves up it says don’t tell God how big your problems are tell your problems how big God is that means, tell your problems how big God is means that we focus on God and try to connect with God and then our consciousness becomes permeated with His presence, that gives us a peace by which we can deal with problems the Bhagavad Gita leads to the Bhagavad Puran, the Srimad Bhagavatam and the Bhagavad Puran describes the theme that it starts with the story of Parikshit, a king young, virtuous, powerful and he’s supposed to die in seven days and in the whole Bhagavatam it talks about how he takes shelter of God through the process of bhakti and transcends the process of death the death as a physical event happens but his consciousness is lifted up, he realizes his mortal nature and he attains immortality the underlying theme of the Bhagavatam is that God’s power to heal is greater than the world’s power to hurt on our own the world’s power to hurt is so great that sooner or later we will be hurt and on our own we can’t face it but if we turn and take shelter of God, we’ll find that His power to heal is greater and with that power to heal we can tolerate the hurt we can transcend the hurt and we can be ultimately healed of the hurt so that inner redirection of our thoughts towards God God will help us to accept and will help us to find ways forward so in this case of a of a family member or relative in distress first of all if you are distressed by that, you can’t help them but you need to redirect your thoughts first and by the redirection of your thoughts as you become uplifted then you will yourself you will find options, doors opening and you will find how you can help them does that answer your question? thank you very much Krishna any other questions?