How do we keep our spiritual focus while living up to various social expectations?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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so when we are living in society we often feel that it is our duty to satisfy say certain people certain family members or certain social obligations and in trying to look good in these different social mirrors we end up compromising our bhakti practices so how do we balance between the two yes see the easiest way to make ourselves miserable is to try to satisfy everyone you know only God can do that and actually even God can’t do that He can do that but when people have certain specific desires attached to them even God can’t satisfy them say the point is we always have to make decisions so we start with basics and we move forward so for example we decide based on our priorities what is important for us and in different phases in our life different things will be important so for example if I am studying in a college then my professor, my project guy the person is important for me if I am working at a job my boss is important for me if I am in a family my immediate family members are important for me my distant relatives will not be that important so we basically have to grade the different people in our lives in terms of how important they are and then we can decide these 1,2,3,4,5 these are the people whom I am going to primarily satisfy and then we can ok these people at this level these people at this level because some people are very important for us some people are not so important for us and we have to know that every time we say yes to a particular person we may be ending up saying no to somebody else so if say I have limited time and I decide to spend that time with person X then that means I am not spending that time with person Y and if Y happens to be more important than X for me then then I am actually creating trouble for myself so basically this is a matter of priority Prabhupada explains in the 10th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita that intelligence means to see things in their proper perspective so if we sometimes can take guidance from some senior devotees required but if we just in a sattvic way calmly think what are my life’s priorities right now ok right now my career is my priority or this is my priority this is my priority whatever it is and in terms of our priority we decide which people are important for us and which particular activities we need to do accordingly so the tendency is to actually feel that the spiritual is something which can just be done later this social is what I need to do now this social I have to do now and that way we just keep postponing the spiritual so it’s good if we decide that we have some basic commitment to the spiritual that is non-negotiable and we just do that no matter what and beyond that according to the circumstances we can wait so that means that at certain times say if we have exams you know if we have a major projected line if we have family and then there is pregnancy in the family there is a big sickness in the family then those are times when we have to be available for doing whatever it takes so those are emergencies now if emergency like situations are happening on a daily basis then that means there is something seriously wrong with our own organization of our life our own prioritization of things then that’s where we need to really take stock I am putting my time in things which are not important that’s why I am not able to arrange things which are really important so if we sit and objectively understand what is of how much importance to us then we will be able to balance in our lives and as I said balance doesn’t have to be static that means that in this time the balance means I do this more and I do this less another time balance means I do that more and do this less so balance can also be dynamic but the basic principle of balance is that what is important gets the due attention and other things they give attention according to their level of importance and that’s why although in the heat of life that means when we are doing things we tend to be in rejuvenation A B C I have to do this I have to do that I have to do that and at that time it is very difficult to make decisions of what I should do or what I should not do that’s why we need some time when we are in saffron color when we are more calm and more reflective the decisions about plans, patterns, policies these cannot be taken in the heat of the moment they have to be taken and we are withdrawn from that heat and then we decide ok in this next 2-3 months this is going to be my priority and then when I have decided that then I can say no to this person I can say no to that person I can move forward so by planning properly based on our understanding of what is important what is how important we can arrive at the balance which is appropriate at that time and we can adapt that balance also as per change times.
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