I am useless – Is this feeling in ignorance or in transcendence?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
thank you very much so to feel that I am useless is it in the mode of ignorance or is it in transcendence as we see great devotees saying that oh I am completely useless, I am so sinful, I am so fallen yeah actually ignorance and transcendence can seem similar sometimes so for example the materialistic people they say we don’t know Krishna is God the Brajivasis also say we don’t know Krishna is God but it’s a big difference total difference but the Brajivasis love Krishna so basically for the great devotees when they say I am very fallen, I am so sinful amara jeevan sadha pape ratha nahi ko punya ralesha my life is simply filled with sin there is no trace of punya in my life actually this is this sort of sentiment is in the full light of Krishna consciousness when a devotee becomes aware of Krishna’s greatness Krishna’s purity Krishna’s loving nature in comparison with that the devotee feels what have I done in comparison to Krishna’s purity even if I am very pure I feel what is my purity, I am so impure Krishna Das Kaviraj Goswami when he says I am more fallen than Jagai and Madai now how is that possible what he is feeling over there is Jagai and Madai they never had any opportunity to interact with Lord Jaitanya as soon as they got it they took their mercy and they became great devotees I had so the Lord was so merciful to me he offered so much to me in love but I am not reciprocated at all therefore I am more fallen so that sentiment of feeling oneself very fallen that actually is because of the intense absorption in Krishna of the devotee and it increases their intense absorption in Krishna whereas when we are in the mode of ignorance our feeling I am very fallen there is no Krishna consciousness in the devotee, there is only self consciousness, sometimes we ask what is the difference between humility and inferiority complex so actually they are very different, inferiority complex is simply false ego frustrated so I want to be a big person but what can I do, I don’t have any qualities which I can be big, therefore I feel inferior when self pity is there there is complete self centeredness I can’t do this, I can’t do that therefore I am useless it’s all centered on I the essence of humility is not that I am so bad, I am so fallen, I am so fallen, essence of humility is that, that I am meant to serve Krishna at our level, Prabhupada gives a very practical definition of humility in the 13th chapter verses 8 to 12 per port there he says humility means to not be anxious to have the satisfaction of being honoured by others to not be anxious to have the satisfaction of being honoured by others Prabhupada is not saying that we should not be honoured by others somebody honours us somebody appreciates us somebody praises us, naturally we feel satisfied also by that but we don’t delight in that, we don’t we are not anxious about that so our purpose is to serve Krishna so another way I put the same definition essentially, humility means to not let our ego come in the way of our purpose of serving Krishna not let our ego come in the way of our purpose of serving Krishna so if my service requires me to get some honour, I’ll accept that but if my service requires that I’ll be neglected I’m ready to accept that Prabhupada was in India, he was respected in India as a sadhu, as a sanyasi from here Prabhupada went to America came to America and in America people just didn’t know what a sadhu meant this was a strange old man and at least in the initial years Prabhupada would have had much more respect in India than he had in America but Prabhupada came here because there was a service and the people are more eager to hear about Krishna here than there so for us, we rather than thinking of humility in I am so fallen, the important thing is I am meant to serve Krishna so the essence of humility is to get out of self consciousness and to go into Krishna consciousness and for that purpose, you have to think I am not such a big person what I am is not all that important what Krishna is and how I can serve Krishna that is more important humility is not so much thinking low of ourselves as thinking less of ourselves thinking low means, oh I am so bad I am so fallen, I am so useless thinking less means I don’t have to be the center of my thoughts let me try to make Krishna the center of my thoughts let me try to make let me try to serve Krishna as much as I can so for us in many ways Prabhupada is the model of how to be Krishna conscious and there were times when Prabhupada did say that, I am very fallen and then the first prayer that he offered when he came to America you know I am a fallen person I have no strength I have no intelligence Krishna you please help me but when Prabhupada is interacting with people you are not always saying I am very fallen he was thinking, ok how can I serve these people by giving them the knowledge of Krishna by helping them come closer to Krishna so the essence of humility is to be absorbed in Krishna and because the exalted devotees are so deeply absorbed in Krishna realizing Krishna’s greatness and purity and love and they feel they are very fallen but when we don’t have that realization of Krishna’s greatness and love and sweetness and purity for us to artificially think I am so fallen it will not work I may say I am more fallen than Jagai and Madai and after saying that we look around, how many people are appreciating my humility so what will happen is if we try to have this artificial expression of humility we will become proud of our humility so rather than worrying so much about expressing our fallen condition we focus on trying to serve Krishna and not let our ego come in the way of our service to Krishna