Mind It 3 – Choosing healthy response to problems

[Seminar at ISKCON, Chowpatty, Mumbai]

PPT:

Video:

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Our discussion on Mind and Understanding, how the bones affect our emotions, our behaviours and our relationships. So, we’ll do a recap before we move forwards.
Basically, many things happen in our life and the external events that happen frequently are not in our control. Our internal responses can be in our control. However, the modes are the forces which make us go towards default responses.
So, somebody behaves rudely with us and that’s just the way they have behaved. Maybe that’s their nature. But that just agitates us and we become angry.
So, that angry response is our default response from the modes. So, till now we discussed how to respond in three parts. Go ahead.
So, the external events come into us, so we perceive them, then we process them internally and then we perceive, we choose a particular course of action. So, we can change these three things. To change our default responses, we can change how we perceive.
That means that we understand our own conditionings. Just earlier I mentioned in the first class that if there’s a road bump, if there’s a speed breaker on the road, then we slow down. So, similarly, because of our own conditioning, certain situations we are going to perceive in a wrong way.
So, we understand our conditioning so that we are prepared in advance that the wrong perception or the misdirected perception that is going to happen, that doesn’t affect us, doesn’t catch us unprepared. Then we discussed about how we process. That means internally we have a particular frame of mind which determines how we process things.
So, we decrease our expectations. We discussed how by the modes, certain dynamic we bring into the relationship, into an interaction. In ignorance, we go for destruction.
In passion, towards domination. In goodness, towards discretion. So, we learn to process appropriately.
One major part of it is moderate the expectations of others as well as from ourselves that we are imperfect, everybody is imperfect and we learn to live with that. Of course, here I have not summarised everything in the class. I have just given a sample over here.
And today we focus on pursue. So, pursue means what do we do. Sometimes some people behave in a way or some things happen in such a way that we just get blocked.
Just feel choked from all directions. Not knowing what to do then. So, we have to find a way to unblock our consciousness.
And we need to make sure no matter whatever happens, our consciousness keeps moving forward. That means we are able to think, analyse and we take some action. Even if that action is to tolerate, that is a consciously chosen decision.
Not just something because I am helpless. So, I will do this. Let us look at this further.
So, now yesterday in the question answer I mentioned about these three things. When we pursue, there are three approaches. Either we can tolerate or we can mitigate or we can emigrate.
So, tolerate means that some things just cannot be changed. Okay. You just accept it.
This is the way it is. The weather here is very cold. I cannot do anything about it.
I have decided to tolerate. Some things cannot not be changed. If the weather is cold and that is causing me cough and that is causing me terrible health issues and I am bed ridden because of that.
Then I have to do something about it. Get warm clothes, get some air conditioning. Some things cannot not be changed.
They have to be changed for our basic survival for our basic movement forwards. So, then we mitigate. And some things we may decide this is not worth my time.
I have better things to do in my life. If constantly if I am going out I have to wear three, four sweaters. Constantly I have to worry about the weather.
Then let me just go to some other place. So, some things need not be changed. It is not that they cannot be changed.
But this is not my battle to fight. I have other things to do in my life. My energy is better invested elsewhere.
So, tolerate, mitigate and emigrate. This will be the main theme of our class which I will elaborate to different examples. Each of these can be done with a positive attitude and each of these can be done with a negative attitude.
I may tolerate simply because I am helpless. I would like to retaliate but I can’t. So, inside me all resentment is there but there is no channel to express it.
Then that tolerance is unhealthy. And that will come off in ugly ways sooner or later. Even if it doesn’t come out in ugly ways at expression towards others internally it will choke me, it will suffocate me.
So, similarly with all these three approaches we may walk away from a situation because we have something better to do. Or we may run away from a situation because we are so afraid of it. If we run away, if we physically go away from it but our mind is still there.
And that can also be a problem. So, I will talk about these approaches. Let’s move forward.
So, if we can broadly classify that when we have problems there is a material way of solving problems there is a spiritual way of solving problems. Some people may talk about the western way and the Indian way but even in the west there has been spirituality and in India also there has been materialism. So, I would talk it as western and Indian talk it about as material and spiritual way.
And it’s not that one is right and other is wrong. Both may be required at different times. So, the material way of solving the problem is change the externals.
Ok, this is the problem. Let’s change the externals and solve the problem. The spiritual way of solving the problem is change the internals.
Focus on developing yourself internally becoming more tolerant or whatever. Now, if you see most of the times in our life the material and the spiritual have to be done together. It’s not that we choose one or the other.
For example, at the end of the Kurukshetra war when Arjuna fought and won the Kurukshetra war did he win that war by the knowledge of the Bhagavad Gita that he got from Krishna or did he win it by the knowledge of archery that he had learnt from Drona? Both, isn’t it? Both. So, the spiritual knowledge gave him the direction and the material knowledge gave him the practical ability, the practical skills. So, say right now I am speaking about Krishna.
So, I am speaking about Krishna because I learnt it from Srila Prabhupada and his followers. But I am speaking in English. I didn’t learn English from Srila Prabhupada.
I learnt it from my school teachers. So, the material and the spiritual they both work together. And in some situations we have more material abilities in some situations we have less material abilities.
In some situations we may have more spiritual ability in some situations we may have less spiritual ability. So, these two approaches it’s not that one is right and other is wrong. It’s that both have to work in parallel and in some situations one may be done more prominently in other situations the other may be more prominent.
So, now if either of these approaches is done excessively it can lead to problems. If we focus simply on external change then if that becomes excessive then the problem is that there is no commitment to anything. There is no consistency in doing any one particular thing.
Say, somebody decides to pursue one course or one career. Say, okay, I want to do engineering. But then they find that engineering is very boring.
I don’t like it. They do maybe one year engineering and they decide, no, okay, I want to go into accounts. I’ll become a CA.
You know, one year CA. They say, this is too much money mindedness. And then they say, I’ll go into law.
I’ll become a lawyer. And they study one year law. You know, like that if one keeps chopping and changing one will not achieve anything.
So, any course of action that we pursue there will be some things which we like and some things we don’t like. So, we have to learn to live with what we don’t like and pursue and focus on what we like and move on. So, there is excessive change.
There is no commitment. And there cannot be any fulfilment. If I study for four years and I get a degree there is some fulfilment that I got this degree.
We just keep changing it then there is no fulfilment. So, too much external change because there is difficulty is inadvisable. And this especially happens in today’s world with respect to relationships.
That it’s not working, just break up. It’s not working, just change it. So, this leads to lot of instability.
Lot of insecurity and lot of lot of heart burning. Because when there is no commitment then no matter any relationship with anyone that we are pursuing there is always a good side and a bad side. And depending on the particular situation, the particular mindset sometimes the bad side may become too prominent sometimes the good side may just become too which is in the background.
The same mind, when two people are attracted to each other they fight against the world and say that I can’t live without you. And then after few months they fight with each other and say I can’t live with you. So, it’s just going tremendous mood swing.
So, there has to be a commitment where commitment basically means that we persevere even amidst unlikable things. If I love something, there is no commitment required for that. You know, say after this programme there is prasadam.
You don’t need commitment to take prasadam. It is nice food. Of course, if there is some prasadam and non prasadam some meat or something like that then we may say, ok, I won’t take this, I’ll take this.
It requires commitment. Normally, when the going is good at that time, there is not much commitment required because there is enjoyment. We may enjoy it.
It’s fine. But when the enjoyment dries up that is the time when the test of commitment comes. So, at the material level, oh, the enjoyment is gone, the problem is coming, why continue? And this happens even in spiritual life.
We are meant to be spiritual seekers. But there are many people who are spiritual shoppers. Spiritual shoppers means, they go to this path, this looks nice, I like it, I’ll do it.
Hey, this, I don’t like it, I’ll give it up. There is a whole group of people in America, it’s also coming in India, it’s called SBNR. SBNR is spiritual but not religious.
They say, we want to be spiritual, we want to explore, we want to understand the higher dimensions of life. But they think religion means you follow some ideology, you follow some process, you become, do some rituals, I don’t want to do all this. Now, in one sense, spiritual means open-minded and religious means close-minded, yes.
We don’t want to be close-minded. But the way to become spiritual, one has to follow some process. It’s not just some imagination, I’m spiritual.
And whatever process we are following to become spiritual, that is religion. So, in a sense, we have to be religious if we want to be spiritual. Otherwise, it’s like saying, spiritual but not religious means, it’s like healthy but no medicine.
I’m sick right now, I want to be healthy but I don’t want to take any medicine. Well, okay, how will you become healthy? It’s good to want to be healthy, but there is a process to become healthy. So, when there is no commitment, people just jump from one path to another path to another path to another path.
And again, they don’t grow spiritually much. So, we do have, we need to explore before we commit ourselves to any spiritual path. We have to analyse, we have to understand, we should be convinced.
But then, eventually, spiritual growth will require commitment. So now, in today’s world, this idea of changing externals has gone to such an extreme, it’s not just that people want to change jobs, change houses, change spouses. No, they want to change themselves also.
One big fad in the western world is gender change surgery. Many people feel that, you know, I am not comfortable with my gender. So, there were people, a person was married, a man was married, has children, and then suddenly he comes and tells his family, actually, you know, I don’t feel like, I am not a man, I am a woman.
And normally, if a man abandons his wife and woman, there will be a recrimination, that person has to give alimony and other things. But if this person says, actually, I am a woman, I want to be a woman, and does gender bender surgery, actually, people, the society in the western world glorifies him. Oh, you have the courage to come out and express your real self.
Well, actually, the real self is neither male nor female. The real self is spiritual. Now, it is possible that some people may just not feel comfortable in their body.
Some men may be a little more feminine, some women may be a little more masculine. That sort of variation, see, there is our gender, there is our psychology and there is our spirituality. So, sometimes our psychology may not exactly match with our gender.
But that is just a variation that is there. So, what happens in some cases, why some people don’t identify with their body and gender, even when some people are homosexuals or whatever. What happens is the soul goes from one body to another body.
But, in some situations, the soul is very attached to a particular body. So, even when the soul goes to the next body, the soul keeps still identifying with the previous body. Somebody might have been a female in the previous life, this life they have become male.
But they are continuing to identify with the previous body. And that’s why they feel uncomfortable with the body that they have right now. So, just like if you come from America to India, you have a jet lag.
The body’s biological clock is functioning according to America, but here, when it is America, it is night, it is day over here. So, it takes time to adjust. So, just as there is a jet lag when we go from one country to another country, similarly, when the soul goes from one body to another body, you could say there is a body lag.
The soul’s consciousness stays in the previous body. But, over a period of time, when one lives in the particular body, just like jet lag, different people may take different times to recover. But, it is something which, actually speaking, nobody feels totally comfortable with their body.
You know, everybody, we ask them, okay, I am too tall, I am too short, I am not fair enough, I am not this, I am not that. Nobody is comfortable with their body. So, yes, there can be lesser or greater incompatibilities.
But this is an extreme example of where people just want to change, even their defining physical identity. So, this can just go on and on and on, where there is no stability left after that. So, changing externals can go towards extreme, which brings a lot of instability.
Similarly, changing internals alone can also go towards extreme. Because, if we just focus on changing internals, then we can become apathetic towards externals. We can become very passive.
And, in the outer world, atrocities might be happening, abuses might be happening, and we just stay passive. So, this, at extreme, breeds the worldview of fatalism. Fatalism means that everything has been destroyed, nothing is in our hands.
And, with this mentality, whatever happens, people just passively accept it. So, in South America, there was one big Mayan kingdom, which was there, existing, when the Romans went over there. So, basically, when Europe started colonising the world, the Protestants, most of them, came to the East.
They came to India, they came to Middle East, other places. The Catholics, they went largely to the West. So, Spain, Portugal, Italy, they went to South America.
So, there, this big, powerful Mayan kingdom was there. And, the invaders from Europe, they didn’t have the army to fight and defeat them. So, they went, one of their priests went, and just went with curiosity to learn about them.
And then, he became friends with them, and then they came to know that, they heard from them that, they had some legend in their, that, if on a no-moon night, on Amavasya, if a black horse comes without any rider, streaking into their village, that indicates, that is like a omen, that their city is going to be conquered. Now, this was just some belief that they had. So, then what this Catholic missionary did was, he went and told their army.
And then, at that time, they just had a no-moon night, they sent the horse. And when the horse came there, they all just, this is a sign that we are going to be defeated. And then, there were barely, there were thousands and thousands of these people were there, and there were barely several hundred of the invaders were there.
But the invaders came and without a fight, accepted defeat. So, this is fatalism, where we think that everything is this time, nothing is in our hands. So, sometimes, this can lead to abuse being perpetuated, atrocity being invited, if we think that nothing is in our hands.
So, of course, this is not so much of a, actually, there is no internal change also happening over here. There is the idea that, material need not be changed at all. Now, this is not the, this is not the teaching of the scriptures.
We are expected to tolerate more, but as we move forwards, can you go ahead? So, yeah. So, we will see from scripture and tradition of examples, where these three approaches were seen. If you look at the Mahabharata, the Pandavas, initially, when Kauravas tried to poison Bhima, eventually, when they were taken to Varanavath, and they were burnt alive.
So, at that time, Yudhishthir said, don’t make it a public issue. This is a family dispute, we will just tolerate, we will somehow resolve it. So, although it was a serious attempt, Bhima had been poisoned, Yudhishthir said, let’s be more careful, but let’s not bring it in public.
Even when they were burnt alive, they escaped, when they came back, eventually, after marrying Draupadi, still, they did not accuse the Kauravas. Just keep it, I tolerated it. But, eventually, when Draupadi was disrobed, a line was crossed at that time.
Eventually, even after that, at that time, the Pandavas couldn’t take any action, because they had agreed to the terms of the gambling match. So, they had to go to exile for 13 years. But when they came back, and after that day, the Kauravas showed no sign of remorse, or no eagerness, no willingness also, to accede to any basic conditions.
In the same assembly, where Draupadi had been dishonoured, the Kauravas tried to dishonour Krishna, by having him arrested. At that time, the Pandavas said, this can’t be tolerated. And they fought a whole war, to overthrow the Adharmic Kauravas.
So, mitigation, in terms of correcting the situation, is also required. And that is also seen. So, then beyond that, there is emigration.
When Krishna departed from the world, at that time, the Pandavas decided, now, whatever purpose the Lord had sent us for, that purpose is to be done. Now, yes, because still the kingdom has to be administered. Yes, but there are others who will do it.
Lenthro Pariksha does the thing. He has been trained. He will take care of it.
So, our role has been done. So, all these three options we see, the Pandavas exhibited at different times. We will see similarly, in Sri Prabhupada’s life.
Sri Prabhupada, now when he was preaching, when he was trying to share Krishna Bhakti, he had lived a very pure life. He had never even drunk tea, coffee, what to speak of meat. And then when he went to America, he was staying at the house of Gopal and Sally Agarwal, and they would eat meat, and Prabhupada would keep his bhoga, which he was offering to the deities, in the same fridge where they would be keeping their meat.
Initially, when Prabhupada would speak with the hippies, they would just be high on drugs, and they would often not take bath for a long time, so they are reeking with odour. And sometimes when Prabhupada would give class, suddenly, some hippie would stand up and say, Swami, I want to speak now. And, you know, if you read in the Leela Amrit, the kind of things that Prabhupada went through.
One time, Prabhupada was giving a class, and suddenly one person got up and said, Swamiji, I am God. So, Prabhupada said, Please accept my obeisances and sat down. So, Prabhupada had to tolerate many things.
So, he tolerated that. At that time, actually the way the western world was, at that time, LSD was seen as a way to get spiritual insights. LSD is a drug.
So, they had re-christianed the drug. They said, anybody who takes LSD, joins the league of spiritual discovery. LSD.
So, they had made that idea. And then, after taking drugs, if anybody would behave in any abnormal way, they would think this person has become LSD saint. That means, he has gone LSD high, and now like a saint, he is going to give special insights.
So, if somebody in LSD high is going to do something, you cannot stop him. How can you stop a saint from doing anything? So, it was unbearable. It just couldn’t be done.
So, Prabhupada had to tolerate it. So, Prabhupada tolerated a lot, and he had to. But at the same time, it was not that he tolerated everything.
He mitigated also. And so, Prabhupada came to India, and he was negotiating to get the land of the Juhu temple. So, there was quite a cunning person, who was also a local politician.
So, he took the money, and eventually he started using gundas and other kind of politics to not give the land also. He pressurised the devotees, threatened the devotees, and the devotees cancelled the deal without any reimbursement. So, Prabhupada was furious at that time.
And he said, I would rather die than let this Mr. N steal Krishna’s land. And Prabhupada fought for it. He fought seriously.
In fact, after the whole thing was resolved, and the land came to Krishna, to Adharaas Biharji, Prabhupada said that, we should write a book about this. So, his only son Giriraj Maharaj is just completing a book now. He is staying in Karpand area.
So, every year when I go, I meet him. So, he has been writing year after year. He started from 1970s, and he is 77.
And 78 was the year when the temple was inaugurated. So, Prabhupada fought for Krishna’s sake. So, there are times when he mitigated also.
And there are times when he emigrated. Initially, when he was preaching in India, and people he found were not very serious. They were pious, but they were not committed.
They wanted the religion to be just one part of their life. It just goes on. They didn’t want to practise it as a means of self-transformation.
And Prabhupada decided to go abroad. Eventually, when he fell sick in America, and he found he was not recovering, he decided to come to India for recovery. And while coming to India for recovery, here also he opened a new front for sharing Krishna’s message.
So, all these three approaches are valid at different times and place circumstances. So, here we are talking about, initially we are talking about how the modes affect our emotions, our behaviours and our relationships. So, I talked about the emotions in the first class, how our particular emotions may just get wild because of particular conditioning.
So, the lower the mode, the higher is the emotion and lesser is the reason. So, we should try to increase the reason. And in the last session, yesterday’s session, I talked about our relationships, how we approach relationships with particular attitudes.
Now, we are going to talk about behaviours. So, how should we behave when we are impelled towards certain things. So, now among these three approaches, tolerate, mitigate and immigrate, it’s not just that one approach is right for everyone.
It will depend also on person’s nature. Some people who may be more Brahminical, they may think just tolerate it, why bother about it. Some people who are more of a Kshatriya nature, yes, you have to change this, you have to fight for it, it’s the cause you have to work for, you have to make changes about it.
So, this is something which is, there is no one right formula for everyone. Even in the same situation, two people may choose two different courses of action. And it’s not that one was right and the other was wrong.
It is we have to see what is right for each person. That will be shaped by one’s psychophysical nature. So, in general, the people, we could say broadly speaking, if you can say tolerate, mitigate and immigrate.
So, if we just go by default responses, the Brahminical person, the person in the mode of goodness will gravitate towards tolerating. The person in the mode of passion will gravitate towards fighting, mitigating. The person in the mode of ignorance will gravitate towards emigrating.
But that emigrating is more, it’s quitting, it’s too much trouble, just get over with it, quitting. So, we could say these are broad responses, patterns of responses which will be shaped by the modes. But what is right for whom, that will not just be determined by the modes.
By the modes, we will move towards, gravitate towards a particular response. But we have to see what will be the most effective at what time. Go ahead.
So, now, because, although we are born and brought up in India, which is very spiritual, most of us have, most of us have grown up in the westernised environment. So, we also, in general, are likely to have the tendency to tolerate being very decreased. So, we will reflect a little bit on the virtue of tolerating and the rationale for tolerating.
So, when some people behave in an unreasonable way, say, some people are just very unclean. They enter into a room and within 15 minutes, it appears that a storm came over there. Everything in that room is disorderly.
And then you go, why do you keep things unclean here? Is it unclean? Didn’t you notice it? What do you mean you can’t notice? I can say unclean everywhere. Yeah, but I didn’t see it. So, what has happened, some people, all of us, by our nature, you remember the first session I talked about the screen of the mind, on which certain windows zoom up.
So, some people are very cleanliness conscious. And some people are very cleanliness unconscious. So, because of this, for some people, if one thing is unclean, that window just zooms up.
And for some people, everything is unclean, still it doesn’t pop up in the window only. It is there, but it doesn’t pop up. So, the person who is very cleanliness conscious, that person will say, why are you being so insensitive? It makes me so angry.
But they are not being insensitive. They are just desensitised. Desensitised means, that doesn’t register in them only.
It’s like, say, if you want to talk with someone, and we tap on their shoulder. And they don’t turn around only. We tap again, they don’t turn.
We tap again, and they don’t turn. I say, how rude, I am going to talk with you, why are you not turning around? But suppose, you know, they have got paralysis or some other disease by which, they don’t have sensation only over there. No matter how much we tap, it doesn’t register for them.
So, that is desensitisation. So, insensitive means, one who doesn’t care. Desensitised means, one who doesn’t feel.
One who doesn’t feel. Insensitive is one who doesn’t care. Desensitised is one who doesn’t feel.
So, many times, when people’s behaviour irritates us, we feel that they are being insensitive. But it may be, that they are just desensitised. They just don’t have that capacity to perceive.
Say, some people are very good at music. Just want every taal, every tune to go perfect. And some people are just tone deaf.
They just can’t perceive anything. And suppose, a person who has no musical sense, they come into a kirtan and they pick up a kartal. And they are playing.
They are playing it wrong, but they don’t understand also it is wrong. So, they are blissfully playing the wrong kirtan. And everybody asks, what are you doing? So, what has happened? They just desensitised over there.
So, when somebody is desensitised, they cause trouble to others, but they are not even aware that they cause trouble to others. So, I am a very English grammar conscious person. So, as soon as I enter into any room, if I see a big picture, I will first look at the caption.
And then, anywhere there is a spelling mistake, I will notice that. Sometimes, if I tell some people, you know, this spelling mistake is wrong, can you correct it? Everyone understands. Why don’t you understand? It becomes very, it is almost, it is here, especially in print, some wrong spelling, it is almost unbearable for me.
Of course, I also make mistakes. That is not to say that I don’t make mistakes. But when I notice it, I just feel very embarrassed.
I should not have done this. But, some people, they just don’t notice it at all. And even if they notice it, it doesn’t matter.
Why make a big show about it? So, some people are just desensitised to grammar and punctuation. Some people are super sensitive. And when such two people come together, its conflict is inevitable.
And, we may, and now the other person says, you know, why are you so insensitive? One person says, why are you so insensitive? The other person says, why do you make a fuss about small things? But the problem is, it is not a small thing for the other person. For a person who is sensitive, it is not a small thing. For the other person, it seems to be a very small thing.
So, in this case, actually, both people have to learn some topics. That means, the person who is super sensitive, this person has to understand this. The other person is not deliberately trying to trouble me.
And, this other person is not deliberately irritating me. And the other, the person who is desensitised, that person also has to understand. This person is not a nitpicker.
This person is not deliberately trying to find faults with me. So, somebody who is desensitised, they may have to put in some special effort. If this is important for the other person, I must do it carefully.
I must put in an effort to do this. And, the first person also has to understand. Okay, for me, this comes naturally.
But for this person, this doesn’t come naturally. So, let me be patient. So, for this, we can compare.
Very often, when we compare with others, we compare our strengths with their weaknesses. If I am very clean and the other person is very unclean, why are you so unclean? But then, I may have some other weakness. I may be very forgetful.
I decide to do this, but I forget to do it. And the other person might remember things very well. So, if we, just as for us, our particular conditioning is very difficult to deal with.
And request time, effort, and sometimes we fail also. Similarly, for them, their conditioning is difficult to deal with. So, rather than comparing our strength with their weakness, and thinking why this person is like this, we can compare our weakness with their weakness.
Our weakness may be something else, their weakness may be something else. And then, we become more understanding towards them. So, many times, when people feel the other person doesn’t care, or the other person just irritates me.
This person just drives me mad. Well, it may not be that the other person wants to drive you mad. It’s just that it’s arranged like that.
So then, in this case, tolerance helps. So, if we just understand the other person is not deliberately doing this, then we can learn to tolerate a bit more. Can you go ahead? Yeah.
So, at another level, we have to understand, spiritually, that there is a higher purpose why we are together. We are together not for our material gratification. We are here for our spiritual evolution.
All our relationships are meant to, yes, we want to be as happy as possible together, but ultimately, we are here to grow. We are here to grow spiritually. Our spiritual relationship with Krishna is the ultimate relationship.
That is the only relationship that is going to be eternal. And that is the only relationship that is going to be eternally fulfilling. So, sometimes, a problematic horizontal relationship may be the necessary impetus for us to develop more intensity in our vertical relationship.
It’s not necessary. If the horizontal relationship is good, that can also help us. But, if our purpose is clear, if we expect material gratification, then, we will be frustrated.
But, we understand that both of us, whatever relationship we have, we are here together to help each other grow. Then, sometimes, growth happens through inspiration, and sometimes, growth happens through frustration. Growth happens through inspiration means that other person is so good at something that I feel, to reciprocate, I want to become better than this.
Sometimes, the other person is so bad that I just have to learn to tolerate. So, it may be out of frustration also. But, either way, the growth can happen.
So, one way we can look at this. Now, this doesn’t mean that we just have to accept anything and everything that any other person does. And, this is not meant to licence or perpetuate avoidable misery in life.
It’s just a matter of moderating one’s expectations. So, say, if we go to a hotel, then, we expect good food there. That’s what the purpose of the hotel is.
And, we may say, give me this, give me that. What is there on the menu? Give me this, give me that. On the other hand, if we go to a hospital, in the hospital also, there may be a canteen.
But, we don’t expect a large variety of menu to be there. And also, we don’t expect the food in a hospital canteen to be especially delicious. It’s there.
Similarly, if we are going to a hospital, we understand the purpose is treatment. Now, I need food also, and the food should also be as good as possible. But, just the food’s quality is not the purpose for going to the hospital.
Similarly, if we are in a relationship, we think the material level, the enjoyment that I’m going to get in this relationship, that’s the purpose of the relationship. Then, that’s like going to a hospital with the expectation of a hotel. It will lead to frustration.
Now, in a hospital also, the food should be as good as possible. Similarly, even with a spiritual focus for our relationship, we understand that we are together for our spiritual evolution. With that also, we want to have materially as much harmony as possible, as much good reciprocation, as much warmth as possible.
But, if that is the primary expectation, then that will lead to frustration. Ultimately, no two souls are compatible except the Atma and the Paramanuma. Only the soul and Krishna are fully compatible.
Apart from that, what we can have is varying degrees of incompatibility. Sometimes, there can be enormous incompatibility and that is unbearable. So, let’s understand it.
But, if the expectation is moderated, then the frustration also goes down substantially. Sometimes, when there is difficulty, when there is trouble, at that time, we can learn tolerance. So, here the example of a leech is given.
Suppose, a leech bites us. When the leech bites, at that time, it can be scary. I was giving this example and one American devotee told me that he actually experienced this.
He had gone for swimming and when he was in the water, suddenly he felt something biting his leg. He saw there was this leech. Big white leech was there, just sucking his blood.
He knew that if the leech is sucking the blood, if you try to pull out the leech, the leech has such a fierce grip, it will rip out the whole skin. But, just tolerate it. The leech does not have infinite capacity to suck blood.
So, the leech will take its own blood and once its tubules are full, then, just flip it, it will fall off. So, like that, sometimes, the problems that come in our life, they are like leeches. If we overreact, you do it like this, I will do like this.
We overreact, then that’s like trying to pull the leech out. And, that overreaction makes a small problem far, far bigger than what it needs to be. Just tolerate, then, if you tolerate, then, okay.
All of us, we go through different moods. All of us go through different situations. And, even if we know each other very well, still, we don’t really know what is going on in whose mind.
So, sometimes, some people are just under pressure and they are under such pressure that they can’t share with us what they are going through. So, then, under pressure, they may be behaving in a very rude or harsh or very pathetic, insensitive way. But, that is just a phase.
So, there, that behaviour is circumstantial. And, it will come, it will stay for some time, the circumstance goes away, that behaviour also goes away. But, if we take that behaviour and make that as a label on that person, you are like this.
Then, what happens is that leech, which would have bitten for a small time, in reaction to that, we are pulling out the whole skin. So, circumstantially, everybody goes through bad days. And, they go to bad days.
Even good people may sometimes just do bad things. So, we have to be understanding. We also may slip.
We also may slip. We may also do wrong things. So, the pressure that who is going through, we don’t know from external.
And, sometimes, even if something may say, it’s not a pressure for me. This kind of problems keep coming. But, for that person, it might seem to be a very big pressure.
Because, the weight of problems is felt differently by different people. Problems don’t weigh down equally on everyone. Somebody who is very money conscious and somebody who is not that money conscious.
So, there is a financial insecurity. The person who is very money conscious, they will just not be able to think what to do now. But, somebody who is not money conscious, okay, we will deal with it.
It’s not necessary that somebody who is not money conscious is necessarily Krishna conscious. And, it’s not necessary that somebody who is money conscious is not Krishna conscious. No, that is just the way it is.
So, that money consciousness is just the characteristic of the mind. So, it’s more of a Vaishya mentality, we could say. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.
That’s just the feature of the body-mind thing. So, same problems also don’t weigh equally on you and different people. So, that’s why the problem which we see is okay for us.
Why are you getting so much pressure? But, it’s not like that. It is just the way we are. Somehow, we tend to differentiate between mental problems and physical problems.
So, it’s like, suppose two people come to an AC room and one of them is very sensitive to the cold. Then, as soon as they get cold, they start sneezing, they start getting a running nose and they get all kinds of problems. Then, if somebody is having that problem, we understand.
Your body is different. Maybe you can get some more warm clothes. Maybe you didn’t come over here.
We understand. Because different bodies are different. But, similarly, different minds are different.
So, just as the cold may not be a problem for me, but may be a problem for something else. Similarly, a particular situation may not be a problem for me, but it may be a big problem for somebody else. So, we have to acknowledge that what people are feeling or what we are feeling.
The emotions that we feel, they may not be reality. But, the emotions that we feel are real. The emotions we feel may not be based on reality.
There is no problem here. If I am worried, then I am worried. So, if I am angry, it’s such a small thing.
Why you got angry? It’s amazing. Normally, in scriptures, we say that we should learn to tolerate. But, in the Bhagavatam, when Dhruv Maharaj was unable to tolerate the insult that his father does to him, the neglect basically, because he just walks away from home.
So, at that time, Narada Muni, when he goes to meet Dhruva, he says, Just see the greatness of the Kshatriyas that they cannot tolerate dishonour. Is that a great thing? Not tolerate dishonour? No. For the Kshatriyas, their not tolerating dishonour is a way by which they take assertive actions.
So, they are representing the state and they are Narada, they are representatives of God. So, they need to be properly respected in that capacity. So, if somebody is acting adharmically, their sense of honour makes them behave honourably.
And their inability to tolerate dishonour ensures that they don’t tolerate dishonourable behaviour from others. And they also make others come on the path of Dharma. So, normally we talk about tolerance, but Narada Muni appreciates.
Oh, you are not able to tolerate? But then, when Dhruva doesn’t tolerate, he doesn’t simply become Tamasic. He doesn’t become destructive. You know, you did like this, I’ll do this, I’ll hit my father, I’ll do this, I’ll do that.
No, he becomes more Dharmic. His inability to tolerate the situation, he emigrates from it. Can’t tolerate it.
But in emigrating, he goes closer to Krishna. So, we can’t blame him. This is just, you know, you are a small child.
You couldn’t sit on your father’s lap. What’s the big deal? For him, it was a big deal. So, because different minds are different, so the same problem may weigh differently on different people.
And we learn to be understanding. So, humility means to acknowledge the complexity of reality. Humility means, to be humble, it can have different meanings.
It means that reality may be much more complicated than the simple black and white terms that I ascribe to it. You know, you get so angry about this, that means you are a short-tempered person. But you know, that person may be very even-tempered in other situations.
But here they are short-tempered. They don’t deserve the label to be called short-tempered at that time. But that may be a sore spot for them.
So, rather than just judging, you are getting angry, you are a short-tempered person. It’s not like that. So, there might be a lot of other things going on which we are not aware of.
So, humility means to acknowledge the complexity of reality. Different people’s minds are different. The situations that they are going through are different.
How the situations affect their minds are different. We can’t know everything. Even about people whom we think we know, we really don’t know that much.
So, that means if some people normally behave well, but circumstantially they are behaving in a troublesome way, then rather than overreacting, just tolerate it. It’s like a leech. That leech will come, bite for some time, it will go away.
So, many times problems can be minimised if we just learn to tolerate. The worst is to retaliate thoughtlessly. Suppose, you did this to me and I do this to you.
So, imagine, suppose a snake comes and bites us. And after biting, we feel the sting and we see the snake slithering away. You snake! How dare you bit me! I will come and beat you! And we run after the snake and pound our snake and kill the snake.
Even if we succeed in killing the snake, what are we doing? We are killing ourselves. The more we are running, the more we are stamping our feet. What are we doing? We are causing the blood to flow faster and the blood is going to go to the heart, to the brain and is going to kill us.
So, life is not meant for getting even with others. Life is meant for getting back to Krishna. Life is not meant for getting even with others.
You did this, so I will do that. That is not what life is meant for. Life is meant for getting back to Krishna.
Getting back to Krishna means that my purpose is this. Now, if the snake has bit me, then it is not that the snake should be allowed to go scot-free. I may have to deal with it.
But first, I have to save myself. I get some medication, get some antidote and then either I come or I send someone to deal with this snake. I am not talking about complete passivity.
But the point is that if you did this to me, so I do this to you. That will just get us caught in small things. And that will miss out the big thing.
So, can you go ahead? Now, that’s why when we face problems, we need to look beyond problems to Krishna. The problems are there. This problem is here, this problem is here, this problem is here.
And sometimes you just become problem conscious. Why are you doing like this? Why is this happening? Why is that happening? But we need to become conscious of Krishna. Now, becoming conscious of Krishna means what? Is it that there are problems and you are chanting Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna and I am trying to forget the problems? Or is it that means that, okay, there is a problem, I just go to the temple and forget about my home.
If there is a problem in my office, I just go on a yatra and forget everything else. Is that what it means to be conscious of Krishna? No, sometimes that may help us to deal with the immediate issue. But that is not the primary approach.
To become conscious of Krishna means to understand that our defining identity is that I am a servant of Krishna. We all define ourselves in terms of our relationships. In childhood we define ourselves I am the son of so-and-so, I am the daughter of so-and-so.
In adulthood we define ourselves I am the husband of so-and-so, I am the wife of so-and-so. Or I am the mother of so-and-so, I am the father of so-and-so. Now, through all our relationships we define ourselves.
And depending on how those relationships are going, we feel positive or negative about ourselves. If our child is not doing well in our exams, then we feel not just the child’s failure, we feel it’s our failure. So, we define ourselves in terms of our relationships.
But, we have to know that these all are our secondary identities. Our primary identity is that we are servants of Krishna. As a servant of Krishna, I am a wife, I am a husband, I am a mother, I am a father.
And all these other relationships are services that I am doing. They are roles I am taking up for the service of Krishna. They are services to Krishna, so they have to be done responsibly.
No doubt about it. But, they are not my defining identity. And that means, if I define myself in terms of a particular relationship, if I define myself in terms of, say, I am the son of so-and-so, I am the daughter of so-and-so, and if there is some relationship difficulty with my parents, then I feel as if I am worthless.
Who am I? As if my life is a waste. But, no, sometimes there may be some difficulties. And they may think differently, we think differently.
And we try to resolve, but it is not that just because that relationship is having a problem, that means our life is worthless. So, if we let ourselves be defined by any of our relationships, other than our relationship with Krishna, then we subject ourselves, or we open ourselves to a lot of insecurity, lot of distress. But, if we understand that no matter whatever happens, I am the servant of Krishna.
And as a servant, I’ll be a husband, I’ll be a wife, I’ll be a father, I’ll be a mother. And as a servant of Krishna, I’ll do all these. I’ll do all these to the best of my capacity.
But sometimes, some things may work well, some things may not work well. So, just as when the services, we do various services, sometimes some services, we go for distribution, we do some service, sometimes it works well, sometimes it doesn’t work well. But our relationship with Krishna moves on.
So, if we are rooted in our defining identity, that is what it means, we are looking at Krishna and not just looking at the problem. And then when we have the security of being rooted in our defining identity, then we can deal with the problem more maturely. Go ahead.
So, basically, all the services that we are doing, they are like channels by which our consciousness is meant to flow towards Krishna. So, we serve our family members, we do our responsibilities in our relationship with them, through which we are actually serving Krishna. We are souls, parts of Krishna, they are souls, parts of Krishna.
We have our office where we have jobs, there we are doing our professional responsibilities, that is also we are doing a service to Krishna over there. So, these are all channels through which our consciousness is meant to flow towards Krishna. Even in devotee community, we may have some relationship with some devotees and through that relationship we move closer towards Krishna.
But sometimes, some channels may get blocked. Sometimes, some misunderstanding happens, some quarrel happens, some problem comes up. So, that channel gets blocked.
Kothi Maharaj says that, She suggested that Ganga always moves towards the ocean. Similarly, let my consciousness always move towards you. So, in that same mood, how does Ganga always move towards the ocean? It finds some way to keep moving on.
And rivers often have many different tributaries. So, this channel, this channel, this channel, it moves on. So, like that, when we are serving Krishna, sometimes, some channels may get blocked.
Some blockage may be temporary, some blockage may be long lasting. But whatever it is, the channel may get blocked, but our consciousness may not get blocked. How can I keep moving on towards Krishna? How can I keep serving Krishna? So, for this to be done, we have to change our defining question, our driving question.
If we are asking, why? Why did this happen? Why did this person behave like this? Why did this event have to happen? The why question is simply the express way to frustration. The why question. Why? Why is this happening? Why is this? Why that? Why that? Many times, we just don’t have answers.
Sometimes, we may be able to get some understanding. That is satisfactory. Sometimes, no matter how much we try, why did he have to speak like that about me? Why did she have to do that? We just can’t figure out.
So, the why question, it just is like a whiplash continuously coming on our consciousness. Why? Why? Why? And especially if somebody is very analytical, intellectual, then not getting an answer is unbearable. Some people think that they are very good at figuring out other people.
You know, every relationship begins with the promise that we can be controllers. And every relationship gives us the realisation we are not the controllers. So, especially people who think that they are good at figuring out people, at that time when people behave in unreasonable ways, in unpredictable ways, they just can’t figure it out.
Why did they do like that? So, yes, maybe in future we will learn about it, maybe we may discuss and get some better insights. But just obsessing over the why question is, it’s like a channel is blocked and the water is flowing there, flowing there, flowing there, flowing there. Sometimes the blockage may be so thick that no matter how much water flows, the water is not going to flow forward through it.
So, at that time we change the question, why, from why to how. Not why did this person behave like this? How can I best respond? How can I best respond? So, how can I best respond means what? It means that I am here, this person is here, Krishna is here. So, I have a relationship with this person and I am trying to serve Krishna.
So, as a servant of Krishna, I will serve this person. So, when we are serving with others, there are three broad possibilities. We serve with others, we serve through others or we serve in spite of others.
What does it mean? We serve with others. That means that both of us, we are a team and we do the service together. Sometimes we serve in spite of others.
That means that person is a big trouble, that person doesn’t, just creates trouble for me, but in spite of that person I will serve. Sometimes we serve through others. That means by doing service to that person I am also serving Krishna.
So, sometimes when we are working, I was at a temple and one person asked this question that there is one devotee I just don’t like at all, but I have been given a service with that devotee. How should I do the service? I tried to get out of that service but I am not able to get out. So, how should I do this service? I told him that you can understand that you have been given two services.
One is doing the actual service and second is tolerating this devotee. So, when we don’t like someone, we have to work with that. Some people we serve with them, but sometimes serving with them is also a service.
So, we are not just doing some external service, but working with them is also a service. But if our vision is that I am serving Krishna, then sometimes we can serve with them, sometimes we can serve through them, sometimes we serve in spite of them. All these three possibilities are there.
We want our consciousness to move towards Krishna. So, if I am thinking I should serve with this person, but that person is not wanting to be with me. So, what do I do at that time? We can’t force anyone.
We can push, but there are limits to how much you can push also. Why is this person not cooperating? We have to do this together. Why is this person not doing? Okay, they are not doing what to do.
So, how can I move forward? We cannot serve with them, then I’ll treat tolerating this person’s unreasonable behaviour as also a service and I’ll work with it. Or sometimes I’ll just neglect that person and do my service. So, I serve in spite of that person.
So, if we have this intention that I am going to serve Krishna no matter what. That is my identity and that is my purpose. Then, we will find a way forward even if there are difficulties around us.
If this doesn’t work, I’ll do this. If this doesn’t work, I’ll do this. And we see this resourcefulness in Srila Prabhupada’s life very much.
Srila Prabhupada actually worked tirelessly. His intention for serving Krishna was very strong. But at the same time, he tried so many different things.
He first tried to run Back to Godhead magazine and when that didn’t work, he tried to start a League of Devotees and that didn’t work so well. Then he tried to work with his Godbrothers running their magazine and that didn’t work. Again he tried to start Back to Godhead and that didn’t work.
He started printing his own Bhagavatam commentaries. Then he started a Bhagavad Gita writing commentary but then that book got lost. Then, he tried to go to America but nobody was ready to help him.
Then, he was just travelling, living home to home at different places. He didn’t even have a forwarding address. Eventually, when somebody actually got a sponsorship for him to go to America, the sponsorship came but Prabhupada was changing addresses so fast that actually the letter with the sponsorship, it went to seven houses before it came to Prabhupada.
Prabhupada was changing addresses so much. So, he has fixed his intention to serve Krishna but even for him, there is no clear path. Does this work? Does this work? So, there has to be that resourcefulness to make sure that our consciousness keeps moving towards Krishna.
So, if you are focussing on the service of Krishna, then that service can be done in two different ways. There is one way of serving Krishna or one way of surrendering to Krishna is there is dependence on Krishna and the second is diligence for Krishna. Dependence on Krishna means that Krishna, this is the situation I am in.
I can’t do much. You please take care of things. That is one way of serving.
Draupadi surrenders that way. Krishna, I can’t do anything. I surrender to you.
Now, that is not the only way to surrender. At the end of the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna surrenders to Krishna but Arjuna doesn’t surrender by raising his hands. Arjuna surrenders by raising his bow in readiness to fight.
So, he is exhibiting diligence for Krishna. Diligence. I have to do my best.
So, basically we could say that there are certain things in our control and certain things not in our control. For the things that are not in our control, we exhibit dependence on Krishna. For the things in our control, we exhibit diligence for Krishna and both need to go together.
So, yesterday I gave the example of a tennis match. When we are serving, we have more initiative, more freedom, more things are in our control. When we are returning, less things are in our control.
So, depending on what kind of situation we are in, we may exercise our determination to serve Krishna, determination to keep our consciousness going towards Krishna through either diligence or through dependence. Sometimes, all the channels may seem to be closed. What do I do at that time? In 1.30, Arjuna says that whatever path I see, I see only in auspiciousness.
I see only frustration. What should I do? So, one definition of intelligence is, intelligence means to know what to do when we don’t know what to do. To know what to do when we don’t know what to do.
What does it mean? If we don’t know what to do, the one thing we can always do is, turn towards Krishna. In 2.6 in the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna says, I don’t know what to do. Should I fight? Is fighting and winning better? Should I fight and losing is better or quitting is better? I just don’t know.
That is 2.6. He doesn’t know. But then, he knows what to do at that time. In 2.7, he surrenders to Krishna.
Krishna, please tell me what is the right course to follow? So, if we have this combination of dependence and diligence, then we can move forwards. When I started giving classes for the first time about 20-25 years ago, I was given some public speaking guidelines by senior devotees. The last guideline was, depend on Krishna.
But in bracket, but only after you have prepared. We talk about, I may give a class about dependence on Krishna, but to give a class about dependence on Krishna, I have to have diligence for Krishna in preparing for that class. If I just don’t prepare anything and I go for a class, I say, I am dependent.
That is not dependent, that is a responsibility. So, dependence is for the things that are not in our control. If we don’t take care of the things in our control, then that is not dependent, that is irresponsibility.
So, we have to be diligent to do what is in our control. So, in every situation, if you just ask this question, how can I move forward, Krishna? Then, sooner or later, the light will come. Sometimes the light may come as sudden illumination, hey, this is what I should be doing.
Sometimes, the light may come like a gradual sunrise. It is dark, it is dark, it is dark, but all the time the sun is rising, rising, rising. So, Srila Prabhupada writes in a purport that a devotee may be perplexed, but a devotee is never discouraged.
Perplexed means, I don’t know what to do. Discouraged means, I don’t feel like doing anything. So, a devotee can be perplexed.
Why is this happening? What should I be doing? So, then if you just wait, the light will come gradually. We maintain our service attitude and we keep moving towards Krishna in whatever way we can at that time. Go ahead.
So, I discussed this earlier that whatever karma may get us through, Krishna will get us through. That Krishna is with us and He will help us go through the situation. So, don’t catastrophise the situation.
Contextualise it. Catastrophise means, this problem comes. Some people, you know, it’s like, every problem is as if the sky is falling down.
Every problem comes and they just become so agitated by it. That’s just their nature. But they have to moderate it.
Don’t catastrophise the problem. Contextualise it. Yes, this is a problem, but if I look at my life, there have been so many problems in my life throughout.
Maybe at this moment, this problem appears big and unmanageable. But if I look back maybe one year ago, the problem I was facing at that time, that also appeared big and unmanageable at that time. So, these problems will become contextualised.
Problems come, problems stay, problems go. So, whatever is going to come to me, Krishna will help me get through it. And, yes, rather than saying this person is causing the problem, you see, it’s because of karma that it is happening.
That doesn’t mean I let the person continue whatever he or she is doing. My focus is, how best can I move towards Krishna? So, if we have this vision, then we can move forward positively. Last point.
So, we need to see with the eyes of faith. When problems come, we see the present and plan the future. You know, I was here and I wanted to go there.
This is what I had planned. Why is all this coming up? But Krishna sees the future and plans the present. So, Krishna knows what kind of problems we are going to get in the future.
And he is preparing for that. That’s why his vision often sees differently from our vision. It’s like a child has some pain.
The child goes to a doctor. The doctor takes out an injection. I have pain in my stomach and you are going to give me pain in my arm also.
What is this? No. The doctor sees there is going to be bigger pain. So, to remove that, the doctor is giving this pain.
So, there is pain, but not all pain is the same. There is some pain which is a cause of suffering and there is some pain that is the cure for suffering. The pain of the disease is the cause of suffering.
The pain of the injection or the pain of the surgery is the cure for suffering. So, when we are going through pain, at that time, we need to understand that Krishna is so expert that the pain which is right now seeming to be the cause of suffering to me can be made by Krishna into a cure for suffering. For a future suffering which I was going to get, which I don’t know about right now.
I was speaking on this topic in America and Florida and Fort Lauderdale. So, after I spoke this point, one Russian Mataji came and she shared an experience. She said that she had been in New Vrindavan, which is a spiritual retreat community which we have on top of a mountain in West Virginia.
So, she had gone there and suddenly she is she was like a hostess on a cruise ship. Suddenly the ship decided to move and she got a call to come immediately. Very short notice.
Now, that is on mountain top, there is not much public transport available. So, she looked around was anybody going from there. She came to know that there is one devotee, young man who was going next morning at 10 o’clock.
So, she asked Mataji, can you drop me to the airport? He said, yes, I will drop you. You come at this place and we will go together. So, she went there at 9.50 and she was waiting 10, 10.50, 10.30. She was trying to call but the range was very poor over there.
She couldn’t connect with him. Finally at 11.30 she connected with him. And then he said, oh, I am sorry, I forgot.
And he says, actually now I have gone very far. I also have to catch a flight. I can’t come back.
And the phone got cut. She couldn’t connect and she was furious. How could you forget? And she was seething with anger.
Mad practically. And then, that evening she just came to the temple and another Mataji told me, you knew that boy who left today morning? He said, yes. And his car met with a terrible accident.
He said, it was hit by a drunk driver. And he said, the drunk driver hit full on the passenger side of the car. So, this boy was in the hospital but he is not very serious.
If anybody had been on the passenger side, he would have been killed. So, at that time she realised that this boy forgot but actually Krishna saved me through that. So, sometimes something may go wrong in our life right now and 6 hours later we may realise, why did that happen? Some things we may realise not 6 hours but 6 months later.
Something may take 6 years to realise. Something may take 60 years. But, Krishna has a plan.
Krishna has a purpose. And, if we just keep studying, keep persevering through whatever we are doing, rather than becoming disheartened, rather than becoming frustrated, rather than quitting, we just keep moving on. Then, what Krishna’s plan was, what Krishna’s purpose was, that will be revealed.
So, when we come in the associative devotees, when we hear Shastra, it is meant to boost our faith in Krishna’s benevolence. That Krishna loves us, that Krishna cares for us and that He is there. Even when everything seems to be going wrong, He is still there.
Even when there are dark clouds in the sky, beyond the clouds a bright sun is shining. Sometimes the clouds may be so dark that we can’t see the sun at all. But, that doesn’t mean the sun is not there.
So, sometimes, because of past karma or whatever, the clouds may become so dark, the clouds of problems may become so dark that we may not see Krishna anywhere. But, we should know that the Krishna sun is shining beyond the clouds. And, no cloud lasts forever.
So, the clouds may be dark, but Krishna is bright beyond the clouds. And, Krishna will in due course dissipate the clouds. So, So, If you become conscious of me, you will pass over all obstacles by my grace.
That is Krishna’s promise. And, if we stay conscious of Krishna time and time again, we will see how Krishna brings this promise to reality. So, I’ll summarise what I spoke today.
I spoke about how we talked about changing the default responses to the situations that we are put in. The default responses are triggered by our modes. And, to change it, we can change how we perceive, how we process, and what we perceive.
So, we discussed about what we perceive. So, we discussed first about how the modes affect our emotions, how the modes affect our relationships. Now, we discussed about how the modes may affect our behaviours.
So, in the mode of goodness, our tendency will tolerate. In the mode of passion, it will be to fight back, mitigate. And, in the mode of ignorance, it will be to emigrate, just quit and go away.
But, all these three are valid approaches, which, if we can do with a positive attitude, they can help us. So, some things can’t be changed, some things can’t not be changed, and some things needn’t be changed. So, we discussed the example of the Pandavas and Prabhupada, which is to tolerate, emigrate, and mitigate.
So, we could say the tolerant approach is more of internal change. The mitigate and emigrate approach is more of external change. So, in general, both may be required.
It is not that one is right and the other is wrong. So, the excess of only the external change approach is that there is no commitment. And then, there can be no fulfilment, like a person who just keeps changing courses because they don’t like a particular subject or something.
They will never get any degree. Commitment is needed. And, so people may go to the extreme, they change their houses, they change their spouses, they change their genders.
There is no stability over there. On the other hand, the extreme of just internal change is that, not doing any external change at all is, that one may become pathetic amidst atrocity. I talked about the South American Mayan tribe, you know, how it was conquered.
And, then, I talked about how, when we are trying to serve Krishna, we understand there are different channels by which our consciousness moves towards Krishna. So, the various relationships that we have, the various roles in those relationships, they are like channels. If we identify with the channel, and if the channel stops, we feel our life itself has stopped.
If we make any relationship our defining identity, then the problem in that relationship will be unbearable for us. But, if our defining identity is that I am a servant of Krishna, and all my relationships and the roles in those relationships are services to Krishna, then if one channel is not working, we will find some other channel and keep moving on. So, to find the channel that helps us keep moving on, we have to change the driving question from, why is this person behaving like this, to, how can I work now? And, because we live in a westernised environment where change is much more common, so, we can learn more about tolerance, and then I talked about some people, they appear insensitive, but they are desensitised.
So, they, it’s not that they want to irritate us, but they just don’t, they don’t get what is very important for us. So, both people have to change themselves. The person who is desensitised has to try to become a little more sensitive.
And the person who is more sensitive, that person has to become a little less expectant from the other person. And they discuss that everybody goes through difficulties. And even good people may sometimes behave in bad ways.
So, circumstantially if somebody behaves badly, then we should hold that against them as a permanent label. The same problem can weigh differently on different people. Just as the same cold can affect different people differently.
So, same problems, money problems may affect one person too much and another person not too much. So, rather than labelling a person because of some occasional bad behaviour, we are understanding that bad behaviour is like a leech biting. Let me just tolerate it and not pull out the skin.
So, we don’t want to get even in relationships. It’s like trying to kill a snake that has bitten us. We want to get back to Krishna.
Our relationships are not for our material gratification. They are for our spiritual evolution. So, rather than thinking of the relationship to be like a feast in a hotel, we see that it’s a food in a house.
It also has to be nourishing. It also has to be as good as possible. But the primary purpose is to move towards Krishna.
And then lastly I talked about when we are trying to find a channel to move towards Krishna, we change the question from why to how and in that there is dependence on Krishna for things which are outside our control and religions in Krishna, religions for Krishna, for things that are in our control. And if some of the problems are there, we know that Krishna is there with us and no matter what we are going through, because of karma, Krishna will get us through. We look beyond the problem to Krishna and we have seen with the eyes of faith that what is looking very bad for me in the present, Krishna sees the future and Krishna will bring good out of it in future.
Thank you very much. Hare Krishna. So are there any questions or comments? You can repeat.
You can ask the question. My question is with respect to changing the primary question from why to how but in many good cases knowing the why can help us prevent further damage. For example, if someone was… Ok, I got the question.
So isn’t it good to know the why also? See, I was talking about situations where we can’t know the why. If we can know the why, yes, we definitely know. If I got a disease, why did I get this disease? I should try to know that.
But somehow I have done 50 diagnostic tests and still nothing has been found out. Then, ok, how do I move forward now? Sometimes, I have back pain and nothing is working, so I have to learn to live with it. So, if we can know why, obviously we have intelligence and obviously we should use our intelligence.
But, sometimes with our intelligence we are not able to find answers. So then, what do we do? At that time, we stop obsessing over the why question and we move on in life. It’s not that we shouldn’t ask the why question.
It is only when the why question does not give us any answer. That time we stop obsessing on it and we move on with the how question. And in due course, the why may be answered.
Like I said about this boy whose car met with an accident. So then the girl got the answer to the why question later. So, it’s not that we should not ask the why question.
It’s that we should not let our consciousness be blocked by the why question. Many times, understanding helps us to move forward better. Sometimes, asking the why question can actually broaden the channel for our consciousness to move towards question.
Like I talked about some people being desensitised versus insensitive. So, if we understand that, then that can open the channel for the relationship better. This is why this person does like this.
Now I understand. So, why question is good. It can broaden understanding also.
But when it doesn’t, we shouldn’t let that question stop us. Yes, sir? You mentioned that we have to change our defining identity and make it self-conditional. And you also mentioned about the inner change versus external change.
So, is being conscious of our defining identity the core characteristic for making that inner change? Because could it so happen that we are engaging ourselves in so many practises superficially without having this characteristic because of which the energy is not happening? Correct. So, when I said that we should make our defining identity as servant of Krishna, then how do we, is that the inner change that is foundationally required? Sometimes we do a lot of external changes without doing this internal. It’s something which happens gradually.
Intellectually, I accept that I am a servant of Krishna. But practically, I have to function. So, I would say that it’s like when I am talking about inner change, I am not talking at the level of the soul.
I am talking at the level of the mind. And I am talking outer change, I am talking at the level of the body. So, we could say that the things which are not in our control for that is dependent on Krishna.
That means, okay, there is no change that I can do. Because the things that are in my control are diligence for Krishna. So, through both ways, through externally and through internally.
Physically, I do some things. Sometimes, we may find that our mind is just getting too caught. This worry, this worry, this worry, this problem.
Sometimes, to get out of the mind, just doing something physically. You go to a different place, just go for a walk, maybe come to a temple. Just do some physical action to get out of the head.
Sometimes, we may just be too caught in the head and to deal with the issue, we have to get out of the head. Because in the mind only, we are worrying about this, this, this, this. And sometimes, we are too caught in the world.
We have to get out of the world and get into the head. Don’t just keep doing things. Think properly.
So, both are required at times. So, what is required when sometimes, we are just running around doing too many things and not really pausing to think deeply. So, for people who are extroverts, just are more externally orientated, for them, maybe their pause is required.
Okay, just stop and think. What are you doing? For people who are introverts, their thoughts are running quite fast. Okay, get out of your head.
Do something physically. Sometimes, what happens is, with respect to relationships, if I am having a conflict with B, so now, if A is having a conflict with B, then a person who is an extrovert will go and tell C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P till Z. Everybody will tell, but he will not talk with B. On the other hand, a person who is an introvert will imagine all possibilities from A, B, C up to Z, but will not talk with B again. This may be this, this may be this.
Just go and talk. So, because A has been hurt by B, so A may feel, I don’t want to talk with B. I just want to tell others how much I have been hurt. Well, okay.
So, B may have to pause. Okay, let me find out what actually has happened. Why did they do like that? So, then pause, think, and then talk with B. So, for A, for the introvert, just stop going in the head.
This may be this, this may be this. Find out. Don’t just speculate, imagine like this.
So, depending on our disposition and our situation, we may sometimes need to get more into the head or sometimes we need to get more out of the head. So, the service to Krishna happens both through internal adjustment of our mind and our thought process, and it also happens through external actions in the service of Krishna. So, who, in what situation, what is needed more, that we will have to see.
Does it answer your question? So, it is not just an intellectual exercise? No, it is not just an intellectual exercise. Intellectual is one part of it, but practical is also involved. And basically, yes, we may go through externals, like we may chant the holy name, but we are not really thinking of Krishna, thinking that I am a servant of Krishna.
That’s fine, but through that process, gradually it will come. It is not that the conviction that I am a servant of Krishna is going to come overnight, and it is not that, I may think, you know, I am going to temple, I am going to this programme, I am going to that programme, but actually no transformation is happening, so I will stay at home. But is staying at home going to help me to develop that? It may, if I have a solid programme of spiritualising my consciousness while being at home, and I want to study Shastra, I want to do this, I want to do that, that’s okay.
So, we may each have to find out how best we can spiritualise our consciousness. But, it is not necessary that it has to be this way or that way alone. Okay, who is there? Thank you for the class.
I just have one question. Why did Yudhishthira approach, it was a timid approach towards Kauravas, like you said that Kauravas, they were poison, Okay, yeah, I got that. Why was Yudhishthira, why did Yudhishthira always tend to adopt that timid approach? I wouldn’t use the word timid because it has a negative connotation.
I would say, use the word non-confrontationalist approach. So, if you see, Kshatriya is not like a stereotype. Even on Kshatriyas there is variety.
So, if there is a situation of confrontation, if you see, Yudhishthira is at one extreme and Bhima is at other extreme. If there is a confrontation, try to avoid it as much as possible. So, Yudhishthira is more of a Brahminical Kshatriya.
But the Brahminical disposition is more in him. Whereas Bhima, you could say is a Kshatriya-Kshatriya. Kshatriya squared.
So, he is itching for a conflict. Come on, you did this, I’ll show you. But even then, he also follows Dharma to deal with the situation.
But each person has his own nature. And they’ll act according to their nature. So, Yudhishthira felt that the issue could be resolved by by his tolerance.
And that’s why he tried it already. But when it worked out, the issue could not be resolved. He also committed to the path of assertive action.
So, it’s not, it’s just a personality type. And in that particular situation, that strategy did not work. But that does not mean that that approach itself is wrong.
By his personality type, he took that approach. But Duryodhana was so obstinate that it didn’t work over there. Does that answer your question? Yes, please.
I could relate to the statement you said that sometimes if you get desensitised, that’s not going to be the same as being insensitive. So, like, we have limited capacity. So, one can’t be sensitive in all fields at all times.
So, my question is how to prioritise where to be sensitive and where we can be desensitised. Okay. So, if you are desensitised about several issues, then where should we endeavour to try to become more sensitive and where we can just keep things as they are.
In general, we relate with many different people. But not all relationships are equally important for us. So, those relationships which are more important, we have to put in more effort in that.
So, if you say that if, you know, all of us may have, say, may have 500 relationships, but out of that, 5 relationships will be the most important for us. So, then, in those relationships, I have to put in the most effort. Because the most important, it can be in 2-3 different ways.
Most important means that is the relationship in which you are spending the most time, most energy, most effort. It could also be that if that relationship goes wrong, the maximum problems are going to come. Or if that relationship goes right, the maximum fruit is going to come.
Or from that relationship, the maximum expectation is there for us. It could be in various ways. But we have to decide which relationship is most important.
And there we need to put in maximum effort. One of the easiest way to make ourselves miserable is to try to please everyone. In fact, you could say that there are psychologists call something called disease to please.
Disease to please. If I try to please everyone, just can’t do that. That doesn’t mean we go about displeasing everyone.
That’s not the point. We can be cordial with everyone. But we can’t just bend to everyone.
If I become spiritual, materialistic people will not be happy with me. If I become materialist, spiritual people will not be happy with me. So I can’t just be driven by what people want me to do.
So, we have to prioritise in terms of which relations are most important. And then try to become sensitised more and more in those relationships. Yes, sir.
Prabhuji, you have said that be a servant of Krishna. Have a faith in Krishna. But my question is, how should I become a servant of Krishna? Because faith, which is the way by which I could bring the faith in Krishna? So, how do we become a servant of Krishna? How do we develop faith in Krishna? Show me the way.
So, basically, faith is both a gift and a choice. Just like muscles. Some people have strong muscles.
And some people may not have strong muscles. But if they do workout, they do proper exercises, their muscles will become stronger. Similarly, all of us have certain faith from the past.
Our past life, our this life upbringing, whatever it is. So, we could say the faith that we presently have is a gift. And some people may have more, some people may have less.
But, with whatever faith we have, if we choose to do activities that will enhance our faith. Say, if I have very weak muscles, even if I go to a gym, I may have to lift a very light weight. But if I do that, gradually my muscles will improve.
So, similarly, if we just start doing devotional activities, if we come in the association of devotees, we hear the philosophy, we chant the holy names, we do kirtans, we do some seva, these are all activities which are meant to nourish our faith. So, the process of bhakti is both the beginner, it both begins with faith and also breeds faith. So, we all need some little faith.
So, actually, there are nine stages in the growth of bhakti, which I talked about in the Bhaktira Samva Sindhu. Adau Shraddha. With faith we begin.
Tau Shraddha Tatha Sadhu Sangh. Sadhu Sangh is, by faith we come in the association of devotees. Then, Bhajana Kriya.
We start doing some bhajans. We start chanting the holy names. Then, by that, our anger goes down.
Our fear, worry goes down. The negativities within us start going down. Then, when we see this Anartha Nivrtti, transformation happening, then that makes our faith much stronger.
That is the stage where the faith is called Nishtha. We have experienced it already. So, it’s Nishtha.
And then, from that, the struggles are much lesser. Then we go to Ruchi, Bhav, Asakti, and then there’s Prem. Love for Krishna.
So, Shraddha, which is the beginning point, is almost like a very tender faith. It is favourable curiosity. What are these people doing? Let me just find out.
Give them a hearing. So, with that faith which we have, we come in the association. And we do Sadhu Sangh.
And if we do Bhajana Kriya, then, when the Anartha Nivrtti happens, when we see ourselves being transformed, then the faith goes to a dramatically different level. So, at the level of Shraddha, the faith is like a banana tree. It can be easily shaken.
At the level of Nishtha, the faith is like a banyan tree. It can’t be shaken. So, if we follow this process of Sadhu Sangh, Bhajana Kriya, and Anartha Nivrtti, associating with devotees, practising the process of Bhakti, chanting and other things, and then we see the transformation.
Then our faith will become much stronger. Thank you. Hare Krishna Prabhuji.
Two days back, on your GitaDV blog, you had mentioned an article about to see ourselves as spiritual is good, to see others as spiritual is better, and to see everyone as spiritual is the best. Now, I want to understand this from the context of whatever we have discussed in these three days. During our interactions, which are so dynamic, you know, when we are interacting, energies are moving, thoughts are moving, words are moving, and you know, behaviours are completely conflicting with each other.
So, how do I apply this from a practical perspective in day-to-day interactions where, you know, you see myself also as spiritual and other person also as spiritual? So, what does seeing ourselves or seeing others, seeing everyone as spiritual mean practically in our functioning in the world? Actually, seeing ourselves spiritually at a very abstract level, what does it mean? Do I see beyond the body to see some spark in everybody’s heart? No. It simply means, at a functional level, we see ourselves as servants of Krishna. And, we see others also as parts of Krishna.
And, we see them as means by which we can serve Krishna, in different ways, depending on how that person is looking at it. So, fundamentally, as I said, if we can make our defining identity as a servant of Krishna, I’m doing my job in my office, I’m making the sales, I’m closing this deal, I’m navigating this, all this, I’m doing it as a servant of Krishna. This is my job.
This is my job is my service to Krishna. I’ll do this in the mood of service to Krishna. Now, for having that consciousness, we need to also have direct devotional contact with Krishna.
We need regular exposure to hearing classes, to studying scriptures, to associating with devotees. That will reinforce our conviction, our spiritual understanding that I’m a servant of Krishna. And then, when we are interacting with others, now, everybody is essentially spiritual.
They are all souls. But, practically, they may not be spiritual. They may be at various levels.
Some people may be little spiritual, some people may be more spiritual. Some people may be not spiritual at all. Some people may be anti-spiritual also.
So, there is equality of vision. But, that doesn’t necessarily mean there is equality of action. We have to respond to people in the appropriate way for them and for us.
Now, if there is a small cat, I may go and fondle the cat. But, if there is a tiger, I can’t go and fondle the tiger. Now, if there is a cat, I clap my hand, the cat will run away.
If there is a tiger, I clap my hand, I will go away. So, I may see that the cat is also, in the cat’s body also there is a soul and in the tiger’s body also there is a soul. But, I have to function differently, respond differently.
So, when it is non-human species, we can easily understand the difference. But, with respect to human beings also, we have to see how best can I do my service to Krishna while interacting with this person. Like earlier I said there are three options.
We serve with that person, we serve through that person or we serve in spite of that person. So, sometimes we serve through that person means that we spend time to tell them about Krishna, answer their questions, guide them and then the time that we are spending to cultivate them, that is a service to Krishna. Sometimes they are already spiritually inclined, then we work together with them.
I’ll do this, you do this, let’s do this together. And sometimes they are opposed to our spiritual life. Then, we have to find out an intelligent way to continue our devotional way without agitating them too much.
We serve in spite of them. So then, with such people, in general, with everyone, if we behave in a gentlemanly way. Prabhupada said, my disciples, my followers are perfect gentlemen.
That means, we behave in a cultured proper way. Broadly, we could say mode of goodness. Then, we create a positive impression.
They may not become devotees, but nice person. And that also is a step forward in their spiritual growth. So, some people, they may grow spiritually by taking up Krishna bhakti with us.
Some people may grow spiritually just by appreciating us. And some people, by our not speaking about Krishna at all, we will at least ensure that they don’t become more anti-Krishna. So, that may be our service to Krishna also.
Some people just don’t speak about it. It’s just too averse to it right now. So, with different people, we basically function as we normally function.
In terms of whatever we have to do, we do. But, we do it in a mood of service to Krishna and then that will gradually guide our actions as per situations. Does this answer your question? The mic is here? Here, here.
Yes, please. Guruji, tolerance is unconditionally in every situation and with everyone. Sometimes, it may lead to exploitation also.
Correct. So, at war stage, we have to continue with the tolerance. At war stage, we have to withdraw or shut off.
Okay. So, if we keep tolerating, we will get exploited. So, at what time do we stop tolerating and cut off or make some change? We have to see it in the light of our broader purpose.
My purpose is to serve Krishna. And, serving Krishna means, say for example, if we are giving a class, if there is a class going on and now there is some noise, say upstairs there is a noise, people are dancing. That’s a distraction but it is a minor distraction.
This can be tolerated. But, if somebody comes and starts screaming in the middle of the class itself, then we have to do something about it. Either we tell them to leave or we shift the venue of the class.
Isn’t it? So, if we keep our purpose clear that I have to make sure that I keep serving Krishna and then for my service to Krishna, this is troublesome but it is manageable. Then I tolerate it. But, for my service to Krishna, this is unbearable.
Then, I will work to change it. So, the purpose is what gives us the perspective of when to tolerate and when to mitigate or immigrate. So, seeing things in the light of the purpose.
Prabhupada writes in the 10th chapter, muddhir jnanam sammoham, 6 and 7, 5 and 6, there he says that that intelligence means to see things in their proper perspective. So, intelligence means to see things in their proper perspective. This is more important.
This is less important. So, we could say, tolerance means to keep small things small so that we can focus on big things. Yesterday, I gave the example, somebody is pushing us from our corner.
Then we just move somewhere aside and let that person have that space. If that person pushes us out of the local itself, then no. So, keep small things small.
But, they are being pushed out of the local, that’s a big thing. So, we can’t tolerate that. So, if we are doing service with a particular devotee or in a particular department and we find this is going wrong, that is going wrong, that is going wrong over there.
Now, do we just continue with our service and let other things just go on or do we have responsibility to report to some higher authority that all these things are going wrong. This, to some extent, will depend on individual nature. Some people can just do their own thing and not bother about other things.
They want to make other things also have to be right. I may not be officially having that service, but it is my responsibility to keep my eyes and ears open and see what is happening. So, then we may report and if that helps, that is good.
If that doesn’t help, we may decide, this is not the way things work over here. So, let me just continue doing my service. So, we don’t have to lock ourselves into any particular course of action.
We can decide that I am going to serve Krishna and at this stage maybe for this is difficult for me, but let me wait and watch, maybe for the next one month, next three months, next six months whatever, I will wait and watch, I will tolerate it and let’s see if things improve. If I decide things are not improving, things are only worsening, that the more I tolerate, the more I am getting exploited only. Then, I may decide, this is not the way I want to work.
So, we may have to make a change over there. So, basically, I would say that we have to make sure that our body and mind are stay conducive for our service to Krishna. How much will you tolerate? That the body and mind do not become become become so troubled that it obstructs our service to Krishna.
Another simple example, say, we are in a class and there are only a few chairs, we need a chair to sit on, but there is no chair. So, we decide, I will sit on the floor. Now, there is a little inconvenience we can manage that, but if it is causing enormous pain, then we may go out of the way and get a chair.
I know one devotee in UK and that devotee comes to the temple, that devotee has got severe back problems, that devotee comes to the temple with their own chair. The temple is actually on the first floor, so when they come to the temple, they have somebody carry the chair to the first floor. This is too much.
For that devotee, the pain is so much, he just can’t tolerate it. So, that’s what is required. So, just as with respect to the body, we understand.
Everybody is sitting on the floor, why do you need the chair? No, I need it. So, I get the chair. Similarly, just as we understand the physical is real, the mental also is real.
So, if a particular situation is agitating me too much, now somebody else in that situation may not be agitated, but I am agitated. Then if I am agitated, then I have a responsibility, just as I have my responsibility to ensure that my body is not too much in pain, I want to serve Krishna and if the body is too much in pain, I can’t serve Krishna. Similarly, I have a responsibility to make sure that my mind is not in too much pain.
So, if the mind is in too much pain, then I have to make some adjustment so that the pain goes down so that I can serve Krishna. Now, we could also go to the other extreme. We can say, hey, you got a chair here, but the chair has no cushion on the back.
The chair has no cushion on the floor. Now, we can’t be demanding comforts. There is basic facility that is required.
There is something that is necessary, something that is comfort. So, there may be some discomfort physical level, we tolerate it. But something which is a terrible pain, unbearable pain, we don’t have to tolerate it.
The same way, some people, it’s just a little uncomfortable dealing with them. We may deal with it. We may live with it.
But some people, it’s like unbearable pain. Just don’t know what to do. Oscar Wilde, the British thinker, he said that some people bring happiness wherever they go and some people bring happiness whenever they go.
So, you know, as soon as a person comes, it’s like it’s like the whole place has become like a minefield. What we do will cause boom! Explosion from them. We don’t know.
So, then it’s difficult to work with them. So, we have to, I would say, the limit of tolerance is that our body and mind should not be in such unbearable pain that becomes not just a distraction from our service to Krishna but that becomes an obstructor to our service to Krishna. So, just as physical pain is real and we will address it, similarly mental pain is also real in the sense that it really can distract or obstruct us and it needs to be dealt with.
So, last question. Can you speak about you start with tolerance and then they have to mitigate? Because I see a lot of couples who are fighting and they say, we tolerate immigration. Or can it be that you picked up the wrong time to tolerate and you should have mitigated first and that tolerance has backfired? Okay, I got your point.
So, I tolerate, mitigate, immigrate sequential, that we do one first and then the other. But sometimes people just when the limit of tolerating is crossed and they are so angry that they cannot mitigate, they just want to immigrate, they want to just quit entirely. So, it has become a pressure cooker that is now exploding practically.
So, yes, I wouldn’t say that these are necessarily sequential. They can also be parallel or they can also be independent. What I mean is that they all can be pursued with the purpose of serving Krishna.
So, for example, practically everybody they, throughout the week they work, the weekend they need a break. Don’t talk about the work now, just need a break. So, in a sense, what are we doing? We are emigrating.
The work is having some trouble, which is a burden for us. We are willing to face it, but not throughout our life. I need some break.
So, maybe at the weekend it’s a break. Maybe once a year, twice a year we go for some other places, travel. That’s also a break.
So, it’s not that emigration in a sense has to be permanent. It can be also temporary withdrawal from that situation. It can also help us recharge our batteries and help us to come back and deal with the situation.
So, if there is some conflict, is it that we just have to tolerate or should we try to mitigate? Yeah, I think mitigating is clarifying with each other, communicating honestly and sensitively. Not just honest means I convey my feelings clearly. But I also have to be considerate about other person, how they are going to feel.
So, we are sensitive also. But communication is very important. And if communication is not there, then basically we could say that in the other person there can be three broad things.
There are some things we can change with a little effort. Some things which changing them requires a huge effort. And some things that they just don’t want to change.
So, now if something that is troubling us is in the first category, with a little effort they can change it. But we don’t communicate only tolerating and tolerating. I tolerated so much for you.
That is not a big deal. I could have changed it earlier only. So, there is something which is very difficult for them to change.
Then we may have to tolerate that. But just communicating helps us understand where that person is coming from. And some people may say there is nothing wrong with me.
So, everybody had problems with that authority. This authority shouts at everyone. I was talking with that authority saying, if they listen to what I told I would have to shout at them.
So, even if they listen you don’t have to shout. You can communicate properly. But rather than accepting any responsibility that I am doing something wrong because they are not doing right that’s why I am shouting.
Well, that may not be the best way to work. That means there is no intention to change only. There is not even acknowledgement that something needs to be changed.
So, through communication where that person is coming from becomes clear. So, we could say communication is a part of mitigation. Again, when I talk about these three alternatives they may not be watertight also.
Sometimes, one particular measure that is done is part tolerance, part mitigation. Or sometimes it may be part tolerance and part immigration also. These two things you decide that we are working together.
Finances, I will take care. Aesthetics, you take care. This is your department, this is my department.
Everybody needs their, in Sanskrit it’s called Kshetra. Kshetra is sphere of influence, sphere of control. So, sometimes we just demarcate the areas of control and then that is not exactly emigration but still that is like we create some distance.
So, that also helps. So, these are just, I would say tolerate, mitigate, immigrate are broad guidelines. At the practical level, the boundaries between them may be porous.
So, we have to basically make sure that the issue is resolved. Either the issue is resolved through tolerance or through mitigating or through immigrating. The issue has to be addressed.
Does that answer your question? Okay. So, can you talk personally? It’s a great time. So, thank you very much for coming to these three days and yeah.
I hope and pray that whatever we discussed, it helps you to grow in your spiritual life and in all aspects of your life and that we can all by the shelter of Krishna, we can whatever life sends our way, we face it more maturely and we grow towards that. Thank you very much. Shri Prabhupada ki Gaur Bhakta Vrinda ki Tai Gaur Premanade