Our goals are the results we seek – how can we set goals but be detached from results?

Transcript

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So in a sense, the goal that we dream about is the result that we want to get. So how can we, since the goal and the result are the same thing, how can we attach to the goal and detach from the result? Yeah, it is, see the word attachment and detachment, for all of us, they invoke certain emotions in us. Sometimes if we are spiritual, we will say, if we are materialistic, we will say, so let’s not get caught in every situation in our life and we can only focus on and improve that and that which is not in our control.
How it will work out, we don’t know. If we are spiritual, we understand there is something in our control and when you’re saying be attached to the goal, that means focus on what being detached from the result means, stop worrying about that which is not. So I’ll give two examples, preparing for some exams, and say there are five papers, student has studied very well for one paper, focus on that, we can’t let ourselves be caught in the past.
Okay, even if I could, I made a silly mistake in this, okay I made a mistake, I made a mistake, now move on, that is not, no longer in my control, but tomorrow is a new exam, that So when you’re saying, say, we focus on the goal, that means that, okay, you want to achieve this goal and this is the process I want to follow to get back to that goal and I’ll follow this process as well as I can. But now, when that exam is over, whether I did it well, I could have done it better, that’s over now, that chapter is over, just move on, now a new chapter has begun, let me focus on that. So after that exam has been given, what result I’m going to get is not in my control, so let go of the things that are not in our control, that is what detachment means, detachment from results.
Similarly, with respect to interactions, if we talk about relationships, if there is some conflict between two people, and then you want to address the conflict, so now how we conduct ourselves during the confrontation, sometimes if there are some festering issues, we may have to confront the other person and we have to discuss the issue, we can’t just keep that mood festering, so then when we discuss that issue, so at that time, how we behave and how we present our case, how we present our concerns, whether we approach in a very judgmental, accusatory way, or we try to approach in a objective, reasonable way, that’s up to us, now how the other person is going to respond is not in our control, so be attached to the goal means, if I go into the conflict resolution only thing is, this person is never going to understand, this person is just like this and this person is never going to improve, nothing is going to improve, it’s just a waste of time, then even going into that confrontation is a waste of time only, if I go totally with a pessimistic attitude, then that will come out in my demeanor itself, I will speak in a negative way, I will cast aspersions on the other person while I am speaking, and I will do many possibility of resolution, so when I am going in, I can go in with the goal that I want this issue to be unequivocally resolved, so I will express my concern, the other person has some concern, I will try to hear them, so I can focus on how I can bring my best ability of discussion, so that is the focus on what is in my control, but sometimes despite our doing that, other person just reacts in an unreasonable way, and things just don’t work out, okay, we did our part, move on now, so that means rather than looking at the world of detachment and attachment, we can say focus on the goal, don’t focus on the result, because focusing on the goal helps us to bring out our best, focusing on the result simply makes us feel insecure, because the result is not in our control, does that answer your question?