Tap the mind dont be trapped by the mind 2 – Why mind control backfires

[Seminar at ISKCON, Seattle, USA]

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Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om Om That is a pointless task. Suppose I am feeling bored. I am feeling lonely.
I am feeling depressed. These are these feelings which come. Sometimes they may have some specific causes.
Sometimes we may not even be able to make out what the specific cause is. Sometimes when we chant, we feel such a taste. I feel chanting should never end.
I want to keep chanting. Such power, such strength, such beautification I feel. Some days we feel chanting never ends.
It is just going on and on and on. When does this end? Sometimes we take out the beads from our bead bag. Instead of 108, there are 1008 beads.
We try to put anything we can. So, our mind will go through different moods. And if we try to engage with the emotions of the mind, especially when we feel the negative emotion over there, then if we try to engage with it, why am I feeling like this? Then I should not be feeling like this.
That actually is something which just weighs us. Krishna says in the 14th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita that there are three moods of material nature which affect our consciousness. And when Arjuna asks, how does one go beyond the moods? So, 14.21, he asks three questions.
कईलिंगाईस्त्रिन्गुणानेतान् अतितोभर्तिप्रभुकिमाचार्यन्कतंचेतांस् त्रिन्गुणान् अतिवर्तते He says, what are the characteristics of one who has transcended the moods? What is the process, what is the behaviour of such a person? So, characteristics refers to the inner disposition. Behaviour refers to the externals. And then last is कतंचेतांस् त्रिन्गुणान् अतिवर्तते How do I transcend the moods? So, the remaining chapter of the Gita answers these three questions.
So, 22 and 23 according to chapter describe कैलिंगाईस्त्रिन्गुणानेतान् अतितोभर्तिप्रभुकिमाचार्यन्कतंचेतांस What are the inner characteristics of such a person? 24 and 25 describe the behaviour of such a person. 26 describes the process, which is भक्तियोगा. So, there when Krishna is talking about the inner characteristics, लिग्र, He says that प्रकाशं चे प्रवृत्ति चे बोहमेव चे पाण्ड़व नत्वेश्टी संप्रलतानी ननिरुत्तानी कांचती उदासीन वदासीनं गुणईत्यो नविचायते गुणावर्तन्ति येव योवतिष्ठतिने इगते So, he says प्रकाशं चे प्रवृत्ति चे बोहमेव चे पाण्ड़व These are terms which Krishna used about 10 verses earlier, 14.11, 12 and 13 to refer to the three modes.
प्रकाशं चे प्रवृत्ति चे बोहमेव चे पाण्ड़व All the doors of the body are illumined with the light of knowledge. So, light of knowledge means that when we say, if this door is there in the room and the door area is dark, then we don’t know who is coming in, who is going out. Even if a child has to be monitored, if a child slips away, we don’t notice it also.
Or if some thief comes in, we don’t notice, the door area is dark. Door area is illumined, we can see who is coming in and we can decide, oh, this person, I have to keep an eye on this person. This person, no, we are not going to let them in.
So, similarly, when the doors of the senses are illuminated with knowledge, at that time, we understand what to let in and what to let out. We may feel certain emotions, should I speak it or not speak it? We can discern carefully. There are certain sights out there, should I see that or should I not see that? We can discern this.
So, प्रकाश is a characteristic of the mode of goodness. And normally, we would say, प्रकाश is good. In an illumined state, I need to think properly, act wisely.
This is good. But Krishna says, this is one state which will come because of the mode. प्रकाशिंच प्रवृतिंच.
प्रवृति means, I want to act, act. Do this, do this, do this, just run around, do things. So, when we are in the mode of passion, we are running around like a fan.
Especially our mind. The fan goes round and round and round and round. But the fan doesn’t go anywhere.
It stays there. At least, the fan cools the room. When we are in the mode of passion, we may be physically running or not running, but our mind is running.
Do this, do this, do this. And none of them, you give amount of thought to it. So, do this, but I didn’t think about this.
Then I come back over. Then I go over. And then, the mind goes round and round like a fan.
The fan cools the air, but our mind heats us up. Do this, do this, do this, do this. Feel as if my head is aching now.
So, passion means you just feel intent to act. And then, this is 14.12. 14.32, Krishna says, मोह, मोह is Jeev Ji. He tells us, जो होना है, वो होना है.
Whatever happens, it happens. I just don’t care. That is the mode of ignorance.
See, some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And some people wonder what happened.
So, those who make things happen are in goodness. Those who watch things happen, they are in passion. They actually want to do a lot of things.
But they start one thing, and this consequence, that problem. I didn’t think about this. So, just watch what is happening.
I speak one sentence to someone, and then, by a chain of chance, whisper something else and it only goes to somebody else. I never said that. Why did it happen? So, that way, you watch things happen.
And some people, in the mode of ignorance, they wonder what is happening. They are just lost in their own stupid. So, Krishna says, प्रकाश, प्रवृत्ति and मोह, the characteristics of the three modes.
प्रकाशं चे प्रवृत्तिं चे, मोह फ्रीवचे पांड़व, न द्रिश्ति संप्रवृत्तानी, Why is that? कुदाल्पसीनम् Be situated as if detached. गुणोयियो नविचालिते, Don’t be shaken by the modes. गुणाहवर्पन्केदेव, यो अवतिष्ठति नेंगते, Yo avatishthati nengate, Understand that this is caused by the modes.
And नेंगते, This does not affect me, the soul. Now what does this actually mean? Now what does this actually mean? Why is Krishna saying that we should not crave for say the mode of goodness? Why should we not look forward or want the clarity of the mode of goodness? And why should we not want to avoid the confusion or haziness of the mode of ignorance? Naturally, the clarity of goodness will be much better than the haziness of ignorance. That is true.
And Krishna himself gives the process of Bhakti Yoga by which we can rise towards goodness and ultimately come towards transcendence. But during the process of purification that is happening, we can’t wish away the influence of the modes. So Krishna is here basically talking about acceptance.
This is my overall mental state right now. I accept it. Now unless we accept where we are, we can’t go somewhere else.
Suppose I am travelling by car and I have taken a wrong turn and I have gone somewhere. Off track. Now to get back to where I want to go, I need to accept.
Suppose I have my GPS and GPS is showing you are over here. No, no, I am not there. I am here.
No, it is here. We have to accept where we are and then we have to set a path again to get to the destination. If I still deny, no, I am not here.
Then, if we deny where we are, we can’t go where we want to go. So accepting that okay, I have some influence of passion on me. I have some influence of ignorance on me.
Accepting doesn’t mean perpetuating. It’s not that we just want to stay where we are. But as long as I keep denying where I am, my energy is going and denying, no, you are here.
No, I am not here. The energy which could be used for going to our destination gets dissipated in denying where we are. So Krishna says don’t spend time in denying.
Just understand this is where you are and focus on being fixed in the path of purification. So for example, so I gave one example of the weather. Now, if we are too caught with the weather, it’s so cold today.
It’s so hot today. It’s so rainy today. Then, if we have to go out somewhere for the work, sometimes we are just internally resenting the weather so much that by the time we get to the work, our mind is drained because we are internally battling.
One of the most unproductive forms of battle is battle against reality. The reality is it’s cold. Why is it cold? Why is it cold? So in a sense, tolerance means to end our war with reality.
To end our war with reality. I’m going to tolerate the cold. What does it mean? I’m no longer going to resent it.
That doesn’t mean I’m simply going to let the cold control what I’m going to do. But I tolerate it. Tolerance means to end our war with reality.
So another word could be acceptance. I accept it. If we just need to accept the weather how it is and then we move on.
If I’m just not willing to accept this cold, why is it cold? Why is it cold? Then I’m wasting my energy. I’m wasting my energy. So if somebody is complaining about the weather, why is the weather like this? What can you do about it? But the same applies to our mind and our emotions also.
So when we use the word emotions, we can use them in two distinct senses. Krishna uses a very intriguing term in the second chapter of the Bhagavad Gita. In 2.70, it says apuryamanamachalapratishtham samudramapah pravishanti yadvat tadvat kamayam pravishanti sarve sashantimapnati nakamakam So the verse says it’s a well-known metaphor that just as rivers flow into an ocean various desires flow into the consciousness of a self-realised person but this is that ocean does not overflow.
Similarly, the self-realised person is not disturbed by the flow of desires. So the key word which I’ll focus on here is kamakami. It’s interesting.
Kami is a lusty person or a desirous person. But kamakami means the desirer of desire. Kamakami, the desirer of desire.
Now what does this mean? It’s interesting Krishna is talking about desires as something flowing into our consciousness. Normally we think of desires as something flowing out of our consciousness. I see a gulab jamun.
I want to eat that. So what is happening? The object is out there and the desire flows from me to that object. So we think of desires as flowing out from us to objects.
But here Krishna is talking about desire as something flowing into us. So there are two things over here. Some object might be out there and I see it and then the input of that perception comes into my consciousness.
The world is filled with so many objects and they create certain reactions within us when we perceive them. If we see some very ugly, dirty kind of sight, we might just, if we see here there is a foul smell, we turn away from it. So basically we perceive something and some stimula from outside creates a reaction within us.
So the stimulus from outside coming in that is like a river flowing into the ocean of consciousness. It has to create a particular response. Say now somebody has got a scar on their face.
Normally we may see it and we may just be taken aback. But then if we are in culture, we will not glare at it. We will not show any sign that it is there.
We just talk with it like normal. So what happens, we are capable of, we may perceive certain things and there may be certain instinctive reactions. But we don’t act on those reactions.
So somebody may be say they have depression or something, they will indistinguishable. We can’t not look at it, we can’t not notice it. But we don’t have to focus on it.
We see it but we don’t focus on it. So the stimulus will come from outside in. But the reaction, we control it.
We don’t exhibit it ourselves. And this is actually a part of cultural behaviour. In the first conversation with Bhagavatam, when Krishna is departing from Hastinapur to Dwaraka, at that time the Hastinapur was in the Pandavas and others there, distressed.
And then the Guru ladies tears start coming from their eyes. But they keep their tears inside. Why? Because when a warrior is departing, to show tears is considered inauspicious.
So sometimes love is expressed by revealing our emotions. And sometimes love is expressed by concealing our emotions. Say if you have a child and the child is going to college far away and the teenager or whatever and he or she is also indecisive, should I go or not go.
And the mother is feeling so much separation. How will my child live? And if the mother starts crying at that time, the child is also crying. Mother starts crying.
I will not go anymore. Now the mother may love the child, but at that time the mother will control the emotions. So sometimes love is expressed by, love is shown by how we express our emotions.
And sometimes love is shown by how we conceal our emotions. So I am giving this as an example to show that certain stimulus may trigger a certain reaction within us, but we have the capacity to not exhibit that reaction, not act on that reaction. So when Krishna says na kama kami what he means is from outside certain stimuli will come.
And those stimuli may create some desire within us. But we don’t accept that desire. We don’t act on that desire.
So we could talk about desire in two senses over here. Two meanings of the word desire. Desire as temptation coming in and desire as intention going out.
Desire as temptation coming in. I see a gulab jamun. I would like to eat it.
That is desire as temptation coming in and I would like to eat it and I start doing something. Then it is intention going out. But Krishna Acharya Dharam gives the example, might be a delicious feast but it is Ekadashi.
I am not going to do this. So the desire as temptation is still coming but as intention we don’t let it come out. So this is an example.
Now if I start claiming that the gulab jamun is not there only. How can you say it is there? I can’t deny the presence of the gulab jamun. But I can’t choose not to act on that and intend to take it and take it.
So there can be a stimulus outside if I say there is no gulab jamun over here. No, the gulab jamun is there. And trying to deny the reality of the gulab jamun makes it useless anyway.
I don’t want to focus on it. If I focus on it, the craving becomes stronger. But denying it also has no use.
So on the negative side, if I say that suppose I have got a car which is not working very well and I want to sell it now. And it is there in my garage it is lying idle and I don’t have any prospect to sell it for the next one month. If the market is down or the agent is not there or whatever.
Now for that one month I can keep resenting. Why is this car there in my garage? Why is it taking my space? But I don’t have to try to get rid of that car. If one month is not possible I don’t have to take a iron bar and smash the car and try to destroy it.
If the car is not working so well I am not comfortable in the car, I don’t have to drive that car also. I can use some other vehicle. I can get some other car.
The car is present over there. I don’t have to deny its presence. And its presence is not very palatable for me.
It’s an old car. It’s not functioning so well. I want to get rid of it.
So I have a way to get rid of it. But while it is present I don’t fight its presence. I accept its presence and move on with my life.
This is the same applies to emotions in our consciousness. These two examples one of say some item present in Ekadashi. That’s a positive.
It creates some desire in us. Unwanted car that creates a maybe some aversion. I don’t want it here.
I wish I could just sell it quickly. Fine. But while it is there we accept it.
So acceptance doesn’t in any sense mean approval. So I am feeling angry right now. It’s not that I want to feel angry.
It’s not that I approve anger. But it is present. And denying it, I should not be feeling angry.
You are feeling angry. What can I do about it? If you tell somebody if somebody is very worried I am feeling very worried. Don’t feel worried.
What do you mean don’t feel worried? I am worried. So it depends on different people but when the worry is there it is there. When you say don’t worry that what we are actually meaning is don’t spend your time thinking so much about it.
Think about something else. Just say don’t worry. It’s like I tell somebody I am feeling cold.
Don’t feel cold. What do you mean don’t feel cold? Feeling cold is not something which is in my control. I am feeling cold.
But we can do something about it. Maybe you do some physical exercise and generate some heat by which you don’t feel so much cold. Or wear some warm clothes.
Or go to some other place. So when we say don’t worry, what it means is that don’t focus so much on that thought of worry. Focus on something else and then you will not feel so worried about it.
So again going back to the point, worry as a stimulus is coming into me. Maybe there is some situation maybe I have an exam. I don’t know how the exam will be done.
I have a job interview or my job is at lunch time. I don’t know what my boss is going to do. That is going to cause worry to me.
In this case worry is like the river flowing into the ocean. If the river is flowing into the ocean, I can’t deny that it is going to flow into the ocean. It is.
But what I can do is I don’t have to let that input transform into an output. If I start thinking about it a lot. I can think about it in both ways.
One is that I just get carried away by the worry. And the worry comes in. What if this happens? And then I start thinking.
What if I lose my job? What if I lose my job? How will I pay the mortgage for my house? If I can’t pay the mortgage for the house then the owner will come and drive me out. What if he drives me out? What if I don’t get a new house? People on the streets, also freezing cold. What will we do? Right now I am cold because of AC.
But I am thinking I will be cold because of being on the streets. So here what has happened we have let our mind get carried away by it. We just got carried away with the thought that came in the mind.
So yes. I have some uncertainty about my job because of which I am feeling worried. So that worry as an input is there.
But one way I can engage with it is just go along with whatever it is telling. So our mind is a very expert storyteller. Storyteller means it will take one stimulus one perception and spin a whole story based on it.
This must be like this. And when a person is a very good storyteller good storytellers have three characteristics. First is that when they start telling story we forget everything else.
Second is that they tell a story in such an attractive way that we suspend our sense of disbelief. Actually when we are watching movies or anything like that unless we suspend our rationality or suspend our scepticism. You have Superman or Batman doing all kinds of unbelievable things.
But if all the time this can’t be done. Then you can’t enjoy the movie. So the expertise of the director is such that they make us suspend our disbelief or at least suspend our scepticism.
Just go along with it. And third is when a story is being told it induces emotions in us. If a tragedy is going on if a movie is a tragedy and if it doesn’t make me cry then it’s not a very good movie.
If somebody is telling a humorous story and doesn’t make me laugh neither the story is not very good or the storyteller is not very good. So basically when a good story is told these three things happen. We forget everything else.
We start at least temporarily believing whatever is being told and we start getting the same emotions our emotions start changing according to the narrative of the story. So our mind is also very exposed to it. So once it starts telling a story we just forget everything else.
So for example one thing goes wrong. I go to office and when I’m in office my boss gives me a strange look. And then I start thinking my boss is going to fire me.
How did he look like that? And from that one stimulus some people they love to dominate conversations. They just start talking something they get some stimulus. If you tell them I had a fever.
Oh you know I had a fever 10 years ago. They take that one statement I had a fever to start telling a whole story. And they just go on and on like that.
So the mind can take anything as a stimulus. Oh my boss looked at me with a strange look. And that becomes a trigger for the mind to tell a story.
The mind starts a not just a story, it starts a horror movie. And in that horror movie we are not the spectators. We are the victims.
It’s all happening to us. So that way when the mind starts telling things it basically makes us forget everything else. It starts telling a story.
Okay. We have to do some work here right now. We just forget everything else.
We get lost in whatever the mind is telling us. That’s the first thing. Second is it makes us suspend our sense of disbelief.
Okay, yes. In one sense with respect to possibility anything can happen. For that matter, I don’t want to speak of losing a job.
At this moment this roof may cave in and we may die. Possibility, anything is possible. But we can’t live our life filled with fear of possibilities.
A, if I’m driving a car any time a car accident can happen. But because of that I can paralyse and never drive a car. I won’t be able to move around.
There are possibilities and there are probabilities. Probability means if my car’s brake has failed and I’m driving the car, then an accident is not just a possibility. It is a probability.
I have to be much more prepared for it. So what happens is the mind just takes some possibility and makes it appear not just as a possibility but as an inevitability. It’s soon going to happen.
And we just start getting completely consumed by that. So the mind makes us suspend our sense of disbelief. So when the mind starts telling a story, we no longer evaluate it objectively or critically.
We just accept it. What if this happens? And then after that we start getting the same emotions. So if the story is you lose your job, oh my god, what will happen to me? This will go wrong, that will go wrong.
We start feeling fear, start feeling dismay, start feeling depression. We may even get a panic attack. All that happens because the mind started telling the story and went along with the story.
So I’m talking about all this to say that when certain emotions come in the mind, we need to engage with them. One extreme would be, I shouldn’t feel like this. I shouldn’t feel worried.
That’s like saying, you don’t feel cold. That’s not really my control. I feel worried.
So on the other extreme is, I just go along with it. So I feel cold. I won’t go out of the house.
I’ll stay here. I won’t do anything. So when the emotion comes, resenting the emotion or giving in to the emotion.
Denying the emotion or giving in to the emotion. Both are unhealthy responses. What we need to do is just accept the presence and move on.
Yes, like the car is there in my garage. I can’t sell it now. I accept it as there.
I move on. So Krishna says, For those people for whom the outer stimulation doesn’t transform into an inner intention. From outside to inner, stimulation comes.
From inside to out, an intention goes. So when the stimulation doesn’t transform into intention. So I feel, my boss gives me a strange look and that is stimulation that has come in.
Why did that transform into, I get carried away and I get worried about it. That is where it will get controlled. But if it doesn’t transform into an intention, then I won’t be so distracted.
Yes, it is there. I acknowledge. So, this worry is there in my consciousness.
But I don’t engage with it in any way. I don’t engage with it to get rid of it. Nor do I engage with it to embrace it.
I just accept its presence and move on. There are many places where Krishna tells us to be equipoised in happiness and distress. What is he telling? For example, in 5.20 he says, Don’t delight when you get the pleasant.
Don’t be dejected when you get the unpleasant. So here, Krishna is at one level acknowledging that there are things which are pleasant and there are things which are unpleasant. He is not saying we should think of them as pleasant or unpleasant only.
Yes, there are certain which are pleasant and certain which are unpleasant. But Krishna says, don’t get carried away with it. So, what applies to physical sensations? Also applies to mental emotions.
Sometimes you get pleasant emotions, sometimes you get unpleasant emotions. And don’t get elated when you feel very good. And don’t feel dejected when you feel very bad.
Why? Because these emotions are like weather. They will come and they will go. So don’t Krishna says, So, actually if you see what that verse says, So, he is saying that happiness and distress are just like heat and cold.
So, in a sense, he is saying the mental weather is like the environmental weather. So, environmental weather comes and goes, you tolerate. Similarly, mental weather will come and go, tolerate it.
Now, how do we do this? In principle, you may say, it’s nice. Just acknowledge the presence, but don’t act on it. If I say, I am feeling depressed, I am feeling angry, I am feeling grimy.
What do I do practically? I acknowledge the presence, but don’t engage with it, don’t resent it. What it essentially means is we have a positive direction for our life. So, if I have a car which I can’t sell, and I am sitting at my home, I have nothing to do.
Then again, oh, I can’t sell this car. Why is this car taking space? If I have nothing to do, the thought of the car will immediately come to me. But, if I have somewhere to go, if I have something to do, then I will keep doing that and I won’t think so much about the car.
So, we need to have some positive engagement. So, for example, say, if we have come to a place, say, if we have come to a temple, and there is some person with whom we don’t get along, and that person also comes. Sometimes, the mind is so distracting that when we come to the temple, we are not as conscious of Krishna as we are conscious of that person.
Where is he sitting? What is he doing? Is he talking about me? What is he doing? We are so conscious about that person. So, at one level, attachment is a distraction. If you are attached to someone, you are thinking, where is he going? What is he doing? But, aversion is also an equal distraction.
So, attachment distracts us from Krishna. Aversion can also distract us from Krishna. So, if somebody is unwanted is there, we may not like their presence, but we just know that they are present.
If they glance at us, we just acknowledge, greet them. We don’t have to go and talk with them. Nor do we have to go and tell someone, get this person out of here.
If we have something purposeful to do, we can acknowledge their presence, but we move on with what we have to do. So, that is what Krishna is saying over here that नप्रहरशेत प्रियं प्राप्पे नोधुजेत प्राप्प जाप्रियं स्थिरपुद्धि असमूरो ब्रह्मवित ब्रह्मनि स्थिताः स्थिरपुद्धि, have your intentions fixed. What does it mean? ब्रह्मवित ब्रह्मनि स्थिताः Know that you are spiritual and become situated in the spiritual realm.
So, going back to yesterday’s discussion, there is a physical level of reality, fictional level of reality and spiritual level of reality. So, at the physical level, when something unpleasant comes, if we try to say, yesterday my whole theme was that, we run away from the physical, the hope of pleasure, to the fictional. By fictional I mean general metaphor, for any way in which we escape reality.
It can be drugs, it can be movies, it can be devices, whatever. Now, today’s thrust is that, what do we do when something unpleasant comes at the fictional level? If I start saying that I should not feel like this, that just doesn’t work. Because I am feeling like that.
And, also, so one thing is, like the water, the river is coming into the ocean. I can’t say this river should not come into the ocean. The river is going to come anyway.
That particular stimulus is present out there. So, what do we do? Most often, we try to get rid of this or we go away from here to here. We go away from the physical to fictional world.
Because we can’t tolerate this unpleasant physical sensation or unpleasant mental emotion. But what Krishna says is, I can move upwards from the physical to the spiritual. So, sthiramudhir asam mudho brahmavik brahmanisthita With fixed intelligence, mood becomes situated on the spiritual platform.
This emotion is going to come and it is there. But asam mudho, I won’t get deluded by it. I won’t engage with it.
Either in resenting it or in embracing it or in acting on it. It is there. I stick to my purpose of moving towards Krishna.
Of doing something constructive in the service of Krishna. If we are not having that as our purpose, then we act to try to get rid of that emotion. Oh, I am feeling bored.
So, what should I do? Let me watch some movie. Let me just start talking with someone. Now, talking with someone is good.
But if I don’t have anything to talk, then we end up gossiping. And that is not of much use. So, even a good activity, if I do it simply as a means to escape the negative which I don’t want to experience over here.
We do various activities in order to escape the negative but we just can’t escape it. It keeps coming back. So, we have to rise to a higher level of consciousness.
So, that is the process of bhakti yoga ultimately. But that will be the part of the discussion in our last class where right now what I am going to talk about is becoming an observer of our emotions. Okay, this emotion has come.
I accept it as present. But I stick to my purpose. So, earlier I told that when the mind is an expert storyteller, it does three things when it starts telling the story.
It makes us forget everything else. It makes us suspend our sense of disbelief. And it stimulates within us, triggers within us the same emotions.
Emotions according to its storyline. So, now we in order to not engage in the emotions of the mind, we have to avoid this. That means that when the mind starts telling some narrative, Oh no! If I lose my job, this will happen, this will happen, this will happen.
So, at that time, we just stop hearing the story. When the mind starts telling a story, we stop hearing it. Because once we start hearing it, it will make us forget everything else.
That is its power. So, how do I avoid that? It’s primarily when I just get I have nothing else to do. Yes, I will leave it.
If you look at the story of Mantara and Kaikeyi, you can say Kaikeyi represents the mind. Sorry, Mantara represents the mind. Mantara started telling the story and Kaikeyi started hearing the story.
Yes. What was the Mantara story? There is a whole conspiracy against you and your son by which you will be deprived of the kingdom. And first Kaikeyi said no.
She said Ram and Bharat love each other. That will never happen. So, initially she had some sense of scepticism.
She said Kaikeyi said no. She said you don’t know the ways of kings. Once they get power, they will destroy anyone whom they see as a threat.
Kaikeyi said, what are you speaking? No, Ram will become the king and after him maybe Bharat will become the king. There is no animosity between them. She said no.
Bharat will not become the king. After Ram, this son will become the king and Bharat will be sidelined. And Ram he will never want Bharat to become the king.
He will say Bharat is a threat. If there were nothing wrong over here, why is this celebration, coronation happening in such a place? Why is it happening when Bharat and Kshatriya Purana are not present? Oh! I never thought of that. And that, from that point onwards, Kaikeyi’s sense of scepticism got suspended.
You don’t understand. Kaushalya was the chief queen. But now you are the eminent queen of the king.
So she wants to assert your position. That’s why she has made this whole conspiracy. Once she becomes, once her son becomes the king, she will become the royal mother.
And she will make you her servant. And Bharat, he will be reduced to a servant of Ram. Ram may even exile Bharat.
Wow! She started spinning the whole story. And she started believing it. And by the end of it, the emotions Manthara wanted, Kaikeyi had the emotions.
Kaikeyi had tremendous anger towards Ram, anger towards Dashrath, anger towards Kaushalya and everyone else. And her whole emotional state changed. The Ramayana says that Kaikeyi was wise, gentle and kind.
But after hearing Manthara, she became foolish, cruel and harsh. She changed completely. So this is the nature of the mind.
When it starts telling the story, it can completely distort our perspective. So what do we do? We have to stop hearing the story. Sometimes some sales people are there.
They may make a phone call. Now if you know… If some of your sales people, please forgive me. Now when they make a phone call, if you pick up the phone and try to tell them, why I don’t want to purchase this.
And they will find out reasons why you should purchase this. Because they are so expert in marketing that if it’s a new sales person, he will say that… If it’s a car sales person, he will say that. So sir, make a speech and say, so, would you like to buy a car? But if it’s an experienced sales person, he will say, so sir, which car would you like to buy? The red one, the blue one or the green one? See, freedom is never taken away as easily as it is by giving the illusion of freedom.
When I give somebody the illusion of freedom, oh, you are choosing, which car would you like to have? Red or green only? Actually, the more fundamental question is, do I want the car also? But among those three options, that option of not taking the car has been taken away. But because I think, apparently I think I have some freedom. So, when the mind makes us angry, then the mind says, should you go and shout at that person or should you go backbiting about that person or should you send anonymous mass mail about that person? The mind gives us options.
But all three options are bad options. Whether I need, whether my anger is actually based on actual fact or not, whether it is worth getting angry or not, I don’t consider it. So, just as the sales people are expert, it’s best not, if you don’t want to purchase it, don’t immediately take it.
If you pick up the phone, they will pursue this. So, just don’t pick up the phone. Here, when we say that we can’t, when we say we shouldn’t engage with it, what does it mean? Both saying yes to that, I’m worried.
Oh, I get carried away with the worry. Or saying, no, I don’t want to feel worried. Both are forms of engagement.
And in both ways, we come under the control of the mind. At the mental level, we can’t not think of something. Say, if I touch this mic, and somehow there is an electric current going through this, I get an electric shock.
So, I move my hand away. The rest of the class, I won’t touch this mic. Because I know there is a shock over here.
So, if a physical object, if I choose to, I can choose not to touch a physical object. But with respect to things in the inner world, we can’t choose not to think of something. If I say, I will not, if I tell you all of you, for the next 30 seconds, please don’t think of a pink monkey.
Please don’t think of a pink monkey. Throughout your life, you may have never thought of a pink monkey. But in those 30 seconds, pink monkey, pink monkey, pink monkey.
Just keep popping up in your mind. So, with respect to the mental world, we can’t not think of things. What we can do is, we can think of something else.
But I try to say, no, I shouldn’t feel angry. I shouldn’t feel worried. I shouldn’t feel depressed.
No, we are still engaging with the depression. And by engaging with it, we are coming under its control. Whether from positive engagement or negative engagement, both forms of engagement, they basically change the terms of engagement of the purpose of your function.
There are some, like I said, freedom is never taken away as effectively as by giving an illusion of freedom. So, there are some pseudo questions. Some reporters, some journalists want to trap some person.
Some celebrity they want to trap. So, there are some trick questions they ask. So, sir, have you stopped beating your wife? Now, if you say yes, that means you have beaten your wife before.
No, shameless person is still beating your wife. So, the question is meant to trap. The question is such that either way you engage with the question, you are lost.
So, basically such questions, if you have to answer them, we don’t answer them in their terms. We have to change the terms. What is the basis of this question? So, when we accept the terms of engagement of the mind, the terms are just biassed against us.
You know, I shouldn’t feel worried. But I am thinking of worry already. So, just neglect.
Neglect means we don’t think for it. We don’t think against it. It’s present over there.
I go on with my life. So, first step is when they start telling the story, don’t hear it. Second is if the story starts going a little, still the story goes on and on.
And then, at that time, we need to have a sense of healthy scepticism. The mind starts saying this is like this, this is like this. So, our thoughts, when the thoughts come in, we tend to think that the thoughts are real.
That means, once a thought comes in, you start believing that thought. Say now, if you have your phone, can you take out your phone? Don’t look at it. Just take it out.
So, now, keep the phone in your hand if you have one and just say to yourself, I can’t lift up this phone. Just say to yourself, I can’t lift up this phone. I can’t lift up this phone.
I can’t lift up this phone. And lift it up. Lift it up.
Now, you are thinking and saying, I can’t lift up the phone. But is that the reality? No. So, our thoughts are not only real.
You may have a particular thought. Now, if I have paralysis in my hand, then it will be true, I can’t lift up my phone. But just because I am getting a particular thought, doesn’t mean the thought is real.
However, when the thought comes in, this person is like this. This person is like this. This person is like this.
Life is one thing goes wrong, two things go wrong. Then our mind starts saying, I am very lucky. My destiny is rotten.
Now, there are so many things right in our life, which indicates that destiny is also good to us. But when the thought comes in, we start believing it. So, this sort of exercise, where we think of something, but we do something opposite.
That demonstrates to us that our thoughts are not real. So, we can have a healthy sense of scepticism towards our thoughts. Some thoughts may be real, but all thoughts are not necessarily real.
What is the correlation with reality, that has to be evaluated. And third is emotions. Emotions which come in.
The storyline is going on. It’s a horror story, and we are meant to feel horrified. But, we don’t have to necessarily accept that.
So, I give the example, Krishna says here, Udasinavadasinam. Udasinavad means as if detached. So, as if detached, the example for this would be like a cricket umpire.
So, a cricket umpire is observing the cricket match, and is very attentively seeing how the bowler is bowling, is there no ball, is the ball in action proper, did the ball hit the legs, is it out or not. The umpire is observing very carefully. The umpire is meant to be disinterested, not uninterested.
Disinterested means, having no vested interest. The umpire should not want one team to win. Otherwise, every appeal that this bowling team makes, the umpire says, yes, out, out, out.
That’s partial. So, the umpire should be impartial, not having any vested interest. At the same time, the umpire cannot be uninterested.
And the bowler appeals, how’s that? The umpire says, I was not watching the match. You are meant to watch the match. So, the umpire has to evaluate.
The umpire has to have interest, but interest should be objective. It should not be just because the player is appealing very forcefully, that does not necessarily mean the batsman is out. Or, just because the batsman is standing poker-faced, no, not out.
That does not mean the umpire has to believe it. The umpire has to objectively evaluate. So, similarly for us, Krishna says that various emotions will come within us.
And they will appeal, just like players appeal, how’s that? So, the emotions will come, I am depressed, I am angry, I am lonely, I am this, I am that. So, when these emotions come up, at that time, if we accept them, identify them, then we get carried away by the emotion. But we don’t, we need to objectively evaluate them.
So, when we do this, then we will be able to respond appropriately. So, now this is a slightly different point from what I was telling earlier. One is that some emotion which just regularly comes, sometimes we just feel depressed, sometimes we just feel irritated.
So, we habitually know this sort of emotion comes within me. Sometimes the weather becomes gloomy. So, I know this is my nature of my mind.
This is the way my mental weather is. So, I just move on. But sometimes an emotion has come in and it is demanding attention.
So, then we have to evaluate it. So, if I know that this emotion is just there, it always happens to feel like this, just neglect it and move on. But sometimes an emotion needs to be evaluated.
So, we evaluate it, but we have to evaluate it on our terms, not its terms. Sometimes the umpire can’t make a decision because of the pose of the umpire. The umpire has to ask the third umpire.
But the player says, no, don’t ask the third umpire. Tell me right now. Out or not out? Out, out, out, out.
No, no, tell me right now. So, if the mind is like that, just, no, I am feeling angry right now. Do something about it.
So, we need to delay things. When we are little more calmer, then we can evaluate it. When I am having worry, what if this happens, what if that happens, okay, that can happen and I will plan how to prepare for it.
But if I am sitting and sitting on a, maybe a railway station or airport, just planning how to go there somewhere, there is no time when I can think calmly. So, I start thinking about it, that time I simply get carried away with the mind’s work. Okay, if I lose my job, what do I do? I have a continuous plan.
Okay, someday I can sit down calmly, I have this, this, this and with all these things, I can go for this long. I am prepared for that. I am prepared for anything.
So, we, sometimes when some emotions keep coming up persistently, we may have to give attention to them. We can’t neglect them. But the attention has to be given on our terms.
When we can dispassionately evaluate things. So, if while interacting with a person, I constantly tend to become angry, I feel irritated with that person. I can’t just wish away the irritation.
When at that time I act on the irritation, I just worsen the relationship. But later on, when I am calm, I can evaluate. How do I feel so irritated with this person? Okay, they have done this, this, this.
Okay, what can I do about it? At that time, when they are objectively thinking, we can evaluate. We are not talking here about becoming completely unemotional. Or emotionally dead.
The emotions are there. Some emotions are to be neglected. Some emotions need to be processed.
But, even the emotions that need to be processed, they have to be processed on our terms. Like a salesperson, say, we have got a new car. Okay.
Right now I am busy. You send the email to me. You send some material.
I look at it and I will get back to you. Because when they are speaking, they have only one goal. Somehow or the other, make us buy the car.
So, if we have some valid concerns, we may not even be able to think about it at that time. I have this feature, this feature, this feature. Sometimes, we go to shop and then, some people are shopaholics.
The atmosphere is maintaining in a super-martial such way that buy one thing, buy that, buy that, buy that. Sometimes, people come back after buying 100 things and they are going to buy only 10 things. Why did you buy that? Why did I buy that? I also don’t know.
There is this, just the emotion came over me and I bought it. It’s a shopaholic. Shop, shop, shop, shop till you drop.
This shop, just keep shopping. So, like that, sometimes we get carried away. So, we may want to buy a car also but we want to make the decision on our terms, not on someone else’s terms.
So, if the mind has some emotions, we may have to process them but we process them on our terms. And, I’ll conclude with this point which I’ll elaborate in the next class that our mind, I said, I talked about the example of the metaphor of the river flowing into the ocean, how the river is not disturbed. So, what Krishna is implying over here is that our consciousness should be like an ocean.
If our consciousness is like a puddle, small puddle, and if a river comes into the puddle, the puddle will disappear completely. Everything will be disrupted. So, if we are not internally purposeful, if we are not internally focused, if we are not experiencing internal joy, then when external stimulation comes in, that will be like a river coming into a puddle.
If our consciousness is like a puddle, we will be disrupted. So, for us, the process of spiritual advancement is essentially the process of making our consciousness like an ocean. When our consciousness becomes filled with Krishna, then the consciousness becomes like an ocean.
And if the consciousness becomes like an ocean, then whatever stimulations come in, they are like rivers, they won’t disturb us. So, in our last session, we focused on talking about how to make our consciousness like an ocean. I’ll summarise here what I spoke today.
So, I spoke about why mind control backfires. We started by talking about our moods are like the weather. The weather is just a fact of life and it changes unpredictably.
Similarly, our moods also keep changing unpredictably. And we don’t let the weather determine our actions. We accept, okay, today is gloomy, today is cloudy, today is rainy, today is sunny.
We accept that and we move on with our work. Similarly, we need to learn to accept our mind’s moods or emotions and move on. So, Krishna talks in 14.22-23 about becoming an observer of our inner world.
And he says, goodness, passion, ignorance, they create illumination, urge for action and apathy or delusion within us. And he says, don’t crave for something and don’t resent something. Don’t say crave for illumination or resent apathy.
Why not? Because we all have a particular frame of mind right now. And we can’t deny. If while driving, I have gone off the road, off track, I have to accept this is where I am.
From there, I can set my map and come back again. If we keep denying the reality, we waste our time and energy. So, tolerance means to end our war with reality.
So, here we discuss acceptance of tolerance doesn’t necessarily mean approval. So, I am feeling angry, I am feeling depressed, I am feeling lazy. Yes, I am feeling like that.
I don’t approve of it. I would rather not want to feel like that. But if I am feeling like that, I accept it.
Like I have unwanted car, I don’t want it there. But I am not able to sell it for a month. So, I accept its presence.
I don’t go about bashing it. Nor do I start driving it. It’s not working, just let it be there.
So, similarly, we accept our emotional state. If we identify with it and we act according to it, then that leads to unhealthy consequences. I see one strange look in my boss’ eye and I get a panic attack.
What if I lose my job and I am reduced to the streets? So, the mind is an expert storyteller. And expert storytellers do three things. They make us forget everything else.
They make us suspend our sense of disbelief. And they induce within us emotions according to the story. The mind also does these three things to us.
So, we just don’t engage with the mind. That means, not yes, not no, just move on. It’s like an unwanted person is there, say, in our vicinity.
We don’t try to drive them away. We don’t try to talk with them. We just continue our work.
Acknowledge their presence, but move on with our purpose. And what does this mean? We talked about how desire can be an external stimulation or temptation entering into our consciousness. And desire can be an inner intention going out of our consciousness.
So, stimulations coming in, we can’t control. But intentions going out, we can control. But most often, we think controlling the mind means the stimulation itself should not be there.
Because I am a devotee, I should not feel angry. I should not feel guilty. I should not feel lonely.
I should not be depressed. I should not feel worried. It’s like, don’t feel worried.
It’s like, don’t feel cold. It’s not under my control. What is under my control is what I’ll do after that.
So, if we conceive of mind control means not feeling certain emotions, that is an idea of mind control which will backfire. Because if you’re not wanting to feel those emotions, we will try to subject ourselves to some other sensations. In the physical world, I don’t want some emotion.
I don’t want to feel worried. So, I start watching a movie and forget my worry. But then I’m going off into a fictional world.
So, if I want to move from here from the physical to the spiritual level, I have to accept the sensations there and I focus on absorbing myself in Krishna. And when we start practising bhakti or when we want to deal with the mind, so, first thing is we can’t not think of something. So, when you say, don’t be worried or don’t be worried or don’t worry, what it means is, don’t think about the source of worry so much.
Think of something else. We can’t not think of something. We have to have something positive to think about.
And when the mind starts telling a story, at that time, we don’t engage with it. Like a salesperson wants to make a sale, we don’t engage in dialogue at that time. But if you’re interested in buying a car, on our terms, we evaluate it.
So, if a particular emotion is coming again and again, we need to evaluate it also. But when we are calm, when we are reflective, it’s like the umpire takes a decision not just based on the loudness or the appeal of the players, but on one’s own terms. Umpire may consult the third umpire.
So, in our case, we may consult our spiritual guides. And then, we take an appropriate decision. And when we make our consciousness like an ocean, then, when the rivers of stimulations come in, they won’t disturb us.
So, the process of bhakti is a process of making our consciousness into an ocean. How to do that, we’ll discuss in our next session. Thank you very much.
Thank you very much. Are there any questions or comments? Yes, Pram. Thank you, Prabhu, for the wonderful talk.
So, I could relate to the example you were telling about stimulations coming in and you know, whether it’s up to you and your mind to figure out the intention and whether you know the act of the stimulation, right? So, this, I think, again, happens very often in the office, right, that people are, you know, drinking around and, you know, that stimulation is there, right? You’re seeing people, you know, breaking the regulative principles that, you know, we’re supposed to abide by. How do you know, make sure you don’t fall into the trap of the stimulation and also the peer pressure, right, because most of the people around you, like, the regulative principles are something that you’re kind of an alone individual out there among the hundreds of people around, you know, and the peer pressure is always there, why are you doing something that what others are not doing? So, you know, peer pressure makes us want to, our pressure is to say, taking a drink with them. How do we avoid that? The stimulation will come in from there.
One big advantage of today’s post-modern culture, which is what is there mostly in workplaces also, is that that if we don’t interfere with other people, people don’t interfere with us. They pressurise a little bit, but ultimately, in the workplace, people are concerned about their performance. We’re doing our job well.
There are certain social occasions which we may have to navigate. There are, there is there is an increasing, we could say, almost respect or acknowledgement of diversity of lifestyles. So, if I want to live in a particular way, that is my choice.
We should not impose it. And that is being more and more acknowledged everywhere. So, there are people of different sexual orientations and they publicly acknowledge that and people appreciate that.
People say, it is coming out. And so, the idea of diversity is very much accepted. So, vegetarianism, for example.
In India, still, people think to become modern means to become technologically good. In the West, actually, it’s cool to become a vegan. To be a non-vegetarian, that’s old-fashioned.
That’s what we were in the past. Now, we have become more conscious. Live consciously.
Don’t cause harm to the animals. So, to some extent, there will be some peer pressure, but if we stay firm, then people leave us alone. Where it becomes a problem is if we try to impose our beliefs on them.
Why are you drinking? If they feel that we are a threat to them, then they also become threats to us. But, we just do our thing well, you know, and leave it. So, sometimes, you may feel that because of this, I am not belonging to particular social circles, but because there is so much diversity of practises in the workplace, which is also encouraged, so people doing their own thing is not a major cause of exclusion.
The whole workplace atmosphere, not just the workplace atmosphere, the whole atmosphere of inclusiveness, so that can work to our advantage. It’s often the peer pressure is actually more in the mind than in actual reality. We think, if I don’t do this, I’ll be excluded, I’ll be excluded, I’ll be excluded.
But, I remember there was one student, he had become a devotee while he was in engineering college, then he went to another place to do his PhD, and he was sharing a room with another person, and he was thinking, this person, if I wake up and chant my own in public, in front of him, what will I think about him? So, he would wake up early, and he would act as if he was sleeping, and under his blanket, he would chant his own name. And then, one day, he noticed that this other person also seemed to be sleeping. So, he was looking at that.
And then he found out that other person was also a devotee who was chanting secretly. So, we don’t have to presume that people are going to be opposed. People sometimes feel a little uncomfortable with the unfamiliar.
They feel uncomfortable with the unfamiliar. Why are you like this? But, if they see that overall, we are, we perform well, we are well-behaved, then they don’t bother us so much. Rather than thinking of the workplace as filled with people who are non-devotees, even non-devotees also, there are people who may be a little bit more in the mood of goodness, a little bit more in the mood of passion.
And we don’t have to stereotype goodness, passion, ignorance, simply in terms of regularity principles. Regularity principles are one aspect of it. Sometimes, some people may be eating meat or drinking, that’s just because it’s a part of their culture.
That’s how they were born and brought up. But, in other aspects of their life, they may be cultured, well-behaved, gentle, courteous. So, they may have some aspects of goodness also in them.
So, rather than simply, you are doing this, this person is doing this, therefore, this person must be like this. This person will come over. That particular behaviour may be in the mood of ignorance.
But, that doesn’t mean the whole person is in the mood of ignorance. It’s very easy to label people. Perhaps, one of the biggest ironies of the last century was that one person was responsible for killing maximum number of human beings.
That was Hitler. Hitler was a vegetarian. Does that mean he was better than all the people who he made? No.
He was a vegetarian for whatever reason. But, he was also a mass murderer. He was responsible for killing of so many people.
So, we don’t have to stereotype people based on one particular action of theirs. If we see that, even among our particular some will be relatively more in the mood of goodness. Some will be relatively much more in the mood of ignorance.
So, we keep a distance from those in the mood of ignorance and we associate with those who are relatively in the mood of goodness. That way, we can move. I have one more question.
Which verses that Gita enforces that we live more in the mood of goodness? It talks about goodness fashioning ignorance and how goodness eliminates knowledge. But, how do we understand that also? Gita actually mentions that we should live more in the mood of goodness. Logically, I understood.
I understood what you said. So, Gita says live more in the mood of goodness. Is there any explicit verse for this? We have to look at goodness both as a as a mood as well as a broad lifestyle choice.
So, what is goodness essentially? Krishna says, One characteristic of goodness is that we are in knowledge. We get knowledge in the mood of goodness. And then, when we actually get knowledge, we also understand that there is so much that I don’t know.
If I am driving on the road all alone, I think I will go wherever I want. But, if I am not, the road is so complicated, I need a map. When I get a map, then I can get safely.
So, if we have some mood of goodness, we will recognise that really for a life, I need a map. And we will like to explore what can be a map for life. So, Krishna very categorically says in a prescriptive verse, Therefore, live according to Shastra.
The willingness to accept the authority of Shastra is a characteristic of the mood of goodness. Without some level of goodness, one cannot accept the authority of scripture itself. Now, it is not that everybody will live in the mood of goodness in the same way.
Brahmana’s life is prominently in the mood of goodness. Kshatriya’s is in goodness and passion. You could say Vaishya’s is passion and ignorance.
Shudra’s is ignorance. But, it is not that simple. Shudra’s, if they are actually meant to live in a way that elevates their consciousness, they also need to have some amount of goodness.
Then, they will follow scripture which is given by Shudra’s. There are Vaishya’s, they also follow Shastra, it needs some amount of goodness. So, that means, when Krishna is saying follow scripture, what he is saying is, according to your Varna, follow scripture.
So, Arjuna is Kshatriya, of course, he is a pure devotee, he is transcendental, but he has a particular body, and he is performing a particular role in society at that time. That is a Kshatriya. So, Krishna tells Arjuna, you cannot jump up and act like a Brahmana.
Even if you don’t want to, you will be forced to act according to your moods. So, basically, the broad Bhagavad Gita’s guideline is that more goodness gives knowledge, and we should act in knowledge, and knowledge comes from scripture. So, following scripture, according to our level of consciousness, according to our nature, that is the guideline of Bhagavad Gita, which indicates that we have to have some amount of goodness.
Another consistent thing of the Gita is that you should work with detachment. कर्मणे वाधिकारस्ति मापुलेशु गधार्चि And there are several places where Krishna also tells Arjuna categorically that working in goodness means working without detachment. So, in the 17th chapter, when Krishna says that जग्यदान तपा is to be done, he says, do it, even though, when you do it without detachment to your results, that is in the mode of goodness.
So, working without detachment results, that is the characteristic of the mode of goodness. And Krishna tells Arjuna, work according to the mode of goodness. So, in that sense, Krishna says to Arjuna, we should function in the mode of goodness.
Okay. Any other questions? We will come back to you. Thank you.
One question which I have is when the mind’s demands come, one is to ignore the other is give some attention and still be neutral and move on. But sometimes, the circumstances are such that you have to tolerate. You are not creating that, but you are part of that.
You are experiencing that. How do you explain tolerance in the mind’s areas? Okay. So, sometimes circumstances are not changeable and we just have to tolerate them.
And the mind doesn’t like them at all. So, what do we do at that time? The mind generally wants to follow the path of least resistance. So, as long as it feels that this circumstance can be changed, it will keep resenting it.
You know, it should not be like this. It should not be like this. And then you just quit and go away.
You do something drastic. But if we just accept. So, sometimes you know, we go to work and suddenly there is a big project.
Huge amount of work. First our mind says, I don’t want to do this. The temple also gets a big service.
Initially, I don’t want to do this. So, a lot of inner battle goes on. I don’t want to do this.
But eventually, if I say there is no way to get out of it. I have to do it. And once we start doing it, more often than not, we find that doing that activity is not as difficult as the mind made it out.
It requires time. It requires effort. And sometimes it requires more time and effort than what you anticipated also.
But it is not as unbearable as the mind makes it out. So, basically, as long as the mind feels that there is some opportunity to change this, then the mind keeps resenting it, resenting it, resenting it. Get rid of it.
Get out of it. Whatever. So, because for that, for the mind, at that time, the path of least resistance is get out of the situation.
But if we decide, I can’t get out of the situation. I just have to do this. Once we accept that, then the mind starts saying, now, if I keep resisting it, I am simply making the thing visible to myself.
So, that’s why Krishna says, यत्तक अग्रे विश्याविव परिणाव में अंगृतकुम। That which tastes like poison in the beginning will taste like nectar in the end. Well, then he also says in his commentary that, that what is poison for the ego is nectar for the soul. It tastes like nectar in the beginning.
So, it tastes like poison in the beginning. Because we are at the level of false ego. False ego means either body, mind, or ego, whatever.
We are identifying with one of these. That’s why it feels like poison. But if you just penetrate through that, it’s only अग्रे, it’s initially the poisonous thing.
If you penetrate through that, तो देखते होगी का. You will see that, yes, this is not that bad, I can do it. And I learn through it, I grow through it.
My inner muscles of self-discipline, they become stronger by this. So, somehow, we have to just go through an initial phase. And sometimes, just recognising that this is a this is a karmic complication that I have to face.
This is just something which is going to come in my life. And if I just tolerate it, it will be more bearable. We have to intellectually explain to ourselves.
One example, suppose a leech bites us. Now, if you try to pull the leech out, it is so dangerous, its grip is so fearsome, it will pull out the whole skin. But, if you let the leech just do its work, it’s scary to feel its tentacles going into our skin and pulling the blood out.
But, the leech’s capacity to suck blood is not unlimited. Once it has sucked its blood, just flip it, it will fall off. So, like that, some situations come in our life, which are like leeches.
And they are going to suck some blood from us. And if we try to get away from those situations, if you try to overreact in order to get out of the situation, that’s like trying to pull out the leech. That will make things much worse.
But if you just accept it, it will suck some blood. But, the positive side of everything temporary in the world is that your problems are temporary. So, nothing will suck our blood infinitely.
So, if you just accept this is there now, it’s by my karma, it will suck some blood. So, when the problem comes up, the mind tends to internalise the problem. This is going to be like this forever.
And, if we think this is going to be forever, then, even for a few minutes, it becomes unbearable. Let’s say, if I have to lift 5 kg weight. Okay, I can lift it, no big deal.
But, if somebody tells me, you have to lift this 5 kg weight for the rest of your life, I will find it difficult to lift it for 5 minutes. So, what happens is, the mind internalises the problem and then it becomes unbearable. But, if our intelligence, instead of internalising the problem, we contextualise it.
Contextualise means, yes, because of the situation, this has come up. And, it’s like a leech which will suck my blood for some time. But, it will go away.
And, it becomes easier to tolerate. Any other question? Any question? So, this is one question. It seems that some people are inherently capable of finding emotions better than the others.
So, I was wondering, how does that inherently capability come about? Is it because of the character that you were born with? Or, why some people are able to handle such more character than others? Some people seem to have a better capacity to tolerate emotions than others. Handle emotions better. See, emotional health is like physical health.
Some people, their health is very sturdy. Nowadays, everybody wants to stay slim and attractive. Some people, they eat a little and suddenly their health gets spoiled, their weight goes down, body bloats up.
Some other people, they treat their tongue like a conveyor belt. But, nothing seems to happen to them. They stay slim, they stay healthy.
So, why is that? Normally, we say the law of karma is there, where action will lead to reaction. But, it’s not that simple in terms of the manifestation of the reaction. Some people, by their karma, are meant to have a healthy body.
So, no matter what they do, they still have a healthy body. So, even if they don’t eat properly, by their karma, they are meant to have a healthy body, they will have a healthy body. So, if they are eating improperly, that will have some consequences, but it will not be manifested immediately.
Our past karma often determines when our present karma will be in its reaction. Every present karma will have a future reaction, but whether that reaction will come immediately or after some time or after a long time, that can be determined by our past karma. So, Ravana, he had a karma to be prosperous for some time.
So, he did a lot of sinful activities, but still, he remained prosperous for a particular period. Then eventually, his karma ended. So, similar to what applies to physical health, also applies to emotional health.
Some people are emotionally more fragile or vulnerable than others. So, they just, somebody speaks one harsh word to them, they just get very disturbed. Some people by nature are more prone to worry than others.
Some people, it is almost as if they are fearless. Some people just like to do bhakti, jump from an aeroplane, jump from a mountain. Whereas, devotees, we have faith in Krishna, but I don’t want to jump.
We may have fear in doing that. So, that fearlessness is not necessarily spiritual. That calmness is not necessarily spiritual.
That is simply a result of past karma. Some people are given, by their past karma, a sense of adventure, where they get a thrill in embracing risk. Whether that is positive or negative, that depends on how they, what kind of risks they take, whether they are foolhardy or calculated.
Similarly, some people are just gifted with a stoic disposition. Even if problems come, they are not affected by those problems. So, we understand this is like an emotional toughness that is given to them.
So, emotional toughness is also a result of past karma. And past karma doesn’t necessarily mean past lives. It can also be upbringing in this life.
So, we see that we have to work with the body-mind that we have. Sometimes, some devotees, in general, by a practise of bhakti, their emotional toughness will decrease. But still, it’s not that somebody who is a very introvert person, they like to be alone.
It’s not that by the practise of bhakti they are going to become extrovert. Krishna Dalai Lama, you are a Kshatriya. Even if you are a pure devotee, you are not going to become a Brahmin.
You are going to be a Kshatriya. So, of course, an introvert, if required, can act like an extrovert also. He can mix with people, talk with them.
But if given a preference, he would like to be alone. Some people, if they come to a group gathering, if they are extroverts, if they are introverts, the more people they meet, they feel, I have to find an escape from here. I have to go.
They may come to the room with a smile, but as they keep meeting people, their smiles are becoming smaller and smaller. Somebody is extrovert, they come to a room with a smile and the more people they meet, the bigger their smile becomes. So happy about it.
That’s just the human nature. That may not change. So, we can go from whatever emotional level of health we have to an improved level of health.
But, it’s not necessary that our psychophysical nature will change entirely. What will happen is, we will be able to deal with our nature better. See, we don’t live for our nature, we don’t live against our nature.
We live with our nature for Krishna. So, live for our nature means I am extrovert, I just want to meet everyone. And if they are devotee, non-devotee, if it’s a purposeful discussion, if it’s a prajalpa, no, I just want to chit-chat.
That’s just live for our nature. Live against our nature means, I like to talk with people, so I will not talk with anyone. I will torment myself.
We don’t live for our nature, we don’t live against our nature. We live with our nature for Krishna. So, if somebody has a greater need for adventure, then they may take up services which involve doing new things, you know, go for book distribution, meet new people, or do things where all kind of new experiences you get.
But some people have a greater need for security and order. Then they may take up services for Krishna, which involve more security and order. Maybe some services like puja services.
There also meticulousness is required. But there is also unpredictability of adventure. Just do things on time and do it well.
So, we live with our nature or we work with our nature for Krishna. Even if somebody likes to teach about Krishna. Some people like to go and speak to new people, where new questions come up.
And there is a sense of challenge. Some people, it is more that they would like to teach devotees. Where we can have systematic study, systematic discussion, organised meditation.
So, we accept our nature and then we act according to our nature for Krishna. Did I answer your question? Okay. Any other questions? Thank you so much for the wonderful lecture.
So, my question was, is tolerance an end state or is there a duration to it after which there is an action? For example, in the other example, right, like obviously Seattle has lot of rain, it is depressing, sometimes and all of that. And because you have lived in San Diego, you know that the weather can be better than this, right? So, you always wonder like should we stay in that situation but because we have experienced better situations, should we move out? But then obviously when you have to move out, you always have reasons like hugs and all of that, mentally, right? So, to me it feels like tolerance makes things simpler so, but is that the end state or is there anything beyond that? This is going to be the whole subject of the last class. Are you going to be there for the next class? And I will talk at that time.
Briefly, this tolerance is not the end. Tolerance is our means to an end. So, we have a purpose and sometimes that purpose is served by tolerating and sometimes that purpose is served by changing or adjusting.
So, we will talk about this later in the class. Yeah, we will come to that. I have a question on emotions, how to control emotions.
For example, if you are constantly getting provoked by others, other people without no reason and if you don’t respond and react to that provocation? Provoke with no reason means they are not doing anything which is getting provoked or they are provoking us without any reason from our side. And if you don’t respond and react to the situation, then you think that they think that it is our inability and weakness to respond to a provocation and that may increase in the future, right? And then we continue to do the same work that we are doing currently and sometimes… This is related to the same question. Are you there for the evening session? Are you planning to come? Or not yet decided? Okay.
So, if people… If we don’t respond to somebody who is provoking us, then they start treating it as a weakness from our side. So, what do we do? In the Bhagavad Gita, tells Arjuna, Tolerate. But in the whole Bhagavad Gita, it is also spoken to get up to fight a war.
So, Krishna is telling Arjuna, Tolerate, but he doesn’t say Tolerate, that process is the Kauravas. We fight against it. So, there is tolerance which is meant to serve a purpose.
So, if somebody is provoking us, whether we react to it is based on what our purpose is. A simple example. If we are going in a local train and say in Mumbai, the local train’s capacity is 100, but there are 300 people squeezed in a work.
And then, say we are standing and there is somebody else who is standing next to us and the person is pushing us. Push, push. How dare you push me? I will push you back.
And they push us, we push them back. And we get so caught in pushing that our station comes and we forget about the station. Just keep pushing.
That is silly. If I understand that, okay, I have to get down this station. This person wants to show their prowess.
Okay, I just move somewhere else. Let them have their prowess. And I just move on and get off my station.
So, from the purpose of going to my destination, my standing in that particular place and resisting that person is not very important. We have to get to my destination. So, let them have their space.
It’s a small thing. But, if that person starts pushing me out of the train itself, then that is not a small thing. Then I have to push back.
I have to take a stand in that. So, basically, tolerance means to keep small things small so that you can focus on the big things. So, I mean, the big thing is to get to my destination.
The small thing is, where I particularly stand in that train. Similarly, in our life, we have to have some big picture. What is it that I want to achieve? So, if I come to a temple or if I am working at a job, there is a colleague who is troublesome.
There is some other devotee whom I can’t get along. This is just human nature that sometimes people just trouble us. So, now, responding to that person, how important is it? How important is it? It’s not important for me to make a statement to that person.
When somebody is pushing me in a car, in a train, I don’t have to prove to that person that I am stronger than them. It doesn’t matter. Who thinks I am stronger? It’s okay.
My purpose is to get to my destination. So, if we are in a particular situation where somebody is provoking us and if we can avoid interaction with that person and we can go on with our life, then we let them have their provocation and just move on. Sometimes when we say this and I say this, it just takes so much time and energy.
It just becomes a cremonious interaction which goes on and on. So, if for our main purpose that person’s provocation is not a big interference, then we just move on. So, if I am in my office, somebody just taunts me.
Every time I pass by then they taunt me, they make some sarcastic comments about me. I just avoid them and move on. But if that person starts sabotaging my work, maybe corrupting my computer or stealing my files or something which I can’t work itself, then I can’t operate that.
So, basically, Shri Prabhupada writes in the 10th chapter of Bhagavad Gita, intelligence means to see things in their proper perspective. So, proper perspective means this is more important, this is less important. And we can’t have a perspective without purpose.
It is purpose that brings perspective. What is my purpose? Based on my purpose, I have to get to my destination. Then this person pushing me in the train is not very important.
But if I have no purpose, I am just going for a joy ride. And then this person is pushing me. How dare you push me? I will show you.
So, it is by studying scriptures regularly, by hearing the message of scripture, our purpose of Krishna becomes focused in our mind. And then, in the light of that purpose, our family situation, our professional situation, our temple situation, whatever it is, we can see how important is this. It is a small thing.
Taurus means help us to keep small things small. If it is a big thing, we may have to take some assertive action. So, we may report to some senior, we may try to have a clear, firm dialogue with that person.
We may take an appropriate course of action. But its important thing is to have a purpose by which you can see, we can get the perspective to see which things are small and which things are big. And then determine whether to tolerate or to do something about it.
Okay. Thank you. So, one last question.
And we will stop. Okay. So, talking to some of my friends, you know, continuously conversing about the importance of chanting.
So, most of them, they tell me that, you know, yeah, I think chanting is good. You can get connected to Krishna. But then, you know, once you are connected, why do you need chanting? And, you know, that kind of thinking is there.
I don’t know, how do I help them understand also that, you know, once you are connected to Krishna, still, you know, chanting is the means to connect and also the goal as well. So, somebody says, if I am already connected to Krishna, there is no need to chant. Basically, any kind of practises, the word rituals has a negative connotation.
But ritual basically means something which is done repeatedly. Any kind of practise that we do, it has two purposes. It is to experience a particular emotion.
And another purpose is to express that emotion. So, if I come from the temple, I go down in front of the lord, even if I don’t have any sense of veneration or respect for the lord, gradually, by doing that action, that emotion will appropriately come. So, the way we physically act, that shapes our emotions in general.
So, if I sit, say, I put my legs on this chair, I put my hands back and relax, after that I say, I am feeling very humble now. Laughter This is the bossy portion. I can’t feel humble if my legs are high up and I am sitting down.
So, our externals affect our internals. So, by shaping our externals in such a way that they are conducive for the internals, if we don’t have that emotion, we will get that emotion. If I sit in a respectful mode, then I feel respectful, I feel humble.
So, it is, the practises are meant to express, to achieve or experience the emotion when it is not present. And once it is present, the practises are also meant to express the emotion. So, for us, chanting connects us with Krishna, but chanting also expresses our devotion for Krishna.
Just as when a person loves someone, they like to talk about them, they like to speak their minds. So, for us, chanting is both, for expressing the connection, expressing our devotion as well as for accessing the devotion. So, if we see it as only one, then the idea is that we are thinking of, we are not understanding that actually a relationship is a dynamic process.
Relationship is not, a relationship is always more of a direction than a destination. Relationship is always a direction. Now, I have a good relationship with someone.
Yes, it’s good, but a good relationship means I will keep doing some activities so that the relationship feels good. So, it’s a direction in which you always keep going. So, for us, chanting helps us to go in the direction of Krishna.
And because Krishna is a person, we are a person, we have a relationship, so that reciprocation goes on. It is not a destination that we attain. So, chanting helps us to come close to Krishna.
And because Krishna is a person with whom we have to stay close as a relationship. So, chanting helps us keep close to Him. Thank you very much.