If our weaknesses make us lose perspective what can we do?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So, if an artist makes a loose sense of perspective, what can we do at that time? Yes, that’s why we need a safe zone where we cannot act out too much. What does it mean safe zone? See, basically, everybody has impulses which arise from their anarthas.
All of us get angry. It is human nature. But, unfortunately, with technology, what happens? We get far greater power to express our anger.
In America, one great concern which still kids have, I had gone for a college program and just before the college program started, suddenly there was some alarm. And what happened? Everybody just jumped under their desk. Jumped under the desk.
So, I also went under my desk. They said, there was an alert that some shooter has come in school. Supposedly, the gun has come.
So, then they said, actually, it has not come. We just wanted to check how responsive everyone is. So, they said that we ought to train you that if somebody with a gun comes into the school, comes into the college, then how you should be very prompt to respond.
So, they actually have drills in schools that if a shooter comes, how should you do? How should you protect yourself? Now, the point I am making is that people get angry. Everybody gets angry. But, in my anger, I have access to a gun.
Then, I might shoot a dozen people, man. Otherwise, if I get angry, I might just shout at some people or some people just become silent and just don’t speak with anyone at that time. Some people just go away.
Some people just have a punching bag and beat up the punching bag. Different people express their anger in different ways. So, when I said that anarthas generally cause us to lose perspective.
So, what we need is a safe zone where we can process the anartha. Rather than just expressing whatever we are feeling at that time, we process it. So, what could be a safe zone? Actually, that safe zone becomes at one level more difficult as technology provides us more and more facility.
But, if you could create a safe zone, say for example, I spoke in Google. So, in Google, they had done an experiment that they found that there were a lot of employees who were suffering from obesity. And, this obesity was hampering their performance.
They were getting diabetes, they were getting various kinds of problems. So, they got a psychologist and the psychologist told them that in your cafeteria, they had various kinds of candies, chocolates and sweets and other things. And, they had all these in transparent containers.
So, just cover these with non-transparent paper. And, they did that. And, in the next six months, the consumption of candies among the employees decreased by 33 percent.
Just by that one step. What happens? You come to our cafeteria, you see, hey, let me have it. You don’t see it.
It’s not that it’s not available. But, it’s not visible. It’s still available, but it’s not visible.
So, then, what happens? The desire doesn’t come. Sometimes, the desire will come very strongly and somebody will go and ask for it. But, most times, it’s like, oh, this is available, let me do it.
So, what happens? If we find there is a particular which makes us lose perspective. And, what happens? The mind doesn’t attack us every time with a new weapon. Usually, for us, there are same old weaknesses which it keeps upon succumbing to again and again.
So, once we understand this is the area where I tend to succumb. Then, it’s best to create a safe zone for ourselves. That safe zone would mean two things.
First is, that is a situation where we don’t give ourselves access to act out. So, for example, if I get angry and in anger, I just burst out at people. Then, what I can do is, I make a plan that when I am angry and a person is made me angry, I just not confront that person.
I just walk away from that place. So, that is one way where I don’t give myself the opportunity to vent it out. And then, I give myself some space where I can process it.
So, maybe I talk with someone or maybe I just write things down. This person is a terrible person. I met one senior Prabhupada disciple.
He told me that he journals everyday. I said, our life is so busy. How do we get time for journaling? He said, I have to process my anger.
So many devotees do so many things which make me angry. And if I yell at them, it will make things worse. So, I just process this person did this, did this.
And then, if I express it, you calm down. And after that calm down, okay, when the emotion has run its course, you calm down. Okay, this person did this.
It’s not such a big thing. Once you just got, as long as it is inside us, just feel it’s unbearable. You have to get it out.
But if you get it out and send it to the other person, that person will find it unbearable. So, have some intermediate safe zone. So, basically, based on our conditioning, if we create a safe zone, I use that also.
When I get angry with someone, I write a very angry email to them. But then I have a policy that I will not send that email for 24 hours. And in 24 hours, I cool down.
Sometimes other person also realize their mistake. They send the apology or they send some clarifications which I did not know. Or even if I send the mail after 24 hours, I realize, this is too harsh.
I edit it, I soften it. Most of the times, I have seen that things, they don’t get that aggravated. Things move towards resolution.
So, if I keep that anger within me, it will burn me. But if I let the anger out to them, it will burn them. So, find out a safe zone.
So, for each of us, we will have to find out what is the safe zone where we can process our anger. It’s not that I can just simply suppress it. If I got a desire, if I got anger, if I got something, I can’t just immediately wish it away.
But that doesn’t mean I have to act on it. We have to find a safe zone where we can process it appropriately.