If a couple has to divorce, do they keep getting the other’s karma even after divorce?

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So if a couple has to divorce because of irreconcilable differences and then what happens to their karma? Suppose the wife is not a serious devotee and she does something wrong, does the husband still get the karma of the divorce? Or if the husband decides to remarry again, then does that also lead to some further karmic transfer? Gahana Karma Navvati Krishna says that the ways of karma are extremely difficult to understand and the most important principle for us is to try to stay steady on the path to Krishna while staying steady in that way We have to find out what is the way in which I can stay more steady That day I talked about how problems have immediate cause, there is a remote cause and ultimate cause So the immediate cause is some particular incident, some particular issues because of which there have been very emotionally charged differences that have come up and there is a feeling that one has to separate So there is a problem at the immediate level we don’t immediately react to it but if over the years we find again and again that it is impossible to reconcile then we are addressing the problem at the immediate level So there is a certain amount of karma which we do get through every relationship to some extent we can say it is our own karma coming through that person and it is also when two people form a relationship some karmic transfer may happen Our purpose especially in bhakti is not just to avoid bad karma or to burn up the past past bad karma Our purpose primarily is to practice bhakti and move towards Krishna So we have to see what level of adjustment or what kind of situation I need at the material level so that I can practice spiritual life So some people have a very high tolerance capacity and they just say ok whatever happened let’s just go on with life Some people they have low tolerance capacity they are more assertive, they want to do things and if things are wrong they just can’t maintain it Now if somebody with a high tolerance capacity if you try to tell them to become very assertive it is very difficult for them If somebody with a very low tolerance capacity not low tolerance in the sense of intolerance but it is more like something like say environment Now some people can just deal with heat without much problem Some people just start feeling very unpleasant without heat Just need a fan to function So we are talking this about the emotional level Some people are relatively less agitated by things, some people get very agitated So if with an agitated mind just like if I have to hear a class if the if it is extremely hot and I can’t hear then if I find that ok if I just move somewhere there is a fan over there, I sit there and hear I am able to hear much more comfortably The point is to hear the class to remember Krishna and if for remembering Krishna there is no alternative except sitting in that hot place, we will do that but there is an alternative, seeking that alternative is not a wrong thing little effort we have to do to get that alternative and if that helps us to focus better on Krishna, that’s fine but if somebody says that temple hall is so hot so I will not come to the temple and they stop hearing then that’s not a wise thing to do So example of a material solution and a spiritual solution I like to compare it to a painkiller and a curative medicine So different people have different pain bearing capacities So some people recently I had a dental issue for which the doctor had to give some treatment so doctor said that when he saw the extent of the damage to the tooth, he said that you must be in a lot of pain I said I don’t feel any pain not that I was transcendental but the doctor said that these dental issues you can’t say how much damage will cause how much pain there is no correspondence between that somebody else just put a little needle and they find how much pain that they have to give some anesthesia over there others you actually drill and they don’t feel much pain it’s not necessary that that person is controlling the emotions they say don’t do like that, it’s not that we are not asking you about your capacity to tolerate pain, we are talking about whether you are experiencing pain or not so that means if the damage has gone to the nerve then we feel pain the damage has not gone to the nerve, even if the damage is more it will not cause pain so the point is rather than thinking that oh I can’t tolerate problems it is that ok, tolerance can be done if it is necessary but what is the emotion I am experiencing right now I gave a series of classes in Melbourne on emotionally healthy spirituality so we need to take care of our emotions at a level so that we can function taking care of our emotions is not our primary goal our primary goal is to purify our emotions and direct them towards Krishna but along that journey we have to take care whatever is required so it’s best not to get into the zone of worrying too much about karma because whatever the karmic implications are, they are there and it will be very difficult for anyone to find a specific statement in Shastra even it says if you get divorced then Chanakya does talk in Nithya Shastra about what are the rules if a couple wants to divorce yeah Artha Shastra, not Nithya Shastra I think so he talks about that but then who is responsible, who is going to get what karma that is all too complicated so generally as devotees we want to tolerate as much as possible and avoid the option of separation but if separation is unavoidable for some reason after a lot of effort, lot of tolerance, it’s unavoidable then we should focus on how best I can serve Krishna so if somebody is not interested in serving Krishna then okay, they are a soul they are on their journey and they are going to do what they are going to do so we can’t control them and we can’t inspire them much because of our personal equations in the relationship best is to not worry about the karma, focus primarily on as I said dharma how can I practice my bhakti right now most effectively so some devotees even say that when you are in pain, don’t take a painkiller because it’s your own karma coming and you are covering up the karma but then my point is okay if I can’t chant Hare Krishna, if I can’t remember Krishna I am simply feeling the pain what is the use of that pain? yeah, it’s not really of much use so the point is if I need a painkiller I take the painkiller I don’t worry so much about oh this pain is going to come in some other way my point is I have to practice bhakti to the extent I practice bhakti I will go beyond the pain so regarding forming another relationship say getting married again that also you have to see based on what is our need for our practice of spiritual life if you feel a need for companionship if you feel a need for a relationship strongly and if you feel that having that need taken care of will help us to serve Krishna better then you can go ahead and do that yeah so as far as the karma getting karma overlapping or transferring there is not much point in doing that because we don’t know first of all so we don’t have to bother too much about it the three things, first of all we don’t know what karma is there we can’t do anything about it so third thing is that we always have to work with the resources that we have right now so if if say A and B are in a relationship and married and B is not a devotee if A separates from B then B will give up bhakti completely but while A is with B the agitation is so much that A can’t practice bhakti then what is to be done to see a balance if somehow the two can maintain and A can practice bhakti at some level and B also gradually becomes favorable that is good but because B will go away from bhakti if A and B separate because of that they stay together but both of them are agitated and A is also not able to practice bhakti so seriously then and that’s not so advisable in general when one relationship ends it’s best not to enter into another relationship immediately because at that time we will we will be attracted to a relationship because of our emotional neediness and we are emotionally wounded at that time and anybody who offers some comfort, some healing we will feel this is a good relationship but we need a certain amount of sattva guna certain amount of goodness to actually understand what my nature is, what that other person’s nature is so it’s really good if at all one wants to consider remarriage to wait for I won’t say any specific period, 6 months, 1 year or 1 and half years, whatever, that we will have to see individually till the point when in exploring the relationship not because of because of the hope of healing that wound there are two ways in which one may react to a broken relationship one goes into a shell and says I will never have any other relationship with anyone the other is one just starts searching for some other relationship to get healed the more healthier approach is that one, not that goes into a shell but one goes inwards to try to explore, understand oneself better and it is that there is a dependence independence and interdependence three modalities in relationships so dependence is very crippling so if a relationship is formed based on the mode of dependence ok, I need you to heal me that is always an aspect in every relationship there is mutual sharing and caring and healing that happens but that’s not the primary drive we have to come to the level of independence yes now this is what happened I have come to terms with it, I have accepted it now I want to explore so then you can explore and don’t worry too much about karma and institutions just focus on trying to move towards Krishna I say that whatever karma may get us to Krishna will get us through