If after some wrongdoing, we feel guilty and don’t feel like coming close to Krishna, what can we do?

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
presentations. Here the Gopis are saying even if we have anarthas, still come to our covers. But when we have contaminations and we do something wrong, we feel guilty and don’t want Krishna to come.
We stay away from Krishna. Yeah, that happens because we think that Krishna’s love is conditional to our purity. But Krishna’s love is unconditional.
It is our experience of his love that is conditional to our purity. What does it mean? Sun gives rays to everyone. But if we stay in a dark dungeon, we can’t see the sun’s light.
But the sun gives light to everyone. So like that, Krishna’s love for us doesn’t depend on the purity of our heart. Like I mentioned, Krishna is Krupana Vatsala.
He loves even the misers, even the materialistic people. Suhrudam Sarvabhutana is not the well-wisher of only his devotees. He is the well-wisher of all living beings.
So Krishna’s love is not conditional to our being pure. But it is our experience of Krishna’s love is conditional to our purity. If we are impure, then we get distracted to many other things.
And that’s why we can’t focus on Krishna. That’s why we can’t connect with Krishna. And that’s why we can’t relish his sweetness.
That’s why we can’t feel his love. See, somebody is talking very sweet words with us. But, you know, we are maybe reading something on our phone or hearing something on our earphone.
Then, we won’t hear what they are speaking. If we are, if, say, we are drinking delicious sweet rice, but somebody comes and moves our mouth away, and the sweet rice falls all over our body, we can’t taste it. So like that, Krishna, the remembrance of Krishna is like a nectar.
But our impurities are like the forces that push our consciousness away from focus on Krishna. So we can’t relish his sweetness. But Krishna’s sweetness still remains.
So we have to understand that Krishna’s love is unconditional. Krishna is not a judgmental God who will reject us because we do something wrong. That’s why if we can’t succeed in Krishna consciousness, then we can fail in Krishna consciousness.
Now what does that mean? Obviously, the opposite of success is failure. If we don’t succeed, we fail. No, the point here is not success and failure.
The point is in Krishna consciousness. If we can fail in Krishna consciousness, then we are still in Krishna consciousness. Now what does it mean to fail in Krishna consciousness? That means that even if we fail, we stay Krishna conscious.
This mood is seen in Parikshit Maharaj. When he has a lapse, a momentary lapse caused by great thirst and he offends the sage Swami Krishna. And then as soon as he comes back to his consciousness, he feels what a terrible thing I have done.
For whatever punishment I deserve for this, let it come upon me. And let me never lose shelter of Lord Krishna. So, Ajamil falls away and he falls away for a very long time.
But then, what happens? As soon as he hears the name of Narayan, he becomes awakened and he comes back to Krishna. Comes back to Krishna. So, the process of Krishna consciousness is so inclusive that it provides room for failure in Krishna consciousness also.
Krishna says in 9.30 in the Gita that even if somebody commits the most grievous wrongdoing, still if they are determined to serve me, then they are to be considered saintly. So, what that means is Krishna doesn’t hold our misdeeds against us. If we just have the intention to serve him, then we can still be well situated in our bhakti.
So, we need to see that sometimes by our past conditionings some lapses will occur. So, if we consider the graph of our consciousness versus time, then if our consciousness is normally it is at a particular level and if we say our material desire is at a low level, our Krishna consciousness is at a particular level. Sometimes our Krishna consciousness dips down.
We just don’t feel attracted to Krishna. And sometimes our material desires go up. Now, when those material desires sometimes these two the dipping down of our Krishna consciousness, our attraction towards Krishna and the rising up of our worldly desires, they happen together.
Now, when this happens, at that time we are pulled away. At that time, the desire comes so forcefully that we may do something wrong. But what do we do after that? After that, if we still simply keep beating ourselves up, why did I do that, why did I do that, why did I do that? Then, we are not actually improving by that.
If at that time we become conscious of Krishna, Krishna, I’m sorry I did that. I still want to be your servant. Please guide me how I can serve you.
Then, even if that surge in our desire happens again, in the intermediate period between the surge of the desires, what are we doing at that time? If at that time we are taking shelter of Krishna, we will become purified. Unfortunately, we sometimes think of, we sometimes beat ourselves up and think that that is, that is a sign of my atonement or my feeling bad about my wrongdoing. See, whatever wrongdoing we have done, whatever bad we want to feel, the best way to rectify it is by being conscious of Krishna.
Otherwise, it is first our mind which is telling us do it, do it, do it. And in the mind, it takes a double role. Why did you do that? You fool! You will never learn.
You are a hopeless idiot. You are so fallen. You are hopeless.
Now, you are hopeless is never the voice of Krishna. You are hopeless is never the voice of the conscience. You are hopeless is never the voice of the Guru.
So, something inside us telling us you are hopeless, that is the voice of the mind. So, when we do the wrong, we are conscious of the mind. Because the mind says do it, do it, do it, we do it.
And then, after that, in feeling bad about the wrong, we keep hearing you are hopeless, you are hopeless, you are hopeless. That is also the voice of the mind. So, in both cases, we end up being mind conscious and not Krishna conscious.
So, to give you a graphic example of this, suppose we are living a normal life and a friend comes and tells us, I have a scheme to make some quick money. Want to join me? He says, what is that? He says, let’s rob a bank. He says, what? Hey, no, no, no.
Now, I have a foolproof scheme. We rob a bank, we make a lot of money and be happy. He says, no, no, can’t do that.
No, no, no, come, I have a foolproof plan. And a friend persuades us. And then we go and rob the bank and while we are robbing the bank, an alarm rings and his friend runs away and we are left over there.
And then we are caught by the police and we are taken to a court and then we are brought in front of the judge and then we find that very friend is sitting at the judge. You criminal, you thief, you will go to jail now. You only caused me to rob the bank and now you are punishing me.
So the mind is like that. The mind makes us do wrong first. Come on, rob the bank and then it condemns us.
Why do you rob the bank? So what we have to do is, certainly if we do wrong, we do wrong, we have to feel bad. That is good, that guilt is good. But guilt is good only if it makes us more conscious of Krishna.
If guilt makes us less conscious of Krishna, if guilt makes us feel that I don’t, that I am hopeless, then that guilt is also Maya. Say, in this five fingers, this is the wrongdoing, this is the soul, this is Krishna. So guilt should come here, between the wrongdoing and the soul.
A feeling of guilt should stop us from doing the wrong. But if guilt comes here, in between the soul and Krishna, then that is not guilt, that is pseudo guilt, that is the mind speaking. The mind is actually, the mind first made us do wrong and then the mind makes us stop us from doing the right thing further.
That’s why if we can’t succeed in Krishna consciousness, that means we can’t always maintain the standard of Krishna consciousness, then what we can do is we can fail in Krishna consciousness. Okay Krishna, I failed, but I couldn’t do it, but still I am your servant, I still want to serve you, please guide me how I can move forward. So failure itself does not take us out of Krishna consciousness.
There is a possibility for failing in a healthy way within Krishna consciousness. No matter what wrong somebody has done, if that person just maintains the desire to serve Krishna, then by that desire to serve Krishna, gradually purification will occur and through that purification, rectification will also happen. So if guilt makes us not want to come close to Krishna, then we should understand that is the mind speaking, it is pseudo guilt and we should reject that and still come towards Krishna.
So thank you very much.