Security in Insecurity – Learning to flourish amidst change

[Talk at Microsoft at Seattle, USA]

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This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Thank you for coming today evening. Am I audible behind? Thank you.
So, as I mentioned, I will talk on the topic of security in insecurity. Security is a fundamental need that we all have and we try to fulfil it in various ways. If you feel cold, we want security and we might wear warm clothes because of that.
If we feel too hot, we might go into the opposite situation which will make us more comfortable. That is we could say comfort and security at the physical level. While there is security, there is also what can be called as security theatre.
Security theatre means the whole gamut of activities that we do, which we think will make us secure, but actually they don’t promote security. They simply create an illusion of security. And when this illusion of security is confronted with the reality of insecurity, we become even more fearful.
Most of our life we spend trying to make arrangements by which we can become secure. And in general, if there is a situation where we feel we have some control over things, we think that is safer than the things on which we have no control. So, for example, often if there is a plane accident, that is a plane crash or a plane explosion, that is widely publicised and that’s what catches our imagination.
So, after the twin tower attack, many people tried to stop using planes and they started driving cars more and more. Now statistically, the percentage of car accidents is more than the percentage of air accidents. But somehow when we are driving a car ourselves and we are sitting, because we have the sense of control, we think we will be safer.
Whereas sitting as a passenger in a car, in a plane, where we have no control, seems to be more fearful. Similarly, I may think if I go out, somebody may rob me, an intruder may attack me. And if I am at home, safely sitting, watching TV, I am much safer.
However, the chances of somebody getting attacked by an intruder while going along the road are actually lesser than somebody getting a heart attack because of too many sedentary activities and becoming inact. So, there is this counterintuitive reality that there are certain things which we think are more secure but actually they end up being less secure. Broadly speaking, to focus too much on security is like trying to keep everything secure and in our control is trying to hold our breath.
Breath is essential for life. But the way breath is essential for life is it keeps flowing. Flowing in and flowing out.
If we hold breath, we will eventually lose the breath. The way to protect breath is to let it flow. When we focus too much on holding on to the breath, what is happening when there is coming in of air, going out of air, that is the time there is change.
But it is through the change that life goes on. So, often we feel insecure because of unpredictable or unwanted change. But life itself is filled with change.
If we stand by a river and look at the river, at one level it just seems to be flowing on moment after moment, hour after hour, day after day, month after month, the river seems to be moving on. However, the river is not the same. Every moment the river is changing.
A Greek philosopher said that we don’t step into the same river twice. Once we may step in, again we step in, then the river has changed. The water is continuously flowing and changing.
The Bhagavad Gita says that, न असतो विद्यते भावो There is nothing that is enduring at the material level of reality. So, the attempt to seek security is the attempt to stop change. And if that is the definition of security, that is impossible.
Now, when there is security theatre, that means we do a lot of activities which tell us there will be security. But they don’t actually make us safer. At that time what essentially happens is that we are trying to hold our breath more and more and more.
And we think the greater our capacity to retain our breath, the greater the security. What do I mean by retain our breath? Retain our breath means, it’s a metaphor for trying to control the uncontrollables and finding security in that. Just as breath keeps flowing, life keeps changing.
And therefore, the way to find security is not so much by going outwards, but by going inwards. Now, what do I mean by going inwards? If we consider everything around us is changing, then why is it that we even have the idea that things should not change? Why do we at all seek security in an unchanging foundation? That is because the external is changing, but at the internal level there is a foundation that is unchanging. Now, inside also there is change.
In fact, our moods, our emotions can change at an alarmingly fast rate. But beyond the emotions is something more. So, the Bhagavad Gita, which is an ancient yoga text for conscious living, offers a three-level model of the self.
So, this three-level model… Can you hear us on the phone? Can you hear us on the phone? Anybody? Can you hear us? I think it’s Tom. Actually, we have to set the volume. You don’t need your volume here.
Is it? We have to remove the volume? Yes. There is a presentation. I’ll take care of it.
There is a primary monitor. Leave it to me. Is it moving? Fix it immediately.
I’ll continue the class. Just take it aside. You can continue.
Sorry about the disturbance. So, we’ll continue. It talks about a three-level model of the self.
So, body, mind and self, consciousness, soul. It’s like the hardware, software and user. The hardware refers to the physical level of reality.
The software is subtler than the hardware. But that is also important for functioning. That’s like the mind.
And beyond that is the level of consciousness. The level of the self. That is the spiritual level of reality.
So, to understand this three-level model, let’s consider a situation where we do a thought experiment. Some of you are taking your food. If you could, you can join the thought experiment.
Or you can continue eating. Others can join the thought experiment. So, wherever you are, you can sit comfortably.
And you can close your eyes. And you can take three deep breaths. One.
Now, as you’ve taken these deep breaths, try to notice which part of your body is the most tense. It may be your feet. It may be your arms.
It may be your belly. It may be your fingers. It may be your forehead.
As you notice that part is tense, just relax it. If, say your fist, you can clench it right now. Clench it as tightly as possible.
And then, release it. Take a deep breath. Now, again, repeat this action of clenching your fist and releasing it.
But while doing so, try to, with your inner eye, try to visualise your fist as it closes, tightens, and releases. Although your eyes are closed and you can’t see your fist, you can visualise it with your mind. Now, as you’re visualising it, once again, do this same action a third time, where you clench your fist, tighten it, and release it.
And while doing so, visualise in your mind’s eye the fingers relaxing. Take a deep breath. You’ll notice here that there is an inner screen on which you could see, say, your fingers, your arm, your hands, that might be tense, and you can see as you relax that hand.
Now, on the same inner screen, you can, as you keep observing it, you will see various different images coming and going. You may see this room, you may see your home, you may see a loud one, you may see your phone. All this is like a procession of images coming and going on your inner screen.
But you remain different. You remain different from that screen as the observer of that screen. You can take one deep breath and open your eyes.
Thank you. So, what this thought experiment indicates is that we can get a conceptual glimpse of this three-level reality. The physical level of reality is like the outer scene.
The mental level of reality is like the inner screen. And beyond that is the inner seer. Now, when we experience life, all these three, the outer scene, the inner screen and the inner seer, come together in one line.
And that is when perception takes place. So, I will use this metaphor again to illustrate how we will deal with fear. Now, we will focus on four principles, four reflections for finding security amidst insecurity.
That’s an acronym fear. So, focus, engage, arise and release. So, first is focus.
Usually, when we experience fear, what exactly happens? The inner screen which is there inside us, it starts becoming like a TV. And that TV starts playing a horror movie. In that horror movie, we may see, Oh, I have lost my job.
This has happened, that has happened, that has happened. We may come to office and our boss, we see a strange look in our boss’ eyes. And that one thought, why am I looking like this? Maybe he is going to fire me.
Oh, if I am fired, what will happen to me? What will I do? How will I live? Where will I live? How will I manage myself? A chain of thoughts starts off. And it all starts being vividly displayed on this inner screen. And the more vivid the image, imagery, the more the movie goes on, the more we become fearful.
In the spring this year, when I had come to America, I had gone to visit a friend in California. And he had a big house. So, I was staying, sitting with him.
And behind the house was beautiful green scenery. And we were sitting and talking about spirituality. And I was looking at the huge, big window he had, from which you could see the scenery outside.
And as we were looking at the window, suddenly, I saw a huge gorilla, charging towards the window, the kind you might see in Planet of the Apes. And charging towards it, he raised his arm and pounded on the window. And he pounded on the window and the window didn’t crack.
I was a little alarmed and I looked at him. And my friend was grinning. And I looked at him once again and I noticed that he had something in his hands.
I peered aside, peered down, and then he picked up something. And he had some kind of button, he pressed it. And the gorilla disappeared.
I said, what is this? So, he told me that just for entertainment, he had designed that window in such a way that the window could double as a TV screen. And on that TV screen, just for entertainment, he had made a video montage, which with the same background as was visible through the window, he had created a gorilla appearing. So, as I was observing it, I was thinking, this is how our mind functions.
On our inner screen, fearful stimuli come up. Throughout our life, we experience many fearful situations, most of which never happen. More than 95% of our fears are more imagined than actualised.
This is not to say that there are no real fears. But the point is that it is our mind’s imagination that exaggerates the fears. So, focus means when we start feeling insecure, when we start feeling fearful, when we start getting worried, at that time, we pause the TV.
The TV is playing on and on, we pause it by asking a simple question to ourselves. What exactly is the problem right now? Oh, this may happen, that may happen, that may happen. We see our boss gives us a strange look.
What if I lose my job? How will I pay the mortgage to my house? Oh, I’ll be homeless, I’ll be on the streets. How will I? We may start becoming fearful. What exactly is the problem right now? The problem is that, my boss gave me a strange look.
What exactly is the problem right now? Okay, I had to meet a deadline. I have not yet met the deadline. So, as soon as we ask this question, what exactly is the problem right now? The TV which is moving on and on, it pauses.
It brings a focus. When we have something tangible to deal with, then we don’t feel as insecure as when there is a whole mist of insecurity where there is nothing for us to tangibly catch. When the mind starts showing a horror movie, we just don’t know what to deal with, what to deal with and how to deal with.
But focus gets us to focus on some tangible issue. What exactly is the problem right now? Then, once we do this, we need to act. So, the second part is engage.
Now, this inner screen, as I said, it has to function for us to perceive anything. So, right now, say, if you are hearing this talk and I am speaking this. So, right now, if suddenly a thought comes in your… Did I lock my house when I came from home today? If it’s not locked properly, somebody might steal something.
Where did I keep my keys? So, as one thought may pop up, suddenly a chain of thoughts may start over there and then it distracts us. So, basically, this inner screen, if it acts like a window, we are able to perceive the outer world. But if it acts like a TV, it distracts us in various directions.
So, what we do is, this inner screen, we get to focus on something tangible by asking the question, what can I do about it right now? This is the problem. What exactly is the problem right now? There might be a big problem. But what exactly is the problem right now? A student, we may have to give some interview.
And there may be a lot at stake in the interview. But what exactly is the problem right now? Okay, the problem is I am simply getting fearful. What can I do about it right now? I can calm myself down.
I can focus on preparing my presentation. So, as soon as we have something tangible, which we can act on, as long as we are inside our head, fear takes us on a ride. But as soon as we get out of our head, what can I do about this right now? This question gets us to focus on something tangible.
Basically, by those two questions, focus and engage, we are coming back to the present. When we go to the past, this went wrong, that went wrong, that went wrong in the future, that may go wrong, that may go wrong, that may go wrong. In both cases, we end up feeling powerless.
But when we can get ourselves to the present, that is when we feel calm. And how do we get ourselves to the present? What is the exact problem right now? What can I do about it right now? Now, when we engage at this point, what do we do? When we start doing something tangible, at that time, that action itself gives us a certain level of calmness. But beyond that, there is a third step.
Often it is said, live in the present. Which is good. We need to live in the present.
But at the same time, we can’t live for the present. We have to live for something bigger than the present. If say, a person is sick with a painful disease, at that time, the reality right now is painful.
They have to take the medicine properly, take the treatment properly, do the exercises properly. But for them, what will give them hope and energy is not live in the present. It’s live for something bigger than the present.
Yes, if I take this treatment, I can become healthier. So, that is something which will come in the future. But in the present, when we live, as I talked about, till now, these two steps, focus and engage, they get the inner screen to focus on something tangible.
Some actionable issue that we can deal with. But still the bigger problem remains. That brings us to the next point.
That is arise. Arise means that we understand that we exist above our situations and above our emotions. I talked about these three stages.
There is the outer scene, the inner screen and the inner seer. The same thing we could talk about as a three level reality, vertically. So, the outer scene is where changes are happening.
Where there may be a problem. There may be a fearful situation out there. It is at the inner screen where that becomes exaggerated.
So, by focus and engage, we decrease the exaggeration. And we focus on and engage with something tangible. But still there is so much danger, there is so much insecurity.
Things may go wrong in so many ways. But then we understand that I am different from all this. I exist above.
Above my situations and above my emotions. What do we mean above our emotions? Above our emotions means that we are actually not our emotions. We are the experiencer of our emotions.
We are not just the experiencer of our emotions. We are also the choosers of our emotions. If we consider a snowball.
At the top of the hill, it is not a snowball. It is simply a snow pebble. And when it is a snow pebble, at that time we could just kick it with our foot and it will break apart.
But as that snow pebble starts growing, growing, growing, growing, it starts charging down the hill. It gains mass and gains momentum. And by the time it comes down, it may have become such a giant snowball, it can bowl over an entire grown up person.
So similarly, if we consider this slope of the hill to be like our consciousness, like our inner world, then at the top of the hill is a thought. It is just a thought that has come in our mind. And then as it starts rolling down, down, down, it gains momentum and mass.
It becomes an emotion. It’s a thought. What if I lose my job? What if I get cancer? What if this happens? What if that happens? Just a thought that has come in that.
But as it keeps growing, it starts becoming bigger and bigger and bigger. And we start experiencing more and more emotions in connection with that. We start getting more and more overwhelmed by that.
And by the time it comes down, we might be panicky. We might be paralysed. We might not be able to do anything at all.
So the word thought itself, we often use in two distinct senses. One sense is, I just got a thought. And the other is, I have given this a lot of thought.
I say, I just got a thought. There what we mean is, thought is like an event occurring in our inner world. It’s like a stimulus popping up on our inner screen.
But I have given this a lot of thought means that I have contemplated systematically on it. These two usages convey that not just that there are two senses of the word thought, but there are two modes of action with respect to thoughts. One mode of action is, I got a thought.
That means that something which has appeared on my inner screen. I have given this a lot of thought. That means what has appeared in the inner screen, I have processed it.
So our thoughts gain power only when we give them our thought. When a stimulus pops up on our inner screen, it’s only when we think about it that it grows. The snow pebble will grow to a snowball to the extent it rolls down.
So that rolling down is similar to our thinking about it. And most often we give our attention unconsciously. Some fearful stimulus comes in and start dwelling on it.
And within moments we might feel ourselves palpitating and we might find ourselves becoming extremely fearful because of that. So that stimulus which comes in, if you understand, this is, okay, there is a situation out there that is a problem. There is some emotion of fear which is there inside me.
But I am separate from this. I am separate from both of these. Understanding that I am separate from this does not solve the problem.
It may not even remove the emotion. The fear may still be there. But we won’t get carried away by it.
And this is where spiritual knowledge comes into the picture. It is spirituality which helps us to understand that there is the core to us, the inner observer, the inner seer, who is beyond all the fluctuations at the physical level and at the mental level. And understanding ourselves to be that unchanging inner seer, that is the foundation of security.
By F and E, by focus and engage, we start doing something tangible to deal with the situation. But even then the situation might be very complicated. But by arise and that I am separate from this.
And when we understand this, the result of this is, we see that failure is a practical problem. It is not an existential problem. What do we mean by an existential problem? We often invest ourselves too much in externals.
When we are not able to get something external, which we think will give us security, which we think will signify our success. When we don’t get it, then we don’t just see that as an inability or as a failure at a practical level. When we, instead of understanding ourselves to be the inner seer, we start identifying ourselves too much with the screen or with the scene.
The result is that we start, for example, equating our self-worth with our net worth. When we equate our self-worth with our net worth, then if we find that, okay, I lose my job, then I am not earning anything, then what is the value of my existence? So whatever we identify very strongly with, if that goes wrong, if we face a failure in that, it becomes an existential crisis for us. One of my friends is doing a sociology doctorate in the post-celebrity lives of basketball players, of sports players, generally, but basketball players specifically.
In sports, the career peaks by 35-40. And when, even if somebody has been successful, at the end of it, most people struggle to climb up the road from being unknown to becoming famous. Most people may not even succeed in that.
But even if we succeed in that, from fame to infamy is a very difficult road to cross. And everybody has to cross that. So at that time, unless, if these players, they just have identified themselves only as players, if their self-worth came only from their performance, then quite often, after they stop performing, they stop playing, they just, unless they reinvent themselves, they go into depression.
They while away their money, they waste their life, and they often sink into terrible depression. So, if we understand that I am the inner seer, and I understand that, yes, I am playing various roles, and these roles are important for me, I have to do them responsibly. But, if something doesn’t work out, it’s a practical problem.
Let’s see what went wrong. What did I, I could have done this right, but I did it like this, I learned from it. But when we invest ourselves too much in it, when we get emotionally obsessed with it, then failure becomes an existential problem.
And that’s when fear overwhelms us. It is not so much the failure or the loss, that is the problem, it is what the failure and loss means to us, that is the problem. When we feel insecure, it is not so much because we lost something, but it is, it is what that loss means to us.
Somebody may lose a job, and somebody may decide to, okay, I have had enough, I have saved enough, I am going to resign. And now both of them externally, they are no longer working. But internally, there is a difference.
One is thinking, I lost something, the other is thinking, okay, now I am going to live my life the way I want it, I don’t want to be obliged to 9 to 5 job, let me explore life. So we usually think of happiness, distress, security, fear as a one-step event. This is what happened, and this has caused this emotion.
But it is not a one-step event. It is a two-step event. I will explain what I mean by this.
Can any of you, would any of you like to share which is your favourite desert? Anyone? Yes? Shrikhand. Shrikhand, okay. Thank you.
So Shrikhand. So suppose, say, Shrikhand is an Indian delicacy. How do you describe it in English? It’s a desert.
Okay. It’s a yoghurt-based sweet. Okay, it’s a yoghurt-based sweet.
Sour cream with sugar. Thank you. So, now suppose, you are going to an event, a party, a programme, and you come to know that there is going to be Shrikhand after that.
Then you look forward to it. And then maybe there is a talk, there is a discussion, there is a get-together, and at the end of it you are anticipating, when is the Shrikhand going to be there? When is the Shrikhand going to be there? And then when they start serving, you find there is no Shrikhand. This is what happened.
Then the host or the organiser says, actually, the cook made a mess of things. So, we are sorry, we can’t serve you Shrikhand. Now, when this happens, what will be our emotion? Maybe annoyance, irritation, anger, one of the negative emotions.
Now imagine there is somebody else who also likes Shrikhand. But, just a couple of days before, they have been diagnosed with diabetes. And they also know there is going to be Shrikhand.
And they are going to think, oh, everybody is going to take Shrikhand and I won’t be able to take. It will be torment. And then they come to know, there is no Shrikhand.
So, what happens for them? It’s relief. So, the event is the same. There is no Shrikhand.
But, for one person, there is annoyance. For the other person, there is relief. So, actually speaking, it’s not that the event causes the experience.
Between the event and the experience is our conception. Is our conception. So, as long as we think that this event is the cause of the experience, then we become dependent on events.
But we understand that between the event and the experience is the conception. Then, we can check the conception. We can evaluate the conception.
We can change the conception. So, this point, going back to the example of the metaphor of the outer scene, the inner screen and the inner seer. Actually, something may happen on the outer scene at a physical level that may create some stimulus on the inner screen.
Some emotion may appear over there on the inner screen. But, we are separate from it. When we understand that our experience of life involves two steps, not just one step.
It’s not just the situation that is causing this particular fear within me. It is how I am processing the situation. So, that inner security comes when we don’t invest ourselves excessively in externals.
We understand that I am the inner seer. I am playing various roles. Those roles are important for me.
But, those roles don’t define me. Then, we can have inner security based on our spirituality. Then, come to the last point.
R is release. Now, release means that there are, in all situations, some things in our control and some things not in our control. Trying to control that which is uncontrollable is the cause of dissipation of our energies.
Dissipation of our energy means, say, if a tennis match is going on. In tennis, one player serves and the other player returns. Now, when the player is returning, at that time, the player has no control over where the other serving player is going to serve.
It may be at the forehand, it may be at the backhand, it may be into the body. What the returning player has control over is, how best can I return? Get the ball back into the play. Similarly for us, in our life, sometimes we are serving.
Sometimes it is for us to take the initiative. It is for us to make the decisions. But, there are times when there is nothing for us to take as the initiative.
Just situations are going to come and we have to respond to them. So, a lot of frustration comes when we don’t mentally assess whether I am serving or whether I am returning. When we are serving, we are meant to take initiative.
When we are returning, we focus on responding the best way we can. Practically speaking, say, I am giving a talk right now. So now, when I am giving this talk, I am choosing what subject to speak.
I am going to choose what examples to give. So, in a sense, I am serving. Now, after this talk, if we have question answers, then at that time, I will be returning.
You will be asking the questions. I can’t choose. I can’t determine what question who is going to ask.
So, for us, letting go of things means recognising that we can’t be and we don’t need to be serving all the time. There are times when we need to return and we can return. In returning, the idea is our control is limited and we focus on that which is not controlled.
So, when we let go of things, often we feel that I am going to lose control. But what we are going to lose is not control. All that we are going to lose is the illusion that we had control.
When a player is returning, the player has no control. So, when we release, how do we do that? Actually, we are parts of a whole bigger than ourselves. If we catch a flight, at that time, we are concerned whether we reach on time or not, whether we have our boarding pass, whether we have our ID proof.
But we don’t worry whether the plane has enough fuel or not. We don’t worry whether the pilot has drunk too much or not. We don’t worry whether the pilot is, whether a competent person is flying the plane or not.
There is a whole system that will take care of that. In our day-to-day life, we focus on playing our part. If you look at our own body, when we eat food, we think I work hard, I earn my food and I maintain my life, I maintain my family members.
But actually, our eating food is just one small part of our bodily maintenance. From eating food to getting energy, it’s a long process. When scientists are trying to create artificial digestive machines, if the heart doesn’t work, we have pacemaker.
If the stomach doesn’t work, can we have artificial digestive machine, which we put into our body? We found that we won’t need a machine, we’ll need a factory. And not just a factory, a chain of factories. It’s a very complicated mechanism.
Usually, we just eat food and we get energy. The only time we think of our digestion is when it doesn’t work. But our very existence is dependent on factors that are beyond our control.
The process of converting food into energy is not entirely in our control. So we have to play we are a part, we have to play the part of the part. And there’s the whole that will take care of the whole.
This doesn’t mean that we let go of everything. It means that we don’t try to control everything. The attempt to seek security by controlling externals is itself the cause of great insecurity.
When we try to put change going around the whole world we try to position ourselves as separate. I want to be secure. I don’t want to be insecure.
That idea that we can separate ourselves from the flow of the world and we can exist as isolated beings, that itself is a misconception that puts us to fear. It’s like suppose a person builds up a castle in order to protect oneself. But when a castle is built that’s when people think there must be something a lot of, there must be a lot of money inside the castle.
That’s why the castle is there. So we build castle to protect ourselves from enemies from thieves, but the castle is what attracts thieves to come. Like that many times it is our attempts for security that set us up for insecurity.
So all of us if we can anchor ourselves in the reality of who we are then we can find security in insecurity. That means be apart. Be not apart.
Be not apart means we can’t secure security by standing apart from the flow of life which is ever changing. It’s like retaining breath in order to protect our breath and to protect our life. Be apart.
Be apart means let the breath flow. There is a flow of life and we go along with that. In a mood of service and contribution there is a whole and we are parts of the whole.
Whatever be the name that whole may have in different traditions. The point is that there is something bigger than us which is at this very moment playing a part bigger than our own part for doing our part. Right now when I am speaking I am conceiving some thoughts and I am expressing them.
But how the thoughts in my head lead to the movement of my voice cords in such a way that precise sounds which mean something come out I have no idea of this. So our very existence involves dependence on something bigger than ourselves. And when we let go then we will find that we will gain relief.
That relief is not so much the relief that comes by rejecting responsibility but it is the relief that comes by realising reality. By recognising and harmonising with reality. The Bhagavad Gita depicts how Arjuna who was a great warrior was completely fearful.
So fearful that he was in tears at the start of the Gita. But when he heard the wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita the result of that was he gave up his fear. He initially because of his fear just became paralysed and he put aside, yes he had raised his bow and readiness to fight he put aside his bow, I can’t fight.
But by hearing the Gita he picked up his bow. The bow represents our determination, our confidence, our enthusiasm. This is Arjuna put aside the bow in fear.
But by hearing the spiritual wisdom of the Gita he picked up his bow. Similarly for us, if we grow spiritually, if we understand our spirituality, the fearful situations may be there externally. But internally by our security, by finding security within, we will be able to regain our enthusiasm, our confidence, our determination and act in a way that will be constructive even among situations that are filled with insecurity.
I’ll summarise. I spoke on the theme of security and insecurity. I started by talking about how we all long for security but often there is more of a theatre of security rather than real security.
We imagine certain things that are going to make us secure just driving a car is more secure than flying in a plane or sitting at home is safer than going out in the road for jogging. But this is all based on a misconception. There are when we want security the way we can find it is by recognising first that externally there is no security.
If we think security means stopping the change of things. That is like stopping breath. The way to if we hold our breath, we will lose our breath, we will die.
So how can we flow with the change if we internally want some security? Security comes not by controlling the externals but by realising the internal. I talked about the three level model of the self, body, mind and soul. The hardware, software and the user.
Then we did a thought experiment in which we saw that how there is a physical stimulus say the hand might be clenching, unclenching and there is a mental image of that and then we are separate from that. So, we are the inner seer. What appears on our mind is the inner screen and then there is the outer scene.
So fear occurs when this inner screen becomes like a movie showing us becomes like a TV showing us a horror movie. Like I said that there was this TV with window which doubled as a TV showing a gorilla in the back. Then with this model we look at this acronym fear.
What was F? Doesn’t anyone remember? Focus. Yeah. Focus means what exactly is the problem right now? When the TV starts becoming a horror movie, pause it.
Get something tangible rather than a whole mist or a haze of possible scenarios. What exactly is the problem right now? Is engage. Yeah.
What can I do about it right now? So as soon as we ask ourselves these two questions, we come to the present and that decreases the imagination which is the major part of the aggravation of the fear. Then A was? Arise. Arise means we understand that beyond the situation and beyond the emotion, we exist secure.
Talking about thoughts can mean what appears in our inner screen as well as how we dwell on it. So a thought initially when it appears is like a snow pebble at the top of a hill. But by the time it comes down, it can lead us to self-destructive emotions and self-defeating actions.
That’s like it becomes a snowball. So by understanding we are inner seers, it’s different. We arise to that level.
Then we can observe and evaluate our thoughts. And last R was? Release. This means even our very existence depends on things beyond our existence.
So rather than seeking security by controlling everything. We recognise life is like a tennis game. Sometimes we are serving, sometimes we are returning.
So rather than seeking security we focus on the things that are in our control and let go of the things beyond our control. We play the part of the part and the whole will take care of the whole. When we speak we think of the thought but how the thought comes out as sounds we don’t know.
When we eat, how that food converts into energy we don’t know. As our existence is sustained by something bigger than ourselves by focussing on things that are in our control we can act constructively. And thus be a part, be not a part.
Rather than trying to be someone beyond the changes of the world who can control all the changes we go with the flow playing our part in a mood of service and contribution. Whatever, I conclude with this point whatever life may get us to our spirituality will get us through. If we develop ourselves spiritually, understand our spirituality then whatever life may get us to our spirituality will get us through.
Thank you very much. Are there any questions or comments? Yeah, please. …and I cannot pick up the phone and I said I’m just not picking up the phone, she’s worried something happened so I have to decline it with the text message I’m driving and now she’s you know like any special advice like for ladies? … … … Okay, so sometimes is there some special advice for how to deal with fear for ladies? I would say it’s not a matter of men or women, it’s a matter of psychology.
So all of us have our individual personality and our individual psychology. So as I said that all of us, see some of us may seek we get secure, we need order and structure in our lives. Some people want adventure and newness in their lives.
See some people like to say high risk sports go on top of a helicopter and jump down from the helicopter and they get a thrill out of it. Why are you risking your life like this? But that’s what gives them thrill. So basically the point I’m making is that each person is different and for each of us we may be able to live with lesser or greater levels of uncertainty.
Sometimes uncertainty just comes on its own way in life. That time we can’t control it. Sometimes insecurity just comes on its own.
But if we find out what our particular psychology is then we learn to orient our life accordingly. It’s something like weight lifting. That all of us have muscles but not all of us have muscles that are equally strong.
So some of us may be able to lift say 10 kg weight. Some of us may lift 20 kg weight. Somebody may lift 30 kg weight.
Somebody may lift much more. So now for each of us if somebody can lift 10 kg weight and then they start to lift 20 kg that will be too much. They lift only 5 kg they will not be exercising at all.
Now sometimes in a situation somebody may have to lift 20 kg also. If that comes up they lift it. But on an average somebody has a capacity of 10 kg they can lift 10 kg maybe 11 kg.
That’s how their muscles will grow. So like that for all of us we can live with certain levels of certainty certain levels of order and certain levels of unpredictability. So we need to orient our life in such a way that whatever is the harmonious level for us we find that.
That means some people they just have a habit they disappear for days and days they don’t tell any news to anyone else. And then somebody else ask them where were you? Why didn’t you respond? Why are you so worried? But if the other person’s need is for knowledge then we have to understand that each person has their own psychology. So we have to find out in our own individual life and in our relationships how to function at a level that is equitable for each person.
And that that’s why if we do not recognise this individuality in fear management and the same situation which might cause excitement to one person might cause anxiety to the other person. So it’s not that the second person is fearful or the first person is fearless. It is just that each psychology is different.
So we have to find out the equitable way in which we can function ourselves and function in our relationships. Say somebody has a greater need for order and structure then while working with them we have to accommodate that need. And somebody has a greater need for adventure and exploration then the other person has to come in.
This is what this person’s nature is. We have to adapt ourselves. Does this answer your question? Any other question? Yes.
Well this is about to discharge. We want to connect this. It’s 10 percent.
So when there are a lot of unpredictable forces at work in our workplace and amidst those how do we respond and function properly? In general when a particular situation comes in our life there is the situation and there is a response. And the situations are not in our control. Sometimes we can control them to some extent but quite often the situations are not in our control.
So when the impulsive response comes up with this. Somebody does something and we feel like doing like that. So at that time if we can we can’t always be sometimes the situation is so urgent that we may not be able to think and plan and decide.
But overall if we learn to understand how we work and how other people work then we can slowly gravitate towards the right response. Say for example if a firefighter is new and this firefighter has just gone new with this fire and they rush there with the firefighting van and then they get out and then they see such a big fire. Become fearful and the hose that is in their hands drops.
And then somebody has to pick up the hose. Do this. Okay.
Okay. Now when there is a seasoned firefighter even the seasoned firefighter when they see a big fire there may still be fear. But the training comes into the picture.
The instincts that come from the training. Okay. The fire is here.
Let’s attack it from this side. Let’s go to the shore water over there. So the difference between the seasoned with the novice firefighter and the seasoned firefighter is actually not that there is no fear.
Both of them have fear. But by the training the right response comes faster. So similarly for us there will be unpredictable situations which we can’t do much about.
Sometimes people will speak in a particular way. Sometimes things may go wrong in a terrible way. So at that time if we are self-observant not at that time but overall what are the kind of situations that come in? This was the response that I had last time.
But this is the response I can have. So if we gradually become self-observant then we will move towards the right response. It’s not necessarily that there is a wrong response or the right response in terms of one zero digital logic.
It’s more of analogue. There is a wrong response but then as soon as you realise you do a course correction and come towards the right response. And the more we grow spiritually the more we can become self-observant.
Actually the best way to be involved in the situation is to be not emotionally carried away by the situation. There is a thin line between absorption and obsession. Absorption is where we are focused on doing the best that we can.
But obsession is where we become manic that if this doesn’t work out we just get so overwhelmed that we are not thinking clearly. We want to be intense not tense. We want to be intense not tense.
And the difference between the two happens based on whether we can do self-observation. This is the situation, this is how I need to act right now. So when we are absorbed, when we are doing something we will be fully into it.
But we also have the capacity for withdrawal when we want to. But when there is obsession, there is no capacity for withdrawal. Because it consumes us and it just sucks in.
The situation sucks us in like a black hole with no chance to come out. But when there is that self-awareness, when there is spiritual understanding then we can choose to invest our consciousness when we need to and we can choose to divest our consciousness when we need to. And that way we can if we are wrong if the unhealthy response comes up we realise it and we gravitate towards the healthy response and then we invest ourselves fully.
Does that answer your question? I think the way you would figure out is to come to present truth Ok, I got it. You just talk about that picture and do something that you need to do. Ok, I get your question.
When somebody is in a particular fearful situation at that time what can I do? I was talking more about broad principles of relationship dynamics. That is some people have a greater need to know and some people have a greater need to explore. But specifically when there is fear applying this four point acronym what can I do about it? What exactly is the problem right now? Now for arising upwards there are different ways.
Some people might find just deep breathing as a means to calm themselves. Some people might find thought exercises where we visualise that may help them to raise their consciousness. Some people find meditation as a way to raise the consciousness.
Some people may find mantra chanting as a means to raise the consciousness. So basically at that time we have to find out what is the activity that can help us raise our consciousness. So it may be by experience, by experimentation, by observation, self observation, we find out this is what I can do by which I can elevate my consciousness.
And then after that we can deal with it practically. Focus and engage are about dealing with it practically. But sometimes while dealing with it practically still the fear overwhelms us.
So we need to raise our consciousness. So mantra chanting, breathing, visualisation, whatever way we can raise our consciousness, that’s what we should do at that time. And then we can deal with the situation thereafter.
Thank you very much. So we have a few books here. This is Leadership Sutras from the Bhagavad Gita.
This is a conversation which explains the principles of the Bhagavad Gita as they apply in a leadership context of the corporate world. There are several other books. This is Timeless Wisdom on Current Issues which talks about how the spiritual wisdom of the Yoga texts is relevant in today’s world.
Then we have Bhagavad Gita, this is Gita for Daily Enrichment. This is 365 Reflections on the Bhagavad Gita. Each of around 300 words which you can apply in your day to day life.
Then we also have a card deck or a meditation cards. 365 meditation cards based on the Bhagavad Gita verses inspired by them. So each of them gives one thought which you can put on your table and you can meditate on it.
This has topics like nourish your relationships, nourish your devotion, nourish yourself. We have mindfulness, we have emotional maturity, we have effective communication, we have work life balance. So each of them is a quote.
And there is a theme over here which gives explains the themes. So you could have this at your desk. We also have couple of pen drives.
There is one pen drive which is around 2500 question answers on various top spiritual topics. And another is kind of talks which I had given today. There are about 200 talks which are given in companies, colleges and various places on mind relationships and self management.
So thank you very much.