Finding security in insecurity
Thank you very much for coming today. I am audible. Thank you very much for coming today.
Afternoon and I'll speak on the topic of seeking security and insecurity. Learning to flourish amidst change. For all of us, when we go through life, we want some kind of steadiness, some kind of stable, stable platform on which we can function.
And our whole life, our whole life is actually right from our day-to-day efforts to our technological efforts. They're all basically we're looking for security. We may have for our physical data, we have boards with lockers.
For our digital data, we may have backups. It's the same principle. We're looking for security.
In our relationships, we may seek assurances from others. We want to have some insurances by which we want to make sure that we don't lose things. And this way, various things that we do essentially are for seeking security.
And where there's threat of life, we may be armours. Or we may as a nation or a state come together to have armies. Through all these, we're looking for security.
And for me, one of the first incidents when I was about 7 or 8 years old, I had gone to a zoo. And there, in that zoo, there was a cheetah which suddenly broke free. And it broke free, it was pandemonium everywhere.
But after some time, when the people came to catch the cheetah and put it back, what struck them was actually the cheetah was as fearful as everyone else. People were afraid of the cheetah, but all the people, the animal itself was afraid of everyone else. And when he got his trainer whom he knew over there, all these people were coming and looking at him, poking him a little bit, poking that creature.
It was fearful. So sometimes, when something appears to be threatening also, yes, it may be that it's a fear for us, but every aggression that somebody is doing, most aggression also arises from insecurity. When somebody is aggressive, they create insecurity within us.
But often their aggressiveness comes from their own insecurity. So insecurity can be financial, it can be relational, it can be emotional, it can be physical, it can be national. So various activities that we do are all motivated by this urge for security.
Currently, immigration is a big issue nationally in America as well as in Europe sometime ago, there also. Even in India, we have neighbouring countries from which immigrants are coming. And this also is a security issue.
So if we look at our lives, most of the things that we do are motivated at some level by the desire to seek security. Now in this search for security, often there is what has been called the security theatre. It's like when there's a theatre, in the theatre there is a theatrical performance that is done.
And what is done in the performance doesn't actually happen in reality. So security theatre means those activities that are done which make us feel that we are becoming more secure. But whether they actually contribute to security or not, that is open to question.
After the 9-11 terror attacks happened, there was for some time almost a paranoia about flying. And people thought that maybe if I drive my own car, if we are just passengers in a plane where we have very little control over the fate of the plane. On the other hand, if we are driving our own car, it appears as if we have greater control.
Now statistically speaking, the percentage of casualties because of car accidents is much more than that because of plane accidents. And that also taking into consideration how many people travel. But still even percentage wise, plane travel is safer than car travel.
But still, when we feel that I am in control, we think we will have greater safety. Not only that, if say somebody is sitting at home watching TV, maybe they are watching movies or watching news of how crime is increasing here, crime is increasing there. And sometimes you are walking on the streets and some thug might come and rob us of something, attack us.
And people may be thinking that, okay, being in my home comfortably watching TV is safer. Somebody, say, goes out on the streets to walk, to jog, to exercise. There is greater danger that somebody might attack.
Yes, there is a danger of intruders attacking. But statistically speaking again, sitting at home and watching TV for long hours may set one up for a heart attack. And the percentage of people succumbing to heart attacks is much more than number of people who succumb to attack by intruders while they are on the streets.
So the point I am making from this is that there are certain activities which create the illusion of security. And often the illusion of security is the greatest enemy of security. One of my friends is in the Air Force.
He was telling me that, actually, because now we have a lot of security check-in before we go to the airport. One disadvantage of that is people will become complacent. Oh, there is so much security check-up, there is nothing to be worried about.
But the fact is there is no protector greater than alertness. If anything suspicious there, security theatre means the activity that we may do in our life which we may do individually or we may do socially or nationally, which create an illusion of security. But we do not actually increase the security in reality.
Now moving forward, if we consider, actually as far as security is concerned, it is almost at one level impossibility. We live in a world of constant change. If we consider our breathing, if we try to hold our breath, we lose our breath.
The way to protect our breath, the way to protect our breath is to keep it flowing. The moment we think, okay, this breath, if somebody thinks there is so much pollution out there, if I breathe in, I might get polluted. Okay, that's possible, but if you don't breathe in, you are going to die.
So, just as the secure state in our breathing state is not holding the breath, it is letting the breath flow in and out. A society whose goal is security, it becomes like a society where everybody is having a breath retention contest. The person who tries to retain their breath the most, that person may end up dying first.
So, security is definitely important, just as our breath is important for our life, but the way to seek security, way to protect our breath is not by holding our breath. It is by letting it flow. Similarly, the way to seek security is not necessarily by creating external structure that will provide us security.
Because, in some ways, we could say that a person who stays in house arrest would be the safest. But is that security worth having? A person is protected by guards, is at home, is reasonably comfortable. We want security, but we want something more than security in our life.
We want a purpose in our life. We want something positive to live for and in the pursuit of something positive, we want security. So, let's consider financial security.
If we consider money, it's important in our lives. Making money is important, but what we make with money is even more important. After we get money, what do we do with it? Money is not what we live for.
It is what we live with. It's a resource and it's a vital resource. But when money becomes the purpose of life, then that distorts the priority of our life.
A person whose only purpose is to earn more and more money, that person will actually be more insecure than a person who does not have that much money, but who has a meaningful purpose for their life. So, security is important, but security is itself not the ultimate end. We want security for some purposeful end in our life.
Now, to understand what this purposeful end is, we need to look at a broader picture of our own life and our own self. If we look at our life and our longing for security, our security, ultimately the security that we want is the security of life. It's financial security, relational security.
Ultimately, it's we want to live. Now, if we look at the world around us, nothing stays forever. And yet, every one of us has a deep desire to live forever and to love forever.
Most of the movies and novels are about romance. And most romance is about happily ever after. In real life, no relationship lasts forever.
And yet, we all desire to live and live forever. Where does this desire come from? If we, you see, there's a remote African tribe where people are completely disconnected from the rest of the world. No internet, no cell phones.
And one day, a child comes and tells his mother, Mom, I want a pizza. What is the first question the mother will ask? When did you hear about a pizza? There's nothing in the environment which will give the child the idea of a pizza. So then, if there's nothing externally that will give rise to the desire for a pizza, where does the desire come from? So similarly for us, if we look at the world around us, everything around us is changing.
Nothing lasts forever. When this kind of change is there, why would we at all desire to have something unchanging? Why do we even want security? Even the giant mountains, they don't last forever. So our desire for security, our desire for continuity, our desire for something unchanging to hold on to, that comes from our core.
It doesn't come from our externals, it comes from our internals. And that core is our spiritual essence. Our spiritual essence is indestructible.
And that indestructible essence that is the source of our present longing for security. So the Bhagavad Gita is an ancient yoga text that offers us understanding of the self which involves three levels. So we have this three level model of the self.
The body, mind and soul. The body is like the hardware, the mind like the software and the soul like the user. Now we as the we as consciousness, as the source of the consciousness and the soul, we at our core are indestructible.
This is what the Bhagavad Gita tells us. This is what yoga texts they ultimately point to. Now this it's a model of the self.
Let's try to see if we could get some further understanding of this model. Let's do a simple thought experiment to illustrate this. So I had come here about 4-5 months ago.
How many of you were there at that time? Ok. Fine. I had done some thought experiment at that time.
So I was wondering whether I should repeat that or do another one. That's what I was asking. So now when you are seated, you can be comfortable and then you can close your eyes.
As you close your eyes, now you can take 3 deep breaths. Now try to notice your body and see which part of your body is the most tense. Your fist might be clenched.
Your feet might be tensed. Maybe your forehead, your brows are clamped down. Whatever part of your body that you notice is tense, try to focus your attention on that.
Suppose you notice tension in your hands. Try to focus your attention on your hands and open your hands and release all the tension that is there. As you are focussing your attention on the hands, try to visualise your hands in front of you in your mind's eye.
Clench your fist once again. Clench it as tightly as possible. Visualise it on that inner screen and then let go.
Release it. And as you release it, you see that fist on your inner screen. As it opens up, the full palm is opened.
And as you unclench the fist, you feel the tension going out of your arm. You feel the tension going out of your body. You feel yourself relaxing.
Now, as you are observing on that inner screen, your hand, the image of your hand may stay there or it may flicker and something else may appear. Suppose some other part of your body appears. Think of your feet.
If you feel that they are tense, whatever tension is there, just repeat this exercise. Tighten it and then release it. As you release it, you feel the tension going from your feet, from your foot as well as from the rest of your body.
Conceptually, you could repeat this exercise for every part of your body. You could do it for your belly, your heart, your lungs, even your brain. You could visualise it appearing in front of you, in your mind's eye.
Clenching it and tightening it, releasing it. And you will feel yourself relaxing. Through it all, you remain the observer.
You observe various parts of the body appearing on your mind's eye, on your inner screen. But you remain different from it all. You remain the observer of it.
You remain the experiencer of it. The inner screen on which various parts of your body appear, that inner screen is your mind. And the seer of that inner screen, the observer who notices tension and who senses relaxation, that observer is you.
That is the soul, the consciousness. You can take one deep breath and open your eyes. Thank you.
This thought exercise, which also involves a little physical exercise, it actually can make us aware of our body and aware of ourselves as different from our body. It makes us aware of which parts of our body are tense. So, we become aware of our body.
But as we become aware of our body, we also understand that I am the awareness of the awareness. I am someone who is aware of the fact that I am aware. So, that awareness is different from the body.
And within this exercise, when we did this further visualisation of trying to visualise that part of the body on that inner screen, that is the mind's eye. So, basically, when normal perception happens, it's a three-phase experience. There is the outer scene.
Say, for example, you are looking at me, I am looking at you. That's the outer scene. Then there is the inner screen on which the image from the outer scene appears.
And then there is the inner seer who is observing that. Right now, when you are hearing me, if suddenly, you remember, where did I put my car keys? Are they with me? Have I lost them? Will someone steal my car? What will happen if my car gets stolen? One thought comes up, and immediately, for a few moments, you may not be aware of what was spoken or what was happening. Why does it happen? Because on the inner screen, something else is coming.
So, our insecurity, how it arises, and how we can deal with it, we'll try to understand using this model, this three-level model of the self, which involves the outer scene, the inner screen, and the inner seer. So, I'll talk about the fear acronym. So, this is four points for dealing with fear.
Focus, engage, arise, and release. Let's begin with the first one. Focus.
Focus means when fear starts coming up within us, we need to focus our attention, but the inner screen on which we are meant to see the outer world, it is meant to be like a window to the outer world, but it becomes like a movie, like a TV screen. About six months ago, I had come here to California, and I had been to a friend's place, and he had a house in the backside, there was a view of the forest, and we were sitting, big window, chatting, while looking at the window, and suddenly I noticed from the window a huge gorilla moving rapidly towards the window. It was giant, like something we might see in Planet of the Apes, and this charged on, about to smash the window.
I was alarmed, I looked at him, and he was smiling, grinning. What's happening? And then I looked at him, he had something in his hands, so then I looked, he had some kind of device, which looked like a remote, and then, as I observed, he pressed something, and the gorilla disappeared. What is this? And he told me that he had designed that window in such a way that the window could double as a TV screen.
So he presses a button, and the window changes into a TV screen. And when that happens, just for fun, he had arranged for an animated display of a gorilla appearing with the same background as is seen through the window. So at one moment, you see the beautiful scenery, and next moment, suddenly a gorilla appears.
So if somebody doesn't know what is happening, they will not know when the window is functioning as a window, and when it has started functioning as a TV. And once it starts functioning as a TV, all kinds of apparitions can appear over there. Similarly for us, when we feel insecure, when we feel fear, essentially what happens when we feel fear is, the inner screen becomes like a TV screen.
And it starts displaying a horror movie. And it is that horror movie that is being displayed that causes fear. Say we come to office, and we see a strange look in our boss' eyes.
Just see that look and then we start thinking, why is my boss looking like this? Am I going to be fired? Oh, if I am fired, then how will I pay the mortgage for my house? Oh, if I can't pay the mortgage, then I'll be evicted. Where will I stay? Oh, I'll have to stay on the streets. But it's so cold.
How will I stay in the cold? Now right now, we may be feeling cold because of the AC. But, when the movie starts inside us, we may start feeling cold because of thinking that we'll be out in the cold. So for us, most of the time when fear occurs, it is because some stimulus from the outside triggers a movie inside us.
And that movie is a horror movie. And that is what causes fear. That horror movie, this may go wrong, that may go wrong, that may go wrong.
And depending on how strongly emotionally invested we are in something, the more vivid and multicoloured and graphic the movie comes out to be. And that's how we get overcome by fear. So, the first step for dealing with fear is focus.
Focus means we ask ourselves, as soon as this screen starts changing into a TV, pause the TV. The TV is showing a movie. Pause the movie.
And we pause it by asking a question. What exactly is the problem right now? Our mind may imagine, this is a problem, that is a problem. Yes, there are many problems that are possible, but right now, what is the problem? Worry is often like the interest we pay on loans we haven't yet taken.
So, if you look at most of our worries, they are about future eventualities. They may happen, they may not happen. And if they happen, we have to deal with them.
But the way we deal with them is in the present. And this question, what exactly is the problem right now? Oh, I might be fired. Okay, what exactly is the problem right now? Oh, but if I am fired, what exactly is the problem right now? Oh, my boss looked at me in a strange way.
What exactly is the problem right now? Oh, I had some work and I did not meet the deadline. Yes. So, as soon as fear appears like a mist, it just paralyses us.
This, this, this. We can't see anything. But what exactly is the problem? And we ask this question.
If we have a flashlight and if we have a dis-focused light and we flash it in the sky, we will not see anything. But if we have a flashlight and we focus it in one direction, then we can see the path ahead. Similarly for us, this question focusses our attention.
What exactly is the problem right now? Next is E. E is engage. Now, on the inner screen, a horror movie has started off. And that horror movie may start playing whatever it wants.
But it's our screen and we can choose what appears on the inner screen. So, we direct that inner screen by asking the second question. What can I do about this right now? What can I do about this right now? Sociologists and psychologists have studied about when people worry the most.
Now, obviously, it's not that people have a daily worry time. Every evening, 7 to 7.30 is my worry time. In my schedule, I'll put it.
This is the time to worry. It's not like that. Worry at one level play a constant background noise that's going on within us.
However, worry catches us the most when we are not doing anything constructive. During our idle time, our mind works overtime. Just when we thought, now I have done my work, now let me relax.
That's the time when we start worrying the most. So, by these two activities, focus and engage, we get the mind to focus on two concentrate on the present. As it says, live in the present.
So, we interact with the world through our observation and through our action. So, focus directs our observation towards the present. What exactly is the problem right now? And engage directs our action towards the present.
What can I do about it right now? And just by doing these two things, the hold of fear on us will decrease. Now, the fear inducing problem may still be there and it needs to be dealt with. But often, the fearsome situation is not the problem.
The fear inducing situation is not the problem. The fear induced within us is the problem. There is a problematic situation, we can deal with it.
Life determines our problems. But our mind determines the size of those problems. The more we dwell on it, the more this horror movie moves forward, forward, forward, the more we become.
So, focus and engage get us down to the practicals. What can I do about it right now? I grew up in Mumbai which is the financial capital of India and is also educational hub. So, one of the prominent medical colleges in that city, we had a student.
She used to come for some of our spiritual programmes and she was a topper. Topper is an Indian word. It just means, she was number one.
Always, she made medical college there, 8 semesters. 7th semester, she was first in the university. And in the 8th semester also, she prepared very well, well on track to come first.
But, somehow, before her exam, she got the fear. One thought appeared. What if I don't come first? What if I don't come first? Oh, I've got such a reputation.
Everybody respects me as the number one. What if I don't come first? And that one thought grew within her so much. She started becoming jittery.
She started becoming fearful. She became paranoid. And to the horror of everyone else, the night before her exam, she committed suicide.
For no reason. She was well prepared for her exams. And, even if she had not come first, what's the big deal? She would have come second or third.
Her career was bright ahead. But, just that thought, what if I don't come first? Now, for us, when we think of it, it seems absurd. Why would anyone commit suicide over this? But, for her, what was happening? That one thought, if I don't come first, that started a horror move inside her.
And as that horror move went further and further and further, it made her feel that her life itself was unbearable. So, focus and engage get us back to the present so that we can deal with the situation as it is. Then we have, third, is arise.
Arise means that we have, I talked about this body, mind and soul, three-level reality. Now, we exist at the third level. In the example of the outer screen, inner scene, inner screen and inner sphere, it's horizontal like this.
We could make that vertical. Body, mind and soul. So, there are situations and there are emotions.
But, we exist above our situations and above our emotions. As spiritual beings, as the observer, we are not affected by any of these. Now, what do we mean we are not affected? Normally, we think of our emotions, happiness, distress, anger, fear, as results of the situation.
So, we usually think of our experience of life, our experience of emotions, say, happiness. We think of it as a happiness or distress as a one-step process. This is the cause, this is the result.
This thing happened, that's why I'm afraid. This thing happened, that's why I'm unhappy. However, our experience is never a one-step process.
From this to this. There are two steps in between. The same situation doesn't automatically create a particular experience for us.
Let's take a simple example. Suppose, there's a there's some programme, maybe somebody's birthday, and they're throwing a party, and there's a cake, and there's a feast after that. So, suppose there's a dessert over there.
Would anyone like to share what is their favourite dessert? Ice cream. Just ice cream? Any specific ice cream? Vanilla bean. Thank you.
So, suppose you know that there is vanilla bean ice cream over there. Now, naturally, if you like that ice cream, you'll be anticipating. When will I get it? When will the ice cream come? And then, the whole event gets over, and then the food is being served, and you notice there's no ice cream over there.
What happened? And you ask the organisers, you don't want to seem too greedy, but at the same time discreetly ask, and the organisers say, oh, we're sorry. Actually, the vendor was supposed to give it, he didn't deliver it on time, so we're not able to have it. Now, when that same ice cream, that ice cream is not there, it'll create annoyance, maybe irritation within us.
But, suppose, say, somebody who also likes vanilla ice cream, that person, two days before that party, is diagnosed with diabetes. And it's true, you cannot eat ice creams. Now, that person knows there's going to be ice cream over there.
It's going to be pure agony. Everybody will be eating ice cream, and I won't get any ice cream. And when that person comes to know, there's no ice cream.
So, the lack of the ice cream will actually bring relief. So, what happened over here? The situation is the same, there's no ice cream. But, for one person, it caused irritation, for another, it provided relief.
So, the point I'm making here is that the situation doesn't immediately determine our experience. The situation is interpreted by us, by our mind, according to context. And that determines our experience.
So, similarly, fear is not a one-step experience. This causes this. Yes, that particular situation is there, but for most of us, say, if a fire breaks out, there'll be fear.
If there's a firefighter, for them, if a fire breaks out, they will feel thrilled. Now, I can do some action. Otherwise, I just sit at this table and do nothing.
So, when we arrive, by such analysis, we're not just talking about the relativity of the experience. That's one aspect of it. But what I'm talking about is that we exist above our situations.
And the situations affect us only to the extent we let them affect us. And further about this, we exist not only above our situations, we exist also above our emotions. What do I mean above our emotions? If you remember, I talked about this, the outer screen, which is outer sea, which is the physical reality.
The inner screen, that is the mental reality. And then we are the inner seer. So, when we talk about emotions, they appear on the inner screen.
And then we exist above them as their observer. This can be understood. This is a little abstract.
Before we go to emotions, normally everything that we experience, it begins with a thought. We think of something and then we feel something about it. That's how emotion comes up.
Now the word thought, we use in two different senses. One is I got a thought. And the other is I have given this a lot of thought.
When I say I got a thought, it's like on the inner screen, some stimulus has popped up. I have given this a lot of thought means, I have paid my attention to this and I have analysed it. I have understood it.
The same applies to our emotions also. An emotion can be something that appears within us. So, somebody does something which makes us angry.
Something happens that creates fear within us. So, if we understand fear is something that is appearing on my inner screen. Now, I can choose whether I focus on it or I don't focus on it.
I exist beyond my emotions. That doesn't mean that we neglect or suppress our emotions. It means simply that we process our emotions appropriately.
So, arise means that we realise that our essence, we are the observer, the seer who exists beyond our situations and beyond our emotions. When we understand this point about arise, the result of this is that we see failure as a practical problem, not an existential problem. What is the difference between the practical problem and existential problem? Many times, if we fail, we think as if my life is over.
If somebody fails at a particular interview, fails at a particular project. When we invest ourselves too much. So, for this girl, she had invested herself so much in her academic career, and not just in her academic career, in her identity that I am the number one student.
Just the possibility that I might not be number one, that shook her so much that she preferred ending her life rather than facing that possibility. So, essentially, if we recognise that I exist above the situation, then, yes, if something goes wrong, it's a failure, I have to deal with it. But it doesn't threaten me personally.
Failure is a practical problem, not an existential problem. My self-existence remains secure beyond all this. And last part is R is Release.
Release means that there are certain things which are not in our control. And worrying about them does two things. First is, it decreases our ability to deal with the things that are in our control.
And second is that it simply increases our anxiety. Because anyway, we can't do anything about it. Now, normally, we think of release as a sign of defeat, a sign of how can I let go of things.
I have to keep control. I have to manage things. We do have to do our part in managing things.
But, actually, we are parts of a whole far bigger than ourselves. And, suppose we board a plane. Now, when we are going to board a plane, we are concerned that I should reach on time, I should have my boarding pass, I should have my ID proof.
But, we are not worried whether the plane has enough fuel or not. We don't worry what if the pilot is drunk. We know there is a whole system that will take care of those things.
Similarly, if we look at our own bodies, we know that to take care of our body we have to eat food properly. But, how food converts into energy, we don't know about it. Researchers, now that technology is advancing, we try to create artificial substitutes for body organs.
If the arm is not working, we can have a prosthetic arm. If the heart is not working properly, we can have a pacemaker. So, the attempt is also being made to create, if somebody's digestive system doesn't work, can we create an artificial digestive machine? Now, the attempts are going on, but researchers have realised that what we require is not a digestive machine, but a digestive factory.
Such a complicated process. When we eat food, how that food converts into energy, we just don't know. The only time we think about our digestion is when it doesn't work.
Otherwise, we just take it for granted. Our very existence is dependent on many factors which are beyond our control. This letting go is not abandoning.
We let go of the things that are not in our control so that we can focus on the things that are in our control. In trying to control the things that are not in our control, we only increase our fear. But in focussing on the things that are in our control, we can deal with the situation better.
I'll conclude with two examples about this point of letting go and being responsible, being committed. So, if we consider life to be like a tennis match. In a tennis match, sometimes the player is serving, sometimes the player is returning.
When the player is returning, at that time, the player has very little control. The player may have very strong forehand. But, if the ball comes on the backhand, the player cannot hit on the forehand.
The player hits on the forehand and only hit empty air. So, when the player is returning, the area of control for the player is very less. If the player starts worrying, oh, what if the serve comes on my backhand? My backhand is not so good.
Now, that fear will only make that player paralysed. And, if the ball comes on the backhand also, the player will not be able to return. Even if it comes on the forehand, the player will be worried.
So, when some things are not in our control, we just have to accept what comes and deal with it as it comes. But, when things are in our control, when the player is serving, the player has to do the best thing, serve the best possible, be as assertive and aggressive as required. So, the difference is, between the player, when they are serving and returning, the intent is the same.
The intent is to play in such a way that they win. But, the way they play, at least at the start of the game, is different. So, when we release, that is the time we acknowledge that right now, in this situation, I have to return.
Whatever life sends my way, I have to return it. If I try to control what life sends my way, I can't do that. So, for example, now, this talk is almost coming to an end.
When I am giving the talk, in a sense, I am serving. I am in control. What topic I am going to speak, which direction I am going to take, which example I am going to give, all that is in my control.
But, after the talk gets over, then if we have question-answers, at that time, I will be returning. I can't control what question is going to come. If I start worrying, or if somebody asks a difficult question that I can't answer, I start worrying about that, then I won't be able to speak what I can speak also.
So, release helps us to again focus on the things that I know. And, by doing this, we, applying this F-E-A-R, we understand that we are a part of something bigger than ourselves. Instead of trying to stand apart, thinking that I can have security while the whole world around me changes.
We understand that we are a part of the whole. And, while being a part of the whole, we play our part, and the whole will take care of the whole. So, we understand that we are a part, but we are also a part of the whole.
When we face fear, the best reaction is not to immediately respond, which would be really a reaction, but if we can pause, if we can introspect, if we can focus, engage, arise and release, then we'll find that we'll be able to respond much better to the fears. Whatever life may get us to, if we grow spiritually, then our spirituality will get us through. Whatever life may get us to, our spirituality will get us through.
I'll summarise. I spoke on the topic of finding security in security. I started by talking of how practically most of our life is a search for security.
From vaults to backups, from assurances to insurances, from armours to armies, we're all looking for security. And in this search of security, we often succumb to the lure of the security theatre. That means, we make elaborate arrangements for security, which only increase the illusion of security, not the actual security in reality.
We think that if I'm driving a car, I might be safer than if I'm flying in a plane. If I'm sitting home and watching TV, I might be safer than if I'm jogging on the streets. But, there is insecurity at one level everywhere.
And then, we can ask this question, where does insecurity…first of all, insecurity comes from the change that is constantly happening outside. So, where does our urge for security come from? So, the child in a remote tribe who has never heard of a pizza, desiring a pizza, raises the question. Similarly, our urge for security, our longing for security doesn't come from our external.
Because nothing external lasts forever. It comes from our internal, that is the indestructible essence within us. In that connection, I talked about this three-level model of the self, the body, mind and the soul, which is hardware, software and user.
And we did a thought experiment of relaxing, of tense and relaxing different parts of the body to understand how we are the observers of the body. And inside us, even when the eyes are closed, we can see a mental picture of the bodily part and then we observe that also. That means we are observer of the body and we are observer of the mind, which can highlight various things, including the body.
So, the outer screen, outer scene is the body, physical reality. The inner screen is the mind and the soul is the inner seer. Then I talked about acronym FEAR, for dealing with fear.
Does anyone remember what this F-E-A-R was? F was? Focus. Thank you. So, when the inner screen becomes like a TV showing a horror movie, that's when fear overcomes us.
So, like that suddenly seeing a gorilla outside the window. So, then we pause that movie by asking the question, what exactly is the problem right now? Then E was? Engage. Thank you.
That means we direct the inner screen to show a particular thing, rather than just going here and there. What can I do about this right now? Without these two questions, we are like fighting mist. But with these two questions, we get some practical action to do.
During our idle time, our mind works overtime. So, worry is like the tax that we pay on loans that we have not yet taken. So, bring our focus back to the present.
However, what if the present itself is fearful? Not just future possibility, but if the present itself is fearful, then what do we do? Then I talk about A. A was what? Arise. Thank you. So, arise means I understand that I am the observer of my situations and I am the observer of my emotions.
With respect to situations, you know the example of say, going for a party and there is, the desired desert is not there. One person might feel annoyance, other person might feel relief. So, our experience is not just a one step event.
This event causes this experience. Rather, it's two steps. And by understanding this, different people can experience the same situation differently.
We understand that we are observers. We are processors of the situation. And similarly, with respect to our emotions also, we can say that a thought is an event that appears inside us.
I got a thought. A thought refers to the attention that we give. That is, I give this lot of thought.
So, when the emotion appears within us, either we can identify with the emotion, I am feeling fear and I become fearful. Or, I can identify the emotion as fear appearing on the inner scope. I observe it and I distance myself from it.
R was release. Release means that if we understand that we are a part of something bigger than ourselves and we let go of the things that are not in our control, then we can catch hold of the things that are in our control. And this arise and release, where we understand that we exist at the spiritual level and we let go of those things that are not in our control, this arise and release becomes more and more possible if we grow spiritually.
By meditation, by mantra chanting, by various processes for self-awareness, we raise our consciousness to the spiritual level. And then, I conclude by saying that whatever life may get us through, our spirituality will get us through. Thank you very much.
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … So we are not talking here about neglecting or rejecting all fear inducing stimuli as just fantasy of the mind. There are some situations in which there is a real cause for fear and that's why engage means we are dealing with it practically also. So generally we think of our emotions in two terms, either I express it or I repress it.
But there is a third option, neither expressing nor repressing but processing. Processing means that I observe the emotion and then if we are distanced from it, we can evaluate it. One very good way to process our emotions is to treat ourselves like a second person.
This is this idea of treating ourselves like another person. This is implicit in spiritual texts where we do self observation. So imagine if a friend, maybe a sister or some relative, someone comes to you with the same situation that you are facing right now, how would you guide that person? So certainly if they are fearful, we love them, we are concerned about them.
So we will be concerned about their emotions also. But we won't let ourselves be dragged away by their emotions. Just because they are fearful doesn't mean we will immediately become fearful.
We will observe, we will analyse and then we will counsel them. Similarly, if we could see that our mind is a being different from us, it's an entity different from us and we have to evaluate it, no doubt. But after evaluating it, we respond to it.
Then sometimes the thoughts that come inside us, they could be very important intuitions and we do have to respond to them positively, take them into account. The point here is that we don't impulsively give in to whatever comes, we process it. And over a period of time we also learn when it is our impulses speaking and when it is our intuitions speaking.
There are times when we know that in this situation I get tense. If we do observe ourselves in the past, situations, say if I am studying in a particular field or I am working in a particular field, that field I am good at, then when some voice comes up within me, this is a good idea, I am an expert in this field, this idea has come. But there are certain areas where we tend to be vulnerable, where we tend to be insecure and in that area a particular thought is coming up, what if this goes on, what if that goes on.
Now that is more likely to be just a fearful impulse than any wise intuition. So rather than worrying so much about whether something is an intuition or an impulse, we first focus on distancing ourselves from it and then we process it. If we process it, then naturally we will be able to decide, okay, this is an intuition, let me act on it, act positively with this, and if it is an impulse, then let me distance myself from it.
Does that answer your question? Yes. So it sounds like always. Should we not always act immediately? Not necessarily, because there are times when we are good at some things.
So sometimes it is called gut feeling, we use some different words, I got a hunch. So if somebody is good at something, say for example, some people are very good at say interior home design. They just come into a room and somebody might have been living in that room for 10 years, but they don't think of it, they say, you move the sofa here, you put this frame here, you put a curtain over here, it will look much better.
Now you do that immediately, hey, it's great, that's how it is. So where we are good at, we already have those instincts and even acting immediately on it, sometimes that's the time when the idea has come, we will catch it. Now with respect to warnings, don't do this.
So for example, when we are working in some creative field and we feel, this is not going to work, I should not do this. Now at that point, it's a little grey zone. Is it our fear speaking, or is it our experience or our intuition speaking? At that time, the best thing to do is, if it's an overall area where we are reasonably good at, and we go along with our feeling, we just do what it takes.
And then if it turns out to be wrong, sometimes in our life, we make right decisions. And sometimes we make the decisions right. I took this decision, this does not work out really the way that I wanted, I make it right.
That's also possible. It's not that we always, always have to get the right suggestion only. This takes one step at a time, and you will find out if it's right, it's fine.
If it's not right, we do course correction. Does that answer your question? Anything else? You want to say something? Thank you. Yeah, any other questions? Okay, yeah.
Yeah, definitely. See, we are not completely objective people, so how do we apply this? I would say that it's not, application of all this is not like digital logic. It's either you do it or you don't do it.
To some extent, a negative reaction when bad things happen is natural. And that is just being human. But there are magnitude of the reaction.
Suppose there is a firefighter. Now normally, if a new person joins as a firefighter, when they see a fire, big fire break out, they just become so fearful that the hose drops from their hand, and they become panicky. On the other hand, if somebody is a seasoned firefighter, if on seeing a giant fire, even they will be fearful.
But all the training and the experience means that the healthier response will come faster. The fear will be there initially. But for a trained firefighter, the fear will be overcome.
Okay, let's attack this fire from here. Let's pour water over here. You go over there.
You do this. So it's not that even the best firefighter will never feel fear. But just that by experience, a novice firefighter may take a long time to compose oneself and act.
Whereas an experienced firefighter will be able to compose oneself faster. So similarly, now in that case, even a few moments speed in composing oneself can mean saving somebody's life or saving some property. So similarly for us, we don't have to expect that we can be completely unemotional and objective.
But whatever level of objectivity we can bring in, that can help us. Suppose we become angry with someone. Now they have done something to upset us.
Anger is natural. But as soon as we realise, I become angry. I can catch myself.
If we don't catch ourselves at that time also, then it's going to be much worse. Say if the floor is slippery and we walk and we slip. At one level, because the floor is slippery, slipping is natural.
But as soon as we notice we are slipping, we are falling, we look, can I catch hold of something? As soon as I catch hold of it, then the fall will be less intense and we can gain our footing back faster. The slipping is natural in a sense. So like that, feeling fear when we go through negativities, when we go through adversity, that's natural.
But this thought structure, fear acronym, that can act like a pillar for us. So when we are about to slip, instead of slipping fully, we can catch hold of it and come back to composure faster and have a healthier reaction more easily. And that can save us a significant amount of trouble.
Was that an easy question? Thank you. Yes, please. Yes.
Please. Okay. What was that experience? Well, I wouldn't say that you ask questions.
When was it that you became aware of that emotion as being separate from you? I think not the answer. Yeah, so I would say that… Not when, like the time frame, but the experience. The experience, yeah.
I would say, rather than calling it as one event when we attain a state like that, after which we stay there like that, our consciousness goes up and down. And there are moments in the experience like that. So I remember, last year, when I came to America, I was the immigration, I was just entering into America, and suddenly, as I was passing through the security, there was a loud alarm.
And before I could understand, I usually use a wheelchair for travelling, before I could understand what was happening, there were like five, six American security forces, their guns pointed at me. What happened? So the person told me that, we found that in your crutches, there's a high explosive alert. So then, I said, okay.
The in-person came over there and he said that, we're going to have to break your crutches. I said, let's see what is inside. I said, if you break my crutches, how will I walk? So probably he was in a foul mood or whatever.
He said, that's not my problem. So now, actually I had to catch a connecting flight to go to another place. So I was a little… Initially I was annoyed, but now I started getting alarmed.
And as I was about to respond, I could see this person was angry, and he was not going to listen to me. And it's almost as if at that time, I observed myself from above. And there is a… There's a verse in the Bhagavad Gita.
I like to recite the Bhagavad Gita's verses in my mind. There's a verse in the Bhagavad Gita which says that, our wanderings in life are guided by the Divine, who is always with us. So just that verse came in my mind.
I started thinking, I have travelled across so many countries, gone through so many flights. If things had to go wrong, hundreds of times things could have gone wrong. If through all those situations, I have been guided through, even through the situation I'll be guided.
It's just that thought calmed me down. And then, that security person came along and said that, we'll have to break your crutches. So at that time, he picked up the crutches, another person came along.
He said, what's going on here? He said that he had a high security alert. He said, look at me once again. He said, I'll deal with this.
He was his boss. And then he picked up the crutches. He explained to me that this is what had happened.
I said, have you got anything inside? He said, no, I haven't got anything. Then he told me that, and then I told him that, if you want to search anything, you can open the crutches. You don't have to break them.
He said, oh really, you can open them? I said, I'm opening it. And they opened it from the bottom. They put some kind of prong inside that, and some dark material came out of it.
He said, what is this? He asked me. He said, that's mud. He said, what is mud doing over here? He put his hand inside.
He took it out again. He put that object inside. He took it out again.
Some more mud came out. So what had happened was, before I had come to America, I had gone in India to a pilgrimage place. There's a sacred river called Yamuna in Vrindavan.
And somehow that river has got very polluted. So the polluted metallic content has accumulated and sedimented on its bank. So when I had gone there with my crutches, the rubber padding below the crutches had come off.
And the mud from there had gone inside. And that polluted mud had sounded that metallic alarm. So where he saw that, he just pulled out, there's more mud.
And finally he said, cleaning your crutches is not my business. You take the crutches. So at that time it struck me that at one moment I was fearful.
What is going to happen now? They break my crutches. They suspect me, arrest me, whatever. But the next moment when I observed myself from above, I thought, there's a force guiding my matrix.
Like one moment there was fear. The next moment there was calmness. So these kind of experiences give me the conviction that the spiritual is for real.
I won't say that I am there already, but I am on the path towards there. And when during some critical moments in our life we get some experiences which help us to deal with life's issues, then that helps us as I said, whatever life may get us to, our spirituality will get us through. So that's one experience which I have had.
Thank you. When I come in fall, I'll be coming to Seoul. When I come next March, April, I'm planning to come to Seoul next year.
So thank you very much. Happy to be of service. What did you like? One thing also I wanted to ask is the ideal mind.
So many times when the weekend comes people can't stay at home. When they are ideal, they can learn a lot.