If someone wants us to micro-control their lives, what should we do?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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if somebody wants us to micro control their lives they want us to be involved in their lives then should we do that or should we avoid micro controlling now what is micro control it is an assessment so it will vary from person to person different people have different psychologies understanding people is important for dealing with them properly so when somebody is doing a service and we ask them how is the service going now they feel valued, they feel cared for they feel concerned about me and you want to help me some other people you give them a service and tell them how is it going, do you trust me, I will get it done so why do you have to intervene again and again so people are not like machines that we can use one program for all people so that is why we have to see how different people respond to different things so sometimes when we appreciate someone some people when we appreciate them they just think we are flattering them so that we can get them to do more things sometimes when we speak with people we also have to hear how people respond to what we speak and you can learn a lot about people by how they respond so what their need is what their concern is what their sore spot is all that we learn by hearing people by watching their actions so basically it will vary from person to person in principle we should not micro control anyone but some people like more guidance some people like less guidance and we have to modulate the relationship accordingly of course over a period of time it is good to set people free and to train people to think for themselves because we may not always be available for them but how fast we set whom free that will vary from person to person so it is like say a mother has a baby and now every mother wants the baby to learn to walk by themselves but some babies may start walking at 6 months not 6 months maybe that is too early maybe at 1 year or something like that some babies may start walking freely only after maybe 15 months 17 months so now after the baby starts walking freely the mother should not keep holding the hand afterwards but the mother should not let go of the hand when the baby is not ready to walk so we will have to moderate according to each person’s level but the mother cannot be always holding the hand so we cannot always be guiding people on every decision but instead of just saying that you take this decision they may feel that we are washing hands of them they may feel abandoned by that then we can be little more sensitive we can say that what do you think you should do no no no I will do whatever you tell me no I want to know what do you think you should do you know I think if I do this, this will happen if I do this, this will happen therefore I want to do this then we can also understand how maturely they are thinking and yeah it makes sense you can go ahead instead of saying this is wrong did you think about this oh I didn’t think about this possibility so we basically get them thinking and if their thinking is deficient in some way we point it out so if Krishna had wanted to give Arjuna a decision fight the war, Krishna could have spoken that in just one word, he didn’t have to speak 700 verses the 700 verses were spoken so that Krishna could explain to Arjuna the rationale for the decision and not just the rationale for the decision not just the reasoning for the decision but also the world view underlying the reasoning so that Arjuna could take decisions on his own in future so the similar should be our broad attitude in dealing with others thank you