Overcoming discouragement 3 – Tap your power by opening a new TAB

[Talk at Brisbane, Australia]
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Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
first part of the session this is in a sense an elaboration on what I spoke earlier but just from a different framework Prabhupada said that when philosophy is presented from different perspectives we can understand it better so one point I talked about was try to be grateful instead of feeling dissatisfied or resentful so now ok but how do we move forward in our lives another way of looking at it would be say this is based on what do we do, that’s what I talked about so this is based on acronym called TAB so in every situation that we are in either we can blame the situation or blame people, blame ourselves or blame God blaming God, Bhaktisiddhan Sir Thakur said is like spitting at the sky laughing laughing what happens spit falls on our own head so what has happened has happened we can’t do anything about it but now we can blame or we can take responsibility what does take responsibility mean take responsibility means I am in this situation and what is the best that I can do in this situation taking responsibility make us better at least we become better and it can help us to make things better now how do we do this this one way to take responsibility is by treating ourselves as someone we are responsible for now what do I mean by this treat yourself as if that is someone you are responsible for many times when I had that TB I had to take almost like a one year treatment and the doctor told me after four months all the symptoms will subside but please don’t stop taking the medicines because the germs are still there and if the germs are not removed then the TB will come back and that is called RTB resistant TB, very difficult to cure so he was telling me that when India TB is still quite widespread so they have social workers who go to people’s houses I mean volunteers who go to people’s houses and make sure remind them have you taken this medicine so to simply to take medicine also requires responsibility and many people don’t take medicines it’s not just in an illiterate country India is not illiterate but say a third world country India is also becoming more progressive but it’s in the first world also people don’t take their medicines it’s so much so that sometimes people get people who have dialysis dialysis is a very painful process draining the whole body and it takes hours and hours and after a long time people get a kidney transplant now when the kidney transplant happens at that time the body because it’s a foreign body coming into the body the body doesn’t accept it so some medicines have to be given so that the body does not treat the new kidney like a predator and damage that so if those medicines are not taken then the kidney is damaged by the body itself now people have gone through painful dialysis for months and months with years and after years of wait they have got a kidney and after that all they need to do is take the medicine but almost 30 to 50% of people the kidney transplant fails because they don’t take the medicine why is it that people are so irresponsible but curiously researches have found that people are more responsible say in the western world I mentioned I was in LA for a morning walk and we went to a park normally in a park you will see some parents and children playing but this whole park was filled with dogs in the in America especially among the caucasian families the number of pet dogs is more than the number of children so why I am talking about this is that if people’s dog is sick and they take the dog to a vet people make sure that the dog takes the medicine but they don’t take their own medicine is it crazy we could say it is crazy but actually this is a very deep point the deep point is that actually when we feel responsible for someone that brings the best out of us so if they feel responsible for their pet that makes them responsible make sure that the medicine is taken so similarly if a couple has children both the parents become more responsible now there is a child here they have to take care of that child so taking up responsibility actually brings the best out of us it fosters a sense of commitment it brings so we could learn to take responsibility for ourselves that means treat yourself like someone you are responsible for so how do you do that suppose you had a friend say we are in a particular situation we got some disease relationship issue so we are going through some issues suppose you had a friend who was going through those issues and that friend sees you as a guide so you feel responsible for that friend so what would you do what would you make sure that the friend doesn’t do so treat yourself like you are someone you are responsible for so take responsibility now what can we take responsibility for our situations in many ways are not in our control but we can take responsibility for some things three things no matter how bad our situation is three things are always in our control and we can take responsibility for these three things they are this our thoughts our attitude and our behaviour so this is acronym TAB so no matter how bad the situation is in our life we can open a new tab we our situations don’t determine what we think about our situations don’t determine our attitude and our situations don’t determine our behaviour I will explain this but actually the whole process of Krishna Consciousness is essentially about tapping these three things so what does it mean by taking taking responsibility for our thoughts let’s look at this we may say if I have a problem I have to think about the problem what can I do about it you say that my thoughts are free but no my situation is so bad I have to think I am going to lose my job I have to think about my job yes we have to think about it no doubt but there is a difference if we look at our thinking process how it works say on the y axis is the clarity for solving problems and the x axis is the time we spend on thinking about the problem so it is not a straight line going up when we have a problem and we don’t think about the problem itself that is a big problem we have to think about the problem how do I deal with it and as we think about the problem we start getting more and more clarity so the graph moves up but after a particular point even if we think more about the problem no clarity comes saturated now think about it and not only does the graph attain a plateau but after that it starts dropping and the more we think about the issue the more worried we feel the more drained we feel overthinking is a big problem not thinking is a big problem but overthinking is also a big problem what happens sometimes some people say initially I was confused now I am not so sure laughing laughing laughing I am not even sure whether I am confused laughing so we can just get lost in our head so what happens is we do need to think about our problems but we constantly thinking about our problems itself becomes a problem so we all need a satisfying safe object of thought a satisfying safe object of thought we all need that very much just like we need a home for our body we need a home for our thoughts, a home for our consciousness and one thing we could say is that entertainment earlier we talked about how people are spending lakhs and lakhs of rupees for one game why is that? because entertainment promises some satisfying object of thought oh my life is this problem, that problem, that problem just let’s watch a movie let’s watch some sports let’s watch this so now people are spending phenomenal amounts of money on entertainment but entertainment although it offers a satisfying object of thought it is like a painkiller when there is pain the painkiller covers the pain it doesn’t cure it and that is why if a person is taking only painkillers then the dosage of the painkiller needs to be increased more and more and more and that’s how you will see entertainment the dosage is increasing constantly say if you consider sports say if you consider most of you are Indians, others also know more or less say about India, in the past there was cricket but there was test cricket so five days long matches then as people’s boredom, dissatisfaction, irritation the dosage of the painkiller is not enough so let’s increase the passion what happened? one day cricket one day cricket came and then after sometime that was not enough they increased the dosage further then what happened? 20-20 cricket came out actually broadly speaking, Indians had two painkillers one is cricket and the other is Bollywood so about 10-12 years ago, both of them got married and they begot a child who is that? IPL so there are Bollywood stars and there are cricket stars, all coming together so now actually in this IPL, it’s just like 50-60 days matches the amount of money that is spent is more than what is required to feed all the hungry people of India throughout the year so now, I am not criticising entertainment here, the point I am making is different that why are people spending so much money? we could say they are crazy but that’s not a very reasonable explanation it’s just a label you are putting, people are crazy but what it is is that people feel the need for entertainment so desperately, that they are ready to spend extreme amounts and that indicates how desperately they need a satisfying object or thought what does entertainment offer basically? something satisfying to think about but it is not bad but it’s a painkiller if somebody is very much in pain, a painkiller will be required but a painkiller should not replace the curative medicine so we could say entertainment is like a painkiller enlightenment is like the curative medicine enlightenment means what? enlightenment means understanding that the supremely safe and satisfying object for our thoughts is Krishna he is the one unchanging reality if our consciousness becomes absorbed in him that is when we will have real security, real satisfaction so we are talking about taking responsibility for our thoughts if we learn to direct our thoughts towards Krishna that directing our thoughts towards Krishna itself will give us relief, that itself will give us strength and just as people when people watch entertainment they are not expecting any solution to their problems but I just want to forget my problems right now so yes, that is a need but today it has become an obsessive need in fact for many people I saw like a joke cartoon it said today my wifi went down so I spent some time with my family they seem like nice people so that’s how it is unfortunately distorted so the enlightenment, Krishna consciousness might seem very, in fact I always think about Krishna what is this, I have so many things to do in my life how can I think about Krishna thinking about Krishna actually gives us relief internally it’s like say if it’s very cold outside and we come to a heated room so similarly when you think about so many things in the world this problem, that problem, that problem but we just direct our thoughts towards Krishna just think about Krishna pray to him chant his holy names he starts being calm he starts being calm so even if no problem is solved just that relief is also sufficient it will also give us some strength unfortunately what we do is we come to the door of the room which is heated, we are trembling in the cold we come to the door of the room which is heated, we open the door and we wait when will the atmosphere get warm we don’t come into the room what do I mean by that is we come to Krishna but we don’t become conscious of Krishna we still stay conscious of our problems Krishna when are you going to solve this when are you going to solve this and then if you are not conscious of Krishna we don’t get that relief so thinking about Krishna means don’t tell God how big your problems are tell your problems how big God is tell your problems how big God is yes I have enough problems but God has taken me through much with problems in the past he will help me to go through this so when our problems are there sometimes we think first I have to solve this problem then I will chant Hare Krishna then I will practise yes if there are urgent problems we don’t need to deal with them but we don’t necessarily have to delay thinking about Krishna if you say after I solve my problem then I will become devoted to Krishna that’s like thinking that I want to swim in the ocean but I will enter the ocean after the waves stop the waves will never stop so actually speaking our mental energy we don’t spend all our mental energy on addressing problems when we think about the problems constantly we just waste a lot of our mental energy so if we learn to think about take responsibility for our thoughts think as much as is required to get some constructive answers to problems that we are facing but afterwards tearing the thought towards Krishna and by that even if the problem is not solved at least we will not be tired internally because thinking of Krishna is satisfying, thinking of Krishna is energising so that is taking responsibility for our thoughts when we do that we will find that at least internally we will be having a source of energy a source of rejuvenation see there is release from problems and there is relief amidst problems so even if there is no release from our problems the problem has not gone away but if there is a relief amidst the problem at least this constant trouble is not there so much now and that itself is a first step forward second is attitude so broadly speaking these three points how they are related is first what I think about then how I look at my situation and the third is how I behave in that situation so actually with attitude I will talk a lot about it in A’s how to be grateful and not resentful so I will summarise that in only one sentence here life determines our problems, we determine their size so we can’t control the problem that we face but we determine the size of those problems the more we think about a problem the bigger the problem grows they become bigger and bigger and bigger we start to overwhelm by the problem so attitude means this is the problem I am there but with Krishna’s grace I delete it and we use that A’s what I talked about earlier to face that problem in perspective we may have to live with pain but we don’t have to live in pain this problem is there but let me look for the good around it let me look for the good that has been combated or let me look for the good that may emerge from it so either we can see the problem as a burden or we can see it as a difficult phase in a higher plan for our evolution just like for the bird to crack the shell and come out it’s difficult, it’s painful but it is essential for the bird’s evolution so similarly when we are going through difficulties it’s a phase and it’s essential for our evolution so if we face it we will grow back so if we have this attitude, whenever we have problems we broadly speaking have only two attitudes two options basically, we can be resentful this is a terrible problem, why has it come in my life or we can either be resentful and drag ourselves through the problematic phase of our life or we can voluntarily accept that problem as a challenge this problem is there let me see how can I remedy it it’s not pleasant obviously but the second approach is universally better than the first approach being resentful only makes things worse sometimes infinitely worse but trying to be purposeful, how can this maybe this is for my growth, I don’t know what can I do in this situation having that attitude, voluntarily choosing to face the problem that will stimulate our growth then this is the last part of behaviour so we are talking about which acronym now? DAD so we can take responsibility for our thoughts, we can take responsibility for our behaviour our attitudes and our behaviour now behaviour means, somebody might say that I am still in a terrible situation I can’t do anything about it, say if somebody has got a fracture and they are on bed say I am bed ridden, what can I do about it what do you mean by behaviour, I can’t behave properly what can I do, I have no control over this situation so have any of you faced a situation in your life when you felt you were powerless, you just couldn’t do anything about the situation has anyone faced like that? yes well, for those who didn’t raise your hands I don’t want to be a messenger of bad news but everybody will face situations like that when we feel powerless that’s just the way life is life is tough I have travelled across the world met many successful people but you just scrape a little below their surface and everybody is working through their own tragedies somebody had their child who passed away because of cancer, somebody has got a parent who is struggling from Alzheimer’s somebody has got going through a painful separation life is tough for everyone so the point I am making over here is not that life is tough so we just have to suffer, the point I am making is that whenever we feel that we are in a terrible situation and we can’t do anything about it that feeling that I am utterly powerless that is actually a very damaging feeling and one way to challenge that feeling is to ask a counter intuitive question that this is a terrible situation I feel powerless but can I make things worse hmm who wants to make things worse I have already told you they are terrible nobody wants to but can we make things worse hmm no matter how bad things are we can always make them worse hmm we are never too old to learn what yeah we are never too old to learn some new way of doing stupid things of making things worse suppose going back to the same example I got a fracture in my leg and I am bed ridden now I am bed ridden but I can take a hammer and crack my other knee also hmm now obviously I shouldn’t but the point is that if we can make things worse that means we are not as powerless as you think if we can make things worse that means we can make them better also that is the point no matter how bad things are we can make them worse and we can make them better so we no matter whatever the situation is it’s a terrible situation but we can make it better so how can we make it better that is by looking at small things in our life so this is, first is this continuation of the attitude we can be fretful or we can be faithful why did this happen, why did this happen you know Krishna has some plan we can be resentful or we can be resourceful why is this happening in my life but what can I do in this situation can be resentful or can be resourceful or we can be fearful or we are cheerful now this might just seem like just play of words but there is more to that it’s not just play of words let me explain any situation that we are in actually when we go through difficult situations our mind tends to eternalise the present eternalise the present means the mind says that this is a bad situation and this is how it is going to be for the rest of your life today’s problems can be dealt with today but what the mind does is on top of today’s problems it adds yesterday’s problems and adds tomorrow’s problems then it becomes unbearable so we need to know that in the world everything is temporary if everything is temporary then bad times are also temporary so if we are going through a bad phase bad times the dark times are like a tunnel not a dungeon a dungeon is where we are trapped a tunnel is what we need to walk through so yes, we all have difficulties and they are not easy to go through but when the mind we are building on the point of behaviour if we understand that this is a tunnel not a dungeon then what will we do? we start walking and keep walking, isn’t it? because this will end this will end so behaviour means that and what we do is when we are going through difficult times unmanageably difficult times can be broken into manageable units of time what do I mean by manageable units of time? say it’s like if I am hungry and somebody gives me a full watermelon how do I do? I have to cut it then I can eat it so similarly when we are going through a very difficult phase that is not the time to think long term say somebody in the family has got some terrible disease and then you start thinking what will happen to me after 5 years, 10 years that is not the time to think about that at that time decrease your working frame for the next one day can I just be the best that I can be? for the next one day can I not act in a way that makes things worse? if one day also feels too big, for the next one hour can I act in the best possible way? right now if you think about your own life you can probably think of 2-3 things which you know you can do them better than what they are doing so 3 good things which if you did your life could become better and you can also think of 2-3 bad things which if you stop doing again your life could become better so just divide your frame of reference into short units and ok let me take one step forward one step forward so when we have that attitude for the next one hour, for the next one day let me deal with the situation and when you are able to deal with it for one day or one hour then just appreciate yourself, good job, thank Krishna thank you I was able to deliver this and then move forward so when life becomes discouraging we have to encourage ourselves and one way of encouraging ourselves is by setting our goal so low that success becomes possible now you may say how can I set the goal low no, we don’t have to set the goal low in a permanent sense but at that time let me just work for one hour right now let me do things nicely for one hour if I do it, say appreciate it and what happens, we can either look at it oh I have to slog through this for the next 6 months or I can say let me do this for one hour good job, it’s tough but you did a good job so when we have this attitude we will build ourselves up and by this another way of putting this is S S S small simple steps when we are going through difficulty or very difficult times just think of small simple steps that you can take to make things better and just start taking that step and this can work even in any good habit that you want to cultivate I have written about 20-25 books but last few years I have started travelling quite a bit so writing has become very difficult for me now so I used to think that maybe sometime I will stop travelling and then I will write but that was never, that was not working at all so then one day I just thought that everyday I will write 6 minutes at least of course I am writing on the gita everyday gita daily that’s different from other books I wanted to write now why 6 minutes I just thought 6 minutes, 6 minutes is not that bigger time that I will have to think what to write and 6 minutes is not so small that I can’t write anything meaningful so if I write down for 6 minutes I find that I can write anywhere between 50 words to about 250 words depending on how nicely the thoughts are flowing but I found that just I started doing this and by doing this some days I write for 6 minutes and the thoughts flow and I write for 6-4 minutes and 6-4 minutes and one day just I had no plan like that when I started 6 minutes I ended up writing for 6 hours and a very good chapter of my book new book on Ramayana came out so basically I found that these small simple steps it works quite effectively so whatever it is in our life just plan it out, small simple steps, no need sometimes we think I will make a very big goal and I will achieve it and that’s where our ego is speaking I want to do something which the whole world will notice but even if the whole world notices that is not necessarily going to help us grow that is not necessarily going to solve the issues that we are facing in our lives but small simple steps one small simple step we could take is that let me be polite with others or let me just appreciate one person everyday it’s very ironical how we function that we can say that all of us have a finite politeness quota that means that you know we can be polite with people of course particular point but afterwards they start getting to our nerves it’s like according to scientists there are almost 10 billion nerves in our body and some people seem to have done a PhD about how to irritate all those 10 billion nerves so now we have a finite if we say we have a finite politeness capacity so what happens sometimes we go out in the streets and with perfect strangers good morning good morning, you are polite and we come back home and we are sullen and irritable with our loved ones the people who matter the most to us we treat them most disrespectfully and people who don’t matter at all we are so courteous with them so why let me be courteous let me appreciate one person let me daily appreciate one person so if you want to develop a good relationship with someone or improve your relationship just appreciate that person one thing everyday if not one person you think that if I appreciate this person everyday they will become inflated I will appreciate one person everyday not the same person that’s also ok that’s also ok but just start with something small and when we do this we take steps forward we take steps forward and we find that one step, one step, one step can cover a significant distance and this is where for taking these small steps a devotional service this attitude can be very helpful this is the concluding part of this point this is our last point also sometimes we have a plan for our life and that’s like we are going on the streets and the streets are all lit there are lights on both sides and we are moving forward but sometimes discouraging devastating situations come in our life that’s like the lights have gone off at that time if all the lights go off our first reaction might be to groan to yell to curse but afterwards we immediately try to go to our phone and turn on our flashlight and the phone’s flashlight does not replace the street light but the phone’s flashlight is enough for us to see one step forward we take one step forward and then the flashlight goes to another step so our plan for our life is like the street lights we all have expectations in our life, we all have dreams we all have big big hopes and it’s natural, it’s human to have them but sometimes those expectations get frustrated and when that happens we need psychological flexibility what do I mean by psychological flexibility I’ll explain the illustration over here, say we are here the reality is here and our expectations are here so our expectations help us to shape reality, say for example we have bought some land and I want to build a house like this over here, so we have some dreams, some expectations and that expectation helps us to shape the reality but sometimes things change in such a way that it becomes like this the expectations are here and the reality is here so for example suppose somebody had decided I want to learn rowing and I want to show to all my friends how expertly I row, so they go for some rowing classes, rowing practise and then they call their friends and they have a dream my friends will click photos and put on social media and everybody appreciates how gracefully, smoothly, swiftly you row and they get into their boat they start rowing and suddenly from nowhere a monster wave comes and now there is no boat below them and there are no oars in their hands and if they keep rowing just imagine they are rowing what will happen? They will drown so at that time the reality has changed so much that now they just have to swim and get to the land so their expectation was nice, it inspired them to practise to commit themselves to all that to discipline, that’s good but if the reality has changed so much see we have to understand when my expectation is helping me to shape reality and when the expectation is coming in the way of my dealing with reality so if the reality has become so different from my expectations then attachment to the expectations will interfere with my capacity to deal with reality so psychological rigidity means I just stay fixated on my expectations why is it not like this, why is it not like this but psychological rigidity flexibility means my expectations are now coming in the way of dealing with reality, let me shift let me shift and deal with the reality so when we do this, how do we do this? this psychological flexibility becomes easier to have when we understand that beyond our plan is Krishna’s plan that Krishna’s plan can work through our plan and Krishna’s plan can work in spite of our plan that means even if our plan is disrupted still Krishna’s plan can keep working, that is Krishna’s greatness, so what we need to do is just stay on with Krishna’s plan, ask Krishna how can I serve you Krishna I had this plan for serving you but this plan has gone for a toss now so how can I serve you how can I serve you even if that plan has gone for a toss because of our mistakes actually Krishna’s plan is so big that it can accommodate our mistakes also that even our it’s actually ego to think that my mistake is so big that now Krishna’s plan is over Krishna’s plan accommodates our mistakes also, just like say if we are driving to a particular destination say you are coming for the seminar and say GPS told you turn left and somehow you turn right then what does GPS do does GPS say you didn’t obey me, get lost GPS doesn’t say GPS reroutes and gets us back so similarly for us Krishna is like the ultimate GPS and no matter what has gone wrong in your life Krishna’s plan is big enough to work through our plan and in spite of our plan so working with our plan is like when the street lights are on we move forward, but when the street lights go off, working in spite of his plan is like turning on the flashlight, sorry working in spite of our plan is like turning on the flashlight what is the flashlight, turning on the flashlight mean, asking ourselves Krishna, how can I serve you the situation is coming in my life, how can I serve you in this situation, if you have that attitude, Krishna I am your servant and I want to serve you whether it be through my job, through my career through my family, everything ultimately is meant for serving then if you have that attitude, how can I serve you, you will find that the light will turn on, you will see one step forward one step forward, one step forward when Prabhupada went to America he had no idea about how he was going to do he had a vision, there will be temples all over the world, but beyond that, he knew what to do exactly, he was exploring many things sometimes when you want to do a big programme, we do publicity we do promotion, Prabhupada had no money to do publicity so Prabhupada adopted the oldest method of doing publicity that was he would himself go for long walks and in America at that time somebody wearing saffron robes he quite stood out of course, New Yorkers are expert at not taking notice of people who stand out because everybody tries to stand out they don’t take notice of anyone but still Prabhupada was quite unusual over there also and Prabhupada used to wherever he would get an opportunity, he would go he himself went to a book store and he placed his books over there and then after a few days when that particular book shop person was not there, Prabhupada went again and bought those same books and wrote a very good review of that book laughter so that the books will get promoted Prabhupada did what he could then Prabhupada was walking on the road once and then he saw there was a young man with a big beard walking on the other side and that man was looking at him so that was one, he was a Howard Wheeler, he later became a high-grade brahmin so he had gone to India in search of a guru but he had not found anyone so he was going there on the way to take some LSD so he was going actually people at that time thought LSD was a very spiritual drug in fact LSD is actually an acronym for a short form of chemical but they had renamed LSD LSD is League of Spiritual Discovery laughter anybody who takes LSD joins that league that was their idea so anyway he was going to take LSD and he looked around and he saw Swami he said, am I already high on drugs? how am I seeing a Swami on New York streets? then a truck went in between and then he thought, if this is a trance then Swami will not be there after the truck went by, he saw Swami was still there he rubbed his eyes and said look again, Swami is still there and then another truck went by and then he saw now that Swami had stopped and was looking at him so he was surprised and then again the truck went by and he saw Swami was smiling at him then he started crossing the road and he came by and he was wondering, after I go through the trucks maybe Swamiji will disappear it’s just my trance Swami was just waiting for this he asked Swami, are you from India? He said yes, and you? He said no, I am not from India but I have been to India and Prabhupada told him about his talks and he was the first serious follower that Prabhupada got and he had a whole group of other people who were quite serious and his movement spread so what did Prabhupada do? He just did what he could, small simple steps he had no facility just go out, literally small simple steps, go out for walks and he met people over there Prabhupada said that just make me dance O Lord, make me dance like a puppet so if we have that more Krishna, you are my Lord and I am your servant, please guide me how I can serve you if we have that attitude then we may go through many difficulties in our life, but Krishna will take us through whatever karma may get us to, Krishna will get us through whatever karma may get us to, Krishna will get us through so I will summarise what I spoke today I spoke on this theme of opening a new tab in our life in the previous session I talked about cultivating your attitude and how do we go about further, what do I do practically so tab was, what was T? thoughts so when we have problems we need to think about the problems because thinking about the problems constantly itself becomes a problem, we talked about the graph how overthinking becomes problematic and because people have so many problems that’s why they want entertainment but entertainment is like a painkiller, a very expensive painkiller at that so painkillers are good in their place but they can’t replace the curative medicine and the curative medicine is enlightenment, enlightenment means understanding what is the really safe, satisfying object of thought and that is Krishna so when we practise Krishna consciousness, essentially what we are doing is giving a home for our thoughts so even if thinking about Krishna doesn’t solve our problems even if it doesn’t give release from problems it can give relief from problems, even if the outside temperature doesn’t become warm but at least if we come in a warm room we get relief for that much time and then we can be rejuvenated so amidst problems don’t tell God how big the problems are, tell your problems how big God is and then I talked about A was attitude in attitude we talked about how life determines our problems but we determine their size so by seeing beyond the problem to the bigger situation we can keep the problem in perspective that is largely related with the A’s which I discussed previously B was behaviour, that’s where I spend a good amount of time that when we feel powerless we can think that no matter how bad things are we can make them worse and if we can make them worse then we can make them better also so for making them better we talked about how unmanageably difficult times can be broken down into manageable units of time, so instead of thinking of 10 years, 5 years, 1 year just think of 1 day or 1 hour when life is discouraging we need to encourage ourselves and the way to do it is by setting small goals that are achievable and in that I talked about S.S.S what is that? small simple steps so I talked about how just writing for 6 minutes or just appreciating someone everyday or just whatever behave I talked in the beginning about this how take responsibility, treat yourself as if you are someone you are responsible for talked about how people take care of their pets health better than take care of their own health because responsibility brings out our best so if we take our responsibility for our thoughts, attitudes and behaviour then through small simple steps we move forward and whatever dark phases we are going through they are not a dungeon they are a tunnel if we keep walking through we will eventually emerge out of the tunnel and for moving onwards in the steps if the street lights go off we need the flashlight the flashlight is our service attitude explained how that is that we have a plan for our life but Krishna has a bigger plan which includes the fulfilment of our plan as well as the frustration of our plan so Krishna is like the ultimate GPS even if we take a wrong turn he can still reroute and get us back so we can stay a part of Krishna’s plan by asking Krishna how can I serve you in this situation and if we keep the service attitude and keep taking small steps forward especially Prabhupada did when he found people when he found interested people just by walking around and promoting that way eventually he got dedicated people and things spread so whatever karma may get us to Krishna will get us through thank you very much Hare Krishna we have a few minutes does anyone have any questions I was wondering if you serve as also taking action in the mode of ignorance is thinking about problems and dwelling on them acting in the mode of ignorance yes definitely in the mode of ignorance 1835 Krishna says that daydreaming, fearfulness lamentation, grossness all these are characteristics of the mode of ignorance so when we have a problem it’s best that we first try to raise our consciousness before we deal with the problem because if you are in the mode of ignorance all that happens is that we are flailing around not knowing what to do somebody is injured and they are in pain many times if somebody got a fracture we give them a cast why? because otherwise they will move their hand and make things worse so like that when we are having a problem often if we are in ignorance whatever moment we do will make things worse so it’s good if we can maybe chant, read something pray and raise our consciousness then we will be able to solve the problem otherwise whatever we do we will only make things worse thank you I think we talked well on the point of appreciating a person everyday but I personally feel there is a difference between appreciating being nice, being nice is eternal there is no other option but the moment I attach this appreciative person so in my consciousness I expect I to be appreciative, that leads me to in the darkness because oh I am going to be appreciative today that leads me off the balance but what I think the best thing is that when I think Krishna consciousness you have to be nice every time all the time, you have to do your best all the time irrespective of whether you are appreciative or not that’s a good question so we should be nice but if we start appreciating then what happens is that we start expecting appreciation and then we start feeling dissatisfied if we are not appreciative yeah that’s true at the same time that can also happen with respect to being nice if we are nice to others but others are not nice to us, that could also be a problem so I would say two different things being nice is being courteous being polite and sometimes that is just ingrained in us as a culture and we naturally do that and it’s good to do that but everybody is facing challenges in life and if we don’t know a small appreciation, how far it may go in encouraging someone because what happens is everybody is struggling with their own issues and people often come to a point where they think whether all the struggle is worthwhile or not so appreciation is just a simple human way of telling people that they count that their existence matters that they their individuality has value so appreciation can be very powerful and as far as expecting appreciation back from others it’s but natural that we will have expectations but I think the challenge is where we become attached to the expectation so if we see that if overall we have a positive disposition, if we are grateful and then even if somebody doesn’t appreciate it it’s okay, so we can see appreciation simply as a service there’s a difference between appreciation and flattery flattery means actually we praise someone for something that we don’t believe they have to get from some get from them something we believe they have that means I want to get you to do something so I’ll flatter you that flattery is very different whereas appreciation is where we actually see something good in them, even if it’s a small thing and just appreciate them for that one way to think about this is that actually at the memorial of one devotee and the whole community was there, quite a well known devotee quite a long time member of a devotee but not a very prominent long time member of the devotee community, not a prominent devotee so many devotees spoke very sincere appreciations of that devotee and then the spiritual master of that community at the end he spoke all of you spoke such heartwarming words of appreciation of this devotee how many of you had appreciated this devotee when he was alive if you had spoken these when he was alive how much encouragement he would have got so I think appreciation is a small it is an integral and a specific part of kindness of what you say being nice you can just take that one step forward and appreciate and if you make it a habit we can actually become radiators of warmth and ultimately you could say the universe is reciprocal, if we appreciate someone, that person may not appreciate us but somebody else will appreciate us I have that experience, sometimes I prepare for a whole class very exhaustively and at the end of the class nobody appreciates it but sometimes some other days I am just tired or I am too busy I don’t get much time to prepare for the class and I give the class and after that somebody just appreciates such a life changing class for me really, I said my life has not changed till now, what happened I feel I didn’t do anything so in sometimes the see basically there is a correspondence in the universe between what we give and what we get but it is not a one to one correspondence so I may give here and I may get there but what happens when I give here I keep expecting here and even if somebody else is giving somewhere I don’t even look at that person so if you understand that actually when I am appreciating this person I am not just appreciating this person, I am appreciating Krishna, Krishna is manifesting in this person, Krishna is guiding this person, Krishna is empowering this person and whatever good they are doing, this Krishna will do to them, so if we see that connection with Krishna also then what we are appreciating is a small manifestation of Krishna in this world, this person has good singing ability, all ability comes from Krishna, he sang very nice Kirtans, so then we are appreciating that person but we are also appreciating Krishna and that Krishna whom we appreciate Krishna will send appreciation through someone to us so thank you very much Shloka Shloka Shloka Shloka