Is spirituality meant to make us feel bad about ourselves in the name of humility?

Answer Podcast

Question:
Is spirituality meant to make us feel bad about ourselves under the guise of humility? Or is it intended to make us feel good?

Answer:
This is a profound question with two key dimensions:

🌟 1. Spirituality Affirming Our True Identity

First and foremost, spirituality teaches us that we are divine and indestructible. Understanding that we are eternal souls, eternal parts of God, brings:

Strength
Calmness
Clarity

It reassures us that we are protected by Krishna, under His shelter, and integrated into His grand design.

🧠 2. Spirituality Humbling Our Self-Projection

At the same time, our tradition has historically emphasized humility—sometimes quite heavily. This originated, in part, as a response to impersonalist philosophies like Advaita Vedānta, which equate the individual soul with Brahman (Aham Brahmāsmi).

Our devotional philosophy (e.g., as taught by Jīva Gosvāmī) counters this by affirming that:

The impersonalists teach unity—we are the all-pervading Brahman.
Bhakti pedagogy teaches difference—we are servants of the Supreme, distinct yet part of Him.

To emphasize this beautiful servant–master relationship, the tradition has sometimes downplayed our divine potential in order to highlight our humility.

🧳 Historical Context of Emphasizing Humility

In śāstric tradition, devotees often say, “I am the most sinful,” as a mark of humility.
Yet, in the Mahābhārata and Rāmāyaṇa, heroes like Arjuna and Hanumān were confident, fearless, and capable.
Similarly, in the Bhāgavatam, Parīkṣit Mahārāj transcends fear and fully accepts Krishna’s will—even when cursed to die. He both accepts mortality and takes action against Kali.

This demonstrates a dual emphasis in our spirituality:

Transcendence (inner surrender and acceptance)
Transformation (active service and purposeful action)

📘 Scripture vs. Practice

The Bhāgavatam emphasizes transcendence, often in face of worldly suffering.
The Bhagavad-gītā blends both—Krishna asks Arjuna to transform the world through war, not to renounce.

Śrīla Prabhupāda and Ṣaṅkarāṣṭakam stress transcendence and humility, but in doing so, have sometimes underemphasized the empowerment and agency we have in the world.

⚖️ Balanced Humility — A Test

There is a stark difference between:

Healthy humility: surrendering ego, accepting divine will, yet actively fulfilled in service.
Toxic humility: constant self-deprecation, loss of agency, spiritual stagnation.

An authentic sign of humility is consistent kindness—to superiors and to subordinates. If someone wears humility before authorities but is rigid or dominating with others, that’s a red flag.

💌 Does Spirituality Make Us Feel Good or Just Guilty?

No, it should not. We can and should experience:

Affirmation – That we are valued, protected, and divine.
Purification – That we improve our lives by identifying and correcting faults.

Like Joel Osteen in the Christian world emphasizes hope but seldom discipline, many spiritual teachers today overemphasize affirmation. While our tradition often overemphasizes purification to the point it can feel guilt-inducing.

🔄 Rejection – Complementation – Improvement

Rejection: Material life is temporary and materialism must be rejected.
Complementation: Material life and spiritual life complement each other.
Improvement: Spiritual life enhances material life—bringing fulfillment, purpose, and ethical growth.

Modern “self-help” spirituality often focuses only on improvement, offering psychological relief without moral or spiritual depth. Our tradition historically focused on rejection, but increasingly, we are embracing complementation—the balanced bridge between spirit and matter.

🧩 The Whole Picture

A holistic spirituality involves:

Affirmation: You are divine and God’s precious child.
Humility & Surrender: You are His servant—learn to relinquish ego.
Empowerment: You are His agent in the world—live with purpose.
Purification: You are also imperfect—strive for moral and spiritual growth.

“To love us too much to let us stay as we are” perfectly captures this divine balance—unconditional grace, paired with transformative challenge.

In summary:
Spirituality is not meant to make you feel bad—it aims to help you realize your true value and true potential. It affirms your divine identity, calls for sincere surrender, and inspires moral action. When humility becomes self-deprecation, it misses the mark.