How can we develop relationships with those whose services are different from ours?

Answer Podcast

Hare Krishna.
How do we build a connection with those whose services are different from ours—or with those engaged in services for which we don’t have the ability or aptitude?

Well, I’d suggest two or three points in this regard.

First, there are some people we have to associate with—maybe because we live with them, work closely with them, or serve alongside them regularly, for whatever reason. In such cases, it’s helpful to develop at least a basic interest in what they’re doing.

At one level, we can’t completely choose our interests—our interests often choose us. For example, someone may naturally feel attracted to music, but not to cooking. It’s unlikely that they’ll feel the same spontaneous enthusiasm for cooking as they do for music. Still, while we may not be able to choose our interests, we can choose to be interested.

That means we cultivate intentional curiosity—not because something fascinates us naturally, but because we choose to become curious for the sake of connection. This could be as simple as asking,

• “What exactly do you do in this service?”
• “How do you go about it?”
• “What are the challenges you face?”

Most people appreciate being asked about their service or their experience—especially if we ask with sincerity. While they might not immediately open up, over time, such genuine curiosity can help build rapport. Even if the relationship doesn’t become deep, it can at least become neutral to positive, rather than distant or tense.

Now, that said, we all have limited time and energy, so we must prioritize how we use it for our spiritual growth. That’s why, instead of trying to deeply connect with everyone—especially those whose interests or services are very different from ours—we can focus more on those relationships that are spiritually nourishing for us. That helps us grow in our bhakti.

Even within Krishna consciousness, there are not just one but many oceans of engagement. For example:

• If you choose to explore deity worship, there’s an entire ocean of learning and experience there.
• If you go deep into Srimad-Bhagavatam, even one canto offers a lifetime’s worth of insights.

So, we can either go deep into what already inspires or energizes us, or into what we need to do as part of our service, and relate with others accordingly.

In summary, a powerful way to connect with devotees whose services or aptitudes differ from ours is by cultivating curiosity. We don’t have to imitate their interests, but we can appreciate their contributions, and in doing so, strengthen the spirit of cooperation and mutual respect in our devotional communities.