Why do senior devotees sometimes judgmentally dismiss other devotees because of just one mistake

After years of practicing Bhakti, why do many devotees still remain hard-hearted and see somebody who has some small lapse in their bhakti as unsurrendered and non-devoted? Shouldn’t bhakti soften the heart? Even Krishna consciousness. And within those conceptions, certain things are right and certain things are not right. We think of certain things as right and certain things are not right. So what happens within those conceptions is that that becomes our security.

And, quite often, some devotees get more security by operating within a black-and-white perspective of spirituality. And if that’s what they need, that’s what they get, then there is space within them for that. We can say that there are conservatives and there are liberals, and conservatives are more concerned about orderliness. Liberals are more concerned about openness. And both are required.

So, one of the reasons why I say the immigration debate in America is so severe is that the conservatives want orderliness. If you have so many immigrants coming in, how will society go on properly? And the liberals want openness. There are people suffering out there. Don’t you want to help them?

How can you be so heartless? So who is right? Well, there is right on both sides. So now it is not just that orderliness and openness are both virtues and both are valuable, but for some people, they become the, you could say, the defining virtues that actually secure their identity and their spiritual path, their spirituality also. Things have to be done this way, and things can’t be done that way.

So Maharaj is quite broad. I remember there was a discussion, or you could say a debate—not a debate—it was about whether cakes, when devotees’ birthdays are celebrated, would there be cakes or not? As I said, traditionally, we didn’t have cakes. So in that sense, it’s not traditional.

But ultimately, the essence of being traditional is to express appreciation and reciprocate affection. So if that is done through a particular medium, whether that medium is traditional or not traditional, the important point is the reciprocation—the expressing appreciation, reciprocating affection. So both are fine. So, now that is a relatively simple and sweet issue.

But when you apply it to more complicated issues, what are the ways in which bhakti is practiced? I recently came across a very young and intelligent devotee from a particular place in India, and this devotee is caught between two groups. Both groups are devotees, and both are quite serious. And both are near their house. One devotee group, although most of them are, they encourage people to have Mangalarti in their homes at 4:30 AM. And the other group, most of them, either collectively or individually, have a Mangalarti at 5:00 AM. And the first group told the other group that Prabhupad said Mangalarti is at 4:30 AM. If you do it at 5:00 AM, there will be no benefit from Mangalarti at 5:00 AM. And, Krishna is not able to accept your offering.

So if you go and make any offering there, Krishna is not able to accept that offering. Now this devotee is asking me, “Is it like that?” I said, “No.” But if for some devotee, their source of strength and Krishna gives strength through different things to different people. So if their source of strength is primarily their sadhana, and come whatever, they wake up in the morning and they do their sadhana, and that’s what gives them strength.

Then somebody who doesn’t do that, for them, they feel, “Now what is this person doing? What are they doing at all with their life? What is the value?” So in that sense, what happens is that for them, that becomes the central thing. On the other hand, for somebody else, the strength might come from something else.

It might come, say, by doing outreach programs, and the outreach programs may be late at night. And it’s not that they neglect their sadhana, but they understand that both cannot go together. So, I know equally serious devotees whose sleep times may not be that fixed and waking time might not be that fixed. But if somebody is getting security from a particular conception of Bhakti, then naturally they will consider any other conception of Bhakti to be off track. So therefore, this is even for both of the examples I gave were just within the domain of Bhakti itself, how Bhakti is to be practiced.

But then what to speak of when it comes to moral issues? Some devotees may consider that a particular moral lapse is unforgivable. And therefore, that person has no hope because they did a particular thing in a particular way, which is utterly unacceptable. So maybe for them, conformity to those moral standards is the basis of their security in their lives. And that is the basis of their security.

We can respect that; okay, that’s how they are functioning. And that’s fine to the level it is. But beyond that, we look at where we get our security. And in general, in our spiritual life, we need to value those devotees who value us, and we should not overvalue the devotees who devalue us. That way, we can respect other devotees who have different sources of security and strength, and we don’t have to take their particular moral judgments too personally or too seriously.

We accept that they have their way of looking at things. And, as long as we have some devotee guides to whom we are accountable and who are pleased with us, then we cannot please everyone. At the same time, we don’t have to go about deliberately displeasing someone. We can just focus on going ahead in our bhakti. And if we have to work with some devotees whose value system is significantly different from ours, then maybe it is best if we find some areas of intersection where we both can work together.

And then we continue on in our path. Hope that answers.