How do we know when we are accepting ourselves and when we are justifying our weaknesses?

So, while we all have certain shortcomings and deficiencies, what attitude should we adopt when working on them so that we don’t end up justifying those flaws? Especially when we understand that ultimately, pleasing and loving Krishna is our highest goal.

Yes, we want to offer the best we can to Krishna in everything we do. So if we notice some deficiencies, naturally we want to work on them and overcome them. For example, if someone is cooking for Krishna but can’t cook well, they will want to improve their cooking skills so they can offer Krishna the best possible food.

The same applies to any service we perform — it could be skills-related or related to our values, motives, or general behavior when serving Krishna. So, on one hand, there is a sincere aspiration to be the best we can be.

At the same time, the reality is that we are all limited, fallible, and flawed beings. Not only do we make mistakes, but we are conditioned in ways that make certain flaws part of us.

So what do we do? We try to learn from our experiences, from our observations, and from association with others. When we make mistakes or have unhealthy habits, the key is to honestly assess whether we are justifying them or accepting them realistically because change takes time. (This is a topic I plan to explore more tomorrow.)

Two important tools for this are introspection and association. Through introspection, when we take time to reflect, we can move beyond the heat-of-the-moment reactions — where we either beat ourselves up or excuse ourselves by saying, “This is just who I am.” With calm reflection, we can see where we might do better.

And through association, trustworthy friends, mentors, or guides can give us honest feedback. Some aspects of ourselves might be undesirable but hard to change, so we need to accept them. Other aspects might be changeable, but we may just be too lazy or unmotivated to work on them.

In this way, both introspection and association act like mirrors. Just as a mirror shows us what about our face is fixed (like the shape) and what can be adjusted (like a crooked tilak), these tools help us see what parts of ourselves to accept and what parts to improve.

It’s not about justifying flaws, but about choosing our battles wisely. If we start listing everything wrong with us—especially when our hypercritical mind is active—we could easily come up with 50 faults in five minutes. Trying to work on all of them at once would overwhelm and crush us.

So, we must decide which areas are most important to focus on right now. For example, we might decide to complete our rounds each morning, study the Bhagavatam daily, never refuse service, be responsible in family life, and perform well at our job for Krishna’s pleasure.

All these are excellent goals, but trying to do all simultaneously can overwhelm us. We should maintain basic attention to all but focus on one or two areas for improvement at a time.

If I decide to focus on improving my japa practice in the mornings, I may need to say no to late-night engagements—even if it means saying no to some devotees. That’s part of realistic prioritization.

Sometimes, certain things are very difficult or even impossible to change. And even if something is changeable, trying to change it at too high a cost can cause us to neglect other more important or easier changes.

That’s why developing introspection and using association as a mirror to understand ourselves deeply is essential. It helps us discern when we are truly accepting ourselves or justifying flaws.