When we are unable to follow instructions, what can we do?

Sometimes we are unable to act according to certain instructions. Why is that? There can be several reasons: insincerity, inability, or lack of priority.

Let me explain these three, as our response depends a lot on which reason applies.

First, insincerity means the person simply doesn’t want to improve, doesn’t care to improve, or doesn’t care about the issue at all. Sometimes that might be the case. But giving others—and ourselves—the benefit of the doubt means we should not jump straight to that conclusion. Insincerity is the most negative explanation: the person just doesn’t care about the instruction or improvement. They dismiss it as unimportant or impractical. That’s one extreme.

On the other hand, the most positive explanation is inability. Everyone has their own level of “willpower muscles,” shaped by their conditioning. We all try to overcome our conditioning, but how strong it is varies from person to person. Some conditioning fades quickly; other conditioning remains for a long time.

For example, some devotees, once they become devotees, never yell at anyone, no matter how angry they get. They speak calmly and politely. But some people still use foul words when angry—things a normal civilized person wouldn’t say, especially not a devotee. That can be jarring.

Instead of just judging where the person is now—“How can a devotee speak like that?”—we should also consider where they have come from. Maybe in the past, when angry, that person would not just use harsh words but physically harm others. Perhaps that was their survival mechanism growing up. So they have traveled a long journey to reach a point where even in anger they can speak politely. That takes time.

Kindness with oneself is sometimes necessary. Of course, if someone is unable to control certain impulses or impurities to a certain degree, then some roles may not suit them. For example, a person who cannot control anger should not be a mediator or a mentor, but they can serve in other ways.

Now, the third explanation is lack of priority. We all have many areas to improve. What seems most important to one person may not be the same for another. For example, someone might say, “You should study Bhagavatam every day,” but despite reminders, the person doesn’t study. Is that insincerity? Not necessarily.

They might say, “I have so many temple services to do, I have to do this and that.” From their perspective, their service may be most important. We can see this more positively—none of us can fight unlimited battles. Following an instruction often means fighting a battle against conditioning or impurity that holds us back.

In that case, the authority and the subordinate need to discuss whether the priorities are right. Maybe the subordinate has to give priority to something else at that time. For example, if a young mother is told to chant all her rounds in the morning, but her baby won’t stop crying until she finishes japa, then insisting she chant uninterrupted might be impractical. That is not a wrong priority—it’s what’s required at that time.

Sometimes the authority needs to understand why the subordinate has certain priorities, and sometimes the subordinate needs to understand that what they think is important may not be the highest priority. Services will keep coming, but if I don’t study scripture and nourish myself spiritually, I won’t be able to serve properly. Service will feel like just work, become a burden, and I may become resentful or disheartened and quit Krishna consciousness.

So nourishing oneself spiritually must be given priority. That discussion is necessary.

Broadly speaking, if we can honestly analyze why an instruction is not being followed—whether it’s insincerity, inability, or lack of priority—this applies both when giving instructions to others and when examining ourselves. Then we can determine the right course of action.

I’m sure you know more than me, Ata, so please feel free to add anything.