How can we pass on inheritance to our children in a way that they won’t misuse by acting in the lower modes?

Podcast:

So, don’t take too much inspiration from verses like this, but also don’t worry excessively that your life is deficient because you are not strictly following the personal guidance of a Śikṣā Guru or a Dikṣā Guru. Whatever way you are practicing, just try to find like-minded devotees. And in association with like-minded devotees, keep moving forward in your spiritual life.

If we want to give some charity to our children, especially wealth inherited from our parents, and if our children are grown up now, but we have some fear that they may misuse it or use it for activities in various modes, what can we do?

Broadly speaking, there are multiple factors to consider. Generally, within ISKCON, we consider mainly one factor—that is the consequence. How are they going to use the charity, and whether that will lead to bad karma.

It’s generally not that Krishna will be offended—this is a different matter. If they misuse the charity, Krishna is not such a judgmental God that He would be offended. But, broadly speaking, for their welfare in this life and the future, we try to have as much provision or protection against misuse as possible. That factor is important.

But along with that, it’s not just the consequence from a karmic perspective. Ultimately, we are devotees on the bhakti path. And the bhakti path is about relationships—our relationship with Krishna and with everyone in relationship with Krishna. So, our actions may also shape how they see Krishna because they see us as representing Krishna.

If we are kind, helpful, and charitable—and especially if the money we have is a legacy—it’s understandable that family may expect to receive that legacy at least partly.

So, two or three things: first, don’t be only karma-conscious or consequence-conscious about how they might misuse that Lakshmi (money). Be conscious also of how our act of giving affects their relationship with us and thereby their relationship with Krishna.

Additionally, if we can give Lakshmi in a way that is less likely to be misused or used for lower purposes—for example, as an addition to college funds for grandchildren or to clear a mortgage—then that could be helpful.

There are important needs and then there are wants. Everyone has certain key needs. Assisting them in fulfilling those needs and providing money in such a way that it can be used only for those needs might seem restrictive at first, but it can be beneficial in the long run.

Whether that is practically possible or not, it should not convey distrust in their ability to use money properly. Rather, it should convey that we care for them so much that we want the money to be used for things truly important for them. This way, concerns about misuse can be addressed.

Overall, these are the two main points I can think of: try to give for necessities, focusing not so much on money but on necessities. This is the principle when we try to give prasadam rather than money, because money can be misused for various things, but prasadam cannot be misused in that way.

Similarly, the same principle can apply to other things. And overall, we try to help further their relationship with Krishna through their relationship with us.

Thank you.