How Boundaries Protect Us Gita 3.41

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Thank you.
So having described the hideouts of the enemy Krishna is now moving forward to tell us how do we combat it? So we could say the 40th was about was about the hideouts of the enemy the 36th was the question who is it? 37 was the identity 38 was the reach the scope the gravity the reach 39 was the strategy it covers our knowledge. So now the hideout so now if you consider 41 it is the first step if you consider the fortress if somebody knows it is a fortress and there is an enemy army coming the enemy marching so then the first thing to do is close the gates make sure that the enemy doesn’t infiltrate the first step itself similarly Krishna is telling over here first step is Indriyanya the beginning of the senses this is how we need to so we can say the best way to deal with temptation is what don’t deal with temptation so now of course this is not always possible but whenever it is and it will be possible many more times than what we think it is if somebody tends to overeat and in their workplace maybe don’t keep any food over there somebody tries to somebody is vulnerable to alcohol then don’t keep any alcohol in your home let me say I want it for my guest I don’t want to drink it but my guests I want to be a good host I want for my guest side if they want it they ask for it I have to give it to them well you have a guest inside you that is your own craving that lust and that guest is going to consume that the likelihood of that consuming it is much more so now this might seem opposite to what was mentioned the what I mentioned previously that something like prohibition rarely works so here when you talk about don’t deal with temptation the principle here is boundaries now boundaries can be at various levels there can be zero tolerance there could be low tolerance now here I’m using the word tolerance in a particular way I’ll explain that really modest tolerance so for example many countries have a zero tolerance approach to terrorism or say universities may have a in America zero tolerance approach to racism that means you know not a single instance of this will be entertained so in some cases when we have the boundaries we may decide there’s zero tolerance for this now of course we do not live in a world which will allow us to have zero tolerance for everything unhealthy that’s not possible but there are always people who may want to drink there are always people who may want to do certain things which are unhealthy and you know the only way we can have zero tolerance to everything bad to everything unhealthy is to have an absolute dictatorship that dictatorship decides that this this is unhealthy and that that is healthy and that’s this is all that is allowed and that is all that is not allowed but then the problem is when something like this is done what if the dictatorship itself becomes unhealthy the dictators have bias and they say this is good this is bad although some of it may be good only for them it may not be good for others so we we cannot have complete complete complete elimination of all temptation from the world now this does not mean that this approach is impossible to use it may be usable in certain cases so for example if a person is is vulnerable to something then they may decide that this is not what I’m going to get into so for example now this is not necessarily a ideal that everybody has to follow but say there could be individual boundaries or individual decisions where somebody may say zero tolerance to say phones during meals during mealtime the family is together we’ll have no phones at all now that might seem like a harmless issue you know if I take a phone call what’s the issue no but it’s a time for us to be together okay that’s what you want to do that that that it’s an example but that may not be for everyone but some people it may be very important similarly some people may say that no phones during meetings at some place sometimes when people go to high security areas they say you have to keep your phone if somebody goes say to Camp David or something like that the high security place most people will not be allowed to carry their phones over there it’s okay so that is a zero tolerance approach over there now wherever it’s necessary it’s helpful say if we want to study a study Bhagavad Gita for example and our phone keeps distracting us then we may decide that okay for the 15 minutes or one hour I’m going to study the Bhagavad Gita I’m not going to keep the phone on me maybe I’ll keep the phone in the next room so zero tolerance to distraction at that this is possible and when especially in two situations when indulgence can be deadly so for example if somebody a young person is getting into drugs many places many companies have zero tolerance policy for drugs if you are smoking weed and work in the work then you are out you’re fired immediately now some people say weed is not that dangerous okay that’s their decision but if indulgence is deadly then there can be zero tolerance that’s a workable policy or another situation could be when focus is essential in the sense of it is a matter of it’s hugely consequential so for example some people may say that okay when you are driving you should not be texting some countries they have heavy fines when somebody’s seen handling the phone and especially not just looking at the phone but handling the phone while they’re driving so at that time there could be zero tolerance so each one of us may decide that particular areas I’ve had I have zero tolerance on this it is okay it may not be necessary for everyone but it is necessary for some people now when I’m talking individual boundaries there could also be collective boundaries so for example if some places are say monasteries or nunneries then and people from the opposite gender are not allowed over there there’s a zero tolerance policy for that and that’s fair enough now that doesn’t mean you attack and attack and hurt and injure the person who comes in but that’s not allowed over there so there could be collective boundaries also so some countries for example I was visiting Singapore some time ago and some countries in the middle east also they have zero tolerance policy for drugs so if somebody comes in they might be accidentally carrying some drugs if they carry them immediately severe punishments are given so now we’re not recommending that I’m just giving that as an example that there could be zero tolerance policies on some areas and it could be individually decided it could be collectively decided so if there is danger and we want to avoid the danger then there could be zero tolerance policy and having said that for most situations in our life we may have to have a low tolerance that we cannot have zero but we can have low so for example in most cultured societies even now now when sexual boundaries are much more much more lax as compared to the past but still if a man comes into a woman’s room and she’s alone and he’s alone what are you doing here? unless she wants him there and even if something else happens afterwards and he says no why did you let him in? that would be a valid question to ask and this is not to blame the victim but for some way some things now if somebody’s got a heart attack and the doctor who’s coming in to save the patient that’s a completely different situation but in general there needs to be low tolerance for certain things we cannot make it zero but it has to be low one of my friends is an author and he says he writes in his room that when he’s writing he says I put a notice also you know it’s meant for his family and also his friends you know when I’m writing if you disturb me I’m politely telling you I’ll break your legs now he’s not actually going to do that but the idea is low tolerance then there’s the emergency of course you know if the house is on fire you obviously want to know about it if somebody has suddenly got a medical issue or something like that you want to know you’re there at home but just because you’re at home doesn’t mean you’re available for everything at home you’re working from home there’s no tolerance so for many of us um what happens is low tolerance means boundaries are there boundaries are enforced but they are not absolutized there can be exceptions and this is where most people will be now what exactly is low will vary from person to person but if it’s in today’s world also even if somebody is very good looking if somebody stares at them that’s considered not polite and after that after some time if somebody keeps staring well what are you doing that’s considered uncivilized behavior so there’s there’s not much there is some tolerance but not a high tolerance to it now especially with respect to people who are good looking now good looking can be males females anyone but we cannot have zero tolerance in the sense that you can’t expect people to walk with around with closed eyes but if there is constant leering staring ogling that is beyond impolite that’s indecent and that’s certainly not to be that’s not accepted in society that’s not to be done so that’s low tolerance now some places there could be moderate tolerance so if you consider in different countries the men and when when people talk with each other in some countries people come very close to each other and talk with each other some places people keep a significant distance to talk with each other and how much distance people keep that may also vary between whether it’s people on the same people on the same gender talking different genders talking whatever it is so the point is that boundaries are essential so like this we could have multiple levels of boundaries some people may say that that once I start watching tv I’ll spend hours watching tv so I will not even keep a tv no tv in my house at all so that could be okay that’s that could be an example of zero tolerance but you know somebody can have fixed tv hours you know so parents may decide okay they are small kids okay you can play this video game for this much time now that’s a low tolerance now each individual may decide accordingly you know I need some I need some recreation and the tv is a good recreation well okay if that’s your boundary but then it’s important for each person as you write the letter to take responsibility be honest and sometimes I’m going to go to another point here but sometimes you know when these boundaries have been we are deciding boundaries there are multiple things involved over here first is as I said the individual decisions individual decisions also have to be there also has to be others who are involved others advise counsel guidance that’s required for sometimes we have a capacity to deceive ourselves so when we are having individual boundaries that we may think yeah this this is okay for me but it may not be okay so we need others counsel to confirm what we’re doing and when there are collective boundaries collective boundaries you could say are basically the state boundaries or the authority outside the boundaries but then here also others input is needed because otherwise it will become authoritarian some people can live within those boundaries but others can others cannot so if one boundary is imposed for everyone so now sometimes a person may say that you know cell phones are such a distraction they’re so entangling therefore no cell phones well you may be you may decide that you won’t have a cell phone but maybe you have a secretary who will give you important messages but not everybody has the luxury of having a secretary if you tell no cell phones for yourself that’s fair enough but you can’t impose that for everyone so everybody’s functional roles everybody’s practical requirement they also have to be considered so the point is that deciding boundaries is something which which is not easy but before we go into the specifics of deciding boundaries the principle needs to be accepted that boundaries are vital so there is the principle and there is the specific and the principle is universal if somebody’s are debating the principle itself then it becomes a problem and then the specifics may they are variable so even in a extremely liberal culture say for example most traditional sexual boundaries have been rejected whether they boundary of marriage their boundary of religion boundary of this boundary of that but that doesn’t mean there are no boundaries consent is an absolute boundary and that’s considered non-negotiable so so the point is the boundaries will always be there now interestingly I’ll go to the last point of this first that Krishna says that why do we need boundaries now we could say there are obviously otherwise we did not get discriminately but Krishna is giving a specific reason over here he says because the lust is the destroyer nashanam of two things he says destroyer of knowledge and of realization now that lust is a destroyer of knowledge that has already been discussed how it covers our knowledge this was discussed in 339 into some extent 40 also but 339 so that it covers the knowledge distorts our understanding but now it’s interesting vijnana means realization so what does it mean that lust destroys realization that means it’s like the force of lust the when the force of lust infects affects us we reject our own experiences it’s not that somebody else is telling us now don’t eat so much don’t drink so much it’s like we only in the past we ate too much we drank too much and it was terrible afterwards and our own experience is there that means we have a realization how troublesome this is and yet we reject that realization i don’t care no it won’t happen this time it happened last time and now it happened a dozen times there’s practically no time when somebody drinks a lot and doesn’t get a hangover splitting hangover and still next time that yeah this time it won’t so it’s almost like sometimes people say that boundaries are imposed by others and they take away individual autonomy but you know in one sense the greatest threat to individual freedom people want to have their freedom in america the iconic statue of liberty in new york the greatest threat to the individual freedom is actually the individual that means yes there can be political slavery there can be culturals cultural their political tyranny or slavery can be there but if you consider today’s world we could say slavery or some bondage at a political social collective level political or collective level it is actually very less now it is there but it is very less but at an individual level in the form of addictions for example you know addicts are basically slaves it’s huge and it’s increasing newer and newer forms of addictions are coming up so the point is boundaries are essential and then to the extent we recognize these boundaries if we don’t recognize if we don’t recognize and reinforce the boundaries then we will keep doing the things which we know are bad for us we thought which we have ourselves experienced to be bad there’s one addict one poet who wrote about his addiction he says he’s like addressing the addiction he said you treat me badly I trust you madly and it’s a tragic predicament normally if somebody treats us badly we won’t even want to be with that person even if we are with that person we’ll be on high alert but with respect to the things that we get addicted to every time we indulge we get into trouble we feel terrible we feel empty we feel miserable and yet next time when the allurement comes oh this time it will be good this time it will be different that well it won’t be different that when it’s a destroyer of realization the destroyer of realization means that we start believing this time it will be different but it won’t be and that’s why without boundaries we will end up repeating the same experience again and again and never learning from the experience they say experience is the best teacher and of course a fool learns in no other way but you could say experience is the best teacher so the second part is fool learns no other way that means we don’t need to experience everything to learn we can learn from others experience others experience can become our intelligence so that means so we could say there are three levels of people over here but what you can say is that but if somebody doesn’t learn even from experience then what are going to say for them they’re worse than fools they are you can say super fools tragically speaking so this is a terrible thing that’s if with so basically when there are boundaries you could say there are whys because they learn from others experience we all have heard stories of how greed can destroy lust can destroy anger can destroy and we learn from that and then the less wise or the foolish they need their own experience but the really foolish you could say the super foolish they don’t learn even from their own experience and this is the tragedy that if it is to be avoided then we absolutely need boundaries that’s why sometimes when somebody is addicted to something and they just are not able to give it up then they’re told they get them admitted in de-addiction centers where society or the environment imposes boundaries on them but there’s no access here for you for that drug or whatever so that way hopefully their intelligence comes up and they either some people will move down this track and they’ll become worse they could have learned from the next week but they never learn but fortunately some people can go upward also so this is the you could say this is the path of degradation and this is the path of elevation and of becoming more and more wise so now boundaries alone are not enough something more than one is also required but boundaries are a vital first step what more is required Krishna will talk in the next two verses so our overall theme in this verse was that why boundaries Krishna is talking about boundaries here so the first thing we discussed is that when there’s danger then we need protection and protection comes through boundaries so with respect to boundaries we discuss a spectrum that there could be the spectrum could be zero tolerance low tolerance and then moderate tolerance we discussed examples of each of these how exactly things can work in terms of for some things zero tolerance is required and for some things low tolerance is the significant point we spend time discussing with examples and then how this can be otherwise if no boundaries then last can be the destroyer of not just knowledge but which is already discussed but also of realization where we fail to learn even from our own experiences so thank you very much Hare Krishna