5 Gopi Gita | Texts 10-11 | Taking anxiety for Krishna’s service

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Hare Krishna. So today we continue our discussion on the Gopi Gita and here in different ways the gopis are calling out to Krishna, please return. The gopis are seated on the banks of the Yamuna.

It's night, there is the moon in the sky, they're feeling the gentle breeze coming from the river, they are seeing the beauty of the sky, the beauty of the forest, the beauty of the rivers, and all of it is only increasing the agony of their hearts, because all of this beauty has no meaning for them without the presence of Krishna. In fact all the other beauty is only reminding them of his painful, in fact unbearably painful absence, and as they are remembering the beauty of, seeing the beauty of nature they're remembering even more the beauty of Krishna, and thus as they meditate and call out to Krishna, they're describing his beautiful features. Prahasitam Priya Premavekshanam.

So Krishna had a gentle smile on his face when he was playing his flute and calling the gopis, and as they came he was acknowledging their arrival, smiling at them gently. Premavekshanam, he was glancing at them. Ekshanam is glance, veekshanam is a side glance.

So while sometimes Krishna would glance at them directly, like at the times of the Vrindavan Vrindavan was still a traditional conservative place, and the Vrajavatsis, they all were devoted to Krishna, but still there was a convention of how they lived. So every day when Krishna would go out to the forest, at that time the gopis would come on the terraces of their homes, and from there they would behold Krishna, and Krishna would have a side glance at them. So that way people would not notice, but he would glance at them, the gopis would notice.

So Veekshanam, Prahasitam Priya Premavekshanam, the beautiful side-long glances filled with love, they are what the gopis are calling out, they are remembering, Viharanam Chate, Viharanam. Viharanam is play, pastime, Leela. This is that remembering your pastimes is Dhyan Mangalam, it actually is very auspicious.

So normally the previous words also said that Shravana Mangalam. So from natural beauty they are reminded of Krishna's beauty, and as they're remembering Krishna's beauty, Krishna, they're not just hearing Krishna's pastimes, Krishna has performed pastimes with them. So it's a much much more intimate level of participation they have had.

So Dhyana Mangalam, so it is not just, it's very auspicious to remember these pastimes, that they are themselves doing Dhyana of those pastimes. Dhyana is a very advanced stage of absorption, Dhyana Dharana Samadhi. So Dhyana doesn't just mean thinking, Dhyana means meditating, being absorbed.

Dhyana Mangalam, and then they are saying not only did Krishna perform pastimes with us, but Rahasi Samvido, Yardis Prashahan, Rahasi Samvido, Krishna spoke very confidential words, Samvido is Samvad, Rahasi is alone in private, that when we are with others, sometimes we have to put on a profile, put on an appearance before others. So even if say among two people there is a lot of quarrel going on, but still in front of, in public, they will speak very positively about each other, because in one sense that may be required for the surveys, they may be conscious of their image, whatever it is, that the idea is that if say parents have a quarrel, they won't quarrel in front of their children, the children go out of the room, children are somewhere else, the parents will close the door, and then they will have their heated discussion or whatever. So the point is that in public we may speak certain things, and that's fair enough, even if public if somebody appreciates, that is of value, but in private, when somebody speaks some words of praise, that is not for public, that is not for public perception, that is not for PR value, that we are speaking because we value that person.

So Rahasi Samvido, the Gopis are saying in private, in these forests, when we met and we talked, and you spoke such sweet words to us that, that they touched our heart, they conquered our heart, and then they're saying, oh Krishna, and while all these are auspicious, all these are wonderful, but the more we are remembering them, our mind, it is actually becoming more and more agitated. So while remembering Krishna's pastimes is auspicious, it's Mangalam, but for them, it is leading to agitation. That is because it's this Krishna, this wonderful Krishna was with us, and he is gone.

Why has he gone? When is he going to come back? They're just not able to figure out. So the Shobhayanti, agitation is for multiple reasons. At the first level, there is a loss, and loss is bad enough, but there is, they're at loss about why the loss.

At loss means, they just don't know. It's like, you know, we invested money in a bank, and the money just disappeared. What happened? Did somebody steal the money from us? Did the bank crash? If we have no explanation, they say, oh, your money is lost.

You say, how can it be lost? There has to be some explanation. They're at a loss at why there is such a loss, and then on top of that, this loss is in a place where they expected the greatest gain. They have come to the forest, giving up everything for Krishna.

That point of giving up, they will talk a little later. But they have come, lost, you know, at place of expected gain. So if you go to some place where we expect a very difficult discussion, because we know that person is unhappy with us, so then we are a little prepared for it.

But if we go for what is expected to be a very warm and pleasant meeting, and there suddenly the person starts chastising us and berating us and literally spewing out poison, we are unprepared. That causes even more pain. They're agitated.

The gopis are finding all this just unbearable. And that's how they're saying, Krishna, we are agitated. Please, please come back.

Please come back and relieve us of this agitation. Please explain what happened. Please explain what we should do.

If somebody is upset with us and they tell why we are upset, why they are upset, we can try to fix it. But if we have no idea what has gone wrong, then it is very difficult. So we are agitated, Krishna.

Our mind is unbearably agitated. So thinking about Krishna is normally meant to pacify us. But sometimes thinking about Krishna can also agitate us.

So what is the point of thinking about Krishna? Isn't it? bhajahure mana shrinandanandana abhaya charanaravindare So I want to have abhaya. I think about Krishna to be free from fear. But thinking about Krishna is going to cause me agitation.

It's going to cause me anxiety. And what is the point of it? So actually, there is a point that in our Krishna consciousness, even we are trying to have a relationship with Krishna. Now we are fighting in one sense two battles.

There is the internal battle for remembrance. We want to remember Krishna. But there is an external battle for service.

We don't just want to remember Krishna sitting in some cave peacefully. We want to serve Krishna. We want to do something tangible for Krishna.

And for remembrance, for remembering Krishna, we have to fight against our mind, which distracts us. And that is a tough fight. And for serving Krishna, we have to fight against the world.

Because nothing in this world is easy. If you want to achieve anything materially, it is not easy. If you want to build a bungalow, it's not easy.

So many complications come up. If you want to build a temple for Krishna, it's not easy. It's the nature of the world.

So in both cases, there is fight. It is against the mind and against the world. So now, in one sense, we are fighting this battle on two fronts.

And sometimes what happens is that these two battles themselves start fighting against each other. That means sometimes our thoughts of service distract us from our remembrance. We may say the service is for Krishna.

But in serving Krishna, Okay, I've got this problem, that problem, that problem. What am I going to do? And then we sit down to chant, we will not be able to chant. And sometimes remembrance may come in the way of service.

Now, if somebody, say, sitting in a class and they start chanting Hare Krishna. Okay, it's good to chant, but maybe not in the class. Say, if you have a heart attack and say we are taken to hospital, the devotee is a heart surgeon.

And while doing heart surgery, the devotee starts chanting Hare Krishna. Say, hey, you know, I want to go back home, not go back to Godhead right now. So at that time, if the devotee doctor wants to chant, that's good.

But the focus should be on doing the surgery properly. Isn't it? If the devotee is doing surgery, is focusing on chanting and does some surgery wrong. You know, that will be a disservice.

So, so basically sometimes between remembrance and service itself can be a tension. And one time Tamal Krishna Mahaj asked Prabhupada in the Juhu project time that he said that Prabhupada, there's all this anxiety about getting the permissions for the land, getting this, getting that. It's causing me so much anxiety.

It's disturbing my japa. And Prabhupada's reply completely disarmed him. He said, Prabhupada said, it is disturbing my japa also.

And then Prabhupada added, your anxiety for serving Krishna will take you to Krishna. Your anxiety for serving Krishna. See, because for us, it's a matter of a relationship with Krishna.

And when there is a relationship, in a relationship, there is a rich variety of emotions. A relationship, yes, definitely there is happiness. But happiness is only one component in the relationship.

So, sometimes in a relationship, there can be anxiety. Say, a husband and a wife have a very good relationship. But say, the child has met with some accident.

And the mother rushes, the child has met with some accident from school and the school has taken him to the hospital. The mother rushes from the home. The father rushes from the workplace.

The mother also rushes from the workplace, wherever they come together. Now, both of them are together and they are waiting, what is the report? Now, they are coming closer to each other, but they are not happy. In the relationship, anxiety can also bring people together, isn't it? So, sometimes there may be not anxiety so much as tension.

Tension is more of something like stress. Say, a child's 10th exam has been given and the board results are going to come out. We are waiting.

So, there is some tension. You can call it anxiety, but it is slightly different. So, in a relationship, there are different emotions.

Sometimes there is peace. Sometimes when two people come together, after they meet after a long time, they may have some things to talk. But after that, they will just be together and they are just happy to be in each other's presence.

Like when two people care for each other, there can be a comfortable silence between them. They don't have to necessarily talk. Sometimes two people can be together and there can be silence which is very uncomfortable.

Because neither of them maybe wants to be there. They are thinking how to talk, what to talk, what not to talk. So, the point is, in a relationship, there are many different emotions.

And if we think that, okay, in Krishna consciousness, I will have peace, I will have joy. Yes, we will have those. But if that is all that we think we will have, then we will miss out on the richness of the relationship with Krishna.

A real relationship has a variety of emotions. And many times when we take up anxiety for our loved one, that shows our love. From a material perspective, Prabhupada was far more peaceful in Vrindavan.

When he left it all to go to America, at a logistical level, there was a lot of anxiety. Practically, where was he going to stay? What was he going to do? Where was he going to get his funds? A lot of anxiety was there. In Vrindavan, he didn't have so much anxiety about funds.

In Madhukari, he could get some food. In America, you cannot do Madhukari. So, the point is that Prabhupada took up that anxiety because that anxiety was serving Krishna.

That anxiety was enabling him to serve Krishna. Now, of course, we cannot take so much anxiety that it causes a rupture in the relationship itself. Anxiety may be there, but then we have to make sure that we are connected with Krishna.

So, sometimes anxiety can become unmanageable. And then we may have to, if we are just too much service and because of that there is anxiety, then we may have to delegate service to someone, maybe take a step back from some responsibilities. Practically, we have to consider our limitations, our situations.

But the principle is Bhakti is not about a simply an anxiety-free life. It is about a Krishna conscious life, a life in a relationship with Krishna. So, now having said this, that there are multiple emotions in any relationship and these emotions enrich the relationship.

So, generally speaking, emotions and desires, are they the same thing? No. What is the difference? Sorry? You have no desire for explaining? Okay. It could be complex, but broadly speaking, this is our consciousness and this is the outer world.

So, when perception comes from outside to inside, what we experience is emotion. When we seek to do something, that is desire. So, generally emotion is more associated with the Jnana Indriyas.

What we take in, that is what triggers emotions, Jnana Indriya. Now, of course, whatever emotions we feel, subsequently, we contemplate and Sanghas, hey, that's nice, that's good, that looks great. So, that's the emotion.

Sangha, that's good. But then after that, Sangha Sanjayate Kamaha. Okay, that's good.

I want it. That is the desire. So, desire generally pushes our Karma Indriyas.

So, both emotions and desires are related, but they are not the same. So, for example, it is said that we will all feel tempted in life. The world is filled with attractive objects and we will feel tempted.

To feel tempted is not wrong. If we see something attractive, we feel attracted. But to act on it, especially to act on it in an adharmic way, that is definitely wrong.

So, in a real relationship with Krishna, we'll have emotions and we'll have desires. So, if a devotee sees a magnificent building, devotee may say, Oh, Krishna should have a temple like this. That's emotion, hey, that's a great building.

The desire is, maybe he should make a temple for Krishna like this. So, emotion can lead to desire. So, yesterday I didn't get to clarify one point.

Godly Apparoh had asked me also, so I'll explain that now. What is the difference between, say, having a material desire and having domination by desire? So, if Prabhupada is serving Krishna, then what about his spiritual desires? See, the principle is, a devotee also has desires to serve Krishna. But for a devotee, the desire, if Krishna is here and the world is here, there is a desire for Krishna and there is a desire to serve Krishna through the world.

So, for example, when we come in front of the deities, we want to take darshan of the deities. We also think, okay, maybe I want to offer a golden necklace to the deities. Maybe I want to build a temple for the deities.

So, there is a desire for Krishna and you can say desire for facilities for Krishna. So, the test of our devotion should be that the desire for Krishna needs to be greater than the desire even for the facilities for Krishna. So, domination by desire means that some desire becomes so dominant that it drives Krishna also out of our consciousness.

I may say this desire is for Krishna only. But if the desire for Krishna is taking up our mind so much, then what is happening is that there is no place for Krishna only. Somebody says, you know, okay, I want to give a million dollars to Krishna in charity.

Okay, that's a wonderful desire. But to earn a million dollars, I have to work so hard, I'll be so busy that I won't have time to come to satsang, I won't have time to chant my rounds, I won't have time to do any bhakti. What is going to happen by that is, even if we get the million dollars, after we get the million dollars, mind will think, okay, maybe I should get two million, then I'll give one million.

So, the desire for the million dollars will increase, the desire for Krishna will go away. So, if you see, Prabhupada had many, many desires for serving Krishna. But Prabhupada was not dominated by those desires.

See, if you see, we often talk about how spectacularly successful Srila Prabhupada was. So, Prabhupada's success is spectacular, that he was able to build 108 temples, write over 70 books, inspire millions of people to take up bhakti. But Prabhupada's lack of success, that is also instructive.

See, two of the things that Prabhupada invested himself the most in was his Bhagavatam translation and his Juhu temple. Prabhupada fought so hard for these two things. And the Juhu temple was so close to inauguration.

Prabhupada departed from the world in November 1977 and the Juhu temple was inaugurated in January-February 1978. Just 2-3 months away. So, Prabhupada could have said, Krishna, please let me stay for 2-3 months.

I have done this for you, let me see the success. But there was no dissatisfaction like that. Prabhupada, when he was asked towards the end of his life, do you have any last desires, Prabhupada said, So, if Krishna wants me to be there, I will be there.

If Krishna doesn't want me to be there, I am okay with that. Prabhupada could have said, the Bhagavatam, the 10th canto is the most important. Let me complete, even if not the 11th and 12th canto, at least let me complete the 10th canto.

And Prabhupada was doing what he could. Jaya Dvait Maharaj was with Prabhupada. He was saying that Prabhupada had so little strength that Prabhupada could barely speak.

They would keep the dictaphone right next to the lips of Prabhupada and that's how they would catch what they were dictating. So, Prabhupada was doing everything he could. But still Prabhupada was not attached.

So, he had desire, but that desire did not dominate. So, dominate means it takes over everything else in our life. So, that did not take over Krishna.

That did not drive Krishna out of his consciousness. So, for us, we all may have desires, we may also have plans. And our plans may be even for Krishna.

Okay, if I get this job, if I can get this kind of house over here, many other temple, maybe I get this level of financial stability, I can serve Krishna better. And maybe this is true. So, we all can make plans.

That's perfectly fine. But the key should be we hold our plans lightly. And we hold our Lord tightly.

Hold our plans lightly, hold our Lord tightly. Sometimes we do the opposite. We hold our plans tightly.

And Krishna, why is this not working? What is the point of my doing all this bhakti if this doesn't work? And we start holding our Lord lightly. So, that should not happen. So, the gopis are agitated here.

But still they are remembering Krishna. Their remembrance of Krishna has not become diverted. That is still fixed and focused.

So, let's sing once. I will quickly tell the meaning and then we will recite it once. Chalasi yad vrajaach.

So, from Vrinda, Chalasi, when you move out. Chaarayan pashun, when you go out to graze the pashu, the cows. Nallina sundaram naathate padam.

Your lotus feet are just like lotus flowers. They are so beautiful, they are so tender. Sheela trunankurai.

That in the forest of Vrindavan, there are pebbles, there are thorns, there are branches. Seedati dina, those will be piercing your feet, they will be hurting your feet. And thinking of this, Kalilatam manah kanta gacchati.

Oh Lord, we are being extremely agitated thinking that your lotus feet are being hurt. So, Krishna, a small piercing of your lotus feet is like ripping apart of our heart. Krishna, please come back.

Please return. Even if you are upset with us, because of us, please don't stay away. Please don't hurt yourself.

Please come back. Chalasiyaadvraja, chaarayan pashun. Chalasiyaadvraja.

Nallina sundaram naathate padam. Nallina sundaram naathate. Sheela trunankurai.

Seedati dina. Sheela trunankurai. Seedati dina.

Kalilatam manah kanta gacchati. Kalilatam manah kanta gacchati. So, here the love of the gopis is being expressed in a different way.

They are saying, Krishna, if you don't care that we are hurting, we still care that you are hurting. That we don't want you to hurt yourself for our sake. The Vraja forest is dark.

They have come to the banks of the Jamuna. There the forest is cleared a little bit. And they are sitting on the grass over there.

They have gone deep into the forest in searching for Krishna. On the banks of the Jamuna, it's a clear bank. So, there Krishna is not there.

They couldn't see him there. So, they are still not seeing Krishna. So, they think Krishna is in the forest.

The forest is so dark, oh Krishna. And if we can't see, even Krishna will not be able to see. If Krishna is not able to see, then he will step on a thorn that will hurt him.

Krishna, please, we don't want you to be hurt. Please come back. We will nurse your lotus feet.

If there is any hurt, we will help heal it. So, now the same Gopis have, in a few verses earlier, said, phani phanaar pitam, te padambujam. Krishna, they know that Krishna has danced in the hoods of Kaliya.

And those hoods had fangs. They had poisonous teeth. And they know Krishna has survived that.

Krishna has thrashed Kaliya. So, they could have said, Krishna, what are these thorns going to do to you? The fangs of Kaliya could not do anything to you. So, we may say, if the phanaar, they didn't hurt, then what is Truna going to hurt? So, why should we care? But that is not the mood of devotion.

The mood of devotion is a mood of service. But this kind of implication is not there. Even if Krishna is all-powerful, a devotee thinks that I am meant to serve Krishna.

And if Krishna is in discomfort, we want to comfort him. We want to serve him. So, there is philosophy, and there is the purpose of philosophy.

Krishna talks about gyanam, genyam, gyanagamyam, Hrithisarvasya vasthitam. There is gyana, genya. This gyana is knowledge.

Genya is the object of knowledge. Gyanagamyam is the objective of knowledge. Why are we seeking knowledge? So, it is important that whatever philosophy we know, the purpose of philosophy ultimately is service attitude.

Service attitude towards Krishna and service attitude towards others in relationship with Krishna. That is the ultimate purpose of philosophy. So, now, in one sense, you could say philosophy is like a vast circle.

Now, from that, we need to draw those points which enhance our service attitude. Not those points which destroy our service attitude. Prabhupada says in a lecture that Krishna doesn't say to Arjuna, Arjuna doesn't say to Krishna, Arjuna doesn't say to Krishna that Krishna, you showed me the universal form.

You showed how all the Kauravas are going to die. So, you kill them now. He doesn't say that.

He says, karishe vacanam tava. So, in the Gita, there is, the Gita's knowledge is there and then how does Arjuna choose that? He doesn't choose the point that God is all-powerful. So, that is true, but he can do it himself.

He doesn't take that point from there. What he takes is God is all-powerful and I am a part of that all-powerful God. So, let me do what he wants.

That is the point that Arjuna takes from the scripture. So, this is what? So, this will not enhance our service attitude. So, this is to be avoided.

This, I will serve him. karishe vacanam tava. This will enhance our seva bhava.

So, it's vital that we take philosophy in the light of its purpose. Otherwise, philosophy can actually take us away from Krishna. I'll take three examples of this.

First is Hiranyakashipu. Hiranyakashipu, while instructing Hiranyaksha's widow and his sons, he says that the soul is eternal. And now, that is true.

Krishna is also telling that Arjuna's soul is eternal. What is Hiranyakashipu's conclusion? He says, because the soul is eternal, he said that I will perform austerity lifetime after lifetime as long as it takes till I become powerful enough to kill Vishnu. And in the meantime, you attack the Yajnasthali, you attack the sages, you attack the brahmanas and take away everything that is in support of Vishnu.

So, his knowledge led to the opposite conclusion. Isn't it? The soul is eternal, therefore we should seek an eternal object of love. The soul is eternal, therefore I have an eternal object of enmity.

I have an eternal objective of revenge. So, it's completely opposite. So, his Jnanagamya is the opposite of what should be.

Similarly, say if you are serving a senior devotee, maybe you think, oh, this senior devotee is such an advanced devotee. And this devotee has done so much seva to Krishna. He is so pure.

And suppose that devotee gets some cancer, some terrible disease. I think, you know, okay, why does one get cancer? I thought you were such a great soul, but you must have done some terrible karma in the past. That's why you got cancer.

All that you think about you being a pure devotee, no, you are not a pure devotee at all. You are a sinful person. And the proof of your sinfulness is you got cancer.

Therefore, I should not serve you. Should we think like that? No, why they got cancer is between them and Krishna. Isn't it? That is not for us to know.

We should think, this is a devotee, this devotee is in distress. I should serve this devotee. So, when there is an advanced devotee, an advanced devotee gets some disease.

We could say at one level, so the point is, we shouldn't be seeing what is their past karma. We should see what will enhance our sevabhaav. Whatever, the thinking of the past karma is not going to enhance our sevabhaav.

Or for that matter, if some devotee is in pain, say, Prabhu, you are not the body, you are the soul. Well, you know, if we say that, we are saying philosophy to justify not doing service. Isn't it? So, actually, yeah, we are not the body.

True, but we live through the body. The body is our instrument for serving Krishna. And if the body is in trouble, we feel troubled by that.

So, if our philosophy takes away our service attitude, that is not at all healthy. And third is, if somebody is subjected to some atrocity, they may not even be a devotee, it's an innocent person also, is subjected to some atrocity. Recently, four or five days ago, there was a controversy going on.

In Tamil Nadu, in some school, they invited some Hindu teacher to come. And in that class, apparently the teacher, or one of the teachers who was attending, she was physically handicapped. And this Hindu teacher, while giving an example of karma, he said, you know, if somebody has a physical handicap, that's because of their past karma.

And it's created such a furore over there. So, now, we have to have a certain level of, first of all, decency, but more importantly, humility. See, why do we talk about past karma in such situations? There was this horrible rape of that medical student that happened in Kolkata.

Horrendous what was done. So, somebody asked me a question, what was her karma? I said that when Draupadi was dishonored, did anybody ask her what was her karma? When Sita was abducted, did Ram say, it must have been your karma only because you got abducted? No. When somebody is in distress, when somebody is subjected to astrocity, we should never think about their past karma.

What we should be thinking about is my present dharma, not their past karma. That what is it for me to do over there? See, once we start thinking about people's past karma, where are we going to stop? If a mother has a newborn baby and the baby is crying, should the mother think the baby is crying because of past karma? If I comfort the baby, I am interfering with her past karma. So, therefore, I will let the baby cry.

If some speaker says that, in their class, bring a crying baby. Take the baby away, tell the speaker, the baby is crying because of your past karma. Isn't it? See, it is very easy to use philosophy as long as that philosophy does not cost us anything.

When the philosophy starts costing us something, immediately we find some other way to do things. If I am sick, I will go to a doctor. If somebody else is sick, tolerate it, it is your karma.

So, we should have service attitude. See, Krishna says, The movement of karma is very complex. And why something is happening in somebody's life is very difficult to know.

Even Dharma personified as the bull, when speaking to Parikshit Maharaj, Parikshit Maharaj asked him, what is the cause of your suffering? And he says, na koi karma bijana, vaakya bheda vimohita. So, he said that what is the cause of suffering, kleshya vaakya bheda vimohita. There are different theories about it.

I don't know. Dharma himself is saying, I don't know the cause of suffering. And we have so much certainty this person is suffering because of their past karma.

What arrogance? See, the focus of karma is not, generally karma is forward looking, not backward looking. What it means is, that implication of karma is eminently positive. That our actions matter, even if they don't seem to.

I may be working very hard, and my boss is not recognizing me. This other fellow, half of my work and this person has got a raise, this person has got a promotion. So, you know, we are doing hard work because of no use in life.

Life is all twisted. No. Sometimes the results that we get in our life are also because of past karma.

So, our present actions do matter, even though the results don't seem to be coming. So, the emphasis of karma is eminently life affirming. Our present actions matter.

Karmaṇye vādhikāraṣṭhī. Krishna says, you have a right to do your work because through your work, you can make a positive difference in the world. In your own future and in the world's future also.

So, therefore, the essential implication of Krishna is, of karma is our actions matter. Therefore, choose wisely. Therefore, act intelligently.

That is the implication of karma. Our actions matter. So, the gopis are not thinking of Krishna's divinity and saying that Krishna is not going to be hurt.

Philosophy should lead to service attitude. That's why from within the philosophy, we need to find out those points which enhance our service attitude. So, is it true that the suffering comes because of past karma? Well, suffering has many causes.

And which particular cause is working right now, it's difficult to know. Say, if I put my hand near fire and my hand gets burnt. Is it because of past karma? Or is it because of present karma? If somebody eats a dozen ice creams on a cold night and next morning their throat is terrible, previous night they were saying ice cream, now they say ice cream.

Now, is that because of, if their throat is terrible, is it because of past karma? Well, yes, but it is past night's karma, not past life's karma. So, when some situation comes in our life, when we face some situation, it is a result of an unpredictable combination of present and past actions. So, present actions play a role, past actions play a role.

Now, how much is the present action, how much is the past action? We don't know. And there has to be humility. Why suffering is there, I don't know.

But what I do know is that if we take shelter of Krishna, the suffering will decrease. The suffering will gradually go away. I was once giving a class in a very leftist college.

Generally, we do our outreach in engineering colleges. So, there the students are not very ideologically indoctrinated. In leftist colleges, especially humanities, arts colleges, the students get quite ideologically indoctrinated.

So, I was giving a class and after that one boy asked a question. He said that, you know, you are telling us about this whole philosophy of Bhagavad Gita. Bhagavad Gita teaches karma.

He said, you have got a physical handicap. That means you have done some bad karma in the past. So, if you have done bad karma, what right do you have to tell us about what kind of karma we should do? So, then I replied, yes, it's probably true that I did some bad karma in the past.

But the fact is, Krishna is so merciful that in spite of my bad karma, he has accepted me and he has engaged me in some service. He says, you have not done any bad karma like that. You will be accepted by Krishna much faster.

So, serve him. So, the point here is that philosophy can be weaponized. And we should never be weaponizing philosophy.

We should be thinking how philosophy should be used to increase our service attitude. And yes, who has done what karma, that is not our consideration. Our consideration should be what is my dharma in this situation.

So, I will summarize what I discussed. Are there any questions at this point? Okay, then I will not take any other words. Let me summarize, then we can have questions.

So, mainly we discussed two points today. We discussed first about, based on the Gopi Gita, about how The Gopis are saying our minds are agitated. So, we talked about how can bhakti agitate our mind.

Well, yes, bhakti has two aspects. So, there is remembrance and there is service, internal and external. And service sometimes can work against remembrance.

So, sometimes we may have, through service we fight against the world, in remembrance we fight against the mind. Now, when service goes against our remembrance, what it means is, we have a relationship with Krishna. And in the relationship there is happiness, there is peace, but there is also anxiety, there is also tension, there are variety of emotions.

There are many emotions within a relationship with Krishna. That's why when we are serving Krishna, we accept that, I am not just looking for peace, I am trying to relate with Krishna. That's why we hold our plans lightly.

We all will make plans to serve Krishna, but we need to hold our Lord tightly. That anxiety is there, okay. What that means is, yes, this anxiety is there, I want to serve Krishna, and I will do my best, but if it doesn't work, then that's okay.

We discussed the example of Srila Prabhupada's two most cherished projects not working out, Juhu and Bhagavatam. But Prabhupada was not so agitated by that that he disconnected with Krishna. He remained focused on Krishna.

And then next we discussed about Krishna in pain. The feet of Krishna being pierced by the pebbles in Vrindavan. The Gopis, we discussed about how there is philosophy and there is purpose of philosophy.

So whatever philosophical point we take, its result should be our service attitude should increase. So from the whole vast box of philosophy, we need to take out that point which would increase our service attitude. So otherwise it's a misuse of philosophy.

I discussed three examples of that. Hiranyakashipu misusing, and then a devotee having a disease, and somebody suffering some horrendous injustice or atrocity. So our focus should not be on people's past karma.

Our focus should be on our present dharma. And that way we will have our service attitude. Thank you very much.

Hare Krishna. Yes, please. Yeah.

Thank you so much for bringing the point of anxiety in service. Because I always get feedbacks from devotees that I get very anxious in service. The factors which are under my control, I try to totally take care of it.

But then to the anxiety arises. So I just want to know what are the symptoms that I am going overboard. That sometimes I may lose Krishna.

I am not able to understand. What are the symptoms? Symptoms that I am going overboard in my anxiety. That I should, I should.

Okay. Yuktaharavihara, as Krishna says, regulated in everything. So, in general, you know, there are these three zones of functioning.

There is comfort zone. Then there is stretch zone. And then there is panic zone.

So, say, if somebody goes to a gym to lift weights, Now, if they are capacitive, they can lift about 15 kg weight. And they lift 1 kg weight. Well, they are not really going to develop anything.

It's not going to be a workout. If you are going to the gym, it will be a bigger workout than lifting the weight. So, if you are in a comfort zone, there is no stretch at all.

So, generally comfort zone is associated with tamas, the mode of ignorance. Now, if we are to grow, we need to push ourselves. So, if somebody can lift 15 kg, then they try to lift 15.5, 16.

That stretch is what is going to help them grow. So, in yoga, it's all about stretching the body. But the key is, even in yoga, we have to stretch our body, but stretch our body in a way that is not too uncomfortable.

It shouldn't be causing pain. If it starts causing pain, then don't hold the pose for so long. Stop it.

So, the idea is that we want to come out of the comfort zone to the stretch zone. But even that, it's almost you can say we want a comfortable way out of the comfort zone. A comfortable way.

If somebody is doing a pose which is very uncomfortable, then that's not very healthy to do. We want to stretch ourselves in a way that is comfortable for us. So, stretching ourselves is like sattva, broadly.

In any area we want to grow, we need to learn something. If you are reading a book, okay, I want to learn something new. It will exercise my brain, but that's how my brain will develop, my knowledge will develop.

So, now, when somebody can lift 15 kg weight and they lift a 50 kg weight, then what will happen? They themselves will become a weight that somebody has to lift on a stretcher afterwards. So, that is the panic zone. This is in Rajas.

So, in Rajas, what happens? In general, we can say, with respect to our capacities, in Rajas, we overestimate our capacity. Yesterday I talked about ego. Ego means I can do everything.

So, ego is a characteristic of Rajoguna. I can do everything. We overestimate our capacity.

Tamas, we underestimate our capacity. I can do nothing. So, in sattva, we are able to better estimate our capacity.

So, broadly speaking, how do we know that the anxiety we are taking is too much? It will be that it just makes us dysfunctional. That particular service, if I try to lift a heavy weight, I just become dysfunctional after that for some time at least. So, like that, if somebody has a managerial nature, they are good at managing, then they may be doing 10 things and they can do all 10 things.

You do this, you do this, you do this. Their mind can keep track of it all. Like they can juggle many balls.

Now, some people just don't have a managerial nature. Okay, let me complete one project, then I'll start the next project. If that is what our nature is, then that's what we do.

So, somebody who can do 10 things, they are told to just do one thing at a time. See, the idea of one thing at a time, it sounds good, but it's not necessarily always true. Our consciousness is very powerful.

And we can do parallel processing of things. Say, when we are driving a car, we can be hearing a lecture. We can, most of us, apart from when we come for classes, physically sitting, most of us, when we hear classes, it's like parallel processing.

We may be doing dishes, we may be doing laundry, we may be going for a walk, so it's perfectly fine. The thing is that parallel processing, when can we do it? When it doesn't cause a cognitive overload. If I am with two earphones, I hear two classes.

There is no parallel processing. There is parallel confusing over there. So, that is a cognitive overload.

That is too much. Because the same faculty, the same brain is being used for both things. So, we can do multiple.

Some people, they need to do multiple things. That's when they feel I am engaged sufficiently. But some people, they say, okay, let me just do one thing at a time.

So, we find out how we work best. Can we increase our capacity? I would say definitely. The whole point of growing in life is growing in our capacity to take responsibilities.

Say, a 5-year-old child doesn't have much anxiety. A 15-year-old child has much more anxiety. A 25-year-old person, youth, has much more anxieties.

And that's because they are growing, they are taking responsibilities. So, it is natural. As we grow, even biologically as we grow, our capacity to take up responsibility grows.

And one says, every responsibility brings with it some anxiety. So, we can increase our capacity, no doubt. At the same time, we may not be able to increase our capacity for taking anxiety.

Say for example, if this is my capacity right now. Capacity for taking anxiety. Now, for some people, the growth may happen, but the growth would be something like this.

That means, in the same domain they grow. Okay, I can give a class. Then someone has to give one class.

I need one week preparation. And after some time, okay, in one week I have ten classes. Okay, a lot this time for preparing this, a lot this time for preparing that, a lot this time for preparing that.

So, that capacity may increase. Now, for some people, it may be not just in that domain, their capacity to take anxiety in all domains may increase. So, that depends.

That means, okay, I can not only give classes, I can also counsel people after that. I can also do management. So, some people can do both ways.

But multiple things, some people may not do. So, our capacity will grow, but it may not necessarily grow in all directions. It may necessarily, it could grow in one direction.

And sometimes we find that, okay, somebody starts with taking a lot of anxiety. Okay, I'll do all kinds of services. After some time they discover, you know, that actually I am better off as a manager.

I don't want to be a speaker. When I say I want to be a speaker, I don't want to be a manager. That's okay.

So, our capacity will grow, but which way it will grow, that has to be explored. Okay. Sir.

Yeah, please. Last one. Professor, just yesterday I was talking with a boy who is relatively new to Krishna consciousness.

And he was mentioning some dreams which he has had previously also. And now also he is having some kind of bad dreams about snakes or something. So, I understand sometimes we use the philosophy of karma a little insensitively.

But, like I had to tell him some things related to karma. I did not use the word karma, but something related to past. So, I was just thinking, can a part of our present dharma be to tell the person about his past karma? Yes.

It is a part. It is not the whole. That is the key thing.

See, when somebody is suffering. So, different people are going through different situations in their life. Or rather, different people go through different situations in different ways.

So, our focus should be service attitude. How can I serve this person? And while serving, if making the point of karma is helpful, we can make it. But the karma should not be used to simply get God off the hook.

Don't blame God. It should not be just to justify our philosophy. Nothing is wrong.

You are only wrong. So, if that happens, then that is weaponization of the philosophy. We are using the philosophy of our particular agenda.

Just like, say, consider one of my, in Chicago, one of my devotee friends is a doctor. And he works in the emergency department over there. So, there are many people who take drug overdoses and they come there.

Now, sometimes people come repeatedly for drug overdoses. So, now, when they come repeatedly, now, at that time, when the person is overdosed, the doctor cannot chastise him. Why did you take overdose? At that time, the doctor's duty is to treat the patient.

Now, afterwards, doctor needs to tell, you know, if you keep taking overdose, it's going to be one of the ways it could be fatal. And we will try to help you, but we may not be able to help you. So, when the person is in a particular condition, our focus should be to help them.

And helping them, a part of it can be telling about the cause also. But if that is all that we are doing, that's not very helpful. So, now, with respect to karma, it depends on the individual.

How they are psychologically placed. That means, if a person is already very depressed, they are already feeling very down, oh, I am worthless, I am terrible, I am facing so many problems. And then you tell them, your problems are because of your own making.

You are such a terrible person. That's how they will interpret it. That means, you know, I know all the bad things I have done in this life.

Now, you are telling me, I did further bad things in previous life also. So, basically, if that person becomes psychologically burdened by it, that person becomes dysfunctional. Then you can say, no, yeah, in this life, bad things happen.

Why they happen is difficult to know. We can take shelter of Krishna and that can give us the strength to face the difficulties. But sometimes, rather than getting into the cause, we focus on the cure.

Sometimes as a part of giving the cure, we can also explain the cause. But karma is much more complex than what we think. And as far as I have seen, I have not seen a single place in scripture where someone is suffering and someone else is telling them, this is because of your karma.

Sometimes the person who is suffering might themselves say, I don't know what karma I have done in the past because of which I am suffering like this. But I have not seen a single place where someone else is suffering and other person says, it's your karma. When the citizens are starving, Pruthu doesn't tell you, it's your own karma you are starving.

When Rantidev, Shibi, the animals come to them saying, we are hungry, whoever comes to them saying, we are hungry, hunger is because of your own karma. Nowhere, I have not seen a single instance in scripture like that. Now sometimes, when a person is suffering, if you see, even when Chitraketu son passes away, the sages come and speak quite strongly to him.

But they are focusing more on Atma Gyan, the eternality of the soul, the temporariness of worldly relationships. They don't tell him, your son has died because it's your own karma. I don't think that's generally a very sympathetic way of functioning.

In fact, this is one of the strongest weapons used by Christians to criticize Hindus. And they say, in India there is so much poverty, there is such a discriminatory caste system and all that is because the Hindus believe in karma. That's why they are so concerned about getting rid of their own karma that they will go and donate in temples, but they will not give any charity to poor people.

So they are more calculative than compassionate. But our religion tells us that we should always serve others, we should always benefit others, we should see that Jesus is served by serving every poor person. This whole concept of Dharidharanara and all that, that was introduced by the Mayavadis because they saw that lot of Hindus were getting converted.

And poor Hindus were getting converted and wealthy Hindus were not helping at all. So people who are lower caste, they say, you are lower caste because you have done bad karma in the past. So stay where you are, you filthy person.

They say, no, everybody should get the opportunity to be elevated. So the idea is, is this karma meant for this, the philosophy? No. Has it been used like that? Unfortunately it has been.

Does it have to be used like that? Not at all. Actually, giving charity is a means to clear ourselves of past karma. The idea is that I have some karmic debt, when I do some good, yajna, dana, tapa, then when somebody receives charity from me, then by that they are helping me clear myself of past karma.

So I am grateful that you are accepting my charity. That is a way you could look at charity from a different perspective. Now of course we should consider whom we give charity to.

We should not give charity to alcoholics so they will drink more. But that is the most extreme kind of charity. So karma is, it has been unfortunately misused.

It's one of the ways in which a lot of conversions are happening is through adoptions. Among all the religions in the world, Hindus have the least adoption rate. Christians have the highest.

There is one Hollywood star. He has 10 children, 5 of his own children and 5 children he has adopted from 5 other continents. So it's a matter of glamour.

But they say that we are doing a great service. Now Buddhists accept the same point of karma. But Buddhists have a fairly high adoption rate.

Their idea is that, in Hindus their idea is we don't know what karma this child is bringing, from what gotra he has come, I don't want to get involved with him. But Buddhists say that by taking the responsibility for a child whose karma we don't know, we will be decreasing our karmic load. So we will be, so the same philosophy can be seen in different ways.

So the point is that our service attitude should not go down. So now in general, I'll add one point first, whenever we look at something, there are three factors the Mahabharata says. Is the action good or bad? We can look at the content of the action, we can look at the consequence of the action and we can look at the intent of the action.

So that means what am I doing? Why am I doing it? And what will be the result of doing it? So what has happened is, for many Hindus, karma philosophy has made them very consequence conscious. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. Oh, if I give food to this person, and if I give money to this person, this person misuses the money, then I'll get the karma.

Well, maybe, but Krishna is also Bhavagrahi. Our intent was not that the person should misuse it. So the action's utility, action's virtuosity is determined not only by the consequence, it's also what we are doing and why we are doing it.

If my intent was good, I only wanted to help that person, that person misused it, then am I to be held responsible for that? And it depends. If I knew that this person is likely to misuse it, then maybe I shouldn't be giving it. So that's why I said, if you become too calculative, then that is, being calculative and being compassionate, they are opposite things.

So, when a guru takes disciples, at that time the guru is very calculative. Then you know, how will the movement grow? So the thing is that all three factors need to be considered. So intent, content and consequence.

We don't want charity to be misused. And that caution has to be taken, that charity should not be misused. But the point is that that should not make us so calculative that we become heartless.

So the act of charity itself is a good act. Sometimes some people's intention is, I want to become famous. I want to have a reputation of being a charitable person.

That can diminish the value of the charity. And sometimes we give charity to causes where we are not aware and that leads to misuse of charity. That's bad.

Overall, we should consider all three things. But in general, the philosophy of karma, if it makes us heartless, uncompassionate, that is not how things should be happening. That is because of misunderstanding or misuse of karma.

Thank you very much.