How to not become agitated in our relationships Hg Chaitanya Charan Prabhuji

Today, we will discuss on the basis of Bhagavad Gita, why conflicts occur and how we can minimize them. So, it's nice to be here, it's a beautiful temple, it's a beautiful temple, it's a beautiful temple, it's a beautiful temple, it's a beautiful temple, it's a beautiful temple, it's a beautiful temple, it's a beautiful temple, it's a beautiful temple, it's a beautiful temple, in a world The world, or at least the environment gets disturbed. If there is a fight between two people, or if there is a fight between a husband and a wife, then the environment of the whole house gets tense.

If there is a fight between two devotees, then everyone has to be very patient. I will say this, he will get angry about this, I will say something good about this, I will say something bad about this. So everyone has to be patient.

So what is being said here is that the nature of this world is such that we disturb each other. And this is not like, we can see why it gets disturbed, we can discuss it later. But what is it? The different clashes that take place, the adhibhautic clashes, they trouble us a lot.

For example, if there is a flood, or a storm, then what will happen? It will come naturally, we will bear it. If someone falls ill, then we, it is sad, but we bear it. If we see, these three clashes, out of them, the spiritual, or the adhidaivic, which is, in reality, they are tolerable.

It is not so difficult to bear. It is difficult, but what can we do? If someone falls ill, or the environment is too hot, or there is an earthquake, what can we do? We have to bear it. But what happens is, the adhibhautic, that, it seems very difficult to bear.

Why? What happens in this? It seems, why is this person doing this? Is he not intelligent? Why is he troubling me so much? If he does not do this, my life will become so easy. So, that is why, we feel, why are these two things tolerable? Because we feel, they are uncontrollable. What can we do about it? It is like that.

But what do we feel? To some extent, is it controllable for me, or is it controllable for that person? He will make a small change. If he makes a small change, then what will happen? That person will not trouble me like this. So, that is why, what God is telling here, that there are two things, which are dear to such devotees.

The first is, because of which, other people are not disturbed. And, the people who are not disturbed because of others. And then, there are some typical disturbances.

What is the meaning of Harsha? Anand, to be very happy. When is the jubilation? When, especially in relationships, the person does acts according to our expectations. If I say something, he does exactly as I say.

He is a good person. If we are an authority, or a subordinate, he is a very reliable person. Or if we are a subordinate, and our authority shows us a lot of love, and appreciates us, then what happens? There is a jubilation.

Then what is Amarsha? Amarsha means, it is interesting, God is telling us that this is also an agitation. This Arsha-marsha-bhaya-dvegair-mukto. Amarsha means, the complete opposite to our expectations.

When we get distracted by this, we say, how did this person do this? I did so much service, and this person did not even notice this service. I thought, if he appreciates me publicly, he will praise me. How can he do this? Or it is possible that I asked him to serve me, and he did not even serve me.

He did not even serve me, and why did he not serve me? He did not even give me an explanation, or an apology. He is acting as if he has not done anything wrong. Then we get distracted.

Arsha-marsha-bhaya-dvegair-mukto. When do we get scared? When we feel that, in relationships, when I feel that no one will understand me. What am I doing? No one is understanding me.

The biggest thing is loneliness. It is not that we are physically alone. When we are surrounded by such people, no one is understanding us.

We feel that we cannot trust anyone. No one is understanding us. If I say a word here, everyone will misunderstand me.

So, what happens? We get very scared of that. Arsha-marsha-bhaya-dvegair-mukto. And lastly, there is Udveg.

Udveg can come for many reasons. But generally, what happens is Udveg is the mismatch between expectation and reality. The distance between truth and expectation, we get Udveg from that.

So, let's say there is a rumor that there is a big feast today. And we go to the kitchen for Prasadam Hall and say that there is a surprise fasting today. There is a fast today.

They say, what nonsense is this? We went there expecting that there will be a feast today. And they say, do fasting today. So, what happens is, the distance between our expectation and reality, we get agitated.

So, God is telling us that if we get free from these four things, Harsham-arsha-bhaya-dvegair-mukto, and if someone can do this, then Yaha-sa-cha-me-priya-ha. Such a person is dear to me. Cha-me-priya-ha.

So, God is describing such devotees who are dear to Him. So, let's repeat this now. Yasmanodvijate loko Lokanno-dvijate chaya-ha Harsham-arsha-bhaya-dvegair-mukto Yaha-sa-cha-me-priya-ha This is an easy shloka.

Let's repeat it together three times. Not responsibly. Together.

Yasmanodvijate loko Lokanno-dvijate chaya-ha Harsham-arsha-bhaya-dvegair-mukto Yaha-sa-cha-me-priya-ha Yasmanodvijate loko Lokanno-dvijate chaya-ha Harsham-arsha-bhaya-dvegair-mukto Yaha-sa-cha-me-priya-ha Yasmanodvijate loko Lokanno-dvijate chaya-ha Harsham-arsha-bhaya-dvegair-mukto Yaha-sa-cha-me-priya-ha Please. In these shlokas, what is God saying? Characteristics. Such qualities, characteristics that endear a devotee to Krishna.

Such qualities that make a devotee a devotee dear to God. We can say that this is a bit strange. That a devotee is dear to God.

That is true. But God also says, Yetha maham prapadyante. So, devotees also have shireni.

But in this, the interesting thing is that God is telling that such devotees are dear to me. But the qualities He is telling are not actually devotional qualities. They are behavioral qualities.

God is not telling that a devotee who comes to Mangala Aarti at 4.30 am, who finishes his japa without eating or drinking anything, who does ekadashi nirjal, or who listens to Bhagavatam class for an hour without sleeping, He is not telling this. Someone who does deity worship everyday. This is important.

But God is not telling this. What is God telling? He is telling behavioral qualities. How is He telling? adveshta sarva bhuta naam maitra karude eva cha He is telling that especially all the qualities it is not so much like if we are here and God is above us.

So, devotional qualities mean how we relate with Krishna. Devotional. And behavioral means how we relate with others.

So, rest of the people, how we are behaving with them, God is giving emphasis on this. It is not that devotional qualities are not important. God has told about them earlier in 9.13-14 satatam kirtayanto mam itantasya dhudhavata or in 4th shloka, He tells in 1st and 2nd shloka iti matva bhajante ma budha bhava samanvita mat chitta mat gata prana it has been told about it.

It is not that devotional qualities are not important. But here, especially God is telling that such a devotee is dear to me who what does he do to me? who has a good behavior. So, many times, Prabhupada ji was asked how do we know your disciples? Can you increase it a little? I am just feeling a little increase.

It is a little cold. Can you increase it a little? Increase it by 2-3. Are you sure? Ok, fine.

So, Prabhupada ji was asked a journalist asked him how do we know your disciples? He said, they are perfect gentlemen and ladies. How do they behave properly? So, we can say that this devotee's behavior is like that and that devotee's behavior is like that and it is not true. So, it happens.

Different devotees can have different mental states. But God is telling two things here that we should not be disturbed by other people's behavior and we should not behave in such a way that we disturb others. So, we can say it is not easy.

So, how can we do this? Especially, whatever God is telling here in that God is emphasizing this type of qualities. And, the whole sequence is mostly related to this. So, now we will see that when Arjuna is in the battlefield Arjuna does not want to fight and God is telling Arjuna to fight.

And when God is telling Arjuna to fight through Bhagavad Gita in the same Bhagavad Gita, God is telling that the one who does not disturb others and the one who is not disturbed by others is very dear to me. So, fighting means disturbing others. So, now this what happens is any sentence is don't disturb others or don't be disturbed by others.

So, what is the meaning of this? What is it? Some people say we can see here we will come back to Arjuna later Some people say that the meaning of propaganda is to disturb others. No, no, no. Everyone is in love.

And to get them out of their love means to disturb them. And some people think that the more people are disturbed by my class the more powerful my class was. Some people think that my class should be complete silence.

What has happened? What has he said? So, the more people get agitated the more they think I am an uncompromising preacher. Some people think that only we should be disturbed and if no one is doing bhakti then that person is not doing bhakti he is in love and we should be disturbed by seeing this. Then we will get a chance to propagate.

We will get the impetus to propagate. We will get the inspiration. We will get the power.

So, if we see we can say that Arjuna is fighting. So, how can we don't disturb or don't be disturbed? How can we reconcile with this? How does it come together? In the same way, if we do preaching then to some extent what happens is we get disturbed. If the word disturbed can have different meanings.

But we can say that when Prabhupada went to America in his old age then why did he go? In a way he was restless that these people are in ignorance they should give me knowledge. If Prabhupada was living a peaceful life then the danger of going to America the inconvenience the uncertainty Prabhupada would not have accepted all that. So, in one sense, be disturbed.

And to some extent when we do preaching people get disturbed. I was in Australia so, our rituals rituals are not understood by westerners. So, I used to come there to give a class.

There is a place called New Goverdhan in Australia. It is on a mountain. Many westerners and Australians come there.

So, the Kirtan was over there and I was waiting to start the lecture. So, there was an Australian middle aged woman of 50-60 years. She said, can I ask you a question? I said, okay.

When you blow that shell why does everyone kiss the floor? So, many times people get disturbed when they see our rituals. So, to some extent preaching means we get disturbed and we disturb. Even though we say that is not our intention but it happens.

So, that is why we can see it from both sides. When God is telling don't be disturbed or don't disturb others. When God is telling what does it mean? So, in reality in a way here the disturbance we have to understand the meaning of that with context.

What is that if we see the beginning of Bhagavad Gita it is so at the end of the first chapter at the beginning of the second chapter Arjuna was disturbed. Arjuna was saying I don't know whether I have to fight or not. And why was he disturbed? He was thinking that the Bhishma and Drona whom I have to worship how can I fire arrows This is absolutely unbearable for me.

For whose happiness I have learnt Dhanur Vidya when we learn something suppose we learn Shastra and with the blessings of our Gurudev we learn Shastra and then a philosophical institutional issue arises and on the basis of our Shastra knowledge we have to argue with our Shikshagurus and Mahadrata. I have learnt Shastra so that I don't have to argue with my Gurus or my Vrishabhakts. What are they telling us to tolerate? Do they mean that these Kauravas have tortured you they have insulted you they have taken away the kingdom of Yudhishthira they have tortured you bear it and don't fight.

Do they mean to be tolerated? No. Tolerate means tolerate Kauravas atrocities this is not it. What is tolerate? It is tolerate the pain of fighting Bhishma you have to fight against Bhishma and Drona so you have to tolerate because it is your duty it is your duty and this is you may have some attachment on the material world but you have to bear it.

So that is why you have to understand what you have to tolerate I was giving a class in Australia and there was a devotee he listens to the class very well and gives good feedback what he liked what he didn't understand what he didn't explain sufficiently so he gives good feedback that day he came and said your class always makes me think a lot but today I got a chance to apply for your class interesting my class was on tolerance so I said why are you tolerating my class so in Judaism there is a saying have your ears heard what your mouth has spoken that what your mouth is saying your ears have heard it so have you thought about tolerating my class he said I was sitting at the back I came a little late and the devotee sitting next to me was talking to someone and I got angry I couldn't listen to the class but I thought I should tolerate it so now if someone is in the middle of the class should he tolerate it what do you think if the class is boring I will tolerate it but what is tolerance what does it mean tolerance everything every virtue has a purpose so what is the purpose of tolerance in our life we need to keep big things big big things should be kept big and small things should be kept small keep small things small and in this first of all we need intelligence which things are big and which are small so now God is telling Arjun that you are a warrior it is your nature to protect you are a born protector and to protect if you have to fight anyone then you should be ready to do that even if he is your guru today you will say I will not fight but tomorrow when Duryodhana will torture and you will say I will tolerate the torture but Duryodhana will torture and when you will hear that if you have taken sanyas if you have left the dharma of being a warrior then you will not be able to do anything so that is why what is the big thing for you what is the big thing to follow the dharma of being a warrior what is the small thing that whom you have to fight now the meaning of tolerance is that we have to understand these two things which thing is big and to keep it big just like there is a class so now it is not like if someone is talking on the phone in the middle of the class so it is not like you have to shout at him now what happens if someone is talking in the class and in the class someone's phone is not switched off his phone is switched off or something like this so what happens if that person is allowed to do the same so what is the big thing we all have come to listen to the class we all are trying to understand what is being told in the class and if we don't then it is not tolerance it will become impotence it will become powerlessness our whole time will be wasted if we have come to listen to the class so what is the big thing we have to listen to the class what is the small thing that this person is talking on the phone so we can do different things if we are in the authority position we can say don't talk on the phone in the class if you want you can go out and talk maybe you shouldn't but you can or you can go somewhere else but let's say there is a speaker and someone is talking on the phone in the class and that speaker starts shouting and for 10 minutes he keeps shouting and after that that speaker tells the class that we should be tolerant so what will happen people will be so disturbed by the behavior of that speaker that they won't be able to listen to what he is saying your actions speak so loudly that I can't hear your words your actions speak so loudly so even if you scold someone they have made a mistake but scolding them if we make it such a big thing then our attention will not be in the class and even if we have attention the audience will not have it so that's why keep big things big keep small things small if someone's phone is ringing you can tell them to keep their phone on silent if they want to talk you can go out and talk we should speak if we don't speak there can be two extremes in tolerance one is we make small things big this leads to intolerance what is the need to make such a small thing so big but what is the second if we make a big thing small this leads to impotence impotence means we say potency Kshatriyas have potency Bhagwan is omnipotent so we have to avoid both so in between there is tolerance so tolerance sometimes some people consider it as impotence but this is not impotence now what is when Prabhupada ji I am coming from Kolkata in Kolkata in Uttaranga Junction I went there yesterday there was a lecture there Bhakti Sahaj Dacoit had made such a mess there were so many students and it was a big organization 64 branches is not a small thing but due to impotence whatever happened the whole movement got scattered so now what did Prabhupada ji try Prabhupada ji never had a separate intention that when he went to America I am going to start a new organization Prabhupada ji was thinking that my Guruji has given an order I have to follow it so in one sense Prabhupada ji was thinking that Gaudiya Math is moving forward it is not that Prabhupada ji had a plan that I am going to start a separate organization but what happened the leaders of Gaudiya Math for whatever reason they were not moving forward neither were they supporting Prabhupada ji Prabhupada ji had a dream that Guruji came in his dream and told him and he asked his Guruji and Guruji said where did this idea of Sanyas come from what is your track record you have been a householder till now first come and stay in an ashram stay in an ashram for 5-7 years we will see your behavior and after seeing your behavior if senior devotees are satisfied then we can think of giving you Sanyas so now it will look good from the perspective of their ashram some householder says he is not coming to the ashram give me Sanyas so it was good from their perspective but though Prabhupada ji was a householder but still he had a dedication he had started the whole League of Devotees he had run Back to Godhead so then Prabhupada ji said I cannot do this I do not have time he was already above 60 so he went to his poor Guruji and told him when he was going to America he did not get any financial support he did not get any financial help he did not get any followers he did not get any help when Prabhupada ji saw a place in America to build a temple he told his Guruji I have found a donor in India but it is not easy to get a donor in a foreign exchange so please go to Delhi and talk to the President of India so his Guruji told him that your mission is not bona fide that your mission is not bona fide we will not help you in this so his thought was that we we are running the Gaudiya Math we had the support of Bakhtasan Thakur so without our authorization now Prabhupada ji had taken a lot of blessings from his Guruji but he did not cooperate he said that you cannot use the name Gaudiya Math so Prabhupada ji decided that I do not want to get involved in all this so he started the ISKCON organization and he was also thinking that the ISKCON governing body that he was going to make he wanted to keep all his Gurubhai's but unfortunately that did not happen but my point was that Prabhupada ji he did not if his Gurubhai had told him that you cannot get Sanyas then he would have listened to that and would not have been able to do anything so he took him to Sanyas and that is why Sanyasis get a little respect but Prabhupada ji had to promote and the big thing for him was that I have to follow my Gurudev's orders my Gurudev has given me an order and I have to follow it and for that if I do not get any institutional support then it is fine but I accept it as a small thing keep it small and the big thing is that he tried to encourage his Gurubhai's he tried to encourage them to promote them but they thought that he is a new devotee and Prabhupada ji was a new devotee because Prabhupada ji mostly lived as a householder he never stayed in an ashram so he did not pay much attention to Prabhupada ji because Prabhupada ji said I do not want to get involved in this so he did not disturb his Gurubhai's that you are not doing this you are not helping me but at the same time he did not get disturbed he did not say I am trying to promote this is our Gurudev's message why are you not helping me if you are not helping there is a chapter in the second volume where Prabhupada ji says to his Gurubhai it will not be possible to help you actually his Gurubhai does not say this because his Gurubhai does not even respond to his letters mostly he tells his secretary that you respond and this is also a matter of etiquette that if Prabhupada ji used to write letters his disciples used to write and Prabhupada ji used to sign this is seen by me and some Prabhupada ji himself used to dictate so now if your Gurubhai is writing something to you and he tells his secretary to talk to him that itself is disrespectful so Prabhupada ji did not get disturbed that this is not happening so he did not go against his God brothers or he did not even complain to them so from Arjun's point of view when God is saying people should not be humiliated so what does this mean that in that context that now when the Pandavas came back from exile so what happened from one point of view they felt that their cause their cause, their aim was noble they were tortured their kingdom was taken away their wife was raped but still when they came back they saw that most of the kings were not ready to make peace with them it was not like that the 11 Akshahuni who were on Kauravas' side they were all bad it was not like that they were all demons what happened was when the Pandavas went to the jungle they were cut off from the world and at that time what did Duryodhana do Duryodhana started telling his own story to everyone it happened like this he said like this he said like that so what happens is just because our cause is right does not mean that everybody will think that our cause is right even if our aim is right it does not mean that everyone will think that my aim is right so what happened was the Pandavas especially in the last year they had to stay in exile anyway they were in exile then they were in exile so what happened was all the kings many kings Duryodhana made them on his side so the Pandavas knew that Bhishma Drona if there is a war he will not come on our side but seeing this how many people came against us that people should not be defeated people should not be defeated that they should not win because if you expect that your cause is right so that is why people should support you but this does not happen in the world sometimes we want to do something but people do not support it and the second thing that they are telling is now like I told you we cannot live like this that we do not want to disturb anyone so someone sent me that if you want to please everyone don't be a leader be a free distributor of ice cream if you want to make everyone happy then distribute ice cream to everyone do not even try because if you want then sometimes hard decisions you have to do if you want to be a parent if you want to be a parent then it is not possible that you can always make the child happy so if we say that no one should be disturbed by me this is not right but what is written here that no unnecessary agitation that more than the need to disturb anyone like if someone is using phone in class so now he does not need to give a long lecture he has done wrong tell him to keep the phone silent or go out and talk he may feel worse than that why did you tell me like this but what is that much disturbance is important so basically in this in a way we have our service we have our dharma and we should not get disturbed by our dharma that we get disturbed by others that we by our dharma or we forget our dharma and we start others so we have to avoid and when we understand there will always be people who will be displeased with us we cannot satisfy everyone but when we in our dharma in our duty we are focused so slowly people that this person is not to disturb me okay this is his priority this is his wish so how can we this disturbance so first I am talking three different parts first I told you how to not disturb so now next point that we should not disturb or be disturbed so how can happen the differences this is necessary in this world whatever we are doing So, in one sense, they can be at three levels, or let us put it this way. They can be at three levels. One is at the level of actions, at the level of what needs to be done.

There can be differences at that level. The second is at the level of analysis, or at the level of intelligence. I will explain what I mean by this.

And the third is at the level of intention. At the level of action. At the level of intention.

Let us say, at the level of action, we say that we will make Jalebi for this festival. Someone else says we will make Basundi. So, what happens now is, both have their own decisions.

Both want to make different decisions. Now, there is no question of intellectual knowledge in this. Philosophically, it is right to make Basundi, and it is not right to make Jalebi.

This is fine. People can have different opinions. People can have different opinions.

People may have their likes, dislikes. People may have their… This happens at the level of preference. Preference means everyone likes what they like.

Now, we are building a centre at a new place. Someone will say, first we will do congregation preaching, so that people will come and we will get funds. Someone will say, first we will do youth preaching, so that devotees will come, so that Brahmacharis will come.

This will make the temple strong, and then the congregation will come. Who is right? This is not a matter of principle. Different people can do different things.

Now, if you go to the Middle East, I am going to Oman in 10-15 days, there are no Brahmacharis there. There are only congregations. There are no temples there.

All people have their own programs at home. Now, without any Brahmachari, without any temple, without any DTs, there is a lot of preaching going on. I said, there are no DTs, no temple, no Brahmachari, how is there going to be preaching? But there is preaching going on there.

So, like Ganga, Vaughan, Mudanvati, Ganga always goes towards the sea, so the devotees keep searching for a way to go ahead. So, there is preaching going on. But the point is, some things are okay in a way, this is your opinion, this is what you want to do, okay.

Sometimes, when it comes to analysis, that okay, why are you thinking like this? So, here, basically, we understand that person's thoughts, although, we don't agree with his conclusion. It's like, okay, I understand where you are coming from. I don't agree with it, but I understand.

This is a different thing. Why are you thinking like this? So, if you are saying that, first, if we are constructing a temple, so, first, we will make a temple hall. So, if people come from there, will there be DTs and satsang? This is what one person says.

So, people will say that the temple is over, after that, no one will give funds to anyone. So, we should construct the temple later. First, construct everything else.

So, now, so, now, some people say that we should not have much problem in fundraising. This person says that we have to promote. So, I understand why you think like this.

I don't agree with you. So, what is here? It's intelligible. At least, you are intelligent, you are working, you are using your intelligence, but I don't agree with the conclusion.

How does it happen? And it can happen like this. Because different people have different ideas, their priorities can be different. So, there is no problem in this.

But, if we consider someone's intention to be bad, then it becomes unacceptable. If, someone says that we should make a guest room first. Why? If we make a guest room, people will come, people will come, people will come.

If we start thinking, we feel that you have to live comfortably first. And, you will make a guest room, you will live in a good guest room. And, if we think like this, then what happens? We are questioning the purpose of that person.

And, when we start questioning the intention, then what happens? That relationship, it becomes very difficult to maintain that relationship. As long as we feel that we have all come here to serve Prabhupadaji, to serve Krishna, but different people have different ideas on how to serve. That is fine.

But, if we feel that this person wants his own comfort, his own name and wealth. In reality, he is not interested in serving God. When we start thinking like this, then it becomes very difficult to maintain trust on that person, to maintain a good relationship with that person.

So, as far as possible, we want to avoid assuming that people's intentions are bad. We have to think like this, when a person discriminates against us, when he goes away from us, when he takes a decision, then what happens is, when he takes such a decision, when he wants to do something different, we have to think that this person is insincere. This person, this person is absolutely lazy.

He does not want to work hard. In the name of devotion, he does not want to live a comfortable life. When we question someone's intentions, then that relationship has gone to the point of no return.

It becomes very difficult to save that relationship. Do you know rolling your eyes? Rolling your eyes means that when someone says something, we do not believe it. We say that this person is talking nonsense.

When we do not believe what somebody is saying, we do not take something seriously. So, he keeps on talking like this. If someone is saying something, we say that this person is crazy.

So, if someone is talking like this, what will happen is, he does not have any respect for that person, he does not have any faith in his intellect, he does not have faith in us. If someone starts thinking like this about that person, sometimes there can be misjudgment. And sometimes a person gives a contract for construction and that person is not responsible.

That person is dishonest. So, the money gets wasted. So, what is this? This is misjudgment.

Maybe I should not be handling money so much. But we can say that a person does misjudgment, but still, that person is not an ill-motivated person. Sometimes a person's intellect can be low in some direction.

But this does not mean that the person's intention was bad. So, here, what happens here is, you made a decision, I think that decision is a misjudgment. It is possible.

But what happens here is, this is a kind of ill-motivation. And as they say, the duplicity, if it comes, then we have to avoid it. If it comes, then the relationship gets very bad.

So, I will give two examples of this. What happens if we do it this way? If we do not do it this way, how can we maintain Vaishno Shishtacharya? So, now, if we listen to Mahabharata, in Mahabharata, there are many kinds of unrighteousness. So, the biggest unrighteousness that happens in Mahabharata's war is, in Mahabharata's war, by Ashwatthama.

What does he do? He kills Pandavas, he kills Pandavas, he kills Pandavas' children and all their army, he kills them while they are sleeping. And now, if we look at it, before this, in the entire Mahabharata, Ashwatthama was not considered as a bad person. When Draupadi is kidnapped, as far as I know, Ashwatthama is not there.

Even if he is there, Ashwatthama does not support him. He is not described in the Mahabharata. So, before that, Ashwatthama has not done anything bad directly.

It is not that he has not done it, but directly, why does he do such unrighteous things? So, what happens is, in the fifteenth day, in the fifteenth day, there is a very dangerous incident. What happens is, many people start getting frustrated with each other. Drona gets frustrated.

Why? Because Drona had promised that he will capture Yudhishthira. He had promised Duryodhana. When he makes him the commander of the army, Drona thinks that when Bhishma falls, Karna will become the commander of the army.

But Karna himself says, Drona is older than me, make him the commander of the army. So, Drona gets happy with this. Drona says, what do you want? Duryodhana says, capture Yudhishthira and bring him to me.

So, on the eleventh day, on the twelfth day, he tries for two days, but he is not able to capture Yudhishthira. Arjuna comes at the last moment, and Arjuna saves him. So, on the thirteenth day, when he makes the Chakra, it is made to capture Yudhishthira.

So, Abhimanyu is captured. But what happens on the fourteenth day? It is a day of humiliation for Drona. The thing is, he was not able to stop a single warrior from the entire army.

What does that mean? For example, if there is a football match, all the eleven players should not go to that player. That is their entire plan. That he is a dangerous player, he will not go to that player.

And, none of the eleven players are able to take the ball from him. So, what happens in front of everyone, even in front of Drona, Arjuna kills Jaidrath. So, Duryodhana is very angry with Drona.

He keeps telling Drona, that you are doing partiality. You are not fighting with honesty. So, what happens is, where is Drona going directly? Intelligence or intention? Intention.

So, what happens is, yes, Drona loves the Pandavas, but a warrior has a principle, that whichever side he fights, he fights with full loyalty, with full strength. So, Drona cannot tolerate that. And, what is the reason for that? On that day, when he starts fighting with the Pandavas, then he starts using divine weapons against ordinary warriors.

It is like using nuclear weapons in an ordinary war. Now, two big wars are going on, Russia and Ukraine, Israel and Palestine. But, till now, no one has used nuclear weapons.

At least that much Satva has been there. Till now, it has been there. But, no, it is not a joke, it is very serious actually.

If someone uses it, then, we have enough nuclear weapons to destroy all life on the earth, 125 times. 125 times, the number of people, we can destroy all of them. So, if nuclear weapons go from here to there, then, there will be only one species left in the world, cockroaches.

Cockroaches have such skin, that they cannot do anything with nuclear weapons. Something like that. Rest of the people, all the living beings will die.

Not only humans. So, to some extent, Satva is there. But, suppose, if a king of a country, starts using nuclear weapons, if you know that he is going to do it, then, he will say, whatever happens, assassinate him now.

He should be stopped. So, when he starts using nuclear weapons, then only, Pandavas, Krishna Pandavas tell him, that you should stop him now. And that is why, he tells Yudhishthira, that you will have to tell now, that Ashwathama is dead.

So, now, the plan is, Arjuna's plan is, that when the nuclear weapons will be destroyed, then, we will arrest them. Because, they do not want to kill Drona. But, when Drona is destroyed, when he puts his bow down, and he sits in meditation, then, while fighting with him, he gets very close to Dhrishtadyumna.

Now, Dhrishtadyumna, he also gets very frustrated. Why? Dhrishtadyumna said, the purpose of birth was to kill Drona. His father had taken a vow, that his son will kill Drona.

And, in the whole 15 days of war, he was not able to come close to killing Drona even once. Because, Drona's power was more than this. Dhrishtadyumna said, this is my destiny, but why am I not able to fulfill it? And, what happened on the 15th day? In front of Drona's eyes, Drona killed his father.

On that 15th day, Drona killed Drupad. Because of this, Dhrishtadyumna got very frustrated. And, as soon as Drona sat down, he immediately picked up his sword and started running towards Drona.

And, when he saw this, from both sides, the warrior shouted, stop, this is horrible, this is immoral, you cannot do this. Arjun also shouted. But, Dhrishtadyumna got so angry, that before doing anything, he cut Drona's head.

And, when this happens, Arjun got so angry, Arjun took his sword and went to Drona to kill him. And, then Bheem had to intervene. And, then they stopped him.

And, then they started fighting. So, what was this? Here, killing Drona was wrong. But, it is, there is a difference here.

Drona's death, Drona's death, it was a hot-headed, in anger, it was a hot-headed individual action. It was not a cold-blooded collective plan. What was the collective plan? To stop him.

To kill him in that way, this was not the plan. Now, this difference is important. Now, what happens is, when Drona dies, all the warriors on the Kauravas' side get scared.

Now, their commander is dead. So, everyone starts running from there. And, when they were leaving, Ashwathama comes in the other direction.

Ashwathama was injured that day. And, then he went back for some treatment. And, when he comes back, he cures his wounds with some mantras.

So, he asks, why are you running? And, then Duryodhana tells him that those Pandavas made a conspiracy to kill your father when he had left the war. So, now, Ashwathama gets so angry. Now, he feels that at least Arjuna should have stopped this.

My father used to love Arjuna so much. And, he used to scold him a lot. He used to say that he is my father, but he loves Arjuna more than me.

And, still, he was a little jealous. But, still, he knew that Arjuna is a better archer than me. He is a better disciple than me.

And, sometimes, we feel that he is better than us. But, still, if we see that actually, this person is hardworking. He is talented.

I give classes. Someone else gives better classes than me. Maybe, I feel that I give the best classes.

But, if I see that actually, he gives good points, delivers well, inspires people. So, there is a grudging acknowledgement that this person is a good person. But, only when he feels that Arjuna made this conspiracy to kill his own Guru so mercilessly.

Then, he feels that if Arjuna has done this to his Guru, when his Guru was unconscious, then only he killed him. So, when he is unconscious, then only I will kill him. So, what does he do? He thinks that he is sleeping, so, it is not wrong to kill him.

But, only he should be killed. So, he kills everyone. So, what he did was terrible.

if we look at Ashwathama's thinking, there is a logic for it. It is a tragic logic. But, there is a logic for it.

So, what is the mistake in this? At that time, he could have asked Arjuna once, that he was your Guru. Your Guru loved you so much. Your Guru loved you so much.

How could you kill him so mercilessly? He could have asked Arjuna once. But, he never asks Arjuna. And, what does he do? He accepts the story told by Duryodhana.

And, because of that, he himself does such a destructive deed. So, what happens there? Here, I am saying, he assumes. You know, the action was wrong.

What happened was wrong. It is not that the way he killed Drona was right. It was wrong.

But, the intention there, was it wrong? No. Now, no one tells Ashwathama that your father actually used divine weapons against ordinary people. Actually, he himself does the same.

He himself uses Brahmastra later. Even if he does not know how to take back Brahmastra. But, what happens here is, when we hear something about someone, many times, why is that person telling this? Is that person telling the truth or wrong? What happens is, in any incident, there is one side of the story and then what happens? There is the other side of the story.

And then, there is the story. Because, there is no complete story from both the sides. What happens from both the sides is, you say this, you say that, and then it is not that easy to find out what is right.

It takes time for that. So, when we consider someone else's intention to be wrong, then what happens is, we get very disturbed. How can this person do this? And then, what we do, we also get disturbed.

Can someone else's intention be wrong? Yes, it can be. But, assume it directly. When someone does something, which we do not understand, we get very angry when we hear about it.

When we see it or when we hear about it. But, why did that happen? As long as we do not understand, we assume that this person did this, then it can be very bad. Opposite to this, we can see one more intention.

When Prabhupada ji came to India from America, then what happened was, in a way, this is the order of our Gurudev, and this is the mission of Gurudev, and I am fulfilling it. So, he introduced his disciples to his God brothers. For example, the Guru brothers of Prabhupada ji, were his senior God brothers.

He had taken Sanyas with his Gurudev during his youth, and had lived under his guidance. But, what happens is, one of his Guru brothers, he starts telling his disciples, that your Guru, only gives you basic knowledge, he is not telling you anything advanced. You want to know more about Krishna, come to me.

And what he is telling you about Bhakti, he is telling you wrong. This is not right, that is not right. So, what does he do? This is called poaching in English.

What does poaching mean? The way Prabhupada ji has propagated, he tries to snatch away people. So, when Prabhupada ji comes to know about this, he gets very angry. And he says, none of my disciples should associate with him.

No one should associate with that Guru brother. And he says, he is like an envious snake. Now, to talk about your Guru brother like this, he is like an envious snake.

So, this is what Prabhupada ji says. But, what happens after that is, the Guru brother gets sick, he passes away. So, then some disciples come to Prabhupada ji and say, Prabhupada ji, what has happened to him now? So, sometimes what happens is, those whom we consider bad, they go to hell, when we hear about them, we feel very happy.

So, Prabhupada ji gets very angry. Prabhupada ji says, he went back to Godhead. He went to Bhagwat Dham.

My Guru Maharaj is very powerful. And he served my Guru Maharaj all his life. So, now see, at one place he said that he is an envious snake.

And he says that he served his Guru Maharaj all his life. So, how can we understand these two statements? One was that, when Prabhupada ji is here, and his disciples are here, then they have a relationship that he is the protector of his disciples. So, his disciples… Prabhupada ji says that you will go to my Guru Maharaj, he will tell you something, and then he will tell you something else, then you will get confused.

And due to confusion, you can get ruined. So, to protect this, Prabhupada ji can say very strong statements. That is why he used to say that, if he has a Godbrother, even if he has a senior Godbrother, there he used to say that, don't associate with him.

But, because of this, Prabhupada ji, it is not that he had become blind, that his service was with his Guru, but in the same way, he was also serving his Guru. So, it is not that Prabhupada ji said that, this is nothing, this has no value. This is not what Prabhupada ji said.

He said that, this is fine, even if he has not treated me properly, he has disturbed my service, so I will stop that. But, this does not mean that, he has not served my Guru, I will not see that. So, what is it? यस्मानोद्विजते लोको, लोकानोद्विजते जया.

He was not disturbing his service, through others. But, this does not mean that, he went on a mission, to destroy his Guru. Guru bhai, he is not a Guru bhai, he is not a devotee, he is a fraud.

No. The way he is working, he is not suitable for my service. That is why, I will bring some boundaries there.

But, it is not that, he is disturbing my service, it does not mean that, he is a bad person. It does not mean that, whatever service he has done, it is just a show, a fraud. It is not like that.

So, keep big things big, keep small things small. When he has to take care of his disciples, then what is the big thing? That the disciple should not be misled. What is the small thing? My relationship with this devotee cannot be so good.

Ok, it is fine. But, when his life ends, then what happens is, there is a simple materialistic culture, that you do not speak bad about a dead person. If a person has died, then you should not speak bad about him.

On top of that, if he has served God, then at that time, he has served his Guru for his entire life. He may have made some mistakes, but he has served his Guru for his entire life. That is a big thing.

And the way he has behaved with me, that is a small thing. So, which thing is small, which thing is big, that can be different in different contexts. So, for this, we need intelligence.

We need intelligence. In the 10th chapter of Prabhupada, in the 4th, 5th and 6th shlokas of the 10th chapter, what does intelligence mean? Intelligence means to see things in their proper perspective. Proper perspective.

What does this mean? Which thing is big, and which thing is small. Understanding this is the sign of intelligence. For example, if there is a visiting preacher here, and someone turns on someone's phone, then he will gently say, go out for a while.

But if there is a regular preacher here, and someone runs away, his phone rings in every class. So, in every class, he is repeating the same mistake. So, maybe the local preacher here will scold him, that you should not do this every time.

So, maybe, if someone has a responsibility, that he has to give a class here, then disturbing a preacher is a small thing. But if someone has a responsibility, that he is a counsellor, and he is repeating the same mistake. So, maybe he should not make that mistake, that scolding will become a big thing.

So, maybe he will have to scold him more. He cannot simply say, go out. So, we need to understand with our intelligence, according to our service, according to our role, which is big and which is small.

According to that, we will not disturb others, we will not disturb unnecessarily, and we will not get disturbed unnecessarily by others. We are in the Krishna Bhavananda movement, this movement is worldwide, different things are happening at different places, here and there, if we get disturbed by that, then we will always be disturbed. But if we can do something right in the service we are doing, and if we do not do it right, then that will not work.

Suppose, if I have come here for the first time, and there is a devotee in the guest reception, I say, I am feeling very cold here, in the room, and he says, Prabhu, what to do, the place is very cold. He says, the place is very cold. So, I think, the place is very cold, but this room is very cold for me.

So, he is in our control now, and we should fix that. But, if we are going by train, the train stops there, and there is an accident, and we have to stop, then we say, whatever is not in our control, we have to tolerate that. But whatever we can fix, we have to fix that.

And in this way, we can keep small things small, and keep big things big. So, in summary, overall, our topic was, how to not be agitated. How we in our relationships, how we should not be agitated in our relationships.

We were discussing about this. So, on the basis of 12.15, we were discussing how usually, in interactions, there is always disturbance. I disturb you, you disturb me.

And in this way, we disturb the whole environment. But if we do not want to do this, if we see, if we say, don't disturb, then in that, what is the intention of God? That our devotion, the sign of devotion is not only how we behave with God, but how we behave with each other. These are our devotional qualities, and these are our behavioral qualities.

So, these are also important. So, now, in this behavioral quality, we will see tolerance. The tolerance, which means not to be disturbed, can have two wrong meanings.

One is that we make small things bigger. What will happen with that? We will become intolerant. And the second is we make big things smaller.

So, what will happen with that? We will become impotent. We will become powerless. We will not be able to take any responsibility.

So, what is the meaning of tolerance? That we make big things bigger and we make small things smaller. So, if we can do both, through that, the avoidable disturbance In some places, it is necessary to disturb, but we can avoid the avoidable disturbance. And how can we avoid the avoidable disturbance? As I said, don't jump to conclusions.

Don't jump to conclusions about intentions. If a person does something that disturbs us, then differences are necessary in this world. But differences can be at the level of actions.

He did this, I don't do this, someone else does this. So, it can be at the level of intelligence that this is the person's priority. My priority used to be different.

But we can understand why he did this. At the level of intelligence, it is understandable even if it is not agreeable or acceptable. I don't do this, but I understand why I do this.

But when we go to the level of someone's intention, then what happens? Only then it becomes unacceptable. And when we think that his intention is bad, then I am ready to do anything to stop him. So, we saw two examples of this.

The negative example was Ashwatthama. How Ashwatthama believed in God. And because of this, he thought that my father was not conscious, so I will kill him when he is not conscious.

And how did he see the positive example? Prabhupada and his guru. When he interrupted Prabhupada said strong statements to save his disciples. But this did not make him blind No.

What he has done here is wrong. I will not let this happen. But this does not mean that that person is so bad that his whole life's service is in vain.

So, when is something important, when is something big, when is something small, we need to understand this intelligently. So, the disturbance that is going to happen in this world, but we will not disturb each other Thank you very much. Hare Krishna.

Do we have time for questions? Does anyone have a question? Thank you, Bhajji. You have told us about tolerance. So, there is a point here that we should have the intelligence to understand what is big and what is small.

So, as a conditioned soul, how can we have this intelligence to understand big things as big and small things as small? So, where does intelligence come from? In a way, it comes from association. The type of devotees we associate with, what happens with association is that it is essentially a transfer of desires. If we do youth preaching among such devotees, then what happens? Youth preaching is very important.

We associate such devotees for whom fundraising is very important. We want to build a temple, we want to do this, we want to do that. So, fundraising is very important.

So, many times, our association decides what is big and what is small. Because we have to serve the community in which we are living. But along with that, our inclination is that some people like to study scriptures.

So, they are told to memorize this shloka, to understand this, to explain this to children. That is their important service. That is someone's Brahmin effort.

It is not that all devotees will have a Brahmin effort in the form of service. But some people want to do some management, some people want to do fundraising. So, what is our own inclination? According to that, we decide what will be big for us.

If some devotees do not get time to study the scriptures, then they feel bad that they are not getting time to study the scriptures. But it is okay, they have more time for service now. They will study later.

Some people come and say that they do not get time to study the scriptures. They get very angry. They say that they feel like they are not getting oxygen.

But sometimes, they do not feel like that. Everyone should study the scriptures. But everyone has their own nature.

Some get enrichment from different things. Some devotees get enrichment from the scriptures. Everyone has to nourish their intellect.

But what is big for us, it is according to our inclination. And the third is our responsibility. What is our duty at that time? So, I like to use the acronym AIR for this.

if suppose if it is our responsibility to do a particular service, that it is our responsibility to keep the temple clean. And if it is not clean, then some other devotee will see that it does not look good. But those who are responsible will say that it does not look good.

If it does not look good, then you do something, it is your responsibility. So, what is our responsibility, we have to take it seriously. If we do not take it seriously, then that is being irresponsible.

So, if we take up some responsibility, if we take up some responsibility, then we should make it bigger than what is expected from that responsibility. Now, in California, they made a rule. They made it and then disbanded it.

What was the rule? Many times, in America, there are many single parents, single mothers. What happens is, men do not get married, or even if they get married, they leave the child and get divorced. And there are many rules for the physical safety of children.

So, if someone is driving a car, then he cannot sit the child in front of the car because if he crashes, then the child's body will be very weak. So, they keep the child in the back seat. And if it is a small child, then the child is kept upside down in the back seat.

What happens then? Even if the child crashes, the back seat remains firm. So, this is done for the safety. But many times, the mother, sometimes the father too, goes to a shopping mall and forgets that the child is behind.

So, what they did was, they said, we will put a sensor in all the cars, that if the car's door closes, and in the back seat, which is called the baby seat, if there is someone in the baby seat and no one in the front seat, then the car's alarm will start ringing loudly. So, what happens then? If the parents come back, then the rest of the people will see that the car is broken and will save the child. Then, a critic said, if people forget their children, then they should not have children.

If you are becoming a parent, how can you forget that you have a child? So, if you are taking responsibility, then it is important to be responsible. Some people do this, but for them, it is irresponsible to pay extra money and put a sensor in everyone's car and put an alarm system in everyone's car. What is this? It is irresponsible.

But for some people, it is irresponsible for everyone. The point is, if we are going to take responsibility, then we need to take it seriously. So, that is what a sense of responsibility means.

So, what will be a big thing for us? Our association, inclination, and responsibility. If a person goes to the level of intention, that his intention is wrong, or if a person wants to harm me, otherwise, why is he not able to understand me? So, that is the general tendency of mind. Why does the mind go to the extreme? That is the extreme case, that his intention is wrong.

One question is that, and how can we stop the mind to take steps, like these three steps, that first we understand at the level of action and intelligence, and then, if it is really like that, then we go to the extreme level to understand things. So, why does our mind go to the extreme? That his intention is wrong. How is it? It is the conclusion that requires the least hard work from us.

That our mind is lazy. So, if this person says that it is wrong, then what happens? I do not need to work hard. I do not need to work hard.

If someone is doing a good service, then he is doing it in a different way. He is doing a deviation. So, why is he doing like this? In what situation is he doing it? To understand people, he has to work hard.

Actually, it is not easy. If someone wants to understand, what he is saying, why he is saying, what he is doing, sometimes people take 5 minutes, sometimes 30 minutes to understand. So, for that, impatience is required.

That is why, in a way, it is our shortcut. It is not easy in the long run, because our relationship with that person is going to be completely ruined. But, it does not require hard work.

That is why, our mind takes the shortcut. That is one thing. How can we avoid it? In some ways, it is good that we look at our previous experiences.

Or, if someone has done this to us, and we are doing something for a specific purpose, and some other relationship takes it away. So, when this has happened to us, how do we feel? Or, if we have done this to someone, then how did we feel when we came to know about it? Once, I was in Radha Gopinath Temple. I was in a class there.

It was a spiritual class. Many people were asking questions. I was talking to them.

After that, I went to the kitchen for prasad. I saw that the prasad was mostly over. There was a sweet there.

That sweet was over. I was taking prasad there. There was a senior devotee sitting there.

He saw that there was a sweet on his plate. His plate was over. He ate it.

Then, he started asking all the servers, is it sweet? Is it sweet? The first person asked, is it sweet? The second person asked, is it sweet? The third person asked, is it sweet? I said, what is this? You have already got one plate. You are so shameless. So, later, I did not say it like that, but later, there was a server, who used to make his own plate first.

The server was bringing his own plate. He was giving the sweet to him. I said, what is this? There is no control over the senses.

He is taking the second helping. He is taking the first helping of the other person. When he was serving the sweet, he said, not me, give it to him.

He did not get the sweet. He pointed at me. So, he asked, is it sweet? I was sitting in the other corner of the room.

He did not tell me anything. I thought, if he does not bring the sweet there, then I would not even know why he is asking for the sweet. So, I can say that my inference was logical.

If someone is asking for the sweet, he is asking for himself. But, the truth was completely opposite. So, many times, they say, the most dangerous jumping is jumping to conclusions.

Some people do bungee jumping from mountains. It is dangerous. But, when we jump to conclusions, it is very dangerous.

So, we can look at our own experience and learn to just pause a little bit. Let me find out a little bit more about this. Please just follow up.

If we misunderstood someone and he misunderstood us and because of that, our relationship has deteriorated, how can we make it up for that? If that has happened? I do not know. See, we can try. But, unless there is some readiness from the other side, we cannot do much.

So, it also depends on how important our relationship is. So, we can do some overtures. Maybe we can give them some gifts, give some clarification.

We can serve them. But, sometimes, some people are not ready. Once, I was doing a mediation between two devotees.

The first devotee was very polite. The second one said, I know you are very angry with me. I know you are very angry with me.

The second one said, No, I am not angry with you. Anger is an expensive emotion. And, I have concluded you are not worth the expense.

Anger is a very expensive emotion. And, you are not worth that price. You are not worth that price.

So, if someone is going to speak like this, how can anyone resolve it? So, at that time, you should go your own way. We can mentally ask forgiveness. We can mentally pray to Krishna.

But, sometimes, if we are trying from one side and not from the other side, then we cannot do anything. I was talking to a disciple of Prabhupada. He said, There are three things Prabhupada could not show us.

One is, how to guide householders with teenage children. Because, there were no householders at that time. Prabhupadaji was only 11-12 years old.

The second is, how to guide senior devotees. If someone has been in the organization for 20-30 years, how to guide them? So, Prabhupadaji showed me a letter. Prabhupadaji was writing a letter in 1975.

Now that you are a senior man, I cannot give you instructions. I can only give you suggestions. Prabhupadaji was telling his disciple, I cannot give you instructions.

I can only give you suggestions. And the third is, how to have a good relationship with our God brothers. Prabhupadaji had one or two Guru brothers.

He had a good relationship with them. But, many other Guru brothers were doing poaching. So, in different ways, they put obstacles in Prabhupadaji's service.

So, Prabhupadaji just could not demonstrate that. So, Prabhupadaji tried from his side. But, sometimes it is not in our control.

So, we need to accept that. Yes, Pramod. Sometimes, we see some repeated patterns.

So, the next time, it is very easy to jump to conclusions. Yes, it is possible. But, it is also possible that it is not an intention.

It is an incompetence. Whenever there is a wrong intention, it is wrong action. The reason for wrong action can be one is ignorance.

Nobody knows what is right and what is wrong. It can be ignorance. And, what else? Ignorance should not be taken seriously.

I was talking to an American devotee. He said, you say that devotion is the path of the heart. But, you have restricted it to so many rules that there is no space for the heart.

I said, what has happened to me? He said, I went to a temple. And, he is an American devotee. In America, people never sit down.

So, he was sitting down and listening to a class. And, he is very intelligent. He is a religious study scholar.

But, he got interested in this. He said, I went to a temple. And, I was asking a question after the class.

I said, Lord. And, the devotee next to me slapped me. He said, he is not the Lord.

He is the King. Do not commit a crime against him. That is also a commendable thing.

So, now, why do you need to scold him so much? He said, I am never going to go to a temple. So, sometimes, a wrong deed can be considered as ignorance. The second one is incompetence.

That, someone does not have the capacity to do that deed. So, incompetence. And, the third one is malevolence.

Malevolence means bad intention. He wants to do something bad. So, many times, we think that someone is making a mistake again and again.

So, that is malevolence. But, no. That can be incompetence.

That, this person does not have the capacity to do this deed. So, if that is the case, we should humbly, but firmly, tell him, Lord, do not do this service. So, if someone, if we give service to management, he forgets, scolds him, he does this.

So, maybe some people, they do not have the capacity to do management. What does management mean? You have to remember ten things. This has to be done, that has to be done, that has to be done.

And, some people are not able to do that. So, we should see if it is incompetence. And then, shift them to some other service.

But, if we see, what is the difference in this? That, in incompetence, at least, the person, has a little bit of regret. That, I have made a mistake. Even if they feel, you are making a small thing big, but there is a little bit of regret.

But, what happens in malevolence, sometimes, that person, he wants to do some service for us, anxiety comes for us, he feels happy. Look, I have ruined your plan. He may not speak so openly.

But, what happens is, when he enjoys doing bad things, then, that is generally malevolence. usually, when someone does bad things, he has a little bit of regret. Now, when Duryodhana did bad things, tried to kill Bheem, tried to burn all the Pandavas, did he have any regrets? What do you think? Did he have any regrets? He had regrets.

He had regrets that his plan did not go well. He had regrets that he did something wrong. He had regrets that what he did wrong, did not go well.

So, that is how we can see, whether it is incompetence or malevolence. In this, malevolence might not be there. Ignorance and incompetence are there.

But, at the same time, that person is not ready to understand that I have incompetence or ignorance. So, in this case, then, we have to use authority a little bit. Because, in general, the way, we have to give feedback.

So, a positive feedback, how to give feedback and how not to give feedback. So, one is, to simply give judgment. That you are irresponsible, you are incompetent.

So, what happens with this is, people become defensive or aggressive. I mean, I did not do like this. I did like this.

Don't you know what mistake you have made? I will tell you what mistake you have made. So, people become defensive or aggressive. But, a better way to give feedback is, that we take aim.

What does aim mean? First of all, tell them what action they had taken. What was the impact of that action? Suppose, someone scolds a devotee, scolds him publicly. When you scolded him loudly, new people came here.

That person was a VIP. He said, I come to the temple for peace of mind. If people behave like this here, then why should I support such a temple? Why should I come to such a temple? And then, third is method.

If you are disturbed by something,.