Why New Year resolutions dont work–and how to get them to work

This is an AI-generated transcript and it might not be fully accurate:

Hare Krishna

thank you all for coming today and how many of you have a copy of this book prayers inspired by Rhodita so you can open it to page 22 so in this book basically I’ve taken the Gita’s verses and normally the Gita is here a source of wisdom of course it is at the same time the Gita is spoken by Sri Krishna And he is our valuation. He wants to not only bless us with wisdom but he also wants us to bless us with with strength to apply that wisdom. So taking the wisdom of the Bhagat Gita and having prayer is inspired by that enables us to connect with the Gita’s wisdom at a deeper at a more not nec but a more personal level. So that’s what I’ve tried to do. So you’ll see in each page there is one verse read it poetically in English and there’s a picture of one deity of Krishna from various temples across the world. There’s a one sentence spiritual summary and then there is a one page prayer on the right side. So let us go to the prayer on page 22. Those of you don’t have a book it’s als It’s also visible here more comfortable this way. So let’s try to recite the words once. Then Krishna and Arjuna standing tall on their chariot white steel on blew their conscious loud and bright. A sound that shook the field with might. This describing the scene on the battlefield just before the bhagittita spoke. The actual conversation of Bhagita starts with chapter 2. So before that Arjuna and Krishna are there and they’re about to start the fighting that scene is being described. So let’s recite the words once more but this time let’s try to do it not responsibly but collectively that means all of us together together. So if you like you can repeat after me. My dear Lord

My dear Lord,

let me remember

Let me remember

that my life story

that my life story

is a part of your story.

is a part of your story.

Yes. So request different participants to read one one paragraph. Who would like to read the first paragraph?

My dear Lord, you are always with me in the chariot of this body just as you were with Arjuna on this battlefield.

Yes. See the Gita’s message the Gita’s themes at one level they are timeless at another level they are timely at one level it is universal at another level it is contextual. That means the Gita was spoken at a particular time in a at a particular space that in a particular context that is on the kuritra warfield and Krishna and Arjuna together it’s contextual but it’s also universal universal means that it applies at all times that just as the body is often said to be like a charity in the missions and in the body there is the atma and the So that is like Arjuna and Krishna. So just like there was a conversation between Krishna and Arjuna like that there is also meant to be a conversation between so they said they convert and Arjuna like that it’s a conversation between the atma and the paramatma and the Gita’s message in that sense is not just about a conversation that happened at a particular time. It’s about a conversation that is an ongoing living conversation in our own heart where we get high higher guidance and we get a higher vision and purpose for our life. So let’s move to the next paragraph. Who would like to read? Yes.

Please. Oh Lord, let this beautiful vision of the human divine partnership become the enduring image that resides and presides in my memory. Let this be the centerpiece of the story. I tell myself internally as my life story unfolds externally with this uh invitable ups and downs.

Yeah.

So when we go through life if we consider our life journey say most of you will be around 20 or so probably between around that age. uh or some of us may be under 40, I’m 50. So we are all at a particular stage in our journey. Some of you are 25, 30, whatever. So now in our jour life journey, there are many events that happen. So we could say some events that happen are positive, some event that happen are negative, some event that happen are small, some events are that are big. So broadly many things happen in our life. Now when these events happen we process those events internally and we process them differently. Each person process the event processes the event differently. So the broad question we’re discussing today is that what What makes people do what they do? Or see basically across human history and geography, motivation has always been a mystery. Motivation means that you know we speak something to someone and that person suddenly gets very angry. You know what’s wrong with you? Why did I I only spoke something small. I didn’t get so angry with it. Or he has a nice friendship with someone and suddenly that person person stops talking with us, stops responding to our messages. Nowadays, modern balance especially romantically people say you ghost someone, treat the other person like a ghost. So what happened? What went wrong? So basically how people behave it can often seem to be like a mystery. Now this mystery may not seem very mysterious unless that other person does something which is very unexpected. So we all have our moods and sometimes when we meet someone that person is in a cheerful mood somebody is not not in a cheerful mood. But if we could say in terms of behavior broadly there is a like a range. People might be in a good mood and a bad mood but that that overall the behavior stays in a particular range. So even if somebody in a bad mood it’s not that they start hitting glass or speaking very severe bad words it’s not that the person is in a good mood suddenly they say okay I will sign my step over to you it’s not like that there is some moderation in that but sometimes what happens this moderation goes off and people just start behaving in extreme ways now that’s the time You start wondering what is going on. You said why is this person behaving like this and while how others behave what motivates them to do what they do that could be like a mystery that is a curiosity isn’t it that okay we see some watch some TV series or read some novel in which there’s a who done it mystery you know this house was robbed or there was this murder over there who did it Now that’s a matter of curiosity. It’s like you could say when the mystery of motivation I hope this term mystery of motivation is clear. Mystery of motivation means India cricket is very popular. So sometimes in a very critical moment A batsman suddenly tries to hit a big shot and gets out. Why bat like that? Isn’t it? So maybe the postmatch conference that person will tell does it make sense or why do people do what they do? That is when it comes to others it’s it’s a mystery but you could say it’s a curiosity. It’s a more of a casual curiosity. Okay. I would like to know why they did what they did. But that same dynamic can be applied to ourselves that some sometimes we act in ways that doesn’t make any sense to us you know at that time why did I get so angry or suddenly you know we are in a good mood and something happens and our mood just becomes so bad we just don’t feel and do anything. So what happens When that happens, then it’s a matter of curiosity still, but it is not a casual curiosity. It becomes a much more serious curiosity. Say if somebody somebody’s house has been robbed, okay, I’d like to know who robbed it. But if my own house has been robbed, then it’s not a casual curiosity, isn’t it? That becomes what we can call as a existential curiosity. It becomes somebody robbed my home and will they rob it again? I had to find that person or what was it? How did this get robbed? So now we may talk about robbing of money. But when you talk about some robbery happening in our own home. So there is have all of you heard this word alcoholic. You all have probably heard the word

alcoholic. Have you heard the word shopahholic?

Yes.

What is a shopahholic?

Yes. It doesn’t just like to shop.

Yes. There shopping is their alcohol. So they say shop shop till you drop. You’re like a personal alcoholic. Drink drink till you drop. So shop shop. shop till you talk. Now the shopholism at one level it may not be harmful to the health but it’s definitely harmful to the bank account isn’t it? So now if something inside us is itself harming us or destroying us sometimes we see something okay let me buy this let me buy that. Now some of us may not have enough money to buy But sometimes now alcoholism might be the gambling addiction. Nowadays like sports betting has become a big thing you know especially among young people it’s like become crazy and at least in the past we would have to go to some gambling then some casino or whatever where we could go and gamble but now the gambling then is with us all the time on our phone. So now if something is is impelling us is making us act in a way that is completely out of character with who we are then okay what happened over here so so for us our own motivation why did I do like that so that understanding that is very important so Arjuna came on the battlefield and he was is ready to fight and suddenly he said I can’t fight I I I can’t fight it was completely in one sense unexpected behavior so why would it do like that like some player who has play practiced and prepared for say the world cup and then they come to the world cup finals the most important match of the life of the person At that time the person said I can’t play. What happened? This is what you prepared for throughout your life. How can you not play now? Are you injured? No, I’m not but I can’t play. So, so sometimes what happens the way something comes from inside us and just seems to make us act in ways that just that is just disturbing. Sometimes it is disturbing. Sometimes it can be just devastating. So somebody spends a little more money supposed to spend 1,000 rupees, they spend 2,000. It’s okay. Somebody supposed to,000 rupees and they spend 50,000 rupees or something. What happened? Why did you spend money like this? Isn’t it? So basically for us understanding our own motivation. See the word motivation has two meanings. One is like motivational talks or motivational speaker. That means the talks which give us energy. So I’m using the word motivation not in the same sense of energy. Motivational talk means you hear that talk and you get energy. You get spirit. Come on I should achieve this. I should do this. I should like that. So motivation a energy but I’m talking about another meaning of the word motiv motivation motivation is the driving force now both may seem similar but generally here when I say energy is I know what it should be doing but I don’t feel like doing it generally when you hear use it in the positive energy like if you hear a motivational talk before the exam I’m going to study hard I’m going to achieve that’s positive energy. But motivation at a broad level means it is the driving force. What drives you? And sometimes something drives us to do the things that we know we should not do. It’s like say I am here and I need to go here. This is my destination. I have got one month and I got important exam. I have to prepare for this. That’s where I want to go but it seems something comes from inside and then pulls us in a different direction or something comes from inside and takes us in the exact opposite direction. So what is this happening? So in one sense understanding what motivates us is probably the most important thing in our life. Why do we do what we We do. Now the new year has started. Many of us may make resolutions. The problem with making resolutions is that there is resolution and there’s dissolution. Dissolution means the resolution dissolves. So what happens is we tend to do we tend to do what we intend to not do. How many of you have this experience? Almost all of us. So we tend to do what we don’t intend to do. And for me my spiritual journey can this was one of the factors since my childhood I had a lot of fascination with English language. So one of my hobbies was to just pick up a dictionary and memorize words and I had developed a fairly good vocabulary by that and I was a bit short-tempered when I was uh in school and college especially in school but in college also so what happened sometimes I would get angry now having a bad temper is a problem but having a bad having a bad temper and a good vocabulary is a deadly problem Most people when they get angry what happens they start yelling and screaming but what they are speaking doesn’t make much sense then we just understand this person has lost his head so we turn off from that person but if somebody is very articulate they can speak very well then they can be very sarcastic they can be very cutting they can be very early so and I was a nice person. At least I thought I was a nice person. But then what would happen that there would this be these periods when I would speak something which would be so hurtful and then uh I would completely forget that there’s one thing that said anger is like temporary insanity. What we do when we get angry we don’t remember. And after that I was normally very nice, polite full kind of words but during those periods I don’t know what happened so in those days technology was not so easily available because I was growing up in 1990s late 80 1990s so one of my friends he in his backpack he got a a small tape recorder around the back and when I got angry he turn on the tape recorder and I went on the rank for four five minutes and he recorded the whole thing. And if you have ever heard your voice recorded for the first time, it’s it’s a it sounds a little different from what we hear with our own ears. So then he started playing that voice. I couldn’t recognize my voice. So when he played that, I said, “What a rude person this is.” And he looked at me and he sp that voice kept speaking. This is terrible. You know who would want to be with such a person? This person will have no friends at all. I I went for almost 5 minutes and whole recording went on and as I was hearing I was thinking I know this person. I heard this voice somewhere but I couldn’t figure out where the voice was. After 5 minutes I was very disturbed. Now what kind of person would ever speak something like this? And then he told me you know whose voice this is It is your voice. I was completely shocked. Flabbergasted is the English word. What? See, I had spoken something terrible but it was like the memory had been completely wiped out. So I didn’t even remember I had spoken that. So that’s when I started thinking what is going on. It’s almost like inside me there is some other person and that some other person takes me over takes over me and start speaking through you. Like if you have a car, you are driving your car, you want to go in a particular direction, but somebody else is in their car, that person pushes you aside, takes the car over and takes takes the car somewhere else. So I felt is there like somebody else inside me and that person is acting through me. So that’s when my search I was always a aid reader but from that point my reading started becoming more internal, more about psychology, philosophy, spirituality. So basically one of the key questions was what makes us do what we do. So for me it was not as I said it was not like a casual curiosity. It became a existential curiosity. So for all of us also there are some incidents in our life where we just become rudely awakened. What did I do? Why did I do that? What is it thinking? So those are moments. It’s actually when an awakening can happen. So when we are talking about a new year, you know, we would like to make new resolution resolutions for new year. You would like to be have a better life and that’s wonderful. But what is important is that we get a get some new better insights about what works what is working inside us and what I understood from the Bhagat Gita I try to share see here is our existence is three level the soul there is the mind and there is the body so this is like a computer system in which there are three things the soul is like the user of the computer the body is like the hardware the mind is like the software. So now relevant to our point is the mind. Okay. The mind is a storyteller. The mind keeps telling stories. I’ll go a little bit deeper into the mind. But we’re talking about one particular aspect of it. The mind tells us particular stories of who we are and how we act. act and according to the story that is told inside by our mind we interpret events accordingly. So let’s let me explain what this means that the mind tells stories and we interpret events accordingly. If you consider there is a event on one side that’s external and there is the experience of the event. The experience of the event is bas is basically like a story interpretation like see if we are watching a movie and we just see two people fighting with you. Now we may not figure out who is the hero and who is the villain over maybe one person looks at tractors other person doesn’t look that attractive the attractctor looking person is the hero but sometimes the villains Also they be very sophisticated. They also very isn’t it? So just by the action of fighting we can’t figure out necessarily who is the hero who is the villain. But then if we know what is the backstory okay this person acted like this. This person acted like this. This person acted like this. Okay this is the hero. This is the villain. This is the sidekick of the hero. This is the supporter of the hero. This is the supporter of the villain. Like that we don’t just look at the actions. We look at the actions in a movie in the context of a story and then the actions of the characters make sense within the story to the extent we know the story to that extent the actions make sense. So like that for all of us when particular events happen and there are particular ways in which we act in those events. So we have a story going on inside us and based on that story the event is interpreted accordingly. So for example if we experience loss loss could be in an exam we don’t do so well. Loss could be maybe we invest money somewhere and we lose that money. Loss could be that we apply for a job or or apply for an internship and we don’t get it. So we experience a loss. Now it could be that somebody gets into a romantic relationship and then the relationship breaks down. So people use the word breakup but what happens is a breakdown. There is no up generally speaking but there’s a loss over there. Now when a loss happens there are three ways we could look at it. I have lost This is more like a objective comment like you know sometimes if a cricket match is going on there’s a commentary going on. So some commentators are very biased that means if India Pakistan match is going on is a Pakistani commentator that Pakistani commentator will try to sell everything from Pakistan’s perspect so even if Indian b is batting very well. Yeah he’s batting well but one bad shot and after that no other good players. So once he gets out everything is going to collapse. So even if something what is going on? We’ll try to treat it in a negative way. So I have lost is more like a unbiased or a objective commentator. I have lost. Now we could go and say I am lost. Not just I have lost but I have lost. Now I am lost means what? It’s not just opportunity. It’s a sense of direction. It’s a sense of purpose itself. Say if you apply for IID and you don’t get into it. Okay, I lost that opportunity. But somebody has made the purpose of their life to get into IIT and they apply for it twice, cries and they don’t get into it. Now what am I meant to do? I am lost. So in between I have lost and I am lost which is a more damaging interpretation.

I am lost. That’s a loss of direction. It’s not just opportunity but But its direction or purpose itself that is lost. One of I have a friend in California who has done his PhD psychology special psychologist uh expertise. He has done his PhD in the post celebrity lives of basketball players like cricket is big in India. Basketball is very big in America. So now among various careers sports and movies these are most glamorized careers. But in both these careers the lifespan is very short. At least in movies you can reinvent yourself as initially you are the hero or the heroine. Then you can become the mother or the father of the hero or hero and then you can reinvent yourself. But in sports you can similarly reinvent yourself as a sports commentator or sport analyst. But generally in these careers your peak comes very early. In most careers by you’re 45 50 55. when you slowly start coming to our peak. But in sports, if you’re 45, you’re like a dinosaur, not in size, but in antiquity. That’s so old, like a fossil. So now, so what happens that these some of these players, they’ve been very successful, but suddenly their body starts failing them and then what do they do? Their whole lives becoming successful in sports is not easy. It’s brutally competitive to work extremely hard. Even if they succeed suddenly by the age of 35, 36, 37, 40 is almost over completely. What do you do at that time? At that time they start feeling I am lost. So what happens if they do not have direction on one side and because if they were successful and they have money they have then they can just ruin themselves they can get into drugs. They can get into all kinds of squandering the money and then they end up completely ruined. So I am lost is much more damaging. But the most damaging is I am a loser. So it is not just loss of opportunity or loss of purpose. It is a loss of self worth. So now this is where where the mind’s storytelling comes in. So when I say the mind is like a storyteller, the mind is like a commentator. So now generally speaking in a cricket match if we play what happens the commentary is for the audience or the spectators. The commentary is not heard by the players. But imagine a match in which the player is constantly hearing the commentary and the com commentary is very negative. The batsman hits a very good shot and the commentator says that was just a lucky stroke. This batsman cannot bat at all. This one day he was lucky. One shot he was lucky. This baller is a deadly baller and this batsman will get out the next. So if constantly there is a negative commentary coming in and the player is constantly hearing that commentary, what will happen? The player completely discouraged and all that negative commentary will completely paralyze and overwhelm the player. So for us at one level we are the player at another level we are also the commentator or we could say we as souls are the player but our mind or at least a part of our mind is the commentator and everything that we do or everything that is happening around us our mind is constantly making commentary. So for example right now you’re sitting in this class mind making a commentary when was going on is very nice now this class it’s become too complicated I don’t think I can understand this maybe I’m not smart enough to understand this now when the mind think I’m not smart enough to understand this Then even if it is understandable afterward think let me not put in the effort to understand the mind is saying this is taking too much time can I sneak out quietly from the maj will notice then throughout the session you’ll be thinking can I go get out so at each moment the mind is giving a comment now this can happen for the audience this can happen even for the speaker even when I’m speaking It’s like sometimes I’m giving a class and the audience is very responsive. Sometimes I’m giving a class and the audience is looking at me as if they are watching a foreign language movie without subtitles and then my mind starting whatever I’m speaking there audience is not interested and what I’m speaking is not understandable to the audience. From there the mind will go say maybe I’m not a good speaker and what am I doing spending my life traveling and speaking if I’m not a good speaker? So it’s like just in a class the blank face of one audience can suddenly change my mood. Now in Australia once there’s one place I go and there’s one person who comes and sits right in front like a city right in front but throughout the talk this person is constantly glaring at me not staring glaring and then the only way I can give the class over there is look at everyone except him but that is a good example to understand what happens to us inside us. So I started by talking about motivation. So Inside us we may we may may have the motivation to do one particular thing but inside us there is a storyteller there is a commentator and that commentator can give a commentary in such a way that we may just completely change our direction and then we may end up as I said we tend to do what we don’t intend to do or what we intend to not do that’s because the player goes with a particular plan to bat but the commentator starts speaking in such a particular way that the player gets affected. Now we can tell the player you don’t have to listen to the commentator but this is not a commentator we can get out of our head. It’s not a earphone that we put externally. This commentator is right inside us. So for us what we need to do is change the story that is being told inside us. And that is what the Bhagat Gita does for Arjuna. Let’s look at the next paragraph and try to understand what happened. Who would like to read the third paragraph? Please. The world outside and the mind inside tell me many stories. Stories in which sometimes I am winner and sometimes I am loser. These stories are always created on either what is done to me or what is done by me. But both what is done to me and what is done by me are meant to be a part of your magnificent and benevolent plan for my ultimate welfare and indeed for everyone’s ultimate welfare. So see Arjuna went into the battlefield. You consider Arjuna when he came to the battlefield around him. There’s a particular story you can say that inside him but he was a character in that particular story. The story was that he’s a heava he’s a great hero and the kowavas had done terrible wrongs to them and the kowavas will do wrongs to all of society and they have to be stopped. So when he came to the battlefield Arjuna had a positive story inside him. The positive story is that this is a righteous war. It is war is never a good thing. War is hell. But sometimes war is the war is the hell that is necessary to prevent a war that so he understood that and he came to fight the war. He had fought many wars before and fought this war. He was ready to fight this war also. Then suddenly what happened? happened as he came. So this was he was on one side of the battlefield but then he came in the middle of the battlefield and when he came the middle of the battlefield the story inside him suddenly changed. The story inside him became that these are and they are my elders. They are the elders from whom I learned archery. They are the elders for whose pleasure I learned archery. Now those are the elders with whom I want to kill with the same archery for what just a kingdom. What kind of greedy person would want to kill his own enters for a mere kingdom? And that story inside him changed so dramatically that I can’t fight. So some people say Arjuna suddenly became scared. Well, not exactly. Sometimes right now there’s a war going on with Russia and Ukraine. So in both countries they have lost lots of ablebodied men. So there’s always the equality which people want. But still in most parts of the world it’s understood that you don’t send women to battle. In movies you might have some superheroes who can fight a lot but in real life it’s not. So then they recruit able-bodied men and then if the men are not ready then they conscript. Conscript means forcibly you have to join the army. If you don’t join the army you’ll be put in jail. So when soldiers are when people are conscripted like that at that time they’re not really ready to fight and when they see the opposite army they see the bombs exploding the cannons blowing around them they might just get scared and they want to run away from there so was Arjuna’s fear like that Arjuna had fought great wars and Arjuna had fought these very warriors before at Virat so it is not that Arjuna was scared of their not once in the first chapter of the Bhagat Gita does Arjuna ever mentioned fear of his own death. So there was fear but it was not fear of his own death. It was fear of doing the wrong thing. Fear that I might be fighting out of greed and I will cause for the sake of gaining the temporary kingdom I will cause great destruction. So basically what happened in this story Arjuna saw himself as a hero. But suddenly the story changed and in that new story he became like a Buddh. In fact he say he says that yes somebody might say that if you don’t fight they are going to fight and they’re going to attack you. He says yes they will attack me but they are blinded by greed and that’s why they’re doing what they’re doing. But if I’m not blinded by greed How can I fight like that? And if I fight then how am I any better than them? So basically for us this the story which the mind is telling us the commentary which is coming from the mind that can change dramatically and when that changes it changes our mood it changes our motivation and then it changes our action completely. So that’s Why? If we want to become better in our lives, it’s not just a matter of making a resolution. I won’t do this. I won’t do I do like I won’t act like this. I act like that. It’s good to make resolutions. But it’s that res if the story inside us has changed, we cannot simply by brute willpower keep pushing on. So it’s important that we change that story. that is inside us. In fact, what the whole bhagita does is it changes Arjuna’s story. So this is you could say this is the story of Arjuna from 1 and we start seeing Arjuna from 1.11. So 1.11 to 1.20 is the story. But from 1.26 to 2.10 this is the story. So thinking how can and fight and thus he becomes completely paralyzed. Now by the end of the Gita what happens is that same Arjuna in fact it’s a Arjuna is ready to fight now ready to fight why because Krishna has revealed to him a bigger plan. and a bigger purpose. Krishna told him that you are not fighting this war simply to get a kingdom because of your own belief. You are fighting this war because I have a bigger plan for the world. And in that plan, you have a part. You are meant to be my instrument in bringing dharma in the world, in bringing peace and prosperity in the world. And for that purpose, is you need to work. Now there’s elaborate philosophy in the Bhagat Gita and if you start going technicality of the philosophy it’ll take a long time but the end result of that philosophy is the story which Arjuna was telling himself changed that so for all of us we may focus on resolution if I want to change myself if I want to improve myself Now I may make some resolutions. A resolutions are good but resolution is more like determination. This is what I’m going to do. But what we need to recognize is that our resolutions can be sabotaged by our mind. And we want positive resolution. That is good. But underlying the positive resolution is we need a positive story. So positive story could mean say if I start thinking if I tend to get angry or I tend to waste a lot of time in social media or I tend to spend a lot of time chitchatting or I have some bad habits whatever now we may identify ourselves with that I’m a time waster I have no determination internal generally we won’t directly say I’m a loser. But in some ways we may start thinking like that and then as long as the story is like that. So if somebody wants to give up alcohol but if they internally keep identifying I’m an alcoholic. Now what may happen is by that this is who I am. I’m never going to change better. Let me just do this. So it’s important that there is I’ll make two points as we move forward to the changing of the story. See there is our identity and there is our identification. Let me explain the difference between the two. Identity and identification they’re not the same. How many of you are Asians?

All of you. How many of you think you are Asians

you know probably till I ask this question you are not you know will you introduce someone I’m Asian no because while that is a part of our identity but that’s not a that’s not how we identify ourselves isn’t it like in the west in America especially they often identify Indians as Indian Asians more specifically they say you’re South Asia and you know the word Asian is used for Chinese people but India China we are all in the same uh continent so now some I was in America for I I started going to America from 1940 every year almost 3 to 6 months I’m speaking towards the first time in American college my student ask me are you an Asian so I have to think yeah am I an Asian yeah I am but I don’t identify myself as Asian so there is identity And there is a identification. So we all have many identities. So if I consider for example if I am here now I have an identity based on my gender. I have an identity based on my education. So I’m a man. I had education that I’m engineering. Now I could say I have a identity based on my job or my career or my calling. So I could say that I’m a spiritual teacher. Now I could have an identity based on my nationality. When I go to America, one of the things I teach there is that we are souls. You know that we are spiritual beings. But at the immigration office, if they ask me where are you from? Says I’m not the body, I’m the soul. I’m not from any country in this world. It will not be relevant over if I say I am the soul. I say okay my soul to get you out of this our country. So there is particular identity that is important for us there some identity say for example now we may have our identity based on our complexion I’m fair I’m dark so Indian kids who go to America especially Indian kids who are born in America what happens because they’re born over there they want to be Americans but they have brown skin Here we may say fair and dark skin but even our fair skin is brown for westerners and the fairest of our skin is brown for them. So what happens is the Indian kids who are born in America they are called as ABC. Have you heard this word ABCD?

Americanb born confused dies. So they they want to be Americans but their body their physique is is brown. So they can’t really be Americans in that sense. Or sometimes They’re referred to as coconuts. Coconut is they’re brown from outside, white from inside. So for some people their complexion may become a very prominent part of their identity. For most of us, we are aware okay I’m slightly fair, I’m slightly dark. But you know how much head space does it take for us? Are we constantly remembering oh I’m not I’m not I’m not fair or I’m so dark. I’m not so dark. Like for some people like that people want to tan there. Those who are fair they want to scan their skin and they expose themselves to sun or whatever. So we have many identities. Now which identity do we identify with? Now that is an important part of our identity but some people may say okay engineering I would rather go into management so I do MBA and then I’m not so much engineer as a management I’m management graduate some people change their career so what happens is we still have that educational qualification but their identity shifts so for based on our various identities now some of these stories some of the stories be positive, some of the stories may be negative. So our mind doesn’t just tell one story. It takes based on our identity. Say in particular cultures, say a particular education career or getting a degree from particular college is considered to be a great success. And if somebody has that degree uh then they think I’m a success. Somebody doesn’t have that kind of degree then what happens then that itself affects them so much okay you know I don’t have engineering from this degree or that degree so I was in America as a couple both of them are spiritually minded couple and they’re very devoted but the husband has a bachelor’s degree and the wife has a master’s degree and then what happens is the the husband feels very insecure because of that. So then when I was talking with this so I told them that you know does it is it that she she acts superior to you based on that no I just feel insecure so is it a big part for you well for most people whether you are once you get into a career and you’re going ahead in your career you know whether you have master’s degree or bachelor’s degree does not make that much difference the launching pad it makes a significant difference But in the head space it occupies a lot of stuff. So then I asked that mis you know when you introduce yourself to people do you need to introduce yourself as the masters you can just tell that I’m engineer both of us are engineers that’s no big deal for me I I never thought it would affect him so much it is affecting him the point I’m making here is what that there is an identity but there is a story like oh you know I have only this degree, this person has this majority and therefore I feel inferior. I feel insecure. It may not really matter much but based on the story that the mind is telling it starts mattering a lot. It could be two brothers are there and one brother has a bigger house, another bigger brother has a smaller house. Now the brother living in the bigger house may have a big fights inside the house and the brother living in a smaller house may actually have a relatively happier family life. But the bigger house a story starts around that you know so we could have one big source of our story is our income for many people their net worth becomes their self worth and how much I earn is who I am so what happens we tell ourselves stories based on various parameters and some of these become very very important and defining for our mind so What Bhagat Gita does, what Bacti does is to tell us that why all these are parts of us and depending on which our mind strongly identifies with a particular story will come in. But underlying these all in another way that all these all of these are are roles. Our role can be based on our job, our education, our age, our income level. But underlying these all These we can call it is a it’s our functional identity but underlying them all is our fundamental identity. Who am I? Tomorrow uh I may not be a young man. Tomorrow I may change my citizenship. I no longer be Indian. Tomorrow some people may be some people doctor and some scandal can happen that medical degree can be taken away. All the Those roles can go away from us. Our functional identity can go away from us. But our fundamental identity is I’m a soul. I am a part of Krishna. This is one identity that can never be taken away from us. This is always there for us. And in some of those these identities we might be successfully And that our life story might be going positively. In some of these roles, our life story might be going negatively. That means somebody might be very successful professionally but maybe they have had divorce and their family is broken apart. Somebody might have a lot of bank balance but their health is collapsing. Somebody may have a great reputation but they also have depression. So what happens is that in our life at a functional level some stories can be positive some stories can be negative but the problem becomes when we identify with one particular role too much then what happens we get overwhelmed by that. So what the bhagita does is is all these are roles we are playing but we are not the role we are the soul and The story of the soul is always positive. The soul is a part of God. And just as Arjuna, Krishna was with Arjuna, the Lord is always with us. So the soul is always pure. There may be many conditionings inside us. But inside the soul, there is no condition. There’s only purity. There’s positivity. There’s potency over there. So with that let’s look at the last paragraph and make couple of points and we’ll conclude. Who would like to read something? Yes please. Let let this remembrance of your merciful integration of my life your plan be a guiding and guiding light for all my let it be the guiding factor that pushes me forward even through difficult situations. Let it also be the guiding factor that gives me away from these reactions that take me away from you. Yes. So what it means is that in these stories if in one of the stories we are being very successful we may develop a lot of ego. I am such a great person and if any of these services stories we are going negative a bit of a problem of insecurity, inferiority and what is important is that if we consider it’s like a movie in the movie sometimes the hero might be beaten, sometimes the hero might beat the villain but through it all there is a director’s plan and in the director’s plan the hero will be ultimately victorious. So, The story of our life under Krishna’s direction it is not a tragedy. It is not a story where the hero is killed or something like that. Our body may end but the soul does not end. So that higher vision that I am a part of Krishna and Krishna has a plan for my life. That is a bigger story and to the extent we can live our life in the light of that story. to the end the routine ups and downs of our life will not affect us that much. I will explain this with two quick points. Now initially for us what happens when the world when something in the world is very big the world story becomes very big for us. For us the world is very big and God is quite small. Then what God is doing does God even exist? All that becomes mine. When I was introduced to Bakti about 30 years ago, I started sharing about it very enthusiastically with all my friends, relatives, acquaintances. So, one of my uncles told me, “God, I have a very good relationship with him.” Now, I had never seen him go to temple or talk about anything spiritual. I said, “What do you mean by good relationship?” He says, “Mutual non-interference. He’s happy there. I’m happy here. So many people may think that God is basically irrelevant for my life. But the point is that I will be happy here right now. But life keeps going up and down. I won’t be happy forever. So God is very small. When I say God is very small, that means what the and the world is very big that means the story of my life associated with the world becomes very big. That means if I don’t do well in my career, if I don’t do well in my this particular relationship if I don’t do so well in my reputation then my mind start telling a story you are a loser not just you have lost or you are lost but you are a loser but as we practice bacti and as we grow spiritually the things change the world becomes smaller and God becomes bigger for us so now it’s not in the world we consider it false it’s still real but God becomes bigger for us and when God becomes bigger that means yes in life I we sometimes are success and we sometimes are fail but Krishna is with me and Krishna is for me for the pandas they were great devotees they were very virtuous people still they had suffering through their life however through all the sufferings they were always sheltered in Krishna so when we practice sadabi when we chant the hol nails when we do some puja give them when we come for sats it’s not just a cultural activity there’s one more activity I do actually this activity should change the story we are telling ourselves or rather should change the story which is important for us which is the most defining story for us and then when that happens when the world becomes small and God becomes big when God becomes break. What happens is this becomes this brings stability for us. This brings peacefulness and strength for us because this is the bigger reality through my life. I may sometimes face failure but Krishna has the plans for my life and that’s how I move forward. And then when we have stability and strength in coming from our connection with God Then what can we do when we face the world? We can face the world with calmness and clarity. Calmness is with respect to our emotions. Clarity is with respect to our intelligence. And that is what happens to Arjuna at the end of the clarity. has come and that means calmness is come. So the negative story that was going on in the mind all that story becomes balanced and the positive story that comes from our relationship with Krishna that becomes the most important for us and that’s how through whatever resolutions we make it’s good to have those resolutions but understanding you know what is motivating me from inside. So what is motivating me from inside? Last visual I told you there here is the soul and here is the soul and here is the mind. Now in the mind there are many different impressions. So there are some parts of the mind which are wounded that we’ll say maybe we did not Maybe we were not as tall as we wanted to be. Maybe we’re not as fair as we wanted to be. Maybe we didn’t get as much marks as we wanted to be. Some stories could be negative. Some stories could be positive. That in some areas, you know, we are sensitive with respect to emotions. We are good at good at logical thinking. We are good at setting goals and whatever it is. There some stories are positive, some stories are negative. So once so We instead of I talk about identity and identification. So we don’t identify our identification is not with any of these commentators that are there. It is first and foremost with the soup. Yes, there are positive stories inside my mind and negative stories inside my mind. But I am it’s like a sometimes in a cricket match a very big cricket match is there there are multiple commentators and some commentators in favor of one some point to the table but the player understands that I am different from all these competitors and I have my role to play. I have my captain and the captain has a strategy and I have a part in the strategy. So in the mind there could be many commentators but for us our primary identification is not with any of with any of these commentators. Our primary identification is Krishna. The soul has The link with the super soul is with Krishna. So this is the source of our primary story. Our identification is this is our main story. Once we change our story like this. That’s why every day we will naturally through the roles that we play in our life we’ll get connected with other stories cuz we are having a career, we are having some hobbies, we are having some responsibil So the other stories will actually start coming into play. But what is important is we connect ourselves properly with the Lord. We connect ourselves with the Lord. Then that story will be what will be the most positive inside us. And when that story is the most positive, then we will find the strength from within, the stability from within to actually change ourselves for the better to to stick to our resolutions. Even if from inside something start sabotaging us, we’ll be able to fight against that because there is a greater source of positivity inside us. This is what the Gita gives to Arjuna and this is what the Gita can give each one of us. The last paragraph is here. Would you like to read this last paragraph? Yes. My dear Lord, bless me so that my life journey can always remain a harmonious part. part of your unfolding ultimate story.

Unfolding ultimate story. The story is constantly going on. So we may feel we have faced such a setback and things have gone wrong and now we’re going to work. But uh the bigger story of our life becoming a bigger story bigger story of our life that’s what we understand to change our heart to change our life to change our character that was the theme we discussed. I talk about three main things in today’s class. First was I talked about the concept I use three I often use the framework called I didn’t take out the chit chit is our consciousness concept chith also means we can expand our consciousness. So what was the concept I look what are the insights about the concept and what are the takeaway the concept was that our life journey is shaped by the stories we tell ourselves. So when we want to go in one direction but sometimes we end up going in a different direction in the opposite direction that’s not just happening because we don’t have enough willpower. That’s because there is there are stories being told inside us which can go against us. So the sto Stories are extremely important because what happens the stories is how we transform events into experiences right what happens and what it means that so loss is a happening but I have lost that is the objective story that’s like unbiased commentator I have lost there’s a biased commentator I am a loser that is a super biased commentator. So which commentator we hear that is important for us. So for us what we one of the biggest things we need to do is change the commentator that we are listening to. So the insights I talk about two main things that inside us there is the soul and there is the mind and of course there is the physical side our body. So what happens for us is the mind often has the mind is a storyteller. The mind is a commentator and it tells various stories and depending on the stories it tells it ends up leading us in particular ways. So now the storyteller how does it tell the story? Then I talked about relation between identity and identification. So what we have many roles in our life but there are some we identify with more. So I talked about how we have many different roles. It can be based on our gender, our age, our income level, our education, our job status, our relationship status, so many things like that. But these are all our functional identities. They are all our roles. And in the course of life in some of those we may be going up some of those will be going down. So now if we identify with one of them too much, we identify with our career, we identify with our uh time in terms of too much and then we’re going wrong then we start feeling I’m a I’m a bad person. I’m a loser. But we have a fundamental identity. This is the identity which should never be lost. The identity is I’m a soul. I am a part of Krishna. A part of Krishna means I have of heart and Krishna’s plan. So this is what we need to identify ourselves with the most and the takeaway for us is that we want to make initially the world will be bigger for us and Krishna will be smaller. What we want to do is we want to make Krishna bigger and the world smaller. So when we are at this level when then what will happen the soul is here but some role from the world will become very big. for us and then this will keep us agitated. But when Krishna becomes bigger for us then this will keep us not agitated but connected. This will keep us calm. This will keep us peaceful. And then inside our mind there are many stories that are being told. Some of them are positive, some of them are negative but those won’t affect us so much. So if we want to change ourselves for the better is strengthening this connection making this inner connection strong through our spiritual practices will help us get a more positive vision just like it gave Arjuna and that way we can move forward confidently in making our new year and making our future life better. Thank you very much. Hooray.

Are there any question? questions or comments. We have a few minutes please like that is a gradual process of like changing the story but in like the war when was like getting the stories of his mind then told him the like bigger stories like the positive stories. So is there anything like in our life which can like immediately like calm us and tell us the bigger stories like the positive story we have to find. for ourselves. That means there are various ways in which we connect with Krishna. So it could be chanting the holy name. It could be through getting his it could be through looking at his pictures. It could be hearing some talks or remembering some na. So there are various ways in which you can connect with Krishna. Now which of those connections will help us to be reminded of that higher bigger story that that is where our individuality comes up. Each one of us has a personal relationship with and that’s why each one of us has to find out how best we can connect with so broad we do certain amount of chanting so important to do as a standard practice but beyond that we have to find out what individually connects us Sometimes uh we choose a path that is not suitable for us. Uh we might not got success in that. Uh and at that time mind told us uh change this path and it uh might be uh profitable for us. So that uh uh we change the path to another that is more suitable for as is it not right that uh sometimes my negative commentary is good for us. Yes, of course. See when I said I have lost that is objective analysis and that is accepted but when I am saying I am a loser see okay it’s very important see negative thinking is itself not a bad thing it is inability to stop negative thinking that is a problem and see if anybody has to build a has to make a project. Maybe you have to build a skyscraper building or you want to build a big dam across a civil engineer. And now one of the key things in that is risk assessment and risk assessment means thinking what all can go wrong and not everybody has that ability to visualize what all can go wrong. So the ability to think negative is also a gift. It’s important to understand it. I I am an author. I also act as editor sometimes. But you know that the right the writing brain and the editing brain are almost two opposite functions. The writing brain is more creative. Okay, let’s try this idea. This idea this idea. The editing brain is more critical. Hey, this doesn’t work. This doesn’t sound very sensible. This isn’t linked with this. But now often those who are very good editors, they’re not terrible writers. Because what happens? They are always critically evaluating everything that they’re creating. This is not good. This is not good. This is not good. But the point is editors are also very important. In fact, uh sometimes editor authors can become very some authors who their books become very successful, they become very well paid, they become successful. But editors, they may never become sensationally successful. But they have stimular source of income because whether the book becomes successful or not, you get your editing pay. When you edit So my point is negative thinking is also a gift. The problem is when we can’t stop thinking negative. Now if an editor uh comes home and it’s their birthday and their child has written the letter appreciating them and the editor turns out starts reading that child say I’m expressing my love for you. Why are you becoming editor? You be my mother or my father over here. Isn’t it just accept affection? So So if in a romantic relationship somebody writes a love letter and other also starts proof reading that love letter pointing out mistakes that does not work. So the problem is that negative thinking is not wrong the world has dangers in it and recognizing that there are dangers or recognizing that even we have limitations that’s not a bad thing at all. So that’s why I didn’t say that all the stories the mind tells the negative from the mind positive stories can also come in and the mind negative stories are also not a problem.

It is when we identify ourselves with that.

So for example, if somebody decides that um I want to say become a manager, say somebody gets somebody gets into faculty, somebody becomes a faculty and then faculty you can do just teaching, you can do research and teaching or you can get into admin. Somebody says I’ll get into but they find admit very exhausting, very frustrating. Say I just want to study concepts I want to teach concepts that okay I don’t want to go admin definition I have to focus on teaching and research it’s a good thing so the problem is if they go into admin and they can’t do administrative work and they studying because I can’t do administrative work so I’m worthless that’s where okay this doesn’t work out I have lost but that doesn’t mean I am a loser so the mind’s negative stories become a problem when they become the only story that defines our life. But okay, this negative story is there. That’s one part of me that didn’t work. There are other parts of me which will work and let me move on with those. Okay, thank you. Good question. Any other good questions? Yes, please. How can understand that we are souls. See there are broadly three ways to understand about our spiritual identity. First is from our daily experience. See we often identify with our bodies but Every night when we go to sleep our body is not experiencing and yet we have dreams in which we experience something. So if I wear only my body then when my body is not experiencing anything why am I experiencing something there has to be something more. Now we may just brain okay that’s one possibility but then there are waterfallers out of body experiences. There are some people who had some uh cardiac arrest, heart attacks or something like that and during that time they experience themselves from a perspective above above the body. The body is being operated in operation theater and they are above and they’re looking at themselves. And now I have written a book called demystifying reincarnation in which analyzed and outlined many cases. One case of one one lady in America in Phoenix basically. So what happened to her was she had a aneurysm aneurism is like swelling in the brain and it was way at the bottom of the brain. So it’s very difficult to remove the aneurysms at that particular location. So they have a Dr. Spender is a person who has started a operation called operation standstill. In that operation basically you artificially induce a cardiac arrest so that the heart stops pumping blood and then no more blood going to the Then all the the brain from the the blood from the brain is drained out and then what happens is the cranial cavity is opened head is opened and the brain is literally pickled out of the head. So you pick up the head bring the pick up the brain bring it out of the head and then you reach the aneurysm and then you cut off the aneurism. So now for this to be done it is essential that the brain that the person be unc conscious if in the brain there’s light consciousness and the brain is picked up. If the person starts shaking the brain the brain start shaking what will happen is the whole operation can get long one wrong cut can happen also. So what they do at such times they have like uh earphones like that on the ear of the patient and they’re loud like train whistle like sounds coming constantly and if the patient responds to even one of those sounds Response not moving the hand and leg but even the brain shows some waves in the sensors then they understand the patient is not not cons is still not unconscious and they give some further dose of medicine to make the unconscious and then only they can they do the surgery. So this uh Pam Reynolds was the patient for whom the surgery was done. So she when she was in that state of complete unconsciousness not just physical but also neurologically unconscious. No brain will be seen. So at that time she described what the doctor was saying what the what the assistant surgeon was saying as a cardiac surgeon was there and there was a neurosurgeon was there. So what the conversion between them was going on and now they correlated the records with which was when was the time when this particular thing happened the surgery they keep the record of what was done at what times. So it was the time when our brain was is completely unconscious. So if how can we be conscious when our brain is unconscious that means our consciousness comes from something beyond the brain and beyond that if you consider our brain itself it’s made of fundamentally the same matter as this mic is made of atoms and molecules. So if I put a gulab jam on this particular mic the gulab jam They my tasty. So, but my tongue or your tongue experience is too tasty. So, if both are just matter, then how did matter develop the capacity to experience matter? Why does this matter not have the capacity to experience matter? Oh, this is tasty. And why does this matter have the capacity to experience matter? Where does that come from? So actually that comes from something which is non something which has the capacity for consciousness inherent within it. So there are a number of scientific pointers. It’s not just a matter of assertion. In fact despite all our research and make one last point about this despite all the exhaustive research of the brain that has been done and especially the last few years um neuroscience has expanded enormously. But despite all that research Science has not been able to find any place in the brain which is the origin of consciousness that science the current scientific understanding there’s a there’s a very good book about this called the brain wars the brain wars means among neuroscientists there are two theories one is that the brain is the originator of consciousness that is the view of some neurop majority neuroscientists but a small but influential minority says The brain is not the originator of consciousness. The brain is the transmitter of consciousness. The consciousness comes from somewhere else and is transmitted through the but while this is a war going on in academic war going on in mainstream science. But the thing is despite so much research scientists have not been able to find any one area of the brain which is the origin of consciousness. So we have been able to find out which area of the brain is associated which shape. So if somebody gets paralysis to the hands because of this particular area of the brain is damaged that we can find out quite exhausted but we will not be able to find any place where consciousness or changes so that conscious there’s a there’s a Dr. Wer Penfield who is considered to be the father of neuroscience and neurosurgery uh there’s a whole lab dedicated to him in Toronto in Canada Toronto University. So when had told this experiment about this particular point that so he did almost 40 years of research and he wrote a book called the mystery of the mind and finally he said that the conscious that the brain is like a computer but it is programmed by something not the source of consciousness is extra cerebral there’s a lot of scientific evidence for the point that consciousness does not originate from the brain but it comes from something else So thank you very much for your thoughtful questions and my best wishes and prayers that this new year helps you to change the story that goes on inside you that defines you and therefore your new year also becomes very auspicious and glorious by Krishna’s blessings. told that wonderful energy of mind as commentator. Thank you. We would like to thank for this wonderful explained like how the mind works and how we should work with the mind. Let us thank Roi for this wonderful year gift and helping us to take resolutions in the right way in the right as said like in the right mood with the right motivation and the right method. Let us thank Rosie one time thank one time loudly chanting the har Krishna Har Krishna. So here are a few announcements. So as previously my uh told about uh project books wonder there are many many wonderful books but some of the latest books like there are two uh uh is available here uh one is Gita for CEO and prayers inspired by Bhagat Gita that you have right now in your in your hand we have the other book I’ll just explain about it you have other book also I’ll explain about it

for CEO yeah this for so this Gita pray inspired of Gita there is 12 prayers here. This is the first six chapters and there’s a very accessible table of contents. So you can read whichever prayer you want. There are prayers when we feel lonely or misunderstood or abandoned. Prayers when we feel our desires going wild and crazy making us crazy. There are prayers when we feel as if we become very spiritually dry and if we ask very far away from God and there are prayers when we feel as if we are lost in directionless in our life. So whatever we are particular emotional lead or state and find a prayer for that. In this many told me that also before their chanting if they did one prayer

it helps them to calm and focus while they are doing their spiritual practices also

and this is published by Harper Collins one of the biggest publishers in the world it’s a national bestseller and like I was drawing some simple conceptual diagrams there are many concept graphics over here in the book as well so basically across the world there’s a lot of interest in traditional wisdom. So from Greece choices has become popular. From China there is a book called art of war has become popular. From Japan has become popular. So Hyper Collins wanted me to similarly present the Bhagat Gita in a way that would be contemporarily understandable. The Arjuna was not just a great warrior or a great archer or a great or a great devotey. He was also a great leader. So the Gita’s wisdom can help us not just to grow spiritually but also to grow in all areas of our life. And there are 10 principles taken from Babita in this book. You know how to form a vision for our life, how to spring back from failures and have resilience, how to speak more sensitively, effectively, transformatively, you know, how to take responsibility uh when things go wrong and how to let go or when to take responsibility and push on and when to let go when things are not working out. This is not only for CEOs. Ultimately, every one of us is meant to be a CEO of our own life. So all both these books are available and if any of you would like to have I will be here after to sign the books also. Thank you so much.

Thank you project for explaining. I hope this might inspire many of us to get that book as soon as possible. So this was one. So what we can do is like we can collect the books. We can give this side. So can we have Okay. So next thing about the price.

Yeah. So for this books the prices are for each book it is 450 individually 450 450 and if you are taking combined so it’s like 800 har Krishna. So another thing is like how many of you filled that attendance sheet? You received that attent sheet.

Okay. So can we have the rest of us attendance sheet? here.

Okay. We can separate the attention sheet or like even later on. Third thing like for prashadam. So devotees all the first year I b and b first years devotees will be having prashadam here in first floor. Rest all the devotees from IIT BHU.