Why the mind is a problem bigger than our outer problems – Chaitanya Charan

This is an AI-generated transcript and it might not be fully accurate:

Hare Krishna grateful to be here with all of you today and today I’m in writing and drawing some things over here. The broad topic I’ll discuss is that how can we make the new year topic was don’t just change your calendar. You flip your calendar for new year. We want to change our

our heart. We want to change our character. We want to change So new see if I’m going through life now if I want something new in my life there are two ways the new can come one is from outside something new happens and the other is from inside something new comes that means say we go to new place we meet some new people we do some new things so people like to travel now or tourism is a big industry in itself why cuz we all have a desire for something new in life. So now when we want when we want our life to be new, we want our life to be better at that time one way is outer situations become better before better situations come in our life and that’s important and we’ll talk about that also. But the other side is that from me something new comes from me from within me something better comes And in general all changes that are there that happen they are basically a combination of these two. There could be you could say there are new situations in my life. And while there is a new situation that is important but what is also important is that I have a new a better disposition. I have better inclinations better. better thoughts. So let’s try to explore this a little bit more. Now with the advancement of technology, our capacity to create new situations has improved significantly. So even And I was just a couple of weeks ago I was in the Middle East. I was in Dubai and in Dubai about 20 30 years ago was was just seen as a oil rich place that’s all but now it has become major tourism hub one of the top 10 tourist destinations in the world and now that has happened primarily by the power of technology. Although it’s in the although it’s a deserted area they very comfortable in flush. So technology has this capacity to improve our outer situations in many different ways. So sometimes the weather can become very cold, very hot. Through technology we can moderate the situations and we can have the temperature regulated through air conditioning through various things like that. And much of humanity’s effort has focused on improving the outer situ situations and that is you could say this is that’s a natural it’s necessary but at the same time the problem is that it even when we have new situations if we have the same old dispositions then it can become a problem I’ll explain a couple examples at this point Let’s consider the Bhagat Gita itself. The Bhagat Gita was spoken to Arjuna. Now Arjuna in one sense was in a very bad situation. The situation he was in was that he had to fight the war. Now normally among the situations that come in our lives, they can be bad in different ways. So sometimes bad things happen to us. There are two English words. There is adversity and there is atrocity. How many of you think there’s a difference between these two words? Adversity and atrocity. How many of you think there’s no difference in the meaning of these two words? Okay. How many of you think the difference does not make any difference. So see adversity is when it’s a cold night and we desperately need a heater and the power supply goes on. That’s adversity. But it’s a cold night and we find out that our neighbor has cut off our power supply.

That is atrocity. So adversity is natural. It happens through the course of nature. Atrocity is intentional. Somebody is doing it. So among these two which is more difficult to hear?

How are you doing this? Why are you doing this? Isn’t it? So now there is one more thing which is even more difficult to hear. And that is when we have to do something bad. And life puts us in a situation where we just don’t have any good choice. We have that’s that’s what is called as agony. So I was giving this class in America and one one American couple had come for the program. They’re telling me after the program so that how they were they found the very relevant and they heard what I was talking about. So what was Arjuna’s agony that Anjuna had two options and neither of them were good options

what one option he fights but he fights he has to fight against Bishma and Guru and these are his elders but they’re not just ordinary elders they are the elders who were like substitute fathers or from the grandfather like his father and Dona was a teacher who was very close to him. So these were father figures and they were the people from whom he learned arch taught him informally till these were the people who taught him arch for whose pleasure he learned and these are the same people he has to kill with that same that’s not a pleasant option but if he does not Then what is going to happen? The kowas are still going to attack. And if he does not fight, it’s quite likely that he might not be able to get the other pandas to stop fighting. Yudish may agree with a pandas keep fighting that without him the casualties on their side will be worse. And if any of his brothers die, any of their children die, he won’t be able to live with himself. If somehow he they all decide to stop fighting, Duran will keep persecuting them and they will constantly be trapped by even if somehow Bishma they get him. Bishma gets him to stop. Okay. You leave them like is a mean-minded person. So he will go after all those who have supported the mandas. He will go after he will go after Virat and just like there Russia Ukraine the war was going on. Now India did not take any side. And because India did not take any side, America were targeted India with disproportionate times. So what happens is that again Arjuna is by nature a protector and as a protector he doesn’t want anyone to be hurt. He wants to stop them from being hurt if they being hurt. But now because of him they are being hurt unbearably painful world. So there is no good option. So this this American couple is saying they have two children and two sons. Both of them are very good at basketball. But so they had opportunity to send one of them to like a basketball academy to grow. But they had enough money to send only one. What do you do at the time? You send one, the other person will feel bad. You send the other the person will feel bad. Or sometimes life process and situations that there are no consciousnesses and that can be extremely painful. So if you see at the start of the Bhagwan Gita Arjuna was confused and discouraged. So there’s a difference between confused and discouraged. Confused means I don’t know what to do. Discouraged means I don’t feel like doing anything. So both of these are a problem. And by the end of the Gita, that same So now in his case did his situation change? No. His situation was still the same but his disposition changes. His vision of what he was doing. His approach towards it changed. And when we are talking about our life that we can try to change situations to whatever extent man is fighting a war is an attempt to change the situation. So that’s important no doubt but there’s something much more important that is changing our disposition. So what life brings upon us that may sometimes be good sometimes be bad and if we want the newness and the happiness of our life depend or we let the newness and the happiness of our life be dependent on the situations that come in our life then we will always be very vulnerable. We’ll always be very unstable. We’ll always be a very insecure in our life. So that’s why what we will discuss is that yes we want good situations but how can we bring in a better disposition and in that terms now what did Krishna do what was the message of the Gita that led to this change that’s what we try to discuss And I’ll discuss this in broad three steps. So when we say change our heart, expand our vision, change, elevate our disposition. So what does that mean? In general, whenever any event happens in our life, any situation comes up inside us based on an event, a story is formed. we actually make a interpretation of the event. Now to understand this what I mean by interpretation of event see suppose now nowadays the newspapers or the social media wherever we get some updates now we can get like a we can see a photos are shared by a social media a video can get a photo and we can get a write up. A write up is a caption. So it’s a description of what is happening. Now if we get a photo maybe one person is picking up another person or one person is uh falling down holding their head one person is about to jump off a hill something dramatic something dangerous whatever we are seeing. So if we have a photo So without any caption, without any write up, then what happens? We start imagining the right up isn’t it? And that’s why the photos or in many ways we actually trust our eyes. Seeing is believing eyewitness that’s the in-law also we say. But the point is sometimes if we get a picture, we get a video videos. This is what really happened. Now we see in a video one person is beating up the other person and other person falls back into this person who’s violent. This person attack that person and that’s what we see. But maybe what we saw was a 30 secondond video and the whole recording is 5 minutes and all the previous 4 and a half minutes this person was trying to pacify the other person. That person was irritating. This person was pushing him. This person was hitting him. Yeah. And then the last 30 seconds is this person finally retargets. So what happens the the what the picture that we see the picture itself it’s very consuming. It catches the attention but the picture does not itself tells what happened. We have to infer from it. We have to guess from it. So that’s why If a picture is there without a write up now of course the write up has to accurate also somebody distorted right als but I’m talking about if there’s a there’s a visual and verbal when both of them are together then we get a more so what happens is the visual and the verbal so the visual is more generally emotionally evocative it triggers our emotions The verbal it gives more clarity. Okay. What actually happened? So not just clarity you can say clarity or accuracy we come to know what happened. So why am I differentiating between these two when you’re talking about this but for all of us when events happen in our life now the event is more like a picture and our mind supplies the interpretation for so what does that mean event has happened it’s a bad event but let’s try to understand this say we experience some kind of loss maybe we had a job and we lost the job maybe we had we invested some money somewhere and the stock market crashed and lost the money a relationship and the relationship broke down so there’s a lot los. Now when the loss happens we could the loss the loss happening is like a picture. Now the description the story around it that can be of three categories I have lost. Okay I had this money I lost something I had this job I lost this job as you can say of the guitar language this is called as su right in some We try to get some accuracy but another interpretation could be I am lost. I am lost means what? Say if somebody invested a lot of time somebody invested say 3 4 5 6 years in trying to get into IIT and then they just don’t get into it or or maybe they come to age little bit beyond which you cannot apply for suppose it’s like that then I don’t know what I have to do in my life. So I have lost is more of a loss of opportunity. I am lost is a loss of direction. It’s a loss of purpose which is more damaging.

Yes. I am lost and go damaging. It is more demoralizing. So if somebody has invested five or 10 or 15 years in a relationship and then that relationship takes down you know I’m lost. What am I supposed to do? My whole identity was based on this relationship and now the relationship is gone. So I have lost is much more damaging but the most damaging is I am a losser. Now this is not just a loss of direction or purpose. It’s a loss of selfworth. It’s a loss of basic self-confidence. I am a loser. Now see each of these are are stories or interpretations provided by our mind and they will have very different impact. So now I travel across the world and I speak to universities in America and universities in India. Many times in Indian universities couple of us I was in IIT Mumbai. So after my talk my faculty had come there and studying that just a few days before uh one of the students in the final year had had committed suicide. Now it was it’s heartbreaking human such news. These are from the most talented students from India and what happened they didn’t do as well as they expected the exam and ended their life. Now okay not doing well in exam is not a good thing but is it worth ending one’s life? No. What happens if one’s whole sense of identity comes from my marks. So if I don’t get more marks, it’s not just I failed this exam but I am a failure. Not just I encountered a failure but I am a failure. Failure is a event. Failure is never a person. So loss is an event. Nobody’s a loser. But when you start thinking like that then that person takes the final step. Now in America I have been to many universities. I have never heard of any student at least American students, white Caucasian students ever ending their life because of doing poor lead exams. America is a relatively affluent country and of course there are challenges there also but the level of competition that is there in India it is not there in the academic world. Until now in America I have not met a single person who says I’m jobless. They may not have a job. But the way they say it is I’m between jobs. So yeah, I have the job now. I’ll get another job in the future. So I’m between like I’m between cities. I’m traveling. It’s a very nausea hunt. In India, you come home and tell your family I lost my job. It’s like somebody died in the family. What happened? So now so There’s a certain level of detachment. Now, so even if they said lose a job or lose a exam, it’s no big deal. But that doesn’t mean the best young people don’t end their lives. There quite often they end their lives much more because of heartbreaks. So it’s like somebody has one bad relationship, second bad relationship, third bad relationship, then that person will start thinking that maybe I am unlovable. Maybe there’s something wrong with me and nobody will ever love me forever. I’ll be alone and all my friends will be in healthy happy relationships and I’ll be all alone and everybody will pity me. Everybody feel sorry for me. I don’t want to do life for that but my life so it is that what reason our mind may tell a particular story that may v. But the point is This is the events that happen in our life. They are like pictures. But the description of that is something which we write which we with our mind rather actually we are meant to write but often our mind writes the description and the difference between the two that there is a event and there is a there is a interpretation of the event. There is a I would say the mind says this is a description. of the but that need not be the only description of the mind is supplying the description. So in some countries if there’s racial tension, religious tension or ethnic tension whatever like in America it happened once that America there some some places there’s a lot of racial tension so the blacks feel that uh some of the police are very unfair to them. police pull them over a lot more than they pull over whites. So now if there is one event which shows a white businessman attacking a black person and then that one picture that one video is seen and everybody all black people get angry some white people get how white black people like this it can lead to riots can lead to a lot of violence because the event is what it is but that event is assigned a particular meaning. So generally speaking understanding the difference between these two is very important for us so that we don’t overreact. Now it’s possible that we may underreact. It’s also possible you may overreact so this is the I three points. So the first point I was talking about is the difference between the event and the interpretation the story that we are that our mind tells about David. So what are we discussing over here that how does how can we bring something new into our life. So for Arjuna the story he was telling himself or his mind was telling him is what kind of greedy person are you that just for a kingdom you are ready to kill your grandfather you’re ready to kill your guru. better don’t fight better live like a beggar don’t kill somebody like this and I say but if you don’t kill they will kill you since they are greedy people I don’t want to be greedy like them so he was thinking that the war is happening and the war happening means I am a heartless greedy person if I fight this is what it means I can fight so This understanding this first point is about interpretation. That interpretation we all our mind is constantly doing interpretation of what is happening. So events don’t come with a readym made explanation of the event, a readymade meaning of the event. What does this mean? So our mind provides that meaning. So see when I give a class my main services is as a public speaker I travel across the world. Uh sometimes the audience is very enthusiastic. Sometimes when I’m speaking the audience is looking at me as if they are watching a foreign language movie without subtitles. And then when the audience is looking at me with complete blind faces how that is a negative situation. But there could be many meanings of that situation. It could be maybe that I’m speaking in English and the audience understands only Hindi. Maybe I had to speak in that language. I’ been a translator or maybe I’m speaking uh too fast and they don’t understand it. There could be many reasons why that is happening. But my mind may say no you are a poor student. You are not a good speaker at all. You have spoken so many times but still you have not learned the art of actually catching and retaining the attention of audience and that’s why people don’t pay attention. Now it could be very well that the sound system is not working isn’t it? And the audience is looking at a blank face because they’re not hearing you. But what happens I may take it as I’m a poor speaker and if I take it as I’m a poor speaker then I’ll become dis So the event is what it is but the mind gives a interpretation to the event. The mind tells a story around the event and often because we don’t differentiate it what happens we get over affected by it. So it’s like life will always have it ups and downs this is going to happen but based on the story that we that the mind tells us Sometimes you become very happy or you become very unhappy. You become very volatile. Something good happens. Oh, I’m a hero. I’m a conqueror. I am number one. If something bad happens, things don’t work out as well as you want them. I’m zero. I’m worthless. I’m a loser. And that’s how we often have mood swings. So the mood swings that happen, they are not generally completely arbitrary people might say that I’m just a moo person or he or she is just a moody person there some extent it may be true but there is a reason behind it what happens is certain events have happened and those events our mind has interpreted in the vertical and that’s why sometimes very energetic sometimes feel like they shake the whole world and sometimes it become the whole world cannot shake us from under our bed you know from under blanket I fall asleep I don’t want to get out of bed I’m not going to so now this understanding this principle that there’s a interpretation that is happening so I talk about this in three parts we’ll try to get I degree today I don’t even get I try to understand right so first is understanding that there is a interpretation now this interpretation is almost unconscious that means the interpretation happens without of being aware of the interpretation. Say a I have a lot of insecurity and the and the audience is not listening to me. I start thinking I’m a terrible speaker. But if I have a lot of ego and the audience is looking blank, I think the audience is dumb people. So it depends on my own disposition. But both of those are unhealthy. Thinking that I’m worthless or thinking the audience is worthless. Both of those are not a way to constructively move ahead in whichever situation. So if we are working with our boss and a boss who gives us too much work we feel and we talk with our boss and the boss listener to us know I am such a wimp. I’m such a useless person. Everybody exploits me. Everybody everybody abuses me. Everybody just makes me work hard. I am such a terrible person. This is what my life story is good. So if you’re insecure, we start thinking that everybody does like if we ego this boss is such a terrible person. This boss is not worth being a boss. So when I become a boss boss and now both of those could have truth but both of those came out. So the point is there’s a unconscious interpretation doesn’t have to be constant. So from there what we need to move is towards a conscious analysis on that okay what actually is happening. So when you talk about cultivating a healthy disposition first become aware to understand that the mind is adding something to every event that is happening. Now once the mind adds something to event. Now we want to separate it. So what is the actual event and what is it? Okay, what does it mean? We’ll look at afterwards. So when you sounded. So now when Duryodhan was living in the kingdom at that time the Panda was in the forest and they were children and because Duryodhan was in the kingdom so he started thinking that I’m going to become the next king because the pandas whether they come back or not and he was there so he was pampered by everyone and then what happened the pandas came back their father passed away so they came back So in in the royal families there’s always a concern that they want to have an heir. We heard this word air like a successor who will be the next next ruler. So now the the king and the queen will be concerned about having an heir. And now after they have an air they may worry that something may happen to be here. So then they want to have a spare. Now the spare is in a very bad situation. No sibling will want anything bad to happen to their siblings. But unless something bad happens to their sibling, this pair will never become the air. So what happened? Duro then he initially thought I am the heir. But when the pandas came back, he be thought I become the spare. Soish was he thought to me become the king and I’ll be thrown. Now Now Yudish never made a claim that I should be the king and Yudisha never made a claim certainly that the whole kingdom has to be mine. Okay with the kingdom being divided also. So Yudish coming was an event but from that made the interpretation that Yudisht is a threat to me and the Pandawas are a threat to me and then his attempts to poison Bhima his attempt to warn the Pandas alive. All that was not a was not so much a reaction to what the pandas did but to what his mind told in the pandas mu. So quite often when we don’t learn to differentiate between the event and the interpretation the mind is doing. So we are fighting a war that doesn’t even need to be fought. Something needs to be done but we are doing something else entirely. And that’s where it starts becoming a much bigger problem. So what does analysis mean over here? When we analyze okay what I’ll talk about one simple principle for analysis over here. There is what is and there is what if. What is and if. What if means what if this happens? What if this person does like this? If this happens, what if this? So now the question if sends our mind on a wild imagination now, now of course sometimes we have to consider the future. So if I have a job right now, I have some money. Then if I lose my job, do I have some savings? So what if what if I lose my job? So we have to prepare for that to some extent. But There is a what if that is consciously done and there is a what if that just the mind goes off without realizing and we start worrying what if that happens what if that happens that kind of what if does not prepare us it only makes us panicky it only makes us feel us in fear. So analysis is about first understanding what is the problem. What is the actual situation? What actually happened? So what is is about the present. Now what if can be about the future. What if this happens? What if that happens? So what if can be about the future. What if this happens? What if that happens? Or what if can also be about the past. You know if only I had not spoken this way. If I had spoken that way. If only in this exam I had given this answer that answer. If only I had done this. So what if it’s worthy to think about in advance to learn from our mistakes to prepare for our future. But the first stage is differentiating from the what is and what is. So what is the actual situation? What is the exact obligation? This is where it’s very important to understand how the mind works. We talk about the disposition we bring into life. So the situation comes upon us. We can’t control that. To some extent we can’t control it. Sometimes we can but many cardinal situation when we talk about the disposition that primarily comes from our mind. So each of us has a mind that works in particular ways. Have you heard these two words optimist and what is the opposite?

So what is the standard example of being optimistic or pessimistic?

Glass.

Glass. If you have a glass of water, if you see it half full, then we are optimistic. If you see it half empty, so if you have glass of water, it’s half full or half empty. What do we see?

Now this is at one level everybody tell you be a optimist. Don’t be a pessimist. Now I have a friend who has himself given hundreds of self-help talks and he’s attended thousands of talks. If anybody knows examples see a glass and half empty not half empty and half full. He says the first thought that comes in my mind is is there enough water in this glass and throw on your face.

It’s such a old boring example you heard hundreds of times.

Now now that doesn’t mean it’s not valuable but there’s a what principle over here. Sometimes we may think that negative thinking is bad but that is not true. There is negative thinking which can also be gift. The ability to think positive is a gift. The ability to think negative also is a gift. So if somebody is going to build a skyscraper there’s a baron land say oh we build a 50s story skyscraper over such optimist you miss. But for that skyscraper to be safe, somebody has to think about what all may go wrong. If there’s a fire, is there exit over here? No. If if it collapse, if there’s a big wall, do we have some measures? So basically, somebody has to consider what all can go wrong and prepare for it. So some people their minds naturally think about positive possibilities. Some people’s minds naturally think about negative possibilities. And both of these can be assets and both of these can be liabilities. Like some people may think so positive that they don’t even think about it in somebody there some some scheme comes up you invest your money and why in 6 months your money will become double okay I’ve got 10 lakhs saving I’ll put all 10 lakhs you know what they lose the money you don’t pessimist No, that’s not it. So the idea is in between these two is a realist. So realistice that yes the glass is half empty and the glass is half full. Both are so rather so both optimism and pessimism are additions of the mind. They are based on the way our mind works. We may add something negative to it. We may add something positive to it. But what is means first let’s look at what it is. So what is is a realistic attitude. This is the problem or this is the opportunity. So once we start with that so the so the mind some people’s minds we naturally think about what what is wrong or what can go wrong. I have written more more than 30 books. So I In my writing there is always a role for editing. Now there are many people who became famous simply as editors. Of course authors are much more famous. There are people who are celebrated editors also. Now those who are good editors often they are not very good writers. Not that they can’t write but writing involves more of a creative faculty. Hey what about this idea? What about this way of seeing it? What about this? up. Editing is more of a critical facility and this doesn’t make sense. This is too long. This is uh uh this is just going too round and round. This point doesn’t live with that point. So it’s a the editor has to see what all is wrong. And now that is also a gift. Not everybody can edit well. Not everybody can edit well. So the idea is that when we are editing a particular part of the brain is required and some people are very good editors. Any project has to be very big project has to be done a fundamental role has to be played about risk assessment and risk assessors have to primarily look for negatives. So now we may analyze to understand what is the default tendency of my mind. That is good. So what is and what if So among the what ifs each particular person based on the nature of their mind may go in a particular direction. Some people may tend to be very optimistic, some people may tend to be more pessimistic. Now in general our mind tends to be pessimistic and there is a reason for it and that reason is not that the mind is the reason that in life how it works that we can experience both pleasure and pain. However, say let’s consider a a simple example then we’ll build from it. See if we are going for a forest walk going through greenery wilderness and now there might be a beautiful rose flor now if we miss seeing that flock we miss some pleasure And that’s a problem. But if there’s a poisonous snake, slithering one, and if we miss that snake, then people will miss us. So, so in one sense, the the loss in missing pleasure is not or loss in missing some opportunity for pleasure is not as much as the loss in missing some danger, isn’t it? The amount of harm that can happen if some danger occurs is far more. And that’s why as a survival mechanism, our mind is more attuned to danger than to pleasure. That’s just the nature of the mind. And it’s not a bad thing. The problem in our our modern postborn society is that whereas in the past where life was rel ly simpler. The danger was tied to some tangible object. If we living in a village and some tiger comes in or some invader comes in, then there’s a danger. But now the world we live in is so complicated that tomorrow we may go to office and because of recession we may lose our job. Now what is recession? You can’t tie recession to a particular sheep. Recently one devotey told me he had come to Vindavan for a gatra and he decided that I will not check any of my workmates. I want to completely immerse myself in Krishna. And he went after one month back he went to his office and sometimes you go it was not that he was fired his company itself had shut down.

So So now here who can actually anticipate what was for many of us the dangers that we have they are not tied to specific objects some are but many are not and because of both these reasons our mind is attuned to think of danger more than pleasures I can’t afford to miss the danger of this and because now the dangers that we face are not that tangible so then the minds always in a state of fear. Maybe there’s a danger somewhere, a danger, a danger there and that’s why there’s a lot more negative thinking. But the point I’m making is we separate between what is and what if. So what is the actual problem and what is the nature in which my mind tends to go off? Which what if does my mind take on? And once we understand this, we become so Krishna In one sense what he told Arjuna is that this war you have to fight but you are not fighting this war for you have just gained the king you’re not selfish and you’re fighting this war because you want to live in prosperity you are fighting this war because you want to establish dharma in the world that is what I want you to do there is a higher purpose a person like duryodhan if such a person has been allowed to live and rule without any opposition then the kind of things he might do in the what did in public it just it’s not only a horrible thing but the fact that see there will always be predatory men who will try to violate women but most people will do something like this in some dark alley or somewhere there’s no witnesses that is there’s fear of the law but if somebody does this in public That means they have no fear of the law. If somebody goes into a police station or goes into a court and does something like this and they have no fear of the law, the law has fear of them. Is it? So that was a dy that in a place where all the kings, all the all the protectors are supposed to be present, he thought that I can do this and I can get away with it. So now if such a person had unchallenged power now Then the pandas were in the forest. Duran knew the pandas won’t come back. And that’s why he kept his shenanigans, his evil deeds. He kept them under some street. But the pandas completely out of picture terror in society and he had to be strong. So now the last part is that I talked about I, A, S and S. So S is where our spirituality comes in. So we try to understand that I expect interpretation or my mind is doing an interpretation. So we try to do an analysis to understand the situation. And then lastly what does spirituality do? I’ll talk about this and spirituality broadly does two things for us. Now when you say spirituality what does it mean? Many different people who may have different ideas. has been charity.

So I was I was giving a talk in the sales force and then a person came to me know my office is a very spiritual place. Why is that? What do you mean? I went to some aroma therapy retreat and I got this particular aroma. They told me this aroma is spiritual. So I keep that aroma everywhere in my office. Therefore my office is spiritual. Now many times what happens people equate spiritual with anything which makes them feel good that if I go someplace and I feel nice I feel calm I feel relaxed say it’s a spiritual space well maybe not if somebody very stressed and they take alcohol they feel very Good. We take drugs and feel very good. So are the drugs. So now this point is that we we will feel relaxed. We will feel calm. We will feel composed. But that is not what defines spirituality. It’s like health you can define as okay there’s no pain in the body. My body body feels good. But how you get to it is important. Somebody can take pain medication and they can feel very good but that doesn’t mean that so spiritual is not just about the destination spiritual is also about the process to the destination nowadays say I was I was giving a talk in Stanford and there I talking about neuroscience and spirituality so they told me that there they have got a huge research being done with also that to develop something called a meditation helmet. What is a meditation helmet? Their idea that there are many scientific studies which have found that when we meditate the neural imaging the imaging of our brain shows that the brain is in a very calm state. So there are different areas of the brain which are associated with different functions. So if certain parts of the brain are activated that means the person is in a calm state. The some some area are very active. I think the person is very acquiring, very angry, whatever. It’s not a one very clear correlation but broad correlations there. So now now they have found that people who meditate regularly those parts of the brain which are associated with calmness are more developed. So what they trying to do is develop a helmet you put it on and that will have some electrodes and some electrical signals and that will activate the part of the brain which is associated with counts and you will become G. Now this is what they think of spirituality only as a destination. So actually if we want to be calm, if we want to be calm, we have to decrease our calm. See our desires are reaching high. I want this. I want that. I want that. I want that. There are so many desires inside. us then those desires are what are going to steal our so they are going to rob us of calmness. So we cannot have calm simply by putting on something. So often spirituality is reduced to this kind of uh just somehow get to the destination is a process to get to the destination. So what is spirituality about? How does spirituality help us to create the new disposition. So the idea is that I am here always here that see our existence is three level the soul, there is the mind and there’s the body. We have three level existence. This is like a computer system in which there is the hardware, the software, and the user. So all these three together is like the self. So for us the mind is next to us and I have deliberately shown the mind to be very big. The mind is actually once has come the body is huge. The mind is small but I have shown the mind to be big because the mind has a big influence on us. Our thoughts, our moods, our dispositions that is affected a lot by the state of our mind. So now what the Bhagat Gita tells us is that next to the soul there is the super soul that isma next to the atma is the paramatma that is God. So spirituality is where we become more connected with our with the god within us with the spiritual side within us then with the and physical side. So as long as our mind is very big for us, our mind has a big impact on us, then whatever story the mind tells, that’s what is going to affect us. Say if we are in college or we are working and we have two people in our social circles, one person is constantly discouraging us. You know, you got into this job, they’re just lucky that you got this job. They’re actually not qualified for it. And you when you fail Not only will you go down and take the whole thing down that person’s constantly discouraging us as another person who encouraging us everybody has to learn things everybody makes mistakes but we all learn from our mistakes we can grow and we have a talent you can live with that talent so there are those two people one is constantly discouraging us other is constantly encouraging us now we have a choice whom we listen to both will be there at whom to be listened. So if we listen to the person who’s constantly discouraging us, then we get discouraged. If we listen to the person who’s encouraging us, now encouraging is not the same as plattering. Encouraging means suppose we go to gym and we try to lift a 10 kg weight or 20 kg weight and yes we can lift 20 and say okay let me try to lift a 21 kg weight. Yeah. But encouraging is not telling you can lift a 60 kg weight. Try to lift a 60 kg weight. And after some time you become a 60 kg somebody has me. So it depends encouraging without flatter and but there is there are this there are two voices whom we listen to. So what happens spirituality essentially knows if we grow spiritually that means that inside us the mind’s volume becomes smaller, the mind’s voice becomes weaker and God’s presence in God’s voice becomes bigger. So for most of us, the mind is very big and God is very small. We constantly hear the mind’s voice and every event that happens the mind’s commentary comes up with it and then we get over by it. But when we chant the holy name When we come to satsang, when we do some puja, by all this what happens? God becomes the bigger reality inside that God is with me. God is for me. Just as Krishna was there with Arjuna on the chariot on the battlefield. But as long as Arjuna was looking toward the battlefield, he was becoming more and more panicky. But when he turned towards Krishna and when he heard from Krishna, He started becoming he become more composed. So that does not mean he never turns toward the world and look at the world. He has to fight. So he has to. It’s not that we shut down our mind completely. The mind is also useful. But the mind can sometimes exaggerate and distort. That’s why spirituality is essentially about when the spiritual becomes bigger than the mental and the physical. So when we when we start practicing bi the result of that will be our minds distortions they will start decreasing even if they don’t decrease the effect that they have on us will decrease and there are two things the person who is constantly discouraging us that person itself changes and stops discouraging us and the other is the person may be discouraging us but we don’t listen to that person We don’t let that person define us. I going back to starting point a loss happens and the discourager says not that you have lost but you are the loser. Now we don’t listen to that person so much rather we listen to the person who is there to encourage us. So Krishna was there with Arjuna on the battlefield and if we consider the world to be like a battle battlefield then our body is like a chariot and Krishna is there with us within us and the more we connect to the Krishna the more we’ll find that the ups and downs of life will not shape us so much so positives will come in our life and the positive situations come we’ll be able to tap them better the negatives come in our life we’ll be able to tolerate them better and with that new disposition actually we can create a new life for ourselves a new life a new year should be a better. So in summarize what I discussed today. Our broad topic was you know how to make the new year actually new how to make it new. So broadly I talked about four points. First was when we talk about concept of new new can in terms of the situations that come in our life or you can be in terms of the dispositions that we bring into our life. So now ideally if both are there that is the best but the situations we can’t control so much in fact the situations may just be dual but if our mind is unstable then we go way up and we go way up. So that’s so now what do we do about it? So to have this new disposition So for this we talked about three things. What are the three things?

I I was

interpretation.

Interpretation.

The first thing we need to understand is that our mind is constantly doing interpretation. That whatever happens if I experience a loss my mind may say I have lost

but this kind of objective interpretation is very rare. It’s I am lost or

I am user. So this additional information is happening. It’s like if there’s a event, there is a photo of the event and there is a write up of the event.

There’s a write up about the event. Now what happens is that the photo often it triggers our emotions. Now the write up gives us a little more clarity about what actually clarity or accuracy. So what happens Often the events are like the photos. While the events have both of these but when the events have both of these our mind often goes only in this direction. It only sees the photo and then what happen the mind provides the right and that’s how we may end up overreacting to. So to avoid the interpretation what do we do?

Analyst.

Anal Analysis means simple. We separate it into two distinct steps. What is

what?

What is

and what

and then what if. So what is it simply about the facts?

What actually happened?

So for example, okay, I lost this particular job or I came to this particular place and this person was supposed to come. This person didn’t come or I have been given more work than my colleagues. That is what is Now once we understand the facts so what is is more about the present what if about the future or the past. Now in what if also we discuss that there is also we come to know our mind’s default tendency. So default tendency would be that some minds may be more positive some mind may be more

negative

negative. So it’s not always necessarily that negative is bad. Not necessarily the positive is good.

So that what we want is

first to be realist. Realist means understand what is and then generally if our mind tends to be more in the negative direction it’s good if you can find out roles in that direction. So if somebody is very good at finding out uh there are more critical tendency there are jobs available in that role also. Somebody has more creative tendency there are controls available in the atmosphere. So we need to it’s not that we have to reject our mind completely. It’s not that we suppress our mind but once we identify okay this is the way my mind works then we can deal with it. So then I don’t the pessimism it’s increased because of two reasons. One is that our vulnerability to danger is far greater than our capacity for pleasure. We miss pleasure okay something miss danger we can die. And the second is nowadays we have many intangible dangers like somewhere uh some change happens and because of that we end up have a c prices of everything increase or lose our job that’s why mind tends to be more negative and the last part was spiritual so spirituality what is it that is very good thing is just about a destination destination is yes when I practice spirituality I will feel good But there is a very important process that we need to get. So we cannot have a meditation helmet because that is not taking us through the process. It’s like taking pain medication feeling good. So what is that process we discussed? If we consider in our inner world the soul, there is the mind and there is God. Now of course there is the body. So if in the normal setup is like this. So In the unspiritual or the non-spiritual state, what happen? The soul is small. The soul is small. The mind becomes very big and God also becomes very small. Then every the mind story whatever it is told that just becomes our story and we get overwhelmed by it. But when we are spiritual the soul is here the mind becomes smaller and then God becomes bigger. Then what happens? our connection with God that g uses stability that uses security. So if our mind is giving us a distorted picture of things the mind is a discourager then God is our encourager and if the over a period of time at least we will stop taking the mind so seriously. We’ll take God more seriously and after some time the mind will itself stop its unhealthy tendencies and then we can all become that fresh inner disposition we can actually create a better life. Thank you very much.

Are there any questions or comments? Har thank you for the wonderful veryful. So I wanted my question is when you told we start we will know that God is sending this message.

Mind is interpreting. Mind is always interpreting but This is Lord.

Okay. So when I said that if God becomes bigger but even God’s message comes through the mind only. So how do we know? Well I’m talking more about the broad presence rather than the specific message. It’s like if we are going in a dark hole and we see some person who looks like a big robber a big robber or big big kunda or something like that. We can feel a lot of fear. We feel something but behind that person we see there’s a powerful well equipped with the there’s a police person out there. The police person doesn’t have to speak anything to us but just their presence calms us. So similarly for us there be a state where Krishna can speak to us from inside also. But we don’t have to necessarily reach that level of mystical awareness to experience peace. Just our the more we practice bi just that sense comes that there is a bigger reality and yes whatever is happening in my life that is that is true but this is temporary this will pass there’s a more enduring reality is there and just dwelling on that reality it helps us become sound. So when the mind is telling us a story okay this has gone wrong that has gone wrong now everything is going to go just we we chant we do something we take some deep breaths we pray we start experiencing that okay still experience some calmness I experience some divine presence I experience some strength so this is not whatever has happened is not the end of the world okay it’s happened It’s is something which is not so good. I deal with it. So the problem is not that the mind is present or that adverse problems are present. The problem is that the mind exaggerates it distorts. So just the remembrance of Krishna not that Krishna has to speak and think also. Just the remembrance of Krishna helps us to come down. Okay. This is a problem. But and like suppose somebody lost 10 rupees and they think I have lost 10 lakh rupees. Now our reaction we lost 10 rupees not to lose any money but 10 lakh rupees we will kill someone how did I lose this money you know what happens every problem every loss our mind makes us think this is like a loss is going to end my life so that that kind of catastrophizing of every problem that we don’t do that. So in the two distinct words when there’s a problem on one side we may catastrophize catastrophe catastrophe means some big disaster. So catastrophize means in this problem means everything is lost but instead of catastrophize contextualize. Contextualize means Okay, in this particular situation this happened and yes I have faced problems in my life. If you think about one year before to what makes me remember was there any problem troubling me? Yes. If you think probably there was some problem troubling me at that time and at that time I thought if I don’t deal with this my whole life will you go back two years before also it was like that. So problems are there they have to be dealt with but the mind’s catastrophizing of the problems is also what needs to be dealt with. Yes. Krishna

you can speak.

Yeah. Uh Har Krishna Brahu one of my very close college friend in fact my only college bench uh benchmate he is suffering from a great loss and uh means my problem is that I am fearful that he might identify himself purposeless at this point and also may consider himself as a loser. Uh as a person he is very underexpressive and also very introverted kind of person. So he’s not

the first he’s a very

uh underexpressive means he’s a very introverted person. So I am confused with uh what I should do in this situation. Should I should I just uh tell him or should I tell him to be towards the spiritual to look at this thing as with a different matter or should I give him his personal time? It’s a difficult situation that he’s in and it’s difficult if somebody is introvert or underexpressed it’s difficult to help them also at the same time there are two things which we can do generally speaking We go through life now we look for gifts in life what things work out for us okay I got this opportunity I got this job I got this relationship whatever this we look for gifts in life and they’re important but actually is far more important is the gift of life Our body is so vulnerable that one bug from inside or one bang from outside can destroy our body. And whatever be our age right now some of you will be 20s 30s and 40 50 whatever whatever be your age you all probably know some people who died before they came to know. So if we are alive that itself means there is more right than wrong in our life. If if our heart is still beating, if we are still breathing, that means God is not here. There is some purpose for our life. So in that sense, we talk about positive thinking there are different ways of thinking positive. But a fundamental level, we need to be able to look for what is right in our life. Okay, there are many things you’re wrong and we don’t want to deny that they are wrong. But you have to look for what is right. And now when you got to look for what is right. So one is that I’m alive. That is itself right. But after we look at life, the gift of life is there. After that we need to look for some ability that we have. And what happens? We often evaluate our life in terms of a achievements and we fail to achieve certain things but achievements take their own time. Sometimes we may have a good seed but the rains may not come floods may come and from that seed we may not get any fruits but we still have the seed. So we look for the ability that we have that is one way to see positive and then third is that one of the strongest to means or one can increase one’s will to live will to continue on in life’s struggles is that if we feel that we can make some contribution not necessarily achievement but contribution that means achievement is where the world recognizes oh you did something special contribution is where we are able to do something of well so The idea is maybe if you know that person look for talk with them about some instance in their life when just by their existing by their acting by the what they did they made a positive influence in someone’s life. So if you consider these three things the gift of life the gift of empathy the gift of contribution we all have lacks with us. So that is actually for each one of us when life discourages us. It is for us to increase ourselves and then in the world view that that person may have. It may be negative world but still within that help them to see some ability that they have. Help them see not that the future they will make some contribution. See it is what happens instead of ability we start looking for achievement. Yes. Now ability should translate to achievement. That is true. But Achievement requires many other factors beyond ability. Somebody may be a good batsman but if the pitch is bad or if everybody else gets out then you can’t do anything. So now there’s a time to look for achievement and often we evaluate our work in terms of recognition and then sometimes we doing good work but the world cannot recognize us. So we look for contribution. If you do this, everybody in whatever situation they are in, they can get that sense of positivity to enable them to move on in life. Any other questions? Let me know. Let me stop here. Wonderful question. Any other questions?

Yes, please.

Thank you. Can we start? we feel excitement but after sometimes we feel some kind of mental resistance and during that resistance we are trying to continue uh it becomes we become like I become fearful like whether I’m able to continue or not and so how to uh overcome this

okay starting something is very easy but then to continue on consistently we start feeling resistance from what do we do I think that’s the which all of us face like as an author every author dies with ideas of many books all of us have ideas which you don’t implement so what can we do about it I don’t think there’s an easy answer because each mind is different it’s like say each our mind is like a child Now somebody could become a parent. They can read as many books about parenting as they like or if the child starts crying how to pacify the child. But at the end of the day there’s no formula. He said each each parent has to experiment and find out what works with their child. So like that our mind is like that. Each one of us has to find out how can work with our mind. But there are some broad principles. So the three things Well, when we are when there’s a long road to success, when we have to do something but it’s not the success is not going to come immediately. So, how do we persevere in the long road to success? The first thing is that we need to get some intrinsic pleasure intrinsic joy. That means the joy is not just when I get there. There has to be of course when you get there special joy but there has to be some joy in just the journey itself. There’s a famous there’s a Nobel laurate author he said that you know I enjoy I love being there but I love even more having written. So if somebody wants to go up and climb mountain now it’s going to be very difficult but if that person hates nature Then till you get to the Mount Everest, you’re going to hate every moment. But if you love nature, you like to be close to nature, then every step along the way also is a joy. That’s why there is this whole system of vanashra. In vanashra, what happens is not simply dividing society into casts. It engage people according to their nature. So what we are doing, we get some intrinsic joy from that. So if somebody likes music like I want to become good at music it may take months or years but still I like playing music even if I’m not good at it I just like doing it. So there has to be some intrinsal small steps this is among all the factors that contribute to depression. I’m not talking about clinical depression but general depression. People who tend to get depressed they all devalue small steps and this sometimes as devotees in the name of humility we start devaluing things know that small steps do matter so if say suppose I decide I’m going to do for one year I’m going to do something and but if you’re able to do five days and six day you fall they’re not able to do it okay if you did for five days give yourself credit for that appreciate that so Don’t devalue small steps. This is a surefire way to making or sure way to make sure that you fail that is divine small steps. And this is a typical character of the map. Don’t divide the small steps. So small steps do matter. Most success is evolutionary before it becomes revolutionary. Evolutionary means small growth is happening. We don’t even see any huge signs of growth. But the small steps are not small. They are significant. This revolution revolutionary before it becomes revolutionary. So don’t devalue small steps. And third is that nourish the intentions. Nourish the intelligence means what? See basically like I earlier I said that uh how should I put it that our mind gives a particular story around every every event that we experience. So the Gita say that many of the best things in life they are like poison in the beginning but they will be like nectar in the end. So now I said that sometimes we feel excited about doing it because it’s new so we feel like doing it but once we are in this poison phase You know our experience is poison. A this is so difficult. I’ll give you it. But it is our intelligence which will tell us there is going to be an outcome for us. So that’s why we need to regularly nourish our intelligence. Intelligence means that this fire state that what will come in the bond and once we do that then we see okay. Okay. Where is the Can you get the books here?

Yeah.

What is the purpose of this life? What is the purpose of this life? Well, there are two aspects to it. One is universal and the other is individual. What I mean by that is that if you consider there’s a mountain and there’s a so now when a river moves toward the ocean the river all rivers have one universal purpose that is toward the ocean. But while they are going each river finds its own path towards the ocean and while the river is going towards the ocean that river provides life nourishing water to so many life forms along its banks. So similarly for us the purpose is both universal means we are all spiritual beings. We are all parts of God. We are all internal and we are all ultimately meant to return back to God. That is the universal purpose of life for him. And there is a individual purpose of life. So the individual is the path we take toward the motion. So that is determined by our talents, our interests, our resources. So that is something which we have to determine. So what is the purpose of my life? It’s to it’s to use the gifts that I have been given in a mode of service in a mood of contribution and thereby ultimately I reach God. So what so what we have is God’s gift to us. What we do with what we have is our gift to God.

So what we have is our gift to God. So you could say the first purpose of life is to discover what we have. Now often what happens? We are constantly comparing with others. Oh this person is smarter than me. This person is fairer than me. This person is taller than me. We only comparing others and thinking about what gifts we don’t have but just what do we have so discovering those gifts and then developing those gifts so what we have that is how the work finds its path towards the ocean so that way both life has a universe and individual purpose okay yes uh any like how you put everything in a small annotations and that really helps to clarify things. My question is like many of the times when we face problem at least my approach is I mostly tend to choose the flight approach in those problems like I used to go away those problems and when situation so happens that I cannot go away the fight becomes so much intrinsic becomes so drastic that the problem becomes more bigger in the way and most of the times like you draw that graph right so much Most of the times I believe it I does not give much reaction to much problems but sometimes it’s just so happens that the reaction is so large that it covers the whole previous snake I which I’m not giving the reaction to. Okay. So now when faced with problems either we try to run away from the problems or then we deal with them it’s it becomes a very bitter and severe fight which creates the problem at times. Yes, I think uh these are uh not uncommon ways of dealing with it. Quite often for each one of us we when we go through life let me put it this way that see when I’m going through life in a particular direction for all of us some of Obstacles do come up and it is not the problems themselves that are the problem. It is how strong is our purpose. If somebody goes from India for a bit of a study and then maybe they experience loneliness know they’re away from their family away from their friends and that studying is not so easy. They experience very difficulties. problem but then okay this is I’ve got this opportunity my parents have paid for the study I’ve taken loans right this is important I like the subject I’m interested I want to be there again so in general for us there is the sense of purpose that helps us move forward and there are problems that make us stop So now the whole question is is our purpose bigger than our purpose and now sometimes it may not be they say okay I want to get some friend and you just want to spend some more time with them when you’re going to meet your friend and the big storm along the way to meet the friend I go some other time with the problem is so big the purpose is on that day but suppose some family member has a health crisis and they got to be surgeon and we need to be there and there’s a st I want to go there so rather than focusing on the problem and how we deal with the problem we need to focus on the purpose okay what is really important for me so purpose how what do we mean by purpose over here is what really matters what is important that is what is largely indicative of our problems. So if we are only focusing on problems then the entire life becomes an exercise in problem minimizing but no matter how minim how much we minimize our problems what happens some problem or other will always keep coming so that’s why Krishna says this world is dala Dala means this world is a place of distress. Now that does not mean that we have to always be in distress and keep suffering. The point where Krishna says this world is dala is don’t make your decisions simply based on avoiding distress or avoiding problems like Arjuna saying if I fight there’s a problem I don’t fight there’s a problem I think if I don’t fight there’s a smaller problem so I’ll not fight. So but we if we are all that we doing in life is avoiding problems We will never be on what is become happy in life small problems will become very big for us. That’s why focus on a purpose and then okay what is what is important for me how do we decide that maybe decide that okay in 6 months what would I like in one year when I in 5 years when would I like now we can always be sure where will be in 5 months but at least some understanding of a direction we have So the purpose is is what is important. Try to focus on what is your purpose and then how we deal with problems will fall in place. Sometimes okay this problem has come better. I don’t need to deal with it. Sometimes okay this problem has come I have to deal with it but I have to remember I don’t want to die fighting this problem. I want to get this problem out of the way but I can move on with my life. So what is that saying? That if you have nothing to fight for If we don’t have anything to fight for then we will fight for anything. It’s not that we won’t fight. If you don’t have something big in our life, any small thing will become big and we’ll start fighting on it. So that’s why this extreme of flight and fight it is not big enough to fight again. How dare this I’ll fight also. That’s why focus on what is really worth fighting for now and then the fight or flight response will be more internet property. Okay, last question. As you mentioned earlier, there are some events in life, right? Uh so at times when what is the event about the the question comes like why this happened to me? So why this event came? So people often attribute it could be your karma which is karma or your destiny your bhak right and I just want to know that Whether these two things are different this is the right one or this is the wrong one and who is going to tell us so that cognizance in somebody how it’s going to so I think that’s that’s mostly I think what I want to ask

it’s impossible to answer this in short but okay I’ll try to answer it the question Question is that if we face something is it because of karma or bhag too different? Well the word karma has four different meanings and people often use the meanings interchangeably. It’s a r c the word ars karma can refer to the action karma Karma can also refer to the reaction that we get. Now karma can also refer to the connection. The law of karma. Law of karma means action will lead to reaction. That connection that is also called as karma. And then karma also refers to selection. That means we should select our karma carefully. This is used in the sense of dharma. Do the right thing. So karma can mean all these different things and in what context we are using it is important. So when we say is it baky and karma bhaky means destiny. So basically when I am going through life this is not my first life. I had a previous life and when I enter into this life there is a karma cloud above me that accompanies me throughout my life and from that karma cloud rain still coming down. So one major shower from it comes at my birth. Now some of it may be positive, some of it negative. Maybe we are born a wealthy family but maybe you know there are a lot of parl in the family. Maybe we have health, we have good looks but we don’t have don’t have the child or whatever. Then after that also throughout our life sometimes positive sometime negative situations keep coming. So that is the idea of karma in terms of the past karma’s reaction coming to go. So this is often called as a or destiny or kismouth or dying or whatever word used to call it. So now apart from that there is our present action that we do also. This is the action that we need to select. So in one sense we are always doing karma but are we doing Good car. Are we selecting our car? Say if you’re driving on a car, driving a car on the road. Now we driving that is current. But if you want to get to a particular destination, maybe a lot of traffic there are three routes. Which route should we take? Should we get as fast as that? That’s the selection. So now as far as the selection of karma is concerned that when we are doing a particular karma, so that karma in terms of action, action there is a moral dimension to it. And there’s a functional dimension. Moral dimension means there are certain acts which are right and certain which are wrong. Like papa we talk about. So for example eating involves killing of animals or intoxication involves putting poison into our own body. These are activities which are from a moral perspective wrong. So that is we study scripture and through scripture we develop our sense of moral our sense of the moral dimension of karma. But the functional dimension of karma we have to understand with our intelligence. So intelligence means that okay if I’m working in a particular job then now should I develop this skill or should I skill. So that’s something practical not it’s not a mind but both are skills you have to develop and now some new software should I use if I use AI should I use charging should I know generally there’s no karma in what you can say whatever karma is in what is similar but there it’s a functional perspective okay what do I want to do what strengths so that is practical engineers we need to use so in that sense karma is something which is practic dimension and there’s a functional dimension the functional dimension is where we learn how best can I play my role effectively so that is something should develop by If we study shastra and we come more to sata we’ll be able to also develop that sense of clarity or intelligence about how to move. So thank you very much.