For those facing academic failures, should we preach to them or offer them emotional support?

When new people come to bhakti, even after sincerely trying in their academic life, they may face some failures. In such situations, should we simply give them a supportive shoulder, or should we reach out with philosophy? I don’t think these two are mutually exclusive. Reaching out doesn’t mean only preaching philosophy—it’s just one aspect of our response.

In general, our mood should be to serve others. One important resource at our disposal is philosophy, but it is not the only one.

We should try to help them in whatever way we can. At the same time, we should recognize our limits—we are not therapists, nor can we take the place of family members. What we can do is be friends. We can give emotional support, but we should also be careful. If someone becomes emotionally dependent on us, we may not be able to be there for them constantly.

If a person is suffering from clinical depression, we are not qualified to treat them. But if they are experiencing routine sadness—say, after a failure—we can certainly offer motivational and encouraging words. We can try to energize them again, and that definitely is part of our service.

So, in our service mood, philosophy is like the primary tool in our toolkit, but not the only one. Developing a relationship, offering emotional support, and even practical assistance may also be required. For example, if someone loses a job, and in our community we know devotees with companies or contacts, we can try to connect them for practical help. Service can take many forms.

At the same time, we need balance. If in the many forms of support we provide, spirituality is completely absent, then the relationship becomes only material. If someone expects only emotional or practical help and shows no spiritual interest, we may eventually need to draw a line.

We need to avoid both extremes:

• One extreme is giving only philosophy—telling people just to chant Hare Krishna and everything will be fine, without offering any other support. This may help a few, but most will feel we are exploiting their pain to pull them into our path. That could actually push them away—becoming “anti-preaching.”
• The other extreme is giving only emotional or practical help. But how much capacity do we really have for that, and how long can we sustain it?

Therefore, some level of spirituality needs to be present in the support we offer. It may not be the first or most prominent component, but it should be there. Similarly, from their side, there should be at least some spiritual spark. Gradually—say after a few meetings—they should begin to show some spiritual interest. Otherwise, how long can we keep helping without that foundation?

This balance is also seen in Krishna’s dealings. For example, when Arjuna’s son died during the Kurukshetra war, Arjuna was devastated and even lashed out at his brothers, asking whether their weapons were just ornaments since none of them could protect his son. Krishna did not immediately give philosophy to Arjuna. Instead, He encouraged him with compassion, reminding him that bad things happen to everyone. The difference between the wise and the unwise is in how they respond to misfortune. The unwise act in ways that make things worse, while the wise act in ways that make things better. Krishna urged Arjuna not to speak words that would deepen his brothers’ pain, since they were also grieving. Krishna took a very humane and personal approach in that moment.

But later, in the Bhagavad-gita, Krishna did speak philosophy, inspiring Arjuna to do his duty. So, depending on the situation, Krishna used different tools from His toolkit—sometimes emotional, sometimes practical, sometimes philosophical—all with the purpose of uplifting Arjuna’s consciousness.

Similarly, we also need to use multiple tools. But we must remember that the ultimate purpose of our service and support is to help others grow in Krishna consciousness.