Why senior devotees may commit suicide?

Podcast:

Question:
When some senior devotees commit suicide, how do we understand it? They know the philosophy and have even guided others. So if they are well aware of their spiritual identity, then what is lacking in devotional life that even devotees may take such a step?

Answer:
Yes, these are very disturbing and distressing situations to encounter. The first thing to understand is that nobody commits suicide out of happiness. It means they were so unhappy that they preferred death over life.

Now, if someone knows the eternality of the soul and still prefers to end their life, it suggests that, in their own thinking, they hope the next birth will place them in a better situation—more bearable materially, emotionally, and perhaps even more favorable spiritually. Normally, those who lack atma-jnana (self-realization) end their lives because they feel that ending existence is better than continuing it due to unbearable distress or meaninglessness in this life. But when a devotee ends their life, it is usually not because they have lost their philosophical understanding, but because the emotions of distress are so overwhelming that they decide, “I will continue my bhakti in a future life,” praying to Krishna for a more favorable situation.

So, the philosophy is not forgotten, but it can be overpowered in consciousness by extreme circumstances. We often do not know the depth of what a person is going through, the distresses they have already faced, or those they are currently facing.

As a devotee community, we need to develop better systems of care and cultivate greater trust so that devotees feel safe to open up when troubled. They should be able to talk and receive assistance instead of feeling driven toward such extreme steps.

Sometimes, we have a reductionistic understanding of bhakti. What does devotional life mean? Is it just chanting the holy names? Is it just worshiping deities? No. Bhakti is not just one activity or even a set of activities. We ourselves say, bhakti is not a part of life—bhakti is our life. This means that bhakti wisdom is one part, but bhakti culture is another part, and the devotee community’s culture needs to be arranged so that all the needs of a devotee are cared for.

If devotion encompasses all aspects of life, does that mean it satisfies all needs by itself? For example, if a devotee is hungry, chanting alone will not mystically satisfy hunger. That is why we provide prasadam (sanctified food) separately, and we accept donations for that. We do not see prasadam as separate from bhakti; it is an integral part of it.

Just as physical care through food provision is part of bhakti, we also need to mature to the point where we see emotional care as part of bhakti. The body, mind, and soul are three distinct levels of reality, each with its own needs. Chanting or hearing the Bhagavatam alone cannot fulfill the body’s needs, which require food, rest, and proper care.

Similarly, the mind has needs—relationship, connection, belonging, acceptance. Sometimes devotees focus too much on spiritual standards, whether of behavior or philosophy. If someone’s understanding or behavior differs, we may condemn them heavily. Spirituality can increase judgmental attitudes because it gives us standards to evaluate others by. Anyone who falls short may be looked down upon. Such judgment can be very hurtful, alienating, and induce loneliness.

If someone already feels labeled a problematic devotee, they may hesitate to share their problems for fear of further condemnation. Therefore, while standards are important, human interactions need to emphasize warmth, connection, and a sense of belonging.

Sometimes, within devotee circles, this warmth is lacking due to conflicts or busy schedules where people have little time for genuine bonding. Often, bonding is treated as a tool for getting others to do tasks, not as authentic connection. This creates trust issues and prevents devotees from opening up when emotionally troubled.

We say chanting removes the mind’s problems, and mantra is indeed powerful, but what part of the mind does it heal? Some yoga traditions divide the mind into three parts: inner, middle, and outer. The inner mind connects with the soul, and chanting cleanses this level. The outer mind connects with the brain, body, and external world—it can still be agitated and distressed, especially when difficulties arise and there is no support.

Some may suffer from depression, which can be clinical or situational. Clinically, chemical imbalances lower dopamine and serotonin levels, causing a lack of energy or desire to do anything, material or spiritual.

If we misunderstand the philosophy and consider the decreasing of desires as spiritual advancement, we risk mistaking signs of depression for progress. Spiritual advancement is not a mere decrease of all desires, but a decrease of material desires with an increase in spiritual desires. True steadiness in duties, material and spiritual, involves neither excessive desires nor complete lack of desire.

If desires simply decrease without spiritual uplift, it may indicate depression rather than advancement. In such cases, clinical attention may be necessary, and this must be destigmatized. Seeking help from mental health professionals is not a devotional or moral failing. Just as one consults a doctor for physical illness, one may need mental health support.

Sometimes, due to tragic coincidences of past bad karma manifesting as emotional turmoil, combined with turbulent life circumstances, a person may find life unbearable. We need greater empathy to handle these situations without making a devotee’s death a reason to lose faith or question the sufficiency of bhakti.

Nothing is lacking in bhakti itself; what is lacking may be our understanding of bhakti. Bhakti means a culture that provides for all needs of a devotee. If, within a community, some needs remain unmet for any reason, instead of blaming the devotee for misunderstanding philosophy, the community should ask: What can we do to support devotees who feel low or depressed? What resources can we create to help?

This constructive approach is the lesson we can learn from such heartbreaking incidents.