18.35 Sustaining our determination is our responsibility

Thank you very much. Thank you. And in goodness.
So, now we will discuss about dhruti in ignorance. So, the fundamental characteristic of dhruti is that when it is aiming for transcendence, then it is at least connected with transcendence and going towards transcendence in goodness and then if it is metamortal enjoyment that is in fashion. So, now we will discuss about, it seems paradoxical to say that there is determination in ignorance.
But actually, every mode creates a certain kind of mentality and one is attached to that. So, there is that attachment to that kind of behaviour that is referred to as the determination. So, what is the determination? To not give up these kind of behaviours, is not give up.
And why does one not give up? Because of not just a less intelligence but misdirected intelligence or bad intelligence. Medha is intelligence, alpha medha is bad intelligence. So, what are the behaviours? Sopnam, bhayam, shokam, vishadam, madamevacham.
So, sopnam is dreaming. It can be excessive dreaming in the daytime or it can be night sleeping and dreaming, fantasising without doing anything practical. Daydreaming sometimes when the cricket world cup, cricket fever is there, people are just walking along the street and somebody is just moving his hand in an imaginary way, maybe hitting a sixer in the imagination.
People keep doing all kind of things. So, it is a sopnam, bhayam, shokam. So, another characteristic is fear, especially in terms of phobias and paranoias.
Phobia means irrational fear of something. So, that is actually the effect of tamoguna and paranoia is a persecution complex where somebody’s interactions, the whole world is out to push me down, to trample on me, to destroy me. So, that sort of bhaya, constant anxiety without any cause or without any specific measures to deal with it, that is generally characteristic of the mode of ignorance.
So, there is the bhaya of the bhavasagra that requires goodness and that is conducive for liberation. So, it is significant, Krishna uses the word bhaya earlier also with respect to buddhi. It is bhayam cha bhaya bheem vacham.
So, he says that one should be vandhamuksham chayavetti. So, he says bhaya about that which will cause bondage and no fear, fearlessness about doing the activity that will bring about liberation. So, that is a healthy fear.
So, the fear of the activity that cause bondage is a healthy fear. But there is this irrational fear based on the imaginary problems. So, the bhaya of the samsara sarpa is a general fear of material existence itself.
Whereas, this bhaya which is in the mode of ignorance is fear of some specific things based on one’s imagination. So, recently there was this big flashing of asteroids in Russia and that created a high electricity and glasses got discharged and the energy that was generated over there at that time, it happened in the atmosphere. So, the destruction was not so much.
But the energy generated was several times more than the energy of the atom bomb that were exploded. So, now because of the and this was nowadays with YouTube everything gets broadcast very quickly. So, the NASA has issued a public appeal to people.
Please pray to God to protect earth from asteroids. So, the official idea, ideology on which NASA is based is atheistic. But then they are atheistic, but they are also opportunistic.
And if they feel that, okay, people, we have some danger, then the sheer scope of the danger if it is there is so big, they just cannot deal with it. We become helpless in front of it. You remember I mentioned how when the tsunami came around, there was a proposal made that they put a build up wall all around Australia to protect it from tsunamis which might come.
So, initially as long as in the media, the images were there of hundreds of thousands of people devastated by tsunami, people were ready to shell out some money for it. But eventually the government abandoned the idea because they had two problems. So, if you build a wall, how tall, how thick? Because who knows how tall the tsunami will come and what velocity it will come.
If you spend so much money on building a wall, but if it is not tall enough, then all the money will go and destruction will also happen. So, in a sense, this is not to say that when there is a disaster, we should not try to do anything to deal with it. No, there has to be efficient management.
When there is a disaster, the fourth canto we see that the citizens are starving and that the citizens say that the digestive fire within us is not just burning in our stomach, it is burning our entire existence. So, at that time, Pruthu Maharaj was saying, good, you are getting realisation of Dukhalayaam Shashvatam. He didn’t say that.
He immediately works to provide relief. So, although there are disasters in the world, it is necessary for us to do whatever is required to deal with it, especially Kshatriyas. But the point is, when people just become paranoid about problems, very irrationally fearful, then that is a characteristic of the ignorance.
So, I discussed earlier about how there was not just one anecdote, there are many incidents like this happen. There is a lady who was very fearful that I will get cancer. And every three months, she will go and do test, expensive test to check whether he has got cancer.
And a doctor would tell you, you have not got any cancer. So, every three months she married and 24 years, every three months she was doing test. So, 96 times she did test.
After 24th year, she finally found that she had cancer. So, then she got the doctor’s report, see doctor, I was right. I was right.
So, now naturally we have to, it is good to detect cancer in the early stages. But this whole paranoia about what may happen, what may happen, what may happen, that is the result of the irrational fear, that is tamasika. So, in bhakti, we recognise that, okay, there is misery in this world.
And ultimately, we have to seek shelter beyond this miserable world, spiritual world. And while we are in this world, we have to make whatever arrangements we can to deal with it. So, suppose some people, a little sneeze or a little cough, immediately they want to take some antibiotics, maybe I have an infection, I have to remove the infection.
It is not that, that sort of medication itself creates further problems. So, that bhaya is when there is irrational fear, that is actually tamasika. Then shokam, shokam is lamentation.
So, Krishna will talk about Mahashucha at the end of the Bhagavad Gita also in 1866. In general, Yudhishthira Maharaj, actually in general lamentation does not serve any good purpose. So, in the Mahabharata, when Abhimanyu dies, so unfortunately at that time, so Yudhishthira Maharaj is utterly heartbroken.
And when he is this heartbroken, at that time, he feels that I am responsible for the death of Abhimanyu because I sent the 16-year-old boy into the Chakravyuha and I assured him that we will be behind you to protect, but I was not there and none of us were there to protect him. And I sent him there because I was concerned about my security. So, the Chakravyuha had been arranged by Dronacharya to capture Yudhishthira as Pandurudha requested.
So, he got so frenzied that he just started charging into the, so this was the evening time, suddenly the conches of the Kauravas had been blown and Pandurudha understood that Abhimanyu had passed away and had been killed inside. Yudhishthira Maharaj, in a fit of frenzy, he just charged with his chariot into the enemy forces, all alone. And he said, I cannot face Arjuna.
What will I say to him? Better that I die rather than, by this I can atone for the death of Abhimanyu. And as he was charging in, Bhima, Nakula, they tried to stop it, but he was just charging straight ahead into the enemy. And suddenly, at that time, Gyavasthi appeared.
And when Yudhishthira saw Gyavasthi was right in front of his chariot, Yudhishthira Maharaj got on his chariot, offered obeisances and then was completely distraught. So, he said, he told what had transpired on the battlefield and he said, how is this? How can, he was such a virtuous person and so heroic, how did such a thing happen? So, at that time, Yudhishthira Maharaj was very wise and structured like Gyavasthi. One of the things he said about this, grief does nothing except sap the energy of the grieving.
Grief does nothing except sap the energy of the grieving. Sap means to drain away. So, therefore, he says, do not indulge in grief, do not give in to grief.
So, determination and ignorance. So, Svapanam is what? Daydreaming, like that, fantasising, without doing anything. Bhayam is irrational fear, phobias and paranoia.
And then Shokam, this is actually, to some extent, is natural when something goes wrong. We will feel, we will feel some lamentation about it and it’s not that we are meant to be like robots and not feel any emotions. But over a period of time, we have to learn to control our emotions.
So, grief does nothing except sap the energy of the grieving, of those who indulge in it. So, in a sense, the whole reason for grief is the inability to accept reality, inability to accept that reality is not in my control and that reality has changed in a way that I do not like. So, this is, of course, very unpalatable to accept.
But if we have a spiritual perspective, then it is easier to overcome grief. Because we understand that even if things are not going according to my plan, then it’s not that things are going chaotically. There is a higher plan by which things are happening.
And that’s what Shri Narayan Chowdhury says, the inconceivable will of the Supreme Lord is perfect. If you follow it, you will realise it in due course of time. So, he says the will is perfect, it is also inconceivable.
But how will I understand that it is good? If you follow it, you will understand it in due course of time. So, therefore, please don’t flinch from your duty. It’s important that one doesn’t have given too much to show.
So, here the important point is that, in a sense, Nikhil Seshwara Prabhupada was also dreaming. When he was thinking about how he will preach all over the world and Prabhupada said there are temples and there are devotees, only time is separating us from such. So, actually speaking, that kind of dream is a vision.
And that vision inspires. But in general, when there is daydreaming, it is divorced from all action. One only dreams and one doesn’t do anything to deal with it.
So, in general, ignorance, the idea just keeps dreaming, dreaming, dreaming without doing anything practical to it. So, fantasising, divorced from all action, any practical action. So, it is said that, for an action without vision, vision without action is a dream, vision without action is a dream, and action without vision is a nightmare.
If I just keep, this will happen, this will happen, I don’t do anything, it’s just a dream, it doesn’t work. On the other hand, if there’s only action, but there’s no planning, there’s nothing, why am I doing all this? Then action soon becomes a nightmare. So, both are required.
So, now, Vishadi, Dheera Sutra, Krishna had talked about Vishadi, earlier also in the Kartabhu is in the Tamoguna. So, Vishada is lamentation. So, actually, Arjuna Vishada Yoga is an alternative name of the first chapter.
So, actually, Vishadi is, Shoka is actually lamentation, whereas Vishad is more like habitual lamentations. Vishad is depression. So, the difference between the two is, okay, a particular event happened, and I lament disproportionately, whereas some people are habitually pessimistic.
I always see the negative aspect of everything. Some people see the opportunities amidst problems, others see problems amidst opportunities. So, actually, how we pursue things determines our response towards them.
And although we say that Vishadam is habitual, habitual negativity or depression. So, although we do say that this world is a place of misery, the Vedic wisdom is not pessimistic, because beyond this miserable world is a joyful spiritual world. And ultimately, the message of the scriptures, the message of love is the message of hope.
It is a message of empowerment. It is not a message of gloom and doom. Yes, gloom and doom is there in this world, but the Bhagavad Gita enables us to rise beyond this world.
Especially, if a person is in Tamoguna, Tamoguna person is just not able to control anything in life because the person has no discipline, no clarity of thought, no purposefulness in action, that person just becomes depressed. So, remember we discussed about two kinds of depression. So, chronic depression is in Tamoguna.
Chronic depression is always depressed, there is a mode of ignorance and there is manic depression. Manic depression means there a person is rejected for some time and suddenly there are phases of hyperactivity and again there is rejection. So, that is actually alternation of mode of passion and ignorance, sometimes mode of passion and sometimes mode of ignorance.
Actually, Prabhupada is a Tadarajasthamobhava, what is that? Rajasthamobhava is Asabarachana. So, Asabarachana means he would say that all these are covered, these western countries are covered by the mode of ignorance and passion. So, now what is the Vishadam? Madamevacha, madame means intoxication.
Now, I said the main characteristic of determination in the mode of ignorance is, if you see all of these, the underlying characteristic is the stubborn unwillingness to face reality. They are all strategies, whether it is, these are not necessarily consciously formulated strategies, but they are all strategies at the subconscious level by which one does not want to face reality. So, I may go into a dream world of my own or I may just go into habitual depression where I think this world is bad or I have others create a dream world for me, that is entertainment or I take substances by which I create a dream world for myself, that is smoking, drinking, drugs, the whole common denominator is the unwillingness to face reality and why it is stubbornness is actually determination in a perverse form.
When there is determination for something harmful, something negative, that is called as stubbornness. So, this stubborn unwillingness to face reality, actually when a person dreams, the consequences can be quite disastrous for the finances, for the health, for the family and for the career, but just that mode of ignorance when it catches a person, person just is not, that infuses a person with the tamasic that determination that just does not let the person give it up. So, that is what happens with such people because they have themselves formed the ropes and every time they indulge in an activity, it is like we get bound to that activity, every indulgence binds us to that activity and subsequently the indulgence not only binds us, all indulgences, they make that rope thicker and tighter, thicker and tighter.
First time a person drinks, at that time, okay, a small rope of attachment is formed and every time a person drinks, every indulgence makes that rope thicker and tighter. So, the freedom becomes less and less. All of us also can find that we will have some level of determination in these also.
Now, many times we may observe that the way we are able to work, we may have worked in companies earlier or we may have studied in colleges earlier, sometimes the way we were able to work hard at that time, we find it difficult to work like that in Krishna’s service. Sometimes the people, like the Goswamis, they give up eating, sleeping, waiting, people when they are in their 40s, they also give up that. People may work for 20 hours, 25 hours and just eat something, whatever they get free and just keep working.
So, how do they work out like that? Actually speaking, what we can be determined about is largely dependent on our moods. If I am in passion, it is easy for me to be determined about passionate activities, but to be determined about goodness activities becomes difficult. So, when I am in passion, I have to do activity, running around, going here, doing that, yes, I can do that.
But if I sit down and study, it is like the determination just like if you have a pot of water with a leak below, what happens is you fill the pot, after half an hour, 45 minutes, the whole pot is gone. So, like that sometimes we hear, I ask you to study. So, you sit down to study, it goes 10, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, do some other things now.
And then by the rate of 45 minutes, 1 hour, what happens is the whole determination goes, when will this finish, I want to do some other things. Why is that? Because it depends on the mood that we are in. That is why the whole principle for an ashram is to dovetail our inclination with Krishna.
That is how whatever is our natural mood, when we, our primary service is compatible with that, then we can do it enthusiastically. And then we can dovetail our determination accordingly. Of course, we need some basic level of determination to follow our initiation vows, and to practise the principles of Brahmacharya, when we are Brahmacharyas.
But that is what we get by the spiritual association of devotees in the remembrance of Krishna. So, that determination also comes by the power of devotion. Here we are talking about determination in three modes.
So, as devotees, we need this both, that the spiritual component of determination, this material component of determination. And ultimately, I had asked Arnab in my discussion that Dhruv Maharaj’s determination, was it material or was it spiritual? He is a Kshatriya. And his entire objective was to gain a kingdom.
So, in that sense, there does not seem to be anything spiritual about his determination. Isn’t it? But the spiritual was two aspects. He was approaching Krishna and he was approaching through a spiritual master, who instructed him to practise devotional service, both his mother and his mother told him to practise devotional service.
So, by this, what happened is, he started off with a material determination. In the sense that the Kshatriyas cannot tolerate the dishonour. So, he could not tolerate the dishonour, but his fortune was that amid the dishonour, he was guided towards devotion.
So, the initial spark might have been material in his motivation. So, his determination initially was material, but because he connected with Krishna, it became spiritualised. Similarly, many times when we work hard, we will find that we are able to work hard in certain things and not in other things.
So, if our determination is spiritual, then we will be able to work hard for Krishna in whatever field we are in. Because it’s for Krishna. But that’s not the case for us.
Certain things we love to do and we can do them a lot for Krishna’s sake. Others we can’t. We don’t have to go into a negative mode where I’m not a devout devotee or whatever.
Our idea is, whatever we do for Krishna, we do for Krishna. And this is just an important point. The activities that we do in devotional service, sustaining our determination in KC.
So, if we look at our spiritual life, we will find that the various activities we do in KC will fall in three broad categories, which we like to do, which we don’t mind doing and which we don’t like to do. That means, there are certain activities, which as soon as they get an opportunity, I want to do it. Maybe somebody would like to say, like music.
So, as soon as they get an opportunity, they will pick up a new harmonium and try to learn the harmonium. Or as soon as they get an opportunity, they may want to learn some new tunes. So, there are these different kind of things, something which we like to do.
And others, okay. Every day there is Bhagavatam class. Sometimes I feel inspired, sometimes I don’t feel inspired.
But I know it’s my duty, I do it. So, I don’t mind doing it. There are some other things, which we just don’t like to do.
Maybe we are doing some services, some devotee whom we don’t like. Or maybe some service is just not compatible with our ritual or whatever. Now, the whole idea is, we can’t wish away our likes and dislikes.
We can’t say that, I should not be feeling this. No. I have a particular conditioning from the past.
And I will, if I feel the particular way, I just cannot wish away my feelings. So, we are not prisoners of our past, but we are its products. It’s not that just because in the past I was a particular way, I have to be like that all the time.
But I am the product of my past. So, if in the past, I like to study, I like to read a lot of books. Now, suddenly if I am told, no other books except Prabhupada books, I will feel intellectually choked by that.
So, then, if I need some other intellectual stimulation, not that we have to go outside devotional service to get that stimulation, but we can read other books, which enliven us a little bit. Not as our male pradhana, but what we need, we can take that. So, the principle here is that we cannot wish away our past.
We are products of the past. So, in our devotional service, the things that we like to do, we need to gain determination from that. And the things which we don’t like to do, we use that determination here.
What does this mean? That means that when we do certain activities, we feel inspired. For example, for example, like Sakhir was dancing, he was just forgetting everything in dancing and singing and exhilarating people. And when one does something like that, by that one feels relieved.
The battle with the temptations, with the misunderstandings, the inconveniences, all that other, just one forgets their temperament, one gets transported to some higher, one feels so enriched. And by that, we are able to deal with other things. So, although the process of Krishnamooyans is a standard for everyone, every one of us is an individual.
And where we gain determination, and where we need determination, we ourselves will have to observe. And if we don’t find that, we don’t observe these activities, then over a period of time, we’ll find our determination getting drained away. If we just habitually keep doing the activities we don’t like to do, in the name of surrender, then ultimately, our spiritual life is our responsibility.
The authorities will give us instructions, they will give us guidance, they will give us services. But to keep ourselves inspired, to keep ourselves motivated, to keep ourselves going on, it is our responsibility. So, we have to find out what is it that gives us strength, inspiration, determination, and use that.
And so, in everybody’s life, there will be activities which we don’t like. Now, we may, if we eventually become preachers, we may like to meet with people, and discuss with them, answer questions. But after some time, we may find that, there are so many people to meet.
And then you just feel that, okay, I just don’t want to meet anyone right now. So, it sometimes works that when we go out and preach, we invite people, come to the temple. And when they come to the temple, they say, I don’t want to meet anyone right now.
It may work like that sometimes in future. So, at that time, we have to observe, okay, this is happening, then I have to deal with it. So, certain days when it is very demanding, then I have to plan in such a way that I do the activities which give me strength before that, and then I face the other activities.
So, Radhak Mata said that, when he was in that upper temple on the hill, what was that? Radha Vrindavan Nath. So, at that time, because all the granthas were staying over there. So, he was the only brahmachari in that temple.
And everybody else was there. So, he said that every morning, I would chant my 16 rounds to get strength to go for the morning programme. So, there would be all these matajis in the programme.
They were dancing and singing. So, he said, I will stand right in front of the deities and take direction. So, actually, we may be placed in certain challenges, certain situations which sort of test our strength.
Then whatever gives us strength, we have to do that and we gain the strength back. So, taking inventory of our spiritual life and finding which activities fall in which category, that is our responsibility. Nobody else is going to do that for us.
Because it is a subjective experience, what makes me strong, what makes me inspired. Some other devotees may tell us, when we do certain activities, we look very happy. Now, it is good to go for yatras.
But some devotees may find yatras very physically strenuous. Then we may go as a duty. We may go as a duty and the services will go.
But then we also have to check whether things are inspiring me or not. And sometimes what happens is, it is not that the whole activity is uninspiring. It may happen that we are not doing that activity in the proper way.
We go for a yatra, but instead of within the yatra, associating with devotees who are inspired about the yatra, we associate with devotees who are all, I am like, oh, prasad is in common time, lectures are so long and you have to travel so much distance. And then naturally, we become pretty inspired. So, this does not necessarily mean that the activity itself is dream.
We have to find out within that activity, what is dream? And then we have to adjust ourselves. So, this sort of, in corporate language, they call it course correction. When you are going on a journey and sometimes it goes off track, we have to do course correction.
So, all of us have to keep doing course correction. You know, it is interesting that an aeroplane is off course 90% of the time, more than 90% of the time. So, it is the course, the continuous course correction that gets it to the destination.
So, why is it off course? Although the whole course is planned, this is Mumbai, this is Kolkata, let it go like this. But then there are winds and there are clouds and there are weather instabilities. And consciously, voluntarily or forcibly, the course may get disrupted.
If you see people are driving a car, so they are constantly, they have a steering wheel, little bit more this way, little bit more this way, little bit more this way. Why they have to do that? Because that is what this continuous course correction. So, like that, we also have to keep doing course corrections in our social life.
And by this, for example, this is a very simple thing also. Sometimes, we may find that while we are getting classes, making notes helps us. And other times, we may find actually making notes distracts us.
So, it is not that just somebody who makes notes is more serious than somebody who does not make notes. And it may also be different for different classes. Some classes where, you know, it is more than the content of the message, it is just the presence of the person that inspires us.
Some devotee loves so much that just being in their presence, looking at them, hearing from them, that is what inspires them. And that time, the content may not be so analytical and point wise. And then, you know, I am making notes may not be so inspiring.
Other devotees may find that actually, in the point wise analysis that is given, that is what is more valuable. So, it is not again a standard formula that we should always make notes or never make notes. It varies.
So, and for every one of us, it will be different. What inspires me? Ultimately, I am spending my time daily during classes. So, I should get strength from those classes.
How do I get that? That varies from person to person. So, in this way, we can observe our determination, what gives us determination and increase those activities as much as possible. Then we can be enthused in our emotions.
Actually, the whole process, why is this so important? Because the whole process of Sadhana Bhakti is based on voluntary force. Voluntary force on oneself. So, I have to force myself and I have to do it voluntarily.
To some extent, when we are living in a temple situation, there is some sort of external force. Everybody has to wake up in the morning. Everybody has to do this, this, this activities.
But it is voluntary. If somebody does not feel like doing it, somebody can leave. I do not think somebody can leave the temple.
Somebody can leave the process of Krishna consciousness also. So, ultimately, it is voluntary force on oneself and what will make us want to put that force? That is our conviction. That is our determination.
That is why where I get my determination from and how I use it, that is my responsibility. Any questions about this? Yes. Actually, if we do the services that we like to do, it will increase our ego.
But on the other hand, we can also do those services well and we get a quality as an output by that. So, what should we do? Actually, if everybody as a matter of principle is told to do things that they do not like to do, ours will be a society of miserable people. If we make it as a matter of principle, in the early days of our movement, there was this notion that surrender means doing what you do not like to do.
Well, that is true, but that is only occasional. The principle of Varanashram is everybody has to act, but everybody has to act according to their nature. So, here what happens in Varanashram is everybody has to face problems in material existence.
But Varanashram means that people are given the problems that they like to face, has to face in material existence. But Varanashram gives people the problems they like to face. What are the problems we like to face? If somebody is a Brahminical person, can you find a reference for this verse? Yes, I can find.
Look at the Vedas, do some search here, look at this verse, look at the translation and give it back. And somebody else is a Vaishya, can you find a reference for this verse? One lakh, lakh verses in the Vedas, 18,000 verses, how will I find it? Forget it. That somebody is Vaishya, you tell him, we have to raise points, like it very much.
So, actually the whole idea is doing activities against our nature is necessary for surrender. But it is not sustainable. It is not sustainable.
It is not continuously if I keep doing things which I don’t like to do, I will not be able to sustain myself anymore. So, from the authority’s point of view, they should engage devotees according to their nature. But from the subordinate’s point of view, subordinate should be ready to surrender.
This is what I am going to do. So, let me do it. Now, yes, we can become proud of the activity that we are good at doing.
But then that the challenge in there is that we maintain our humility based on philosophy. It is not that by making a mess of things will become humble. It doesn’t work out that way.
So, many people who make a mess of things and the mess of things doesn’t bring humility, it brings inferiority complex. So, we discussed earlier what is the difference between humility and inferiority complex. The difference essentially is inferiority complex is false ego frustrated.
Humility is false ego transcended. That is the difference. The first is inferiority complex is false ego frustrated.
I want to be great but I just cannot be great. People around me are so much better than me and everybody can do this better than me. I want to show the world how great I am but there is no way I can show it.
So, that is false ego frustrated. So, basically it is self-centred. The thought is I. How can I show that I am great? And humility is false ego transcended.
It is Krishna centred. I understand that as compared to Krishna’s greatness I am so tiny. What do I have in front of me? Let me not obsess by thinking about myself.
Let me try to think about Krishna and try to serve Krishna. So, rather than trying to cultivate an artificial kind of humility which can often go into inferiority complex by doing things which you don’t like to do and making a mess of things, we actually do things that we like to do, do them well and then buy philosophy. Remember that actually this is by Krishna’s grace that I am good at it.
So, we understand that even if I am good at something, how am I good at it? This body is not my body. This body is a gift of Krishna and the body has certain capacities of singing well, speaking well. It is Prakruti and Kriyamana.
Tomorrow I may get some throat infection. I may not be able to speak at all. I may get paralysis.
I may not be able to play Kartal, Samudandha. So, this body is not under my control entirely. Krishna has given it to me and I will use it in a series.
So, this sort of contemplation will increase our Krishna consciousness while also increasing our devotional productivity. I will do things effectively while also being Krishna conscious. So, the idea is if we are prayerful and contemplative, then we can remember the Krishna connection and also do things well.
But if we just as a matter of principle do things which we don’t like to do or can’t do well, then what will happen to the mission? How will the mission move forward? People need to see only these things. Otherwise, people cannot see transcendence. People see only material things.
When people come to the temple, they may see the deities and they may look at the beauty of the deity, but people also look around the temple and they see how well it is designed, how it is maintained and doing this requires competence. Similarly, with respect to preaching, if I am not very fluent, if I am not very logical, if I am not very organised in my classes, I may be speaking Krishna’s message, but people will not appreciate it. People want to get a coherent understanding of things.
Therefore, the material productivity, the material efficiency is also important. And we need to engage devotees and engage ourselves according to our needs. Now, this leads to a very important question, which is a little dicey and there are no direct answers.
Is dissatisfaction, if I am doing a particular service and I feel dissatisfaction, is dissatisfaction a sign of incompatibility? Okay, I do not feel satisfied doing the service, therefore, this is not my niche. Is it necessarily like that? There are several precautions over here. First is, the mind has a tendency to be always dissatisfied, to always find some reason for dissatisfaction, no matter how good things are.
So, that is why, just because I feel dissatisfied doing a service, I should not assume that this is not my niche. For many devotees, discovering what is one’s nature may take a long time, may take a long time. So, just because I feel dissatisfied doing a service, it is not that I have to give up that service, I demand that I do some other service.
It may just be that the mind is habitually dissatisfied, it just has that disease of dissatisfaction, whatever I do, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong. So, in the initial stages, that is why when you have the PT training programme, initial stages, it is good to get experience of a variety of services. And then over a period of time, you will observe, okay, I did this, I did this, I did this, what I feel most inspired about, what am I able to do better, and you can learn over a period of time.
So, if you just go on the waves of the mind, then we will become like rolling stones, we will never become steady in anything else. And beyond this, if our authorities want us to do a particular service, then it is best to try to do that service as much as possible. And if you find that it is not possible, then you can talk with them and they will always adjust, if the things are a really serious problem.
But in general, it is best, at least in the initial stages of our life, of our spiritual life, to try to do what we are told. By that, several things happen. First is we do not just remain at the mercy of the mind.
It is very dangerous to remain at the mercy of the mind. If we are given too much freedom in the early stages of our spiritual life, in companies, you know, when we talk so much about working according to our nature, even when we are working in companies, it is not that we are working according to our nature, many times. Many times people work in a particular company just because that is paying them a high salary.
There has to be some level of efficiency and compatibility with respect to the work. But people may just do it because they are earning from it. So, we cannot, we are not even so finicky about compatibility in our material life.
So, many times we subordinate compatibility to career aspirations. Now, I want to, I want to earn a lot of money, I want to be in a big post, I want to have fame and position. Therefore, I will work even if I do not like to work.
So, it is not that suddenly when we come to spiritual life, we have to become very finicky about discovering our nature. Finicky means very particular. So, you know, we can subordinate our nature to our long-term stability in emotional life.
I should get experience of various services, do what I am supposed to do, what I am told to do. And over a period of time, as we observe and learn about ourselves, see, we talk about discovering ourselves. So, discovering ourselves is not just discovering ourselves as the Atma.
Discovering ourselves is also discovering our set of conditions. Okay, these are my conditioning, these are my limitations, these are my strengths, and this is how I should live my life. So, that we can, whenever we are doing these services, we observe a period of time.
And then we can, over a period of time, naturally, we will gravitate towards the services that we like to do. And that’s how we will go on lifelong in our services. The longevity will come by that natural gravitation towards the services that we like to do.
And how this will happen? We can’t predict it at this time. We can’t predict it. It is actually an expression of surrender to Krishna.
Krishna has a plan. Now, Krishna takes care of everyone. Lokas se vasana panod karo, dasya sthikam na kshama.
Upananda Maharaj, Stotra Kula Shekhar Maharaj says that, ah, my lord, I’m confident that you will protect me and you will take care of me. Why? He says, you take care of even the materialistic people who just come for getting something from you. They don’t, they’re not trying to develop a relationship with you.
They’re not trying to become your servants. But you take care even of them. So, then why will you not take care of me when I’m trying to serve you and devote myself to your service entirely? Lokas se vasana panod karo.
Lokas se vasana panod karo. You destroy their problems. Dasya sthikam na kshama.
Why will you not tolerate your devotee? Why will you not take care of your devotee? So, that’s why as devotees, it’s best to get an experience of various services and be observant about our competency and compatibility. Am I competent in this? And do I feel compatible in doing this? Be observant. And over a period of time, gradually by Krishna’s plan, we will gravitate towards the service that is according to our nature.
And actually speaking, there is Brahman Kshatriya Vaisheshudra, but also there is the whole concept of mingling of the castes because of inter-caste being. So, it’s not that we have a particular propensity only. Most devotees require a blend of everything.
There are very few devotees who can do only say Vaishya type activities. I’ll do fundraising, I’ll do this, I’ll do that. There are only very few devotees who can do only Kshatriya type activities.
Just to manipulate, not to bother about anything else. Very few devotees can do only Brahmanical activities. In general, in our spiritual life, we will have to do a little bit of everything.
Eventually, it will become, if we get our own project, some youth centre or some project, then we may have to do a combination of everything. Akshara Prabhupada, when he went to America, he accelerated Brahman Kshatriya Vaisheshudra all activities. He would clean the temple hall, clean the plates of the devotees and then after that take prasadam.
So, you could call that cleaning the Kshatriya Vaisheshudra activity. He himself would plan about how to get funds. He would go around distributing his own books.
Negotiate land deals and other financial matters and then he would manage himself. You do this service, you do this service. Relative responsibilities and of course, he would give classes and write books.
So, in a sense, as a Vaishna, as a devotee in a moment, we will generally have to do all activities. So, and we will find that just trying to do one activity exclusively or excessively will lead to again lack of sustainability. That’s why going back to the previous one, I talked about here, we will find that say, if our prominent nature is Kshatriya type nature, then we will get our primary satisfaction from getting things done.
Do some event management, do some things. Oh, we distributed so many books, we managed this yatra, we are doing this project. So, that’s what gives us primary strength.
We study scriptures also, we will speak Vaishna scriptures also, but at the end of the day, what gives us satisfaction? Yes, I did this Mukhlob Ghat, I did this Vaishna service. So, that is something which we feel, this is my worthwhile contribution. This is what I would like to do.
For somebody else, it might be like, I want to study and I want to give these classes and I want to help devotee understanding philosophy better. And Prabhupada wrote all the books, I have read every single one of the books of Prabhupada several times. This is my satisfaction.
Then I have spoken on that. So, all of us, over a period of time, we will see that we will be doing all the activities that are there. We may do Brahman, Kshatriya, Vaishya activities, but some of those activities will give us strength and we want to do them more and more.
And some of the other activities will require us to expand our strength. And spiritual life is basically a balancing between all these. Sometimes we do one more, sometimes we do one less.
And that’s how we move out. Any questions about this? Yeah. Yes.
Good. Must do, need do, must do, need to do. Yeah, must do, need to do, must do, need to do and like to do.
Good. Yes. Good analysis.
So, the must do may require our strength and like to do and the need to do both give us strength. The need to do may not always, they are not the activities which we feel important. But sometimes the need to do activities are such that they require strength initially to do, but after you do it, you get strength also.
Sometimes chanting may demand our determination. I have to consecrate. But some days we find that we just make the discipline of chanting.
Sometimes the chanting becomes so good, initially sometimes the first two to three rounds are very distracting. Sometimes we just go into zone and we get absorbed. And so some activities require initially that you have to expand strength, but then gradually after that we get strength in the activities.
That’s how it works. So, it’s dynamic. And we manage our determination by observing our consciousness, by observing our motivation level and adjusting accordingly.
Any other question? So, actually, this was just this, we spent a lot of time on this one verse, but the concept of determination is very important for our spiritual life. And that’s why this is, this will largely relate with happiness and victory mode. I’ll take that very shortly in the next class.
And I’ll discuss about one more concept in our spiritual life, in our brahmachari life. Because all of you are also ending the BT course now. So, I felt that something important about brahmachari life also we’ll discuss a bit.

Disclaimer: This transcript was generated using AI and may contain occasional errors or inaccuracies.

So we were discussing the karma-karma, then muddhi, dhruti and now we will discuss about the sukha. This is the analysis of jnana which a karma yogi possesses by which the karma yogi stays free from bondage. So we discussed about the karma in two parts, sorry not the karma, the dhruti.

Discussed the dhruti in passion and in goodness. So now we will discuss about dhruti in ignorance. So the fundamental characteristic of dhruti is that when it is aiming for transcendence then it is at least connected with transcendence and going towards transcendence and goodness.

When it is aiming for better mental enjoyment that is in passion. So now we will discuss about, it seems paradoxical to say that there is determination and ignorance. But actually every mode creates a certain kind of mentality and one feels attached to that.

So there is that attachment to that kind of behavior that is referred to as the determination mode. So what is the determination? Which is na vimunchati durmedha. To not give up these kind of behaviors, na vimunchati is to give up, na vimunchati is not give up.

And why does one not give up? Durmedha. Because of not just a less intelligence but misdirected intelligence or bad intelligence. Medha is intelligence, alpha medha is intelligence, durmedha is bad intelligence.

So what are the behaviors? Sapnam, bhayam, shokam, vishadam, madamevacham. So sapnam is dreaming. It can be excessive dreaming in the day time, it can be nights sleeping and dreaming, fantasizing without doing anything practical.

Day dreaming sometimes when the cricket world cup, cricket fever is there, people are just walking along the street and somebody is just moving his handle and I imagine that he may be hitting a sixer in the imagination. People keep doing all sort of things. This is sapnam.

Bhayam, shokam. So another characteristic is fear, especially in terms of phobias and paranoias. Phobia means irrational fear of something.

So that is actually the effect of tamoguna. And paranoia is a persecution complex where somebody's interactions, the whole world is out to push me down, to trample on me, to destroy me. So that sort of bhaya, constant anxiety without any cause or without any specific measures to deal with it, that is generally characteristic of the mode of ignorance.

So there is the bhaya of the bhavasagra. That requires goodness and that is conducive for liberation. So in Siddhartha Krishna uses the word bhaya earlier also with respect to buddhi.

It is a bhayam cha bhayam in nature. So he says that one should be vandham moksham chaya vetti. So he says bhaya about that which will cause bondage and no fear, fearlessness about doing the activity that will bring about liberation.

So that is a healthy fear. So the fear of the activity that causes bondage is a healthy fear. But there is this irrational fear based on this imaginary problems.

So the bhaya of the samsara sarpa is a general fear of material existence itself. Whereas this bhaya which is in the mode of ignorance is fear of some specific things based on one's imagination. So recently there was this big flashing of asteroids in Russia and that created a high electricity and glasses got discharged and the energy that was generated over there at that time, it happened in the atmosphere so the destruction was not so much.

But the energy that was generated was several times more than the energy of the atom bomb that were exploded. So now because of the and this was now a days with YouTube everything gets broadcast very quickly. So NASA has issued a public appeal to people.

Please pray to god to protect earth from asteroids. The official idea, ideology on which NASA is based is atheistic. But then they are atheistic but they are also opportunistic.

And if they feel that okay people we have some dangers and the sheer scope of the danger if it is there is so vague that just can't deal with it. We become helpless in front of it. You remember I mentioned how when the tsunami came around there was a proposal made that they put a build up wall all around Australia to protect it from tsunamis which might come.

So initially as long as in the media the images were there of hundreds and thousands of people devastated by tsunami people were ready to shell out some money for it. But eventually the government abandoned the idea because they had two problems. If you build a wall how tall, how thick? Because who knows how tall the tsunami will come and what velocity it will come.

If you spend so much money on building a wall but if it is not tall enough then all the money will go and destruction will also happen. So in a sense this is not to say that when there is a disaster we should not try to do anything to deal with it. No, there has to be efficient management.

When there is a disaster in the fourth canto we see that the citizens are starving. At that time the citizens say that the digestive fire within us is not just burning in our stomach it is burning our entire existence. So at that time Buddha Maharaj was saying good you are getting realization.

He didn't say that. He immediately works to provide relief. So although there are disasters in the world it is necessary for us to do whatever is required to deal with it especially Kshatriyas.

But the point is when people just become paranoid about problems, very irrationally fearful then that is a characteristic of the fourth ignorance. So I discussed earlier about how there was not just one anecdote, there are many incidents like this happen. There is a lady who was very fearful that I will get cancer and every three months she will go and do test, expensive test to check whether he will get cancer.

And a doctor would tell you that you have not got any cancer. So every three months she went and 24 years, every three months she was doing test. So 96 times she did test.

After 24th year she finally found out that she had cancer. So she went to the doctor and said see doctor I was right. I was right.

So now naturally we have to, it is good to detect cancer in the early stages. But this whole paranoia about what may happen, what may happen, what may happen that is the result of the irrational fear. That is tamasika.

So in bhakti we recognize that okay there is misery in this world and ultimately we have to seek shelter beyond this miserable middle world, this spiritual world. And while we are in this world we have to make whatever arrangements we can to deal with it. So suppose some people, little sneeze or little cough, immediately they want to take some antibiotics, maybe I have some infection, I have to remove the infection.

It is not that, that sort of medication itself creates further problems. So that bhaya is when there is irrational fear, that is actually tamasika. Like the shokam.

Shokam is lamentation. So Krishna will talk about Mahashucha at the end of the Bhagavad Gita also in 1866. In general Yudhishthira Maharaj, actually in general lamentation doesn't serve any good purpose.

So in the Mahabharata when Abhimanyu dies, so unfortunately at that time, so Yudhishthira Maharaj is utterly heartbroken. And when he is heartbroken, at that time he feels that I am responsible for the death of Abhimanyu because I sent the 16 year old boy into the Chakravyuha and I assured him that we will be behind you to protect. But I was not there and none of us were there to protect him.

And I sent him there because I was concerned about my security. Because the Chakravyuha had been arranged by Dronacharya to capture Yudhishthira as per Duryodhana's request. So he got so frenzied that he just started charging into the… So this was the evening time, suddenly the conches of the Kauravas had been blown and Pandavas understood that Abhimanyu had passed away and had been killed inside.

Yudhishthira Maharaj in a fit of frenzy, he just charged with his chariot into the enemy forces all alone. And he said I cannot face Arjuna. What will I say to him? Better that I die rather than… By this I can atone for the death of Abhimanyu.

And as he was charging in, Bhima, Nakula, they tried to stop him. But he was just charging straight ahead into the enemy camp. And suddenly at that time Jagasthi appeared.

And when Yudhishthira saw Jagasthi right in front of his chariot, he got on his chariot, offered obeisances. And there he was completely distraught. So he said, he told what had transpired in the battlefield.

And he said, how is this? He was such a virtuous person and so heroic. How did such a thing happen? So at that time, Yudhishthira Maharaj was very worried. Why is instruction by Jagasthi? One of the things he said was this, Greed does nothing except sap the energy of the greed.

Greed does nothing except sap the energy of the greed. Sap means to drain away. So therefore it says do not indulge in greed, do not give in to greed.

So determination and ignorance. Praya, Swapnam, Bhayam, Shokam, Vishadam, Madhamevacham. Swapnam is what? Daydreaming, fantasizing, love doing anything.

Bhayam is irrational fear. Phobia and paranoia. And then Shokam, this is actually to some extent is natural when something goes wrong.

We will feel some lamentation about it. And it's not that we are meant to be like robots and not feel any emotions. But over a period of time we have to learn to control our emotions.

So greed does nothing except sap the energy of the greed. Of those who indulge in it. So in a sense the whole reason for greed is the inability to accept reality.

Inability to accept that reality is not in my control. And that reality has changed in a way that I do not like. So this is of course very unpalatable to accept.

But if we have a spiritual perspective then it is easier to overcome greed. Because we understand that even if things are not going according to my plan then it's not that things are going chaotically. There is a higher plan by which things are happening.

And that's what Shri Narayan has told when Vyabhadeva Solai says the inconceivable will of the Supreme Lord is perfect. If you follow it you will realize it in due course of time. So he says the will is perfect but it is also inconceivable.

But how will I understand that it is good? If you follow it you will understand it in due course of time. So therefore please don't flinch from your duty. It's important that one doesn't have given too much to show.

So here the important point is that in a sense we could say that Prabhupada was also dreaming. When he was thinking about how he will preach all over the world and Prabhupada said there are temples and there are devotees. Only time is separating us from such.

So actually speaking that kind of dream is a vision. And that vision inspires. But in general when there is daydreaming it is divorced from all action.

One only dreams and one doesn't do anything to deal with it. So in general ignorance the idea is he just keeps dreaming without doing anything practical to deal with it. So fantasizing is divorced from all action.

Any practical action. So it is said that an action without vision is a dream. An action without vision is a nightmare.

If I just keep, this will happen, this will happen. I don't do anything. It's just a dream.

It doesn't work. On the other hand if there is only action but there is no planning. Why am I doing all this? That action soon becomes a nightmare.

So both are required. या सप्नम्मयम्शुर्कम् विशादम् मदवेवच्छ So now Vishadi Deerina Sutricha. Krishna had talked about Vishadi earlier also in the Kartabhu is in the Tamoguna.

So Vishada is lamentation. So actually Arjuna Vishada Yoga is an alternative name of the first chapter. It is Sainidhi Riksha Yoga or Arjuna Vishada Yoga.

So actually Vishadi is Shoka is actually lamentation whereas Vishada is more like habitual lamentation. Vishada is depression. So the difference between the two is, okay a particular event happened and I lament disproportionately whereas some people are habitually pessimistic.

I always see the negative as everything. Some people see the opportunities amidst problems, others see problems amidst opportunities. So actually how we perceive things determines our response towards them.

And although we say that Vishadam is habitual Vasa, habitual negativity or depression. So although we do say that this world is a place of misery, actually the Vedic wisdom is not pessimistic because beyond this miserable world is a joyful spiritual world. And ultimately the message of the scriptures is the message of love.

It is the message of hope. It is the message of empowerment. It is not a message of gloom and doom.

Yes, gloom and doom is there in this world. But the Bhagavad Gita enables us to rise beyond this world. Especially if a person is in Tamoguna, Tamoguna person is just not able to control anything in life because the person has no discipline, no clarity of thought, no purpose, fullness in action.

That person just becomes depressed. So remember we discussed about two kinds of depression. So chronic depression is in Tamoguna.

Chronic depression is always depressed. This is in M, Morphic levels. And there is manic depression.

Manic depression means there a person is rejected for some time and suddenly there are phases of hyperactivity and again there is rejection. So that is actually alternation of mode of passion and ignorance. Sometimes mode of passion and sometimes mode of ignorance.

And Shri Prabhupada is a Tadarajasthamobhava, what is that? Ajatamobhava, Esabarachana. So Esabarachana we would say that all these western countries are covered by the mode of ignorance and passion. So now what is Abhishadam? Madhamevacha.

Madhame means intoxication. I said the main characteristic of determination in the mode of ignorance is if you see all of these, the underlying characteristic is the stubborn unwillingness to face reality. They are all strategies.

These are not necessarily consciously formulated strategies. But they are all strategies at a subconscious level by which one doesn't want to face reality. So I may go into a dream world of my own or I may just go into a habitual depression where this world is bad or I have others create a dream world for me.

That is entertainment. Or I take substances by which I create a dream world for myself. That is smoking, drinking, drugs.

The whole common denominator is the unwillingness to face reality. And why it is stubbornness is actually determination in a perverse form. When there is determination for something harmful, something negative, that is called as stubbornness.

So there is stubborn unwillingness to face reality. Actually when a person dreams, the consequences can be quite disastrous for the finances, for the health, for the family and for the career. But just that mode of ignorance when it catches a person, that infuses a person with a tamasic routine.

That determination that just doesn't let the person give it up. So that's what happens with such people because they have themselves formed the ropes. Now every time we indulge in an activity, it's like we get bound to that activity.

Every indulgence binds us to that activity. And subsequently the indulgence not only binds us, but all indulgences they make that rope thicker and tighter. Thicker and tighter.

First time a person drinks, at that time a small rope of attachment is formed between them. And every time a person drinks, every indulgence makes that rope thicker and tighter. So the freedom becomes less and less.

All of us also can find that we will have some level of determination in these also. Now many times we may observe that the way we are able to work, we may have worked in companies earlier or we may have studied in colleges earlier. Sometimes the way we were able to work hard at that time, we find it difficult to work like that in Krishna's service.

Sometimes the people like the Goswamis, they give up eating, sleeping, waiting. They also give up the idea of being able to work for 20 hours, 25 hours, and just eat something, whatever they get free and just keep working. So how do they work out like that? Actually speaking, what we can be determined about is largely dependent on our moods.

If I am in passion, it is easy for me to be determined about passionate activities. But to be determined about goodness activities becomes difficult. So when I am in passion, I have to do activity, running around, going here, going there.

I can do that. But if I sit down and study, it is like the determination just, like if you have a pot of water, it will leak below. What happens is you fill the pot, after half an hour, the whole pot is gone.

So like that sometimes we hear, I ask you to study. So you sit down to study, it goes 10-15 minutes every night, 20 minutes, 30 minutes. Do some other things now.

And then by the rate of 45 minutes, 1 hour, what happens is the whole determination goes. When will this finish? I want to do some other things. Why is that? Because it depends on the mood that we are in.

That's why the whole principle for an ashram is to dovetail our inclination in Krishna's service. Whatever is our natural mood, when our primary service is compatible with that, then we can do it enthusiastically. And then we can dovetail our determination accordingly.

Of course, we need some basic level of determination to follow our initiation vows and to practice the principles of Brahmacharya when we are Brahmacharis. But that is what we get by the spiritual association of devotees in the remembrance of Krishna. So that determination also comes by the power of devotion.

Here we are talking about determination in three modes. So as devotees, we need this both. There is a spiritual component of determination, there is a material component of determination.

And ultimately, I had asked Anand Mahatma this question that Guru Maharaj's determination, was it material or was it spiritual? He was a Kshatriya and his entire objective was to gain a kingdom. So in that sense, there doesn't seem to be anything spiritual about his determination. Isn't it? But the spiritual was two aspects.

He was approaching Krishna and he was approaching through a spiritual master who instructed him to practice devotional service. Both his mother and his mother-in-law told him to practice devotional service. So by this, what happened is, he started off with a material determination.

In the sense that the Kshatriyas cannot tolerate the dishonor. So he could not tolerate the dishonor, but his fortune was that amidst the dishonor, he was guided towards devotion. So the initial spark might have been material in his motivation.

So his determination initially was material. But because he connected with Krishna, it became spiritualized. Similarly, many times when we work hard, we will find that we are able to work hard in certain things and not in other things.

So if our determination is spiritual, then we will be able to work hard for Krishna in whatever field we are in. Because it's for Krishna. But that's not the case for us.

Certain things we love to do and we can do them a lot for Krishna's sake. Others we can't. We don't have to go into a negative mood where I am not so advanced devotee or whatever.

Our idea is whatever we can do for Krishna, we do it for Krishna. And this is just an important point. The activities that we do in devotional service, sustaining our determination in KC.

So if we look at our spiritual life, we will find that the various activities we do in KC will fall in three broad categories. Which we like to do, which we don't mind doing and which we don't like doing. That means there are certain activities which as soon as they get an opportunity, I want to do it.

Maybe somebody would like to say, like music. So as soon as they get an opportunity, they will pick up a new harmonium and try to learn the harmonium. Or as soon as they get an opportunity, they may want to learn some new tunes.

So there are these different kind of things, something which we like to do and others okay. Everyday there is Bhagavatam class, sometimes I feel inspired, sometimes I don't feel inspired. But I know it's my duty, I do it.

So I don't mind doing it. There are some other things which we just don't like to do. Maybe we are doing some services, some devotional we don't like.

Or maybe some services are just not compatible with our nature or whatever. Now the whole idea is we can't wish away our likes and dislikes. We can't say that I should not be feeling this.

No, I have a particular conditioning from the past. And if I feel in a particular way, I just cannot wish away my feelings. So we are not prisoners of our past, but we are its products.

It's not that just because in the past I was a particular way, I have to be like that all the time. But I am the product of my past. So if in the past I like to study, I like to read a lot of books.

Now suddenly if I am told, you should read no other books except Prabhupada's books. I will feel intellectually choked by that. So then if I need some other intellectual stimulation, not that we have to go outside devotional service to get that stimulation, but we can read other books which enliven us a little bit.

Not as our main sadhana, but what we need we can take that. So the principle here is that we cannot wish away our past. We are products of the past.

So in our devotional service, the things that we like to do, we need to gain determination from that. And the things which we don't like to do, we use that determination here. What does this mean? That means that when we do certain activities which we feel inspired about, for example, like Sakhir was dancing, just forgetting everything in dancing and singing and exhilarating people.

And when one does something like that, by that one feels relieved. The battle with the temptations, the misunderstandings, the inconveniences, all that are there, just one forgets that temperament, one gets transported to some higher, one feels so enriched. And by that we are able to deal with other things.

So although the process of Krishna consciousness is standard for everyone, every one of us is an individual. And where we gain determination and where we need determination, we ourselves will have to observe. And if we don't observe these activities, then over a period of time we will find our determination getting drained away.

If we just habitually keep doing the activities which we don't like to do, in the name of surrender, then ultimately our spiritual life is our responsibility. The authorities will give us instructions, they will give us guidance, they will give us services. But to keep ourselves inspired, to keep ourselves motivated, to keep ourselves going on, it is our responsibility.

So we have to find out what is it that gives us strength, inspiration, determination. And use that. And observe in everybody's life.

There will be activities which we don't like. We may eventually become preachers. We may like to meet with people and discuss with them, answer questions.

But after some time we may find that there are so many people to meet. And then we just feel that okay, I just don't want to meet anyone right now. So, it sometimes works that when we go out and preach, we invite people to come to the temple.

And when they come to the temple, they say, I don't want to meet anyone right now. It may work like that sometime in the future. At that time, we have to observe.

Okay, this is happening, then I have to deal with it. So certain days when it is very demanding, then I have to plan in such a way that I do the activities which give me strength before that, and then I face the other activities. So Radhakamala says that when he was in that upper temple on the hill, what is that Radha Vrindavan Nath? So at that time, because all the Granthas were staying over there, so he was the only Brahmachari in that temple.

And everybody else was there. So he said that every morning I would chant my 16 rounds to get strength to go for the morning program. So there would be all these Matajis in the program, they would be dancing and singing.

So he said I would stand right in front of the Deities and take darshan. So actually, we may be placed in certain challenges, certain situations which sort of test our strength. Then whatever gives us strength, we have to do that and we gain the strength back.

So taking inventory of our spiritual life and finding which activities fall in which category, that is our responsibility. Nobody else is going to do that for us. Because it is a subjective experience, what makes me strong, what makes me inspired.

Some other devotees may tell us, when we do certain activities, we look very happy. Now it is good to go for Yatras, but some devotees may find Yatras very physically strenuous. Then we may go as a duty.

And if there is a service, we will go. But then we also have to check whether things are inspiring me or not. And sometimes what happens is, it is not that the whole activity is uninspiring, it may happen that we are not doing that activity in the proper way.

We go for a Yatra, but instead of within the Yatra, associating with devotees who are inspired about the Yatra, we associate with devotees who are all brahmaling, all prasads and kamandahs, lexals are so long and you have to travel so much distance. And then naturally we become de-inspired. So this doesn't necessarily mean that the activity itself is dream.

We have to find out within that activity, what is dream. And then we have to adjust ourselves. So this sort of, in corporate language they call it course correction.

When you are going on a journey and sometimes it goes off track. We have to do course correction. So all of us have to keep doing course correction.

You know, it's interesting that an airplane is off course 90% of the time. More than 90% of the time sometimes. So, it is the continuous course correction that gets it to the destination.

So why is it off course? Although the whole course is planned, this is Mumbai, this is Kolkata, they have to go like this. But then there are winds and there are clouds and there are weather instabilities. And consciously, voluntarily or forcibly, the course may get disrupted.

If you see people are driving a car, they are constantly having steering wheel, little bit more this way, little bit more this way. Why they have to do that? Because that's what is continuous course correction. So like that, we also have to keep doing course corrections in our social life.

And by this, for example, this is a very simple thing also. Sometimes we may find that while we are getting classes, making notes helps us. And other times we find actually making notes distracts us.

So it's not that just somebody who makes notes is more serious than somebody who doesn't make notes. And it may also be different for different classes. Some classes where it's more than the content of the message, it is just the presence of the person that inspires us.

Some devotees, we love so much that just being in their presence, looking at them, hearing from them, that's what inspires us. And that time, the content may not be so analytical and point-wise. And then making notes may not be so inspiring at that time.

Other devotees, we find that actually point-wise analysis that is given, that's what is more valuable. So it's not again a standard formula that we should always make notes or never make notes. It varies.

And for every one of us, it will be different. What inspires me? Ultimately, I'm spending my time daily in hearing classes. So I should get strength from those classes.

How do I get that? There are very few persons who do this. So in this way, we can observe our determination, what gives us determination, and increase those activities as much as possible. Then we can be infused in our demonic cells.

Actually, the whole process, why is this so important? Because the whole process of sadhana bhakti is based on voluntary force. Voluntary force on oneself. So I have to force myself and I have to do it voluntarily.

To some extent, when we are living in a temple situation, there is some sort of external force. Everybody has to wake up in the morning. Everybody has to do these activities.

But it's voluntary. If somebody doesn't feel like doing it, somebody can leave. Not only can somebody leave the temple, somebody can leave the process of Krishna consciousness also.

So ultimately, it's voluntary force on oneself. And what will make us want to put that force? That is our conviction. That is our determination.

That's why where I get my determination from and how I use it, that is my responsibility. Any questions about this? Actually, if we do the services that we like to do, it will increase our ego. But on the other hand, we can also do those services well.

And we get a quality as an output by that. So what should we do? Actually, if everybody as a matter of principle is told to do things that they don't like to do, ours will be a society of miserable people. Isn't it? If we make it as a matter of principle, in the early days of our movement, there was this notion that surrender means doing what you don't like to do.

Well, that is true, but that is only occasional. The principle of Varanashram is everybody has to act, but everybody has to act according to their nature. So here, what happens in Varanashram is everybody has to face problems in material existence.

But Varanashram means that people are given the problems that they like to face. That is to face in material existence. But Varanashram gives people the problems they like to face.

What are the problems we like to face? If somebody is a Brahminical person, can you find a reference for this verse? Yes, I can find. Look at the Vedas, do some search here. Look at this verse, look at the translation and give it back.

And somebody else is a Vaishya, can you find a reference for this verse? One lakh, lakh verses in the Vedic scriptures, 18,000 verses, how will I find it? Forget it. That somebody is Vaishya, we have to raise points. I like it very much.

So actually, the whole idea is doing activities against our nature is necessary for surrender. But it is not sustainable. Continuously if I keep doing things which I don't like to do, I will not be able to sustain myself anymore.

So, from the authorities point of view, they should engage devotees according to their nature. But from the subordinates point of view, subordinates should be ready to surrender. This is what I am told to do, so let me do it.

Now, yes, we can become proud of the activities that we are good at doing. But then, the challenge in there is that we maintain our humility based on philosophy. It is not that by making a mess of things we will become humble.

It doesn't work out that way. So many people who make a mess of things and the mess of things doesn't bring humility, it brings inferiority complex. So, we discussed earlier, what is the difference between humility and inferiority complex.

The difference essentially is inferiority complex is false ego frustrated. Humility is false ego transcendent. That is the difference between them.

The first is inferiority complex is what? False ego frustrated. I want to be great, but I just cannot be great. People around me are so much better than me.

And everybody can do this better than me. I want to show the world how great I am, but there is no way I can show it. So, that is false ego frustrated.

So, basically it is self-centered. The thought is I. How can I show that I am great? And humility is false ego transcendent. It is Krishna centered.

I understand that as compared to Krishna's greatness I am so tiny. What do I have in front of me? Let me not obsess by thinking about myself. Let me try to think about Krishna and try to serve Krishna.

So, rather than trying to cultivate an artificial kind of humility which can often go into inferiority complex by doing things you don't like to do and making a mess of things, we actually do things that we like to do, do them well and then buy philosophy. Remember that actually this is by Krishna's grace that I am doing it. So, we understand that even if I am good at something, how am I good at it? This body is not my body.

This body is a gift of Krishna. And if the body has certain capacities of singing well, speaking well, it is prakruti and kriyamana. Tomorrow I may get some throat infection.

I may not be able to sing at all. I may get paralysis. I may not be able to play karta or samudana.

So, this body is not under my control entirely. Krishna has given it to me and I will use it in a sense. So, this sort of contemplation will increase our Krishna consciousness while also increasing our devotional productivity.

I will do things effectively while also being Krishna conscious. So, the idea is if we are prayerful and contemplative then we can remember the Krishna connection and also do things well. But if we just as a matter of principle do things which we don't like to do or can't do well, then what will happen to the mission? How will the mission move forward? People need to see quality things.

Otherwise, people cannot see transcendence. People see only material things. When people come to the temple, they may see their deities and they may look at the beauty of the deity but people also look around the temple and they see how well it is designed, how it is maintained.

And doing this requires competence. Similarly, with respect to preaching, if I am not very fluent, if I am not very logical, if I am not very organized in my classes, I may be speaking Krishna's message but people will not appreciate it. People want to get a coherent understanding of things.

Therefore, the material productivity, the material efficiency is also important. And we need to engage devotees and engage ourselves according to our needs. Now this leads to a very important question, which is a little dicey.

And there are no direct answers. Is dissatisfaction, if I am doing a particular service, and I feel dissatisfaction in doing that service, is dissatisfaction a sign of incompatibility? Okay, I don't feel satisfied in this service, therefore, this is not my niche. Is it necessarily like that? There are several precautions over here.

First is, the mind has a tendency to be always dissatisfied. To always find some reason for dissatisfaction, no matter how good things are. So that's why, just because I feel dissatisfied doing a service, I shouldn't assume that this is not my niche.

For many devotees, discovering what is one's nature may take a long time. May take a long time. So just because I feel dissatisfied doing a service, it's not that I have to give up that service, I demand that I do some other service.

It may just be that the mind is habitually dissatisfied. It just has that disease of dissatisfaction. Whatever I do, if this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong.

So in the initial stages, that's why when you have the training program, it's good to get an experience of a variety of services. And then, over a period of time, you'll observe. Okay, I did this, I did this, what did I feel most inspired about? What am I going to do better? And we can learn over a period of time.

So, if we just go on the waves of the mind, then we'll become like rolling stones. We'll never become steady in any sense. And beyond this, if authorities want us to do a particular service, then it's best to try and do that service as much as possible.

And if you find that it's not possible, then you can talk with them and they will always adjust if the things are a really serious problem. But in general, it's best, at least in the initial stages of our life, of our spiritual life, to try to do what we are told. By that, several things happen.

First is we don't just remain at the mercy of the mind. It's very dangerous to remain at the mercy of the mind. If we are given too much freedom in the early stages of our spiritual life, in companies, you know, when we talk so much about working according to our nature, even when we are working in companies, it's not like we are working according to our nature, many times.

Many times people work in a particular company just because that's paying them a high salary. There has to be some level of efficiency and compatibility with respect to the work. But people may just do it because they are earning from it.

We are not even so finicky about compatibility in our material life. Many times we subordinate our compatibility to career aspirations. I want to earn a lot of money, I want to be in a big post, I want to have fame and position, therefore I will work even if I don't like the work.

So it's not that suddenly when we come to spiritual life, we have to become very finicky about discovering our nature. Finicky means very fastidious, very particular. So, no.

We can subordinate our nature to our long-term stability in emotional life. I should get an experience of various services, do what I'm supposed to do, what I'm told to do. And over a period of time as we observe and learn about ourselves, see, we talk about discovering ourselves.

So discovering ourselves is not just discovering ourselves and the Atma. Discovering ourselves is also discovering our set of conditions. These are my conditioning, these are my limitations, these are my strengths and this is how I should live my life.

So, that we can, whenever we are doing these services, we observe a period of time. And then we are, over a period of time, naturally, we will gravitate towards the services that we like to do. And that's how we will go on lifelong in our services.

The longevity will come by that natural gravitation towards the services that we like to do. And how this will happen? We can't predict it at this time. We can't predict it.

It's actually an expression of surrender to Krishna. Krishna has a plan. Now Krishna takes care of everyone.

Lokasya vasana panodhankaro dasyasthikannakshama. Upanimahara Stotra, Kulasekha Maharaja says that My lord, I'm confident that you will protect me and you will take care of me. Why? He says, you take care of even the materialistic people who just come for getting something from you.

They are not trying to develop a relationship with you. They are not trying to become your servants. Why do you take care even of them? So then why will you not take care of me when I'm trying to serve you? And devote myself to yourselves entirely.

Lokasya vasana panodhankaro Lokasya vasana panodhankaro. You destroy their problems. Dasyasthikannakshama.

Why will you not tolerate your devotee? Why will you not take care of your devotee? So that's why as devotees it's best to get an experience of various services and be observant about our competency and compatibility. Am I competent in this and do I feel compatible in this? Be observant. And over a period of time, gradually by Krishna's plan, we will gravitate towards the service that is according to our nature.

And actually speaking, there is Brahman Kshatriya Vaisheshudra, but also there is the whole concept of mingling of the castes because of inter-caste being. So it's not that we have a particular propensity only. Most devotees require a blend of everything.

There are very few devotees who can do only Vaishya type activities. I'll just do fundraising, I'll do this, I'll do that. There are very few devotees who can do only Kshatriya type activities.

Just to manipulate, not to bother about anything else. Very few devotees can do only Brahmanical activities. In general, in our spiritual life, we will have to do a little bit of everything.

Eventually, if we get our own project, some youth center or some project, then we may have to do a combination of everything. Vaishya Prabhupada when he went to America, he actually did Brahman Kshatriya Vaisheshudra all activities. He would clean the temple hall, clean the plates of the devotees after they take prasadam.

He could call them as Kshatriya Vaisheshudra activities. He himself would plan about how to get funds. He would go around distributing his own books.

Negotiate land deals and other financial matters. And then he would manage himself. You do this service, you do this service.

Delegate responsibilities. And of course, he would give classes and write books. So, in a sense, as a Vaishna, as a devotee in a moment, we will generally have to do all activities.

And we will find that just trying to do one activity exclusively or excessively will lead to again lack of sustainability. That's why going back to the previous one, I talked about here, we will find let's say, if our prominent nature is Kshatriya type nature, then we will get our primary satisfaction from getting things done. Do some event management, do some things.

Oh, we distributed so many books, we managed this yatra, we are doing this project. So, that's what gives us primary strength. We study scriptures also.

We will speak based on scriptures also. But, at the end of the day, what gives us satisfaction? Yes, I did this for Prabhupada's mission. I did this for Krishna's service.

So, that is something which we feel, this is my worthwhile contribution. It's what I would like to do for Krishna's service. For somebody else, it might be like, I want to study and I want to give these classes and I want to help the devotee in understanding philosophy better.

And, okay, Prabhupada wrote all the books. I have read every single one of the books of Prabhupada, several times. This is my satisfaction.

And I have spoken on that and this. So, all of us, over a period of time, we will see that, we will be doing all the activities that are there. We may do Brahman, Kshatriya, Vishuddha activities.

But, some of those activities will give us strength. And we want to do them more and more. And some of the other activities will require us to expand our strength.

And spiritual life is basically a balancing between all these. Sometimes we do one more, sometimes we do one less. And that's how we move forward.

Any questions about this? Yeah. Yes. Good.

Must do, need do, must do, need to do, have to do. Must do, need to do, and like to do. Good.

So, the must do may require our strength. And, the like to do, and the need to do, both give us strength. The need to do may not always be, there may not be activities that you feel important.

But sometimes the need to do activities are such that they require strength initially to do, but after you do it, you get strength. Sometimes, chanting may demand our determination. I have a concept.

But some days we find that we just make the discipline of chanting. Sometimes the chanting becomes so good. Initially, sometimes the first two to three rounds are very distracting.

Sometimes you just go into a zone where you get absorbed. Some activities require initially that you have to expand strength, but then gradually after that you get strength in the activities. That's how it works.

So, it's dynamic. And we manage our determination by observing our consciousness, by observing our motivation level, and adjusting accordingly. So, actually this was just we spent a lot of time on this one verse, but the concept of determination is very important for our spiritual life.

That's why this will largely relate to what happens in the three modes. I'll take that very shortly in the next class. And, I'll discuss about one more concept in our brahmachari life.

Because all of you are also ending the VT course now. So, I felt that some important things about brahmachari life also we'll discuss a bit. Thank you very much.