Talk show – How to stick to our new year resolutions

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So we are going to publish this in New Year, right? So I must wish the audience New Year also by default. Hey, what to do about a kurta, you know? The sense that kurta always gets rumpled. It’s fine, Prabhu.
No, no, I’m just thinking what? Till what height are you showing me? Full? Yeah. It’s fine, Prabhu. They are going to anyway edit it.
That close-up will not come. And that roughness suits. If you have it like completely plain, it looks fake.
This suits. It’s like original. There is no cloth can be completely pressed.
So the imperfection is actually the perfection of what people do. The imperfection means authenticity, huh? Yeah, we are starting the camera. That’s it? We can start? Okay, let’s start.
Let’s rock. Okay. Hello, everyone.
Welcome back to our talk show. First of all, Happy New Year to all of you. So with New Year, we have got an amazing topic over here and amazing personality in our studio today.
Last time we had Mr. Vinayak in our studio and we learned how a college teacher actually started his spiritual journey. Today, we have a very special guest for all of you. It’s a long introduction about him and we are very honored to have him in our studio.
He’s an engineer by his profession, education profession. He has given lectures in esteemed universities like University of Melbourne, Cambridge University, Princeton University. He has been also been invited for many of the international and national conferences, including the peace conference conducted by UNICEF.
So we have Mr. Chaitanya Charan with us and we have an amazing topic for all of you today. That is how to actually follow your New Year resolution with the same spirit you make it. So it’s a very widely known concept called what is called New Year resolution.
We all make it and it’s made to break it. So that’s a kind of a line which is connected to New Year resolution. So we have an eligible personality over here who is for the first time going to help us to actually figure it out how to solve this problem of not following New Year resolution.
Welcome to our show, welcome to our studio and personally I’m very honored to be with you over here. So first of all, thank you so much for sparing time for us and this question how to follow the New Year resolution. That’s I don’t know about the audience but I would be very glad to know the solution today.
So my first question is New Year resolution is actually kind of a resolution which all of us make after some inspiration, after some motivation from something but it eventually never works, never worked for me. So what do you think what can be the solution for actually following a New Year resolution? Yeah so first of all I’m also honored to be here with you and whenever we make any resolution to do anything to improve ourselves there is a starting point and that is inspiration. Inspiration is actually a very mysterious phenomenon.
There’s a sudden surcharge of energy inside, it’s almost like we feel electrified at that end. I have to do this and we just start off and that’s great. Now great things require a great force to begin.
So inspiration as a starting point is very good. The problem comes when we expect that the inspiration that started us off will sustain us because the very nature of inspiration is that it is beyond logic, it is beyond reasoning. There may be logic and reasoning underlying the inspiration but the inspiration, the surcharge of energy and insight that comprises the sense of inspiration that is not replicable.
You mean to say it’s temporary or something of that sort? Temporary is a negative way of putting it. I would just say that it is not replicable. The inspiration can also come again.
So in that sense it may not be gone forever but the point is it is not something which we can always bank on. So I may feel if I decide I want to exercise, I may feel inspired first day, second day, third day but after a week I may not feel inspired. Well that’s completely very related to many of us.
On 31st of December of every year I personally make a lot of resolutions to be fit next year and I’m inspired to do that. So what do you think? What’s wrong in this inspiration which is not working for me and for many of us? There’s nothing wrong with inspiration. What is wrong is what we expect from inspiration.
Inspiration is a very good thing. When we get it we need to cherish it and start off but the very nature of inspiration is it is not a sustainable thing. It is not a replicable thing at our will.
Those who wait for inspiration, they are waiters. They are not workers, they are not strivers. So inspiration may get us moving but what will keep us moving is not inspiration but conviction.
By conviction I refer to the rational, intellectual, logical side of us. So when we make a resolution at that time we have that surcharge of energy and insight but we need to use that to pen down our thoughts, to verbalize, analyze and express our thoughts and this is the reason why I want to do this one, two, three, four, five and write it down and refresh it regularly. So the intelligence is something which can be a sustainable fuel for us.
I may not feel like doing something but if I know that it is important for me, I will do it. So the difference say between a child and a mother, when the child has to take an injection, the child doesn’t want to take it. The child may cry but the mother knows this injection is important.
The difference is when the child gets pierced, the child feels pain, the mother also feels pain. The mother may feel more pain because the child is in so much pain but the mother’s intelligence is strong. A child’s intelligence is not there so much.
So from inspiration which will get us to start off, to move on, we need to move the intelligence. That’s what gives conviction and conviction is a sustainable fuel. That means what came upon us by just some force or power beyond our planning, beyond our will, that we internalize it.
Quite often when you want to do something, say we decide I’ll wake up early in the morning so that I can have a, I can tap the fresh morning hours. You wake up in the morning, the alarm rings, you wake up, the alarm is saying wake up and inside some voice is saying go to sleep. So some voice is going to sleep.
Now at this point who will win? That will depend on my conviction. So if I have given deep enough thought of why it is important for me to do a particular thing, then those thoughts will pop up in my mind and not only pop up in my mind, we can also keep a diary, keep a phone, where we return down. Okay, why am I doing this? That’s great.
So in Sanskrit there are two distinct words, there is prerana and there is buddhi. So prerana is inspiration. Prerana will start us but buddhi will keep us moving.
In the Bhagavad Gita 3.43 Krishna says that use your intelligence to situate yourself at a higher level. So that intelligence is what gives us conviction. So the conviction will enable us to sustain when the inspiration goes low.
So I mean that’s really amazing to know that conviction is something which is going to support the inspiration and eventually get us going. But according to my personal experience, I mean most of us have this experience, I’m sure about that, that we have the inspiration to an extent I can say we can, I mean we can have a sort of conviction also. But that’s very temporary because after a particular period of time our conviction weakens up, inspiration is completely lost and that’s how we tend to not follow our New Year resolution or whatever resolutions we make.
New Year is actually just a reason to make resolutions but in our normal life also conviction weakens up with time. So how can we actually sustain on a better conviction via intelligence? Yeah, so till now we talked about the internals. The inspiration you could say is more of the emotional drive, the conviction is more of the intellectual drive.
We live as much inside us as much as we live outside us. So to complement inspiration and conviction we need facilitation. Facilitation means externally we need to create the facilities that will help us to implement the resolution.
That’s right. So for example, if a person decides that say I’m not going to, somebody’s become an alcoholic and they want to recover from alcoholism, the first thing that they’re told is don’t go to a bar. If a person has a job in a bar, I will not fall for it.
No, that environment it is impossible. So facilitation means create the external support systems which will enable us to avoid indulging on things when the desires come up. See the problem is that when we make a resolution, we are inspired, we are convinced but our desires pop up as sudden spikes of impulse.
Very true. And when the spike comes, it just blinds us and during the spike we may do things which we had resolved absolutely not to do. We may decide to diet and then suddenly a spike comes, you know, I dieted for long, I want to enjoy, start eating, eating, eating, eating and then what did I do? Why did I eat so much? Happens with me every day.
It happens with all of us. So the thing is that it’s that spike of desire it doesn’t stay for long. It comes and it’s not there 24 hours a day.
It’s not there lifelong. It comes for some time, stays for that and that time it’s almost intolerable. And that when the spike of desire has shot up, at that time sometimes our intelligence may also not work and we feel whatever inspiration we have that’s all gone.
We just feel driven towards that desire at that time. So if at that time we have some external protection, external protection in the sense that there is a obstacle between us and the facility to indulge in that particular thing. So a recovering alcoholic may get an urge for alcohol but if there’s no bottle at home, there’s no bottle nearby, one has to go to a bar which is far away.
Now while one is going to get that, one can always go and get that but during that time the spike goes down once intelligence recovers. Why am I doing this? I don’t need to do this. So if one feels hunger pangs, if one keeps fatty food next to oneself then one may decide I won’t eat it.
There’s a sociologist, psychologist did some survey and they found that when people make decisions, so for example if there were dieters who decided we are going to eat a regulated and some healthy snacks like fruits and vegetable salads and they had some unhealthy snacks, some burgers or whatever. Now if both of them were kept say in the drawer below the working place, if they’re conscious, they feel hungry, they will choose the healthy snack. But if they’re unconscious, they’re talking on phone, surfing something on the net, they feel hunger.
Without even their awareness, the hand will go to the unhealthy snack, that’s true. So what is happening over here is that when that desire comes up, either it comes up as an intolerably strong desire or it comes as a desire which sneaks in when we are not aware. But in either case, if the facility to indulge in that desire is readily available, then we will fall for it.
On the opposite direction, if the facility to do a good thing is also easily available. So for example, if I decide that I’m hungry but the healthy food is available nearby, I’ll take the healthy food. If I decided to exercise, if a facility for exercising is nearby for me, it’s available.
So then we’ll be able to do it more easily. So the facilitation requires maybe some change in our lifestyle, change in the physical landscape around us. So we need supports for us, for implementing what we want to do.
If we don’t create those supports, the conviction itself will not sustain us. So depending on our specific situation, how we can facilitate. So facilitation has two parts in it.
One is creating some kind of obstacle between us and the activity which we don’t want to do. And creating some kind of pathway for us to do the activity which we want to do more easily. This facilitation will make it much more easier to implement the resolution and to resist the spike of desires.
That’s really great. But after that, one more thought comes into my mind. Facilities to actually take us to a good resolution and facilities to take us away, both are available for us to take it.
Now that was a really beautiful point that we must be inspired, then convicted to do it. We must have a conviction to do it and then we must have a facility to do it. But the problem is that a good facility to do things versus a bad facility to spoil it, both are easily available.
So how do we actually, I would rather say, how do we stay in the vicinity of the good facility and not indulge in a bad facility, which usually happens. Like I’ll give you an example. Nobody actually enrolls in a bad gym.
Everybody actually goes in a very good gym, the best gym, probably the best classes, the best coaching they can have. But matter of fact, after a few days, the best does not work. It just does not inspire us or keeps us on the track anymore.
So though, yes, the facility is there, but the bad facilities are also there. So what keeps us balanced in the world? Yes. So in the external world, there are two broad, I could say, things.
One is objects, the other is people. People. People.
Okay. So we can try to create, as I said, physical infrastructure, which will facilitate us. But a more important support is association.
Association. Association. If we have the association of those who are also similarly determined to do a particular thing, that can inspire us.
Our desires are not just linear, they are triangular. They’re triangular. Yeah.
What I mean by this is, just a few months ago, this video game Pokemon Go came out. And some people just got hooked to it. Clicking, clicking, clicking, clicking, you know, going here, going there, trying to catch Pokemons on top of a building or in a garden.
Now people who had not played that game, what are you, are you nuts? Why are you so lost in this game? So just by hearing about the game, there was no attraction to that game. Okay. But if they saw somebody, yes, your friend, my friend is doing, what is he doing? Why are you so caught? Just duplicate.
And they start playing and they’re clicking away, clicking, clicking away. They also get lost in it. So in this case, just seeing that game may not induce a desire.
But seeing someone playing that game, that induces a desire. Let me try it out. That’s amazing.
I just in America, I met one student, the Indian student, just one year in the university, and he’s become a sold out fan of baseball. India, nobody knows baseball. Cricket is everything.
And how did it happen? Because in the university, everybody’s playing baseball. You wanted to belong, seeing all that. So triangular desires.
So triangular desires means that often, linear desires means our desire is stimulated by seeing the object. But triangular desire means that a desire is stimulated by seeing someone engaging with that object. So a person was actually engaged in that object.
Exactly. So if we want to make any resolution, it’s best to find at least one friend who also wants to make the same resolution. And seeing that person determined to do it, that will inspire us.
And when that person feels down, seeing us determined will inspire that person. So this triangularity of desires is what we need to tap and that’s where association comes in. Sangat Sanjayate Kama.
The Bhagavad Gita says that in association, our desires develop. So by finding like minded association, we will be able to concretely implement our resolutions. When our inspiration, when our conviction goes down, when the facilities may not inspire us, just as you rightly said, just seeing the gym may not inspire us.
But seeing somebody doing a workout in the gym, seeing a friend doing a workout in the gym, that will inspire us. That’s what is association. That’s amazing.
That’s amazing. That’s a really good point. I mean, that our desires are not linear, they are triangular.
They are linear, but they’re not just linear. They’re not just linear. That brings me to one more point.
I would just like to have a clarity on it. When you say that if we need to have association to have our desires get to some resolution, in that case, I personally feel that we are actually giving a lot of decision making or as a result to someone else than to us. Because we are totally dependent on some other person who’s gonna inspire us to do something.
I personally feel, I mean, I have experienced this in my life also that when my friends went with me for something, I was inspired, but alone I was not inspired. So I would like to know, I mean, because you have given us such amazing thoughts on resolution, is there anything which can perpetually give us the set of mind, which of course needs the support of all the points you said, but it itself is self-sustaining to get us ahead from a resolution. So what is that? I mean, I am really worried about if what people don’t have that one friend who can help them out, what people don’t have that facility that they can be inspired of.
Everybody has inspiration and to extend everybody has conviction. So what is that which can, you know, make them sustain without these things or with less of these things also? Yes, ultimately all resolutions will succeed only when there’s a change of heart. There’s a change of heart.
Yes, there is purification. We often think of the inner world in a little dismissive way, just thoughts, just desires, but actually the inner world is also as concrete, not in the physical sense, but in an effectual sense, in the sense of the way it has effect on us. So when we make, when we do any particular activity, there are, we could say in metaphorical sense, tracks created in our mind.
Okay. And then when we repeatedly think, desire, act in a particular way, that track is created and in future our thoughts naturally go along that track. So for example, if this floor were slightly inclined or this floor had a groove which was inclined in a particular way and if water fell over here, naturally the water would flow in that direction.
Of course. Now, even if I say I don’t want the water to flow in that direction, my just wanting the water to flow in the opposite direction is not going to work. What I need to do if I want the water to flow in that other direction is change the floor.
If the floor is inclined this way and I want the water to flow this way, I have to get the floor to be inclined this way. So now this word inclination is significant because we also use the word inclination for our innate tendencies. You know, okay, I have inclination for finance.
I have inclination for public speaking. What does it mean? That means I’m naturally inclined toward this thing. I like to do it.
My thoughts, my desires, my plans, my analysis, it naturally flows in this direction. So purification means changing the inclination of our mind. Okay.
And how do we attain that? Yes. So everything else we talked about was actually connected with our mind, our intelligence, our social circle, our physical infrastructure around us, but the purification connects with us, who we are. So the Bhagavad Gita explains that at our core, we are spiritual beings.
We are what is called the Atma and we are parts of the whole. And when we connect with the whole, we become whole. That’s amazing.
So and the connection with the whole is what happens through Bhakti. Bhakti. Bhakti.
Bhakti Yoga is a whole systematic process which connects us with the whole and the absolute truth, who is known by different names in different traditions, that absolute truth is all pure. So when we connect with that absolute truth, whether it is by prayer, whether it’s by mantra chanting, whether it is by worship, there are various ways in which we connect. This purifies us and this purification, just like if I put my hand in an electric socket, electricity will flow into me.
So when we connect with the one who is all pure, purity flows into us and purification essentially is the rejigging, the redesigning, the redirecting of our mental architecture. And when that happens, then the inclination itself to do the undesirable goes away. When we’re talking about resolution at that time, there is an inclination to do something else, but no, I’m going to do this.
But purification will remove the inclination itself and that is what Bhakti, that is what devotion can do for us. Amazing, amazing. That’s a really amazing point we got to know here, that has really changed my perception towards resolution to be very frank.
So just to conclude, it’s a new perception towards how we can have a resolution being fulfilled, being inspired to do something, having a conviction to do it, having a facility to accommodate it, having an association to support it and at the end, the last but not the least, having devotion Bhakti to actually make it last for a very long time. So that comes down to an acronym ICFAB, which can be said ICFabulous. So that’s amazing, that’s amazing, you know, learning from this, I really appreciate this level of thinking.
So that’s all for today guys, I would just like to know how did you like our show, so just hashtag ICFAB everywhere and let’s see your love around and moreover in the video here, just comment if you have some resolution and you were not able to complete it, what are your feelings about it, so that we also know about your comments. So let’s meet up next time with some more amazing personality and more wider perspectives and a new fresh perception about our life and spirituality. Thank you so much, thank you so much for coming on our show.
Thank you. Take care and have a happy new year ahead. Happy new year to all of you too.
And yes, take care of your resolution by ICFAB. Thank you so much, thank you so much for watching us. That was very accurate, 27 minutes, not bad.
Probably, I said this especially for YouTube, so let’s see if they can hash and have some comments.