Are love marriages incompatible with bhakti? What about Arjuna marrying Subhadra?

What was the second question? Question. Do marriages in a bhakti culture always have to be arranged marriages? Are law marriages always against bhakti culture? Answer. Not necessarily.
Arjuna married Subhadra because he was attracted to her. So of course there also when he wanted to take her it was with the consent of her brother and his brother. Krishna was in support of that marriage and Yudhishthira was also in support of because Arjuna informed Yudhishthira and sent messengers there and took his permission.
So the important point to recognize is that in bhakti culture we want to focus on Krishna and we want to adopt those things in our spiritual life that are focused on Krishna. That will help us to focus on Krishna. So for most people when they get married the life partner’s spiritual orientation or lack of spiritual orientation is going to be a defining factor, a significantly influencing factor in their own ease or difficulty in practicing spiritual life, in practicing bhakti specifically.
So because bhakti is not just an internal activity. Bhakti is also a communal activity. Bhakti is not like the path of gyana and that’s why the spiritual orientation of one’s family members is also important and that’s why such a choice has to be made maturely and in arranged marriages that choice can be made maturely by elders who are aware of both the couple’s natures and can see long term but if there is a relationship which somehow happens and then they are spiritually inclined the couple then they get married.
It’s not against bhakti culture because after all bhakti is matter of the heart and one can practice bhakti in any situation. So generally one of the major problems with love marriages is that there is a lot of infatuation that comes in the initial attraction and if one is not careful then to the extent there is attraction in the beginning to that extension then there is when one sees the other side of the person. Initially because of infatuation one builds a tower of imaginary tower of fantasies about what the other person is like and when one starts coming close to the person living with that person one finds actually no one can really live in that tower of expectations and then one might become averse to that person also so therefore then the whole relationship crumbles or there is a lot of discontent and conflict so that’s why one has to be cautious in forming this relationship one should not be impatient and act under infatuation but in Kali Yuga we don’t have a proper system for arranged marriages and of course some in some MISCON centers there are marriage bureaus which help devotees in getting married and wherever such resources are available they can be used the important point is that every devotee has to ultimately choose what is favorable for one’s bhakti and act accordingly so in general the way to check whether something is an infatuation or is based on a sustainable compatible match is largely through introspection so one is introspection is very difficult when one is not patient one is under the throes of infatuation so if one puts a pause button and doesn’t act on it immediately lets things wait and watch and see for oneself what one’s feelings are and how they last or how they change and keep a track of those feelings over a period of time maybe using a personal journal or something like that not just in terms of writing romantic letters that is the stuff of movies and novels but in terms of genuinely observing oneself and checking what is the basis of one’s attraction to another person and if that basis is not just on external considerations like looks and possessions and is based on a deeper understanding of the person and appreciation of the other person and that stays over time or one makes one becomes wise enough to recognize that the attraction has to be based on more sustainable things and shift the focus then there is possibility that the relationship can survive over a long period of time also so the important thing is not that this or that marriage is entirely unfavorable to bhakti the important point is that one overall make choices in life in one’s life which are favorable for one’s practice of devotional service and generally impulsive choices made under the influence of passion or infatuation are unlikely to be sustainable materially and are unlikely to be favorable spiritually in one’s bhakti so therefore if there is patience, introspection and one doesn’t hurry through things then it’s not necessarily incompatible in the practice of bhakti thank you