Are the humble taken for a ride by others?

Answer Podcast

So in our professional life as well as in devotional life if we try to be humble then either people take us for a ride or if we have to say no then people turn against us so how do we deal with it? see first of all as I said humility we may have certain stereotypes of what humility means and they may not be necessarily the right understanding of humility so does humility mean that we have to say yes to everyone basically it’s impossible for us we are finite human beings we cannot say yes to everyone the easiest way to make yourself miserable is to try to please everyone so we just can’t, we are limited people so in some cases we do have to say no whether it is devotional life or it is in professional life whatever it is so humility is not so much whether I say yes or no it is more a mood of how I say yes or no so it is like in Duryodhana when Krishna went as Shanti Duta and Krishna actually is very humble in that situation he is God himself but he is going as emissary and then he is so accommodating he says just give five villages to the Pandavas now there are ways of saying no and Duryodhana was so insolent, what was his reply he said I will not give enough land to even pass the tip of a needle through this is not just no this is an arrogant no in fact we could say this is the most arrogant way of saying no so you know we can say no to a request without saying no to the person but here the way it is said is it is not only I am saying no to this particular thing but I am just rejecting the person itself so humility sometimes we have to say no to some people but we learn the way to do it in a respectful sensitive way maybe explain our situation a little bit and some people don’t understand what can we do we just have to know that we cannot please everyone so that’s with respect to saying no, the principle is that we have to say no and if we displease someone by that that’s okay that’s just a part of being human our condition is that we are limited beings and we cannot please everybody now in a professional setting also if we have this stereotype of humility again that anybody says anything I just accept it then that is not exactly right again as I said humility means to not let our ego interfere with our purpose so I will give two examples in a professional setting of how humility might work might be helpful if somebody is a boss in a company and there is some subordinate who has come up and the subordinate has come up with a very good suggestion and in the meeting the subordinate gives the suggestion the boss thinks I own this company I have been in this business for 20 years and this upstart is just 6 months here and he has the audacity to give a suggestion to me I just pat it down on that person well if that suggestion had been good I could have benefited from it so if we say in a professional setting also humility means openness to suggestions by others that is an advantage and in team playing team leaders listen to others so listening to others itself is in one way humility listen doesn’t mean we have to accept and do everything that they are saying just be open to hear about it so that way even in a professional setting humility can be appreciated another thing is that say if you work in a team suppose there is a cricket match or any team sports and there is one star player either captain or some star player and the star player plays the most important role in winning but then when the credits are offered when the man of the match or whatever award is given the team player may say I am such a great player or that star player may say actually it’s a team effort and even in sports somebody acknowledges it’s a team effort everybody appreciates that so it’s not that humility is anathema in worldly life it is not something which is always frowned upon we may have certain stereotypes which may not be applicable so if we think of humility means not being assertive then that’s not the point humility means that basically I am not absorbing myself so I have certain things to do and while doing those things whether I am honoured or dishonoured I don’t bother about it I focus on main things so again the second part is to not let our ego interfere with our purpose we consider it that way then it is then humility can be practical even in professional life does it address your question?