Aren’t parents who want their children to succeed in competitions encouraging materialistic over-endeavor?

Answer Podcast

So, yeah.
Bhagavatam says that one’s primary duty as parents is to deliver the children from the cycle of birth and death. Rupa Goswami also says one should not do prayas in material life. One should not over-endeavor.
Yes, that is true. There is always in every situation there are extremes possible on both sides. Different people have different capacities.
For some people, when they sing kirtans, they will sing in such complicated tunes that that kirtan is not a participation, it’s a performance. Isn’t it? Isn’t it? No offense to them, but you know, they have such musical ability that they feel that they are doing something when they are singing in such complicated tunes. So now for them, if you tell them to sing in a very simple tune, they will say, ask someone else to sing.
They will want to do things in a particular way. That is their rasa. So, if somebody is an intellectual, you tell them to give a simple class, they will find that as austerity.
They will speak in an intellectual way. So the point is that what is prayas for whom will vary from person to person. So, yes, we should not over-endeavor.
But what is over-endeavor is different for different people. And sometimes some people have so much vigor within them that, like some people say you should do only one thing at a time. But there are some people, if they are doing only one thing, they feel bored.
They are hearing something, they are writing something and they can do it well. So we don’t have to be a campaigner for multitasking or a campaigner against multitasking. No, you have to find how you are the most effective.
So yes, the principle is we should not over-endeavor. But what is over-endeavor for whom, that will vary from person to person. So that has to be decided based on that individual and that individual’s guise.
So the idea is that, say, if I can lift 20 kg weight and somebody else can lift 40 kg. So for me, from 20 to 21 is something which helps me grow. Somebody else, 20 kg is nothing.
For them, 40 to 41 helps them grow. So we have to find out, okay, if we take up some particular activity, is that actually inspiring us or is that burdening us? So, if you feel, yes, when I start doing this I come alive. I feel I am doing something in my life.
And then, we become enlivened. Yes, we do it. But sometimes somebody tells us to Oh my God, I have to do this.
How can I get out of this? So, we ourselves, over a period of time, just by living, we learn, you know, what is too much, what is too little. We all have to go through some experience. So definitely, over-endeavor has to be avoided.
Over-endeavor means if the children don’t have talent, don’t have interest in a particular field, and the parents want that the child should be doing this. So, sometimes the child becomes the instrument for the parents to fulfill their own unfulfilled desires. You know, I couldn’t do this, so you should do this.
It shouldn’t be like that. Many of you know that joke. There is a court case between the mother and the father.
The father said, I want my son to become an engineer. Mother said, I want my son to become a doctor. Judge said, why are you quarreling? Just call the son and ask him what he wants to become.
No, we can’t ask him. Why not? He is not yet born. So, what should definitely not happen is, the parents should not impose their own ambitions on the child and make the child do something which the child is not capable of doing.
But at the same time, if the child has talent, child has inspiration, the parents should not suppress that also. So, it’s basically our role as parents is as facilitators. So, what the child, if the child feels inspired to do it, we encourage them.
But we shouldn’t burden them and do it.