As devotees, how can we deal with our relatives sensitively?

Answer Podcast

So thawed, but then accommodating them, then they are breaking regulatory principles.
So how should we, to what extent can we go in accommodating others? The first thing is that we can’t control others, especially in today’s world, we just can’t control others. Essentially, we can do three things for others. In any relationship, we can share knowledge, we can set example, and we can provide inspiration, or we can provide facilities, all three these three comprise inspiration.
So knowledge means, say for example, parents want their children to become devotees, they can give philosophical knowledge, this is right, this is wrong, that is important to me, don’t just tell this is right, wrong, but explain why it is right or wrong, why this is beneficial, why this is harmful. So we can give knowledge. The second thing is, I can set an example.
So if our relatives see that, oh, by this bhakti, he or she, they become a better person. They may have certain things which I can’t understand, I don’t like, but overall, they’re there to help us, they’re kind, they’re sensitive, they’re more tolerant, less short tempered. So if they see some positive changes in our life, that will be the best way we can attract them.
Because, you know, everybody wants to become better, everybody wants to improve. So if they see that this bhakti has improved us, then they will also want to, will also be more inclined to practice bhakti. And third is we can provide facilities.
That means, rather than we ourselves constantly preaching to them, you know, we can, when I became, when I was introduced to Krishna Consciousness, I also did something similar. I alienated my relatives quite a bit. Then I asked one of our sanyasi leaders, I asked Jaydev Maharaj, how should we preach to our parents? So Maharaj replied, by letting anyone except you preach to them.
So anyway that, your children have seen you as a small, your parents have seen you as a small baby. They cannot take philosophy from you very seriously, at least not initially. They said, let others preach to them.
And that’s what when I did, I connected them with other devotees, especially devotees of their age group, devotees from their, maybe not a generation, but from their cultural setting, devotees with whom they could be like minded. Then they started taking up bhakti very nicely. So we tried to provide facilities.
So these are three main things we can do, knowledge, example and facilities. And if you do this, we have done our part. Even if others are breaking the Hindu principles, if we try to become very strict and rigid, you know, you should not do this, you should not do this.
We don’t really have much control over people in today’s world. So it is better that they may be doing something wrong and have the right attitude towards devotees. Then eventually they may give up that wrong and come towards Krishna.
But in the effort to get them to do the right thing, if we come off as very judgmental, very demanding, and they get a wrong attitude towards devotees, then that makes it even more difficult for them to ever come towards the right path. So the important thing in our relationships is that we should ensure that people get at the very least a favorable perception of Krishna. Even sometimes we may have vigorous philosophical debates with people.
But at the end of it, we should just put aside, we should say, yes, we are relatives, you know, and I appreciate you as a relative, and we can be courteous with them. So people should, as much as possible, we should ensure that when people have interaction with a devotee, we are acting as devotees now, we are representing people. Out that interaction should not leave them with a bad taste in the mouth.
I met a person, I would like to meet this person again. That should never happen. If we just get an appreciative attitude towards devotees, that itself is ajnaan sukruti.
And that is, that is, by appreciating devotees, they are doing some unknowing, they are getting unknowing pious credits. And those unknowing pious credits will contribute and eventually enable them to come towards Krishna. Does it address your questions? Thank you very much.
So shall we stop here?