As guilt due to falldown can also be a temptation, should one just neglect guilt and keep practicing devotional service?

From Sanjay

Question.
You said that if guilt comes between us and Krishna, then that is actually a form of temptation which should be neglected, which should be rejected. Does that mean that the person should just forget the fall and keep trying to serve Krishna or what should the person do? Answer. There is a practical side to it and there is a devotional side to it.
From the devotional point of view, one should most importantly always continue to practice devotional service. From the practical point of view, depending on what the fall has been, the person may have to make some changes and one may have to create some sort of modification in one’s life so that one is not so vulnerable to falling again. Say for example, if a person has a habit of, say, when working on the computer, going to wrong sites and is almost become addicted to that, then what should the person do at a spiritual level? One shouldn’t think that just because I have seen some dirty things, I can’t chant any Krishna or practice devotional service.
One should definitely keep practicing devotional service. But at the same time, if there is the danger of falling and one goes again in the same circumstance, one is likely to fall again. So, one has to create some changes.
For example, one may decide that I will not work with the computer alone. I will always work with the computer and somebody else is there in the room or I will have some internet filters so that I cannot go on the wrong sites or I will work only at specific times on the computer and not all the time. So, in order to ensure that we don’t fall again, we should try to make some practical changes in our life, especially if the person is in a position of some sort of leadership and then one is expected to follow certain moral standards, one is not able to follow, then maybe one may have to take a lower social position so that one doesn’t in a way become hypocritical or something like that while speaking one thing and doing something entirely different.
This is a practical matter. So, the purpose of the practical matter is also not practical changes, it’s not to punish oneself. The purpose of the practical changes is to ensure that one doesn’t again go into that same danger and one doesn’t again get trapped.
So, with respect to guilt, there are two extremes. One is that one becomes so consumed by guilt that guilt paralyzes the person and person is not able to do anything in devotional life and the other is one becomes so desensitized that one does terribly wrong things and doesn’t feel guilty also. That is also not good.
In many ways, our guilt acts as our protector. When we know that certain things are wrong and we feel bad when we are doing those things, then that bad feeling also protects us. So, guilt is helpful in protecting us.
So, to not feel guilty or to be dominated by guilt, both are wrong. So, that means that whenever we have done something wrong, after some time, when we have calmed down, when there is some emotional distance from that event, we have to calmly examine the circumstances and then decide what all needs to be done so that the relapse can be avoided. And if the situation is such that the relapse cannot be avoided, then one will just have to accept that one will be following a lower moral standard.
But one should not be eaten up by guilt at the same time, one should not be entirely nonchalant about the whole thing. We should be trying to improve one’s standards, but how will one improve? The point here is all the improvement will happen when we get spiritual strength and we will get spiritual strength by practicing devotional service. So, when we find ourselves failing in the moral standards, then at that time, that should be an impetus for us to strengthen our devotional service.
So, in that sense, our wholehearted devotional service practice should not be negatively affected by the fact that we are troubled by temptations. It should be positively affected in the sense that it makes us more enthusiastic for practicing devotional service. But beyond that, we shouldn’t be obsessed with that particular thought, I did that wrong thing, I did that wrong thing, I did that wrong thing.
It is not that we should beat ourselves down with guilt constantly. But it is also not that we should just reject guilt as if nothing is everything’s all right and nothing is wrong. But what is wrong should make us doubly enthusiastic about doing what is right.
If a simple example to conclude this, say, if I get infected by a disease, say, if I get infected by TB, now, if I got infected by TB, then especially in the stage when the TB is in a contagious stage, then I may have to stay in isolation. I don’t want to give that disease to others. So, I’m put in quarantine.
I have to live in quarantine. So, now, if I just keep focusing on, oh, why did I get the TB? What did I eat? What did I do wrong? What happened? What happened? I just keep thinking about it. I don’t focus on the treatment, then I’m not going to be cured.
So, I have to take the treatment. On the other hand, if I think that, okay, I just take the treatment, I don’t mind if I got the TB, I don’t care about doing anything else. Then I will be spreading the TB germs to others through my cough.
So, at a positive side, I have to keep enthusiastically taking the treatment. At a regulative side, I have to make sure that I don’t spread the infection to others, or I don’t go into situations which will make me more infected also. So, in this way, there is a balance.
So, I want to take the treatment, and I don’t want to become infected further or infect others in my spiritual life also. So, how I will balance these two things that I’ll have to calmly think. But the important thing is that I should be taking the treatment for curing the TB.
Similarly, if I am contaminated by lust, if I’m contaminated by greed, what I need to be doing is to take the treatment to cure my lust. And nothing should make me unenthusiastic about taking the treatment. But at the same time, I shouldn’t get so bogged down by the thought of the disease that I don’t feel like taking the treatment.
On the other hand, just because I’m taking the treatment, I shouldn’t think I don’t have the disease only. And I act as if I’m normal. And I spread the infection to others.
So, many times, when we are overcome by a conditioning, the disease metaphor can help us to think in an objective way. The disease metaphor is not entirely accurate. Because when we get infected by a germ, the germ is what is coming and doing the damage.
Whereas say when we get infected by lust, often, it is not just the germ which is doing it, it is often we provoke ourselves to become lusty. So, in that sense, the metaphor is not entirely correct. There is the aspect of our own moral responsibility, or moral irresponsibility, which is also taken into consideration when we succumb to lust.
But when it is a matter of curing ourselves, when it is a matter of correcting our behavior, this metaphor is very helpful for us in analyzing things in a sound and clear way, so that we are able to move forward in our spiritual recovery. So, don’t let the thought on the condition, don’t let guilt stop us from the treatment. But don’t neglect guilt so much that we are not even aware that we are sick.
The guilt should basically enthuse us to take the treatment more. So, what happens is if we just think of guilt and we think that the treatment will not cure me and the guilt will eat me up. But if I think, yes, I have got this disease, therefore, I must take this treatment more determinately, more rigidly, and then I will be cured, then that is the right attitude.