Can a devotee live without getting married and without joining brahmachari ashrama?

From: amith

can a practicing devotee not get into the bondage of marriage and also not join temple as a fulltime bhramachari..but practise krishna conciousness with congregational devotees and temple counsillars and attend temple programmes,take part in kirtan without any loss of independence?

also if a person has to marry what are the restricted factors..for eg:

how imp is the horoscope?

what is the permitable age diff(how much younger/older the partner can be?)

How much younger or older the partner can be? answer the various ashramas are meant to facilitate our progressive spiritual advancement and each of them provides us a protective and nourishing spiritual culture but if we try to create a situation for ourselves where we are in neither the Brahmachari ashram nor the Grihastha ashram then we miss out on that protection and the growth that is possible in both these ashrams superficially both ashrams involve losing independence but actually both ashrams create responsibility and accountability both of which are vital for our steady spiritual advancement when we choose to come within a temple and live as Brahmacharis then we are responsible to the senior Brahmacharis and the temple authorities who ensure that not only do we practice the devotional activities properly diligently so that we will make spiritual advancement but their counsel and vigilance also protects us from our mind which is always prompting us to engage in sinful activities and the intense devotional culture that is there in the temple helps us to gradually become purified of these lower sinful tendencies of the mind similarly in the Grihastha ashram one's wife acts as a defense as a protection against one's sinful desires in the Srimad Bhagavatam it is said that this is a soldier fighting a war needs a protective coat the wife acts as a coat to protect the man from his plundering senses so at one level one gets fulfillment of one's desires within religious boundaries and at the same time the wife also in her own way keeps a vigilant watch on the husband and ensures that he doesn't transcend transgress moral boundaries due to the influence of his mind and also the responsibility of taking care of the family engenders one to become serious if one is to be serious not just in terms of earning financially but also in terms of setting a good example for one's spouse and subsequently for one's children that they all can become devotionally inclined but if one chooses to live in an artificial metastable situation where one is neither a brahmachari nor a grihastha then one loses out on the protection that comes from this accountability and responsibility that are there in both ashrams that's why this situation is never recommended as a long term arrangement as a short term transitional arrangement that is fine after a devotee becomes introduced to Krishna consciousness before he is able to decide his ashram he may want to take time to finalize the decision and in that time he may be in this transitional stage but for a long term solution it is extremely unstable and makes us very vulnerable to the insidious attacks of our mind that's why it is never recommended unless one has some very exceptional situations where one one's counselor or spiritual guide specifically feels that that arrangement is the best for one's situation probably the only situation where this might be valid is if a person has a homosexual orientation when person doesn't want to marry a partner of the opposite sex and at the same time the person's mind will become more agitated because of that particular sexual orientation if the person lives in the ashram so this is practically the only situation where such a arrangement may be feasible but in all other situations it is best for a person to situate oneself in either of the two ashrams now as far as how important is the horoscope that depends on oneself and the partner if one has come from a cultural background where the horoscope is considered important which a partner is from a cultural background that means say a pious family where they would have anyway consulted the horoscope before deciding the marriage then one may show deference to that particular cultural tradition and consult the horoscope so horoscopic compatibility is important not just for deference to the family tradition but also in a practical sense of compatibility of the partners if one can get a good astrologer who is able to read the horoscope in a non-biased, non-motivated way and can give good advice from both the point of material compatibility and devotional compatibility both so this is something which generally most marriage counsellors leave up to the discretion of the particular partners involved and again regarding the age differences ideally speaking the age difference should not be too much but this is again up to one's individual discretion and more importantly not just one's individual discretion but also the guidance of the specific devotees who are guiding one in one's spiritual life.

Thank you.