CC daily 137 – M 6.201 – Self-criticism is for our disposition not our composition

Thank you Charam Bhattacharya X201 Charam Bhattacharya after realizing the error of his ways after considering that oh this Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is Krishna himself and how have I had the audacity of thinking that I can instruct Krishna no indeed no doubt I have committed a great offense as he mentioned in previous verse and he starts condemning himself that is also mentioned roughly in the previous text in the text before the previous text where it says so he started condemning himself and so he took shelter of lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu now usually we can't take shelter of someone as long as we think that we are very grateful people oh yes it is important for us to recognize that we have been given certain good qualities by Krishna we have been given certain talents certain abilities and nowadays there is a whole because we live in such a competitive culture so often the feeling is that people feel inferior people suffer from things like the inferiority complex and they feel that we need something to boost our self esteem otherwise we will keep feeling bad about ourselves certainly spirituality is not about having a low self esteem in the mundane sense it is more about recognizing that we at our core are spiritual beings and we are parts of Krishna who is all attractive who is all loving who is all merciful and it is a great mistake that we have committed that instead of turning towards Krishna we have turned away from Krishna so when we recognize when it is said that for spiritual growth we have to have humility that humility now here it is a self condemnation that self condemnation is more in terms of chastising oneself for a wrong decision not chastising oneself for being a bad person that means it is not that we hate ourselves it is not that we as souls are meant to be constantly critical of ourselves in terms of whipping ourselves beating ourselves down that is not the point of this kind of discussion the point is that we are all in our own way struggling against our conditionings but we could say that we are made of we are made of the kind of decisions that we make like we go back to the example of the prodigal son then the prodigal son when in the dire straits being bankrupt trapped and rejected by all friends who have left because he has no money now at such a time the prodigal son naturally if there is some level of intelligence I will think oh now I am eating this food which is meant for pigs what a terrible level to which I have fallen what a fool I have been let me just go back to my father now let me just return to my father so we condemn ourselves not because we think that oh as souls we are we are incorrigibly sinful it is because we understand that we have made wrong decisions not only made wrong decisions but because of repeatedly making wrong decisions we also have a wrong disposition but still our our constitution is not wrong our composition is not wrong it is we are at our core we are eternal we are conscious we are blissful so our disposition is wrong but our composition isn't we are eternally precious parts of Krishna and he loves us and his love is our greatest hope so here when it is said that Sarvambhattacharya felt he condemned himself for having been presumptuous enough to think that I could have instructed lord Chaitanya he he took shelter of lord Chaitanya realizing oh this is god himself and at one level I am so unfortunate and so foolish that I presumed that I could instruct him but at the same time I am so fortunate that the lord is giving me his direct association the lord is staying at my house the lord is accepting food from me and in that way he felt grateful and he took sharan, prabhu ra sharan and krupa karibare tabhe prabhu hai laman krupa karibare, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu felt at that time oh I should have mercy on this Sarovama prabhu ra hai laman oh Chaitanya Mahaprabhu Chaitanya Mahaprabhu felt that let me have mercy on Sarovama now does this mean that Chaitanya Mahaprabhu prior to this did not feel like having mercy on lord Chaitanya no, it was Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is always mercifully disposed in fact we will see later that Chaitanya Mahaprabhu says that Chaitanya Mahaprabhu has already said earlier that I have come for you Sarovama to Puri and whatever the lord does it can have multiple purposes so there of course at the start of this past at the start of this interaction between Sarovama and Chaitanya Mahaprabhu at Puri, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu said that I have come to take shelter of you that was his humble way of phrasing things Chaitanya Mahaprabhu had come there to actually give shelter to Sarovama to rescue him from the misconception of non-dualism and Chaitanya Mahaprabhu has done that so he has always been mercifully disposed towards Chaitanya Mahaprabhu towards Sarovama and that's why he adopted such a subtle and sensitive strategy for countering his misconception Chaitanya Mahaprabhu did not adopt a head-on confrontational strategy which might have defeated Sarovama but which would have destroyed his honour destroyed his sense of respectability and thus it would have been very difficult for him to accept emotionally even if Chaitanya Mahaprabhu had persuaded him intellectually Chaitanya Mahaprabhu in a very discreet, humble way he has countered Sarovama's misconceptions and now when it is said that Prabhu Rahai Lama Chaitanya Mahaprabhu desired to give mercy that refers to a very special vision of a form with many hands that Chaitanya Mahaprabhu was going to display so that is a Chaitanya Mahaprabhu was always merciful to Sarovama but he now wanted to bestow some additional mercy and it is that additional mercy that is being talked about in this text Thank you.