CC daily 180 – 6.267-68 – Focus on internalizing conviction not parroting denunciation

Thank you 268 so here Sarumbhattacharya is continuing his analysis of liberation and he explains how Sayuja is the form of liberation that he chooses not to aspire for and not just he alone but even all devotees in general so earlier he has talked about the five forms of liberation and he says if by rendering service a devotee gets any of these liberation then the devotee may accept him because even in those forms of liberation the devotee can serve the lord but on the other hand Sayuja Sayuja is merging or Ekattva as it is sometimes called Narakebhai it is fearful like hell Ghuna is a very strong word here written to despise a devotee despises and fears liberation because that deprives the devotee of service now this is an extraordinary expression of the conviction about devotion we all have various convictions at various levels in our life and our convictions are reflected in our actions so for example we may speak that worldly pleasures don't lead to happiness that world does not make one happy that we may speak in a very logically forceful way and we may quote statistics,quote scripture even quote examples of people whom we knew or people who are in the news this is all good this all can go towards boosting others convictions when we present and it can also go towards boosting our conviction but presentation outer presentation is not a substitute for inner conviction so sometimes we may argue something forcefully because we ourselves want to be convinced about it it's not that we want to defy scripture but certain conceptions are so deeply held that it takes time to break free from those conceptions and so because breaking free from those conceptions takes time we may decide that we may still want to appear as if we are still spiritually exalted and because of that wanting to appear spiritually exalted we may well put on a facade and facade centers on the idea that we are fine that we are convinced that there is that whenever we make a convincing presentation to others at that time we should also contemplate on that ourselves not so that how we can present it better in future but how we can apply it better certainly we cannot not preach siddhanta just because we don't have conviction in it we can share the siddhanta according to our understanding, our realization and not just according to our realization we can share it according to our aspiration also our aspiration means that we strive to the best of our capacity to live according to it and we keep striving for that even if there are reversals even if there are slips and falls at the same time he said actions speak louder than words Sarovam Bhattacharya has demonstrated through his actions his renunciation of liberation normally people practice renunciation to gain liberation but Sarovam Bhattacharya actually he was never in the renounced order but he had conviction about the impersonal conception of liberation and with that conviction he had acted in his life and while acting thus he had slowly but surely strived to not only try to understand that siddhanta based on impersonalist commentators but also teach that to others so the position where he was teaching Lord Chaitanya also but then Lord Chaitanya pointed out the flaws in the impersonalist interpretation of Vedanta and thereafter gave up devotional understanding duh earthquake that must have happened within him would have been life shaking now for a person to have to give up everything that one has believed for a person to abandon the very core conviction of one's life would by no means have been easy but he did that and he is doing that his strongest testimony to his conviction and therefore when he is speaking this, he is not just speaking this by rote repetition he is actually as in English they say he has put his money where his mouth is that means he has actually invested himself in devotion completely giving up impersonal conceptions and his is not just the fanatical zeal of a new convert sometimes when we take up a path we have so much zeal that we want to convert everyone to our path and at that time the point is not that this is our point yeah I am right and you must understand that I am right often that is the ego driven attitude which can alienate people and which often makes converts get a bad reputation so as narrow minded fanatical over zealous but here Sarvabhauma is actually speaking with deep realization and he is quacking his talk by having become utterly devoted to lord Chaitanya and now he is using his phenomenal scriptural learning and his analytical capacity to explain his convictions so he is telling us that Sarashtra Krishna is so relishable that anything that deprives one of service is seen as terrible how can I lose service to Krishna and that conviction about service to Krishna that is what is the central sentiment to be focused on here in verses like this when we see Sarvabhauma speaking with such amazing conviction what we understand essentially is that he is speaking here about the ecstasy of devotion and because liberation itself may be exalted it is an exalted destination for a devotee who is experiencing the ecstasy everything that takes one away from that ecstasy is terrible and we can focus primarily on this positive aspect how wonderful must be the thrill of bhakti how wonderful must be the joy of pure love for Krishna at that level of realization one feels that even bhakti even mukti is akin to akin to a great deprivation akin to something like hell and there is a focus rather than without realization going about condemning mukti we can focus on trying to deepen our realization and our commitment to the practice of bhakti so that we can also one day start relishing the ecstasy that is the reason for this kind of extraordinary proclamation.