CC daily 200 – 7.23-24 – Non-expression of emotion conveys depth of affection

Through that loving exchange thank you lord chaitanya in a very endearing way is now expressing why he doesn't want to take mukunda with him mukunda was eminently in a mood of service to the lord and mukunda did not want to give comforts but still what he wanted to do was give the lord at least did not want the lord to endure austerities and accordingly he told that he would not give comforts to lord chaitanya and he felt that even if the lord does not enjoy comforts at least now he's the lord he's he's my worshipable master he is the lord of the goddess of fortune he's how can he perform austerity so when you would see the lord bathing in cold water three times a day when you would see the lord sleeping on the hard floor or a hard surface he couldn't tolerate it now there are when a person feels distress about something when we are acting in a particular way and the person who sees this feels distress that person may interfere and try to stop us or that person may verbally express protest or the person may stay silent now if the relationship between the two people is not very deep then that silence will not even be noticed that means that let's say a and b are having a relationship now a is doing something that is displeasing to b now it's expected that b will express something not just displeasing, hurting to b, distressing to b, b will express some objection to that now when b does not express that objection that itself is also an expression of affection just as protest is an expression of affection similarly silence is also an expression of affection how is that because when there is silence then underlying that silence is the understanding of actually there is nothing which this person is not ready to tolerate even one's own distress one is ready to tolerate but one doesn't want to increase the distress of the other person just like when warriors are going on a war or kings are going on a royal expedition then the royal ladies may be fearful, may be apprehensive about the safety of their husband but they will not shed tears at that time because tears are seen as may be causing inauspiciousness so although they may be feeling anxiety and distress but they will not express that through tears and to control one's tears when one is feeling grief and that grief naturally wants to vent itself through tears so controlling one's tears at that time is also a great sign of affection first of all when there is no love there is no emotion at all so there is no grief, there is no joy when there is no expression of affection that may be because there is no affection at all but when there is affection then there is natural expression of that affection but when there is very deep love then even the expression of affection is curtailed for the pleasure of one's beloved so in this sense we see here that the affection of Mukunda and of Jagadananda finds expression in opposite ways Jagadananda expresses himself aggressively by protesting vehemently against Lord Chaitanya's doing austerities that protest is in terms of almost insisting that Lord Chaitanya enjoy comforts and luxuries in contrast the way Mukunda tackles the situation is by taking the opposite tack that is of not expressing oneself at all by just staying silent and now we discussed how Jagadananda also tries to offer the silent treatment to Lord Chaitanya but there is a silence that is more eloquent than speech there is silence which is an expression of anger and that silence speaks louder than speech at such times but there is another silence that if the two people in the relationship are not very close and are not attentive in that relationship that silence may not even be noticed so Chaitanya Mahaprabhu says that here when Mukunda feels distress but doesn't express the distress out of his love for me then that causes me even more great distress because I feel that he loves me so much that out of his love for me even the emotion that is natural is not expressing that how great is his love at least if he expresses his distress then I can talk and I can try to alleviate his distress but just for the sake of love although he is distressed by seeing my austerities but because he is simply devoted to my service and he doesn't want to displease me in any way so although he is displeased he does not express that displeasure but instead lets me go on what I am doing while suffering silently and that silent suffering is so endearing that Lord Chaitanya says that he is not saying this explicitly but the words and the mood in which the words are spoken and the context in which the words are spoken all of them together convey that the Lord is feeling deeply moved by the love that his associates have exhibited and he in this way tells that in the context of the South India Yatra on that Yatra there will be even more austerities because there will not at least in the Lord is staying in one place there are some basic facilities but when one is travelling all such facilities are available and in that situation when no facilities are available to be able to live on is extremely difficult and one who is able to live on in such situations for the Lord at that time the Lord out of his commitment for austerity will do all this but Mukunda will feel very distressed and Lord says that I will feel even more distressed by seeing him in that condition and so I do not want him to come in this way the Lord acknowledges the love of his devotees but still does not express, does not accept their offering of the specific form of service of accompanying him to South India Thank you.