Connecting with ourselves to connect with others
Thank you very much. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.
I am grateful to be here amongst all of you. I apologise for being late. It will be almost 45 minutes to reach here from a short distance.
So, I have been very inspired by His Holiness Dev Amrit Maharaj's writings. Especially his Searching for Vedic India book was for me in my spiritual life, at a particular stage, it was an intellectual saviour for me. So, many questions which I had were answered in a intellectually incisive as well as a devotionally faithful way.
And since then, I am always inspired to associate with those who are inspired by Dev Amrit Maharaj. And when I had come to Australia a couple of years ago, Maharaj told me that you want to see how he is actually helping share Krishna's message in the western world. You should come to New Zealand.
So, I am here as a service to you. And actually I had planned that maybe I could have all of you speak a little bit and then I will speak. But I think we don't have that much time now.
So, maybe a future visit. So, I will speak today on the topic of, I was told that this was like a Sankirtan workshop. So, I have brought three and I will speak on the topic of connecting with ourselves to connect with others.
We want to connect with others and share Krishna with them. So, we need to connect with ourselves for that purpose. Each age that we live in has a particular ethos associated with it.
A particular kind of thought pattern. And if you consider recent history, you can say there are three ages. The pre-modern age, the modern age and the post-modern age.
The age that we currently live in is largely the post-modern age. So, in the pre-modern age, the primary source of authority, of knowledge for people was scripture. Whether it was the Vedas in India or the Bible in the West or the Quran in the Middle East.
Scripture was considered to be the source, reliable source of knowledge. In the modern age, the authority of science became more and more prominent. And it displaced religion and scripture as authority.
So, anything that would make rational sense, that was considered, if it was accepted by science, then it was considered true. In the post-modern age, which came upon the world at different times, from the 1980s, 1990s, India is entering into post-modernism now. More and more people started recognising the limitedness and the problems even with science as a source of knowledge.
So, people are still very enamoured with science as an engine for developing technology. And people want technology, but science is also understood to be driven by agendas of particular scientists. There is politics even in science, there are cultural influences, there are social influences.
One famous scientist, he said that science advances one grave at a time. What that means is that, if a particular scientist has a particular theory and if that scientist is in power, even if there is evidence which is contrary, that evidence is suppressed. And science is in advance, the alternative paradigm doesn't get scope to express itself unless there is a removal of that person from authority, which usually happens at his or her death.
So, in today's post-modern age, neither science nor religion are considered authoritative. With the spread of information through the net, the dark side of everything can be very easily known to people. So, in the post-modern age, the driving ethos is social justice.
There should not be any kind of discrimination against anybody. Anybody who is discriminated against, they are favoured. Whether it is feminism or whether it is affirmative action for the races who are discriminated against.
In general, in the post-modern age, the underdog is always considered to be the victim and is favoured. So, any kind of discrimination is seen as taboo. And with this ethos of social justice, the idea is that different people come from different thought processes.
And whatever works for you, you do that. That is the idea. So, the most authentic source of knowledge in the post-modern age is considered to be experience.
If something works for you, tell me about it. I want to know about it. So, there are basically three ways in which we could communicate a message.
One is that this is the truth. This is the truth and anything contradicting this is false. So, this approach is immediately rejected.
How do you know it is the truth? It is just from your perspective. The relativization of knowledge, relativization of morality, it is very prominent. Of course, the relativization has its problems.
I was speaking in America, in Silicon Valley to a group of industry, company CEOs and other industry leaders. And then we were discussing about moral relativism. So, we may feel that whatever feels right to whoever, that is right for them.
And morality in that sense is relative. Now, at one level, you can say it is true. But a simple question can counter this.
Is there something in the world that is going on right now that you consider as wrong? Obviously, you say terrorists are killing innocent people, children are being abused, people, there is human trafficking. These are terrible things. When terrorists are killing people, they don't think they are doing wrong.
They think they are doing the right thing. So, if right and wrong is simply determined by a person's subjective opinion or feeling, then we have no right to consider a terrorist who is killing thousands of people to be wrong. But we do consider it wrong.
So, after that, one employee, one person who was a top level manager in Amazon, he came and told me that what you said, it struck a chord with me. Because in Amazon, they have the policy that when they are going to advertise dresses, they have apparel and they have women's dresses where they will show women wearing those dresses. But they say when we have girls' dresses below 18, we don't show girls wearing dresses.
Because we don't want to encourage child sexual abuse or paedophilia or anything of that sort. So, even in a commercial company driven with the motive of making money, we also have certain limits. The point which I am making here is that nobody can relativise morality absolutely.
We all have limits and somebody crosses those limits, we think that they are wrong. But still, what happens is, if we talk about morality coming from religion, then people are put off because they have seen religious morality as a source of sectarianism, of conflict, of wars. Once there was a nun, she was taking care of some orphan girls.
And one of the girls, as she was growing up, she asked this girl, what do you want to become when you grow up? She said, I want to become a prostitute. What? Oh, Mary, oh Jesus, whatever I heard. What did you say? Yes, I want to become a prostitute.
Thank God. I thought you wanted to become a protestant. So, well, we have religious conceptions of what is right or wrong.
Somebody who is a Catholic may think that being a protestant is worse than being a prostitute. So, what happens is, this way, actually religion is often seen as a source of division and sectarianism. So, if something works, that's why experience is considered as a source of authority.
If something works for you, I want to do it. So, I said there are three ways of communicating. One is, this is right.
And immediately people say, how do you know it is right? What is the authority for saying it is right? You may quote scripture, but people will find reasons. Oh, the scripture has come from him. This is not a revelation.
This has come from this historical age. These people, these ideas are rooted. They come with all sorts of ideas.
The other is instructive. You should do this. That is totally rejected.
Any kind of authority, people say no. Although, over a period of time, we all recognise that we need authority. Oscar Wilde is a British author.
And he said that when I was 15, my father was a fool. Now I am 25 and I am amazed how much the old guy learned in the last 10 years. So, we do learn.
So, it is not that the father has learned in the 10 years. If the son has matured and he recognises that what my father was saying was right. So, we do mature and we learn over age.
But anybody who imposes, that is not right. So, the instructive or the, you could say, the truth claiming. This is what you should do or this is the right thing.
That sort of approach is immediately rejected by the postmodern mind. But, if something works for me, this is what I do and this is why I do it. If you want to share our experiences of why something works for me, then people are open to that.
Because, for most people, they see that things are not working. Whether it is the government, whether it is the economy, whether it is, people are trying to live different ways of life. It just doesn't work.
So, if a couple comes and says that, they are saying, and they say that, we have been happily married for the last 25 years. And, they follow it up by saying that we would like to share how we made it work. So, the young couple, yes, please tell us, we would like to know.
But, if they say, no, we have been married for the last 25 years and we believe that divorce is a sin against God and those who divorce will go to hell. Then the audience will say, you go to hell. So, any kind of didactic or instructive mode of communication is put off by the, is rejected by the post-modern mind.
But experiential is considered authoritative. And Sanatana Goswami, who is one of our prominent Acharyas, he says that the highest Pramana, the highest source of knowledge is Anubhav, is experience. We do want to follow scripture.
We learn from the Bhagavad Gita and other books, even by Shri Prabhupada, what the truths of life are and how we are to apply them in our life. But after that, it is for us to realise. It is when we realise, then the conviction that comes is extremely deep rooted.
So once Shri Prabhupada, at a time in his con-history, when book distribution was going on very rigorously, and Prabhupada was encouraging it also, at that time, some devotees who were very good book distributors, they said to Prabhupada that we have found out certain lines when we approach people, we can speak like this, we can speak like that, and we found that people just take books by that. So we are thinking that we will go from temple to temple and train devotees in speaking such lines. So Prabhupada became very great.
Prabhupada said that Krishna Consciousness is individual, voluntary and spontaneous. Krishna Consciousness is individual, voluntary and spontaneous. When a soul desires to serve Krishna, then devotional service is performed.
When a soul is inspired to serve Krishna, then devotional service is performed. So he said, yes, you can travel temple to temple, but first of all, inspire people to serve Krishna. They will serve in their own way.
Serve in their own way doesn't mean doing anything and everything. But the fact is we all have our individuality. And connecting with ourselves for connecting with others, that means if when we are trying to share what we are doing with others, if that which has worked for us, that which gives us conviction that this works for me, if we focus on that and from that platform share with others, then there is an authenticity that comes by that.
And that authenticity is what attracts people. There is authority and there is authenticity. If we seek authority because, ok, your scripture says this, fine, why should I believe in your scripture? It is difficult for people to take that leap of faith in each other.
But if something has worked for us and we share that experience with others, then we can actually attract people. We connect with ourselves and find out what is it that inspires me in Krishna Bhakti? What is it that convinces me in Krishna Bhakti? And we focus on that. Other, it is not the specifics.
The specifics can vary from person to person. Somebody may be more intellectual and they like philosophy. Somebody may be more musical and they like kirtans.
Somebody may be more visual and they like decoration, spiritual decorations. That's different. But the essential inspiration of why we are attracted to serving Krishna, why we are attracted to practising Krishna Bhakti, if we focus on that essential current that flows within us, then it can flow through us and connect with others.
So yes, we can learn certain lines, certain standard questions are there, how to answer those questions. We can and we should take that leap. But the important thing is, it's not just speaking the answers.
It's not just repeating the lines. It's actually sharing what is in our heart that attracts others. And in this mood, we practise Krishna Bhakti, we can also go deep within ourselves.
When we look at ourselves and ask, why am I doing what I am doing? We have our emotions which keep coming and going. And we have our intentions. So our emotions are circumstantial.
They come and they go. The same thing that I find attractive today, the same thing I find irresistible today, by the mind's wavering emotions, I may find it unbearable tomorrow. I find it unbearable tomorrow.
That's just the nature of the mind. And say two people are in love with each other. They may say that.
They fight against the whole world. I can't live without her. I can't live without her.
And then they come together and they live for some time. And then they fight. I can't live with you.
So the same mind that irresistibly drew them to each other, the same emotions can drive them apart. So our emotions are important. But they are not all important.
We have to have our intentions, which persevere irrespective of our emotions. So it is only when our intentions are strong, then we can have commitment. We can persevere in anything.
So our emotions will come and they will go. That's just the nature of the mind. The mind is like a software programme within us.
And this software programme is having its own patterns. It's like if we search something on Google. If I search something on Google and you search something on Google, we will not get the same results.
Because Google customises its results according to how we have searched in the past, what searches we have clicked on. So although we may search the exact same parameters, we get different results. Similarly for us, if we consider our mind to be like a big Google.
So all of us may hear the same talk. But what thought that talk will evoke, for every one of us it will be different. It's said that by those who analyse public speech, in general, for whatever speaker speaks, the audience gets only 20%.
And God knows which 20%. So what applies externally, if we consider our mind to be like a big Google, so the same point different people may hear and different thoughts come up with it. And actually it's not just different people.
The same point we may hear on different days, different times and different thoughts will come to us. And what applies to external thoughts coming in or external points coming in and stimulating different thoughts within us, that applies even to our intentions. We decide to do something.
And some days I feel I want to do this. Some days, sometimes when we chant. So most of you are familiar with japa.
So we chant the holy names in japa. So sometimes when we chant, few days we feel so good, I just feel so much strength, so much presence of Krishna, so much proximity of Krishna. Chanting should never end.
I just want to go on and on chanting. Some other days, chanting never ends. Sometimes we take our beads out of the bead bag.
Has somebody changed the beads? Instead of 108, has somebody put 1008 beads over it? So, our emotions are flickering. In the same holy name we are hearing, but one day we may get taste, and another day we may actually get distaste. I just don't want to do this.
So if we let ourselves be driven by our emotions, then we will never be studying anything. Not just in our spiritual life, but even in our professional life, even in our relationships, nothing. The nature of the mind is that it soon becomes dissatisfied with whatever it is doing.
Even if we go to paradise, the mind will say, yes, but it will find something to be dissatisfied about. So we can't let ourselves be driven by our emotions alone. In the Bhagavad Gita, in the 17th chapter, in the 16th verse, Krishna talks about austerity of the mind.
So he says that the first austerity of the mind is Manahaprasada, is satisfaction. So Krishna is telling, satisfaction as an austerity of the mind. Normally when you think of austerity, say, if it's a holy day and I decide to fast, I feel like eating, but I decide I will not eat.
That's an austerity. So what does satisfaction as an austerity of the mind mean? It means that I feel dissatisfied, but I refuse to give it to that person. Prabhupada explains that the more we contemplate on sense objects, the more the mind becomes agitated and the more we become dissatisfied.
Instead, if we direct our mind towards the Vedic literature, towards scriptures, that has so many satisfying stories, that has a satisfying philosophy. We observe ourselves in that and thus we can cultivate satisfaction. So satisfaction is not just an emotion we feel, it is also a decision we make.
Satisfaction is not just an emotion we feel, it is also a decision we make. That means in our life there will be some things which are going right and some things which are going wrong. And if I look at the things that are going wrong, I will become dissatisfied.
If I look at the things that are going right, I will be satisfied. So my favourite example for this is suppose we are invited for a programme and there is a feast after the programme. But this is a special feast in which everybody has different items in their plate.
Everybody has a distinct delicacy. All are delicacies. So when I have my plate, I have delicacies here.
But instead of looking at my plate, I look at, what does she have? Oh, I don't have that. Oh, I don't have that. I keep looking at what all, who else has and I feel dissatisfied.
Instead I look at what is on my plate, eat it, relish it, I will be satisfied. So in this sense, satisfaction is a decision that we can make. I won't look at what is there in whose plate.
I will focus on what is in my plate. And I will savour that. So in this way, austerity of the mind means that the emotion of dissatisfaction may come.
But intention is that I won't dwell on it. I won't think about it. In our life, things frequently go wrong.
And it is not that when we are practising bhakti, somehow when things are going wrong, we have to think that everything is right. Things do go wrong in life. But even if we can't be grateful for all situations, we can be grateful in all situations.
We can't be grateful for all situations. Bad things happen. Sometimes our health gets spoiled, we may lose our job, sometimes some relationship gets ruptured, sometimes people treat you unfairly.
Bad things happen. And when those bad things happen, we can't be grateful for those bad things. But we can be grateful in all situations.
Yes, this bad thing has happened. But still, there are so many things right in my life. At least I know what is the purpose of life.
I have the process by which I can pursue that purpose. And by remembering that we have our relationship with Krishna. We have Krishna who is always there in our hearts with us.
By focussing on that, we can become peaceful. I am grateful that at least Krishna is there in my life. We all have, I conclude with two points, that we all have a sense of defining identity for ourselves.
And frequently, our identity comes either from our roles or our relationships. My identity may be that, I am a software engineer. Maybe I am an artist.
I may be that I am the husband of so and so, I am the wife of so and so, I am the father of so and so, I am the son of so and so, I am the daughter of so and so. So, either from our roles or from our relationships, our sense of defining our identity comes. And when we face frustration in these, I define myself as a software engineer and I go to office and given the pink slip, then I get the question, who am I? It's not a philosophical question, but still it is a very disorienting question.
If I define myself as this person's partner, and that person responds and goes off with someone else, who am I? So as long as we define ourselves in terms of our roles or our relationships, we set ourselves up for insecurity, we set ourselves up for frustration. Practising spiritual life is not just about singing some mantras or doing some meditation or studying some books, all these are important, but all these are meant to change our defining identity. By our spiritual practises, we need to define ourselves as servants of Krishna.
Krishna is the Lord and I am His servant. And Krishna is always my devotion and as His servant, I am always His servant. So these two realities, our eternal relationship of service with Krishna and Krishna's benevolent disposition towards us, these two realities will never change.
If we are rooted in these two realities, if I define myself as a servant of Krishna and Krishna is always my relative, it is not that everything that happens is good, bad things happen, but Krishna can bring good even out of the bad. That is Krishna's expertise. Bad things may happen, but good will come out of it.
So if I have these two understandings and I base myself on these two understandings, I am a servant of Krishna. Then as a servant of Krishna, I may have different roles. As a servant of Krishna, I work as a software engineer, as a servant of Krishna, I am this person's spouse and this person's parent and this person's child.
Now when we are serving Krishna, we would like to serve him well in whatever roles and relationships we are in. But suppose a particular role or relationship doesn't work out, we don't get frustrated by it. Why? Because that doesn't cause us an identity crisis.
I am not a software engineer. I am not an artist, if I define myself as an author and then no one publishes my book. I think, who am I? Bad.
If you see these are roles or these are relationships, these are what I am going to do. But these are ways in which I can serve Krishna. If one particular thing doesn't work out, I find some other way to motivate Krishna.
The example that is given in the Bhagavatam in Kunti Maharani's prayers is that, तोई में अन्ने विषयों मत्तेर्मधे पत्ति सकत् अतिमत्वःतादधा गंगेवोखमधंपति। She prays that, just as the Ganga river flows towards the ocean, let my consciousness always flow towards you. So our various roles, our various relationships are meant to be channels by which we serve Krishna. Channels by which our consciousness moves towards Krishna.
And sometimes some channels get blocked. Sometimes some role may get parted, sometimes some relationship may get disrupted. When that happens, the water cannot flow through that channel, find some other channel.
And keep moving towards Krishna. So if we are based in this understanding that my relationship with Krishna is my defining identity, then even if particular things don't work out, still my purpose can work out. My purpose is to serve Krishna.
In this, Prabhupada was asked, what is the best prayer that you can offer to Krishna? Prabhupada said, pray to Krishna, please give me the strength to serve you always. So, please give me the strength to serve you always. That means, let the water of my consciousness always flow towards you.
Cough The cough is blocking my speech, flow of my speech towards all of you. I hope I can find some other channel. So, first point is that I am, I try to be fixed that I am a servant of Krishna.
I find some way or the other to keep serving. Everybody wants to serve God. Did you know that? Even atheists want to serve God.
But everyone wants to serve God as an advisor. Even atheists, they actually say, if God had existed, he should have done like this. He should have created the world like this.
He should have done like this. So, for the atheists, the non-existent God pops into existence to receive their advice. And after gratefully receiving their advice, pops back into non-existence.
When we are serving Krishna, we need to have faith in Krishna's omnipotence and his omniscience. Many times, when we want to serve Krishna, we want to do something. This is not working out.
This is good. I want it to work out. So, what happens? When it is not working out, we pray to Krishna.
Krishna, please let this happen. Please let this happen. So, yes, naturally we should pray to Krishna as something with some difficulty we are facing.
But we need to make our bhakti dependent on the fulfilment of that prayer. Why not? Because when we pray to Krishna, you must make this happen. Otherwise, what is the use of serving Krishna? When you start thinking like that, then what are we doing? We are forming a relationship with Krishna.
But the terms of the relationship are, Krishna, let's work together. My intelligence and your strength. So, I know how to solve the problem.
And you just do this, the problem will be solved. But Krishna is not only stronger than us, he is also wiser than us. So, rather than half trusting Krishna and accepting his omnipotence alone, we can also accept his omniscience.
That means, he is wiser than us and he knows better than us what is best for us. So, if we do that, Krishna, I want to serve you. This was my plan.
It's not working. You please guide me how I can serve you. So, Prabhupada says in a purport that a devotee may be perplexed.
But a devotee is never discouraged. Perplexed means, I don't know how to serve, what to do, Krishna. I don't know.
But discouraged means, I don't want to serve Krishna. So, I was in Fort Lauderdale in America just a couple of weeks ago. And I spoke on a similar topic.
And then, a Ukrainian girl, she came to me. And she was talking with me after the class. And she told me an experience.
That she had gone to a new Vrindavan temple, which is on top of a mountain in a forested area. And she was supposed to go back from there to the city. And she had some urgent work.
And there was another devotee. She didn't have a car. So, the other devotee said, I'll pick you up next morning at 10 o'clock.
And she went there at 9.50. And she was waiting. It became 10.15, 10.30, 10.45. And this boy was going to pick her up. His phone was also not connected.
And finally, at 11.30, she connected with him. And she was furious by that time. And finally, she connected with him.
And he said, Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. I forgot. And he says, I have come very far now.
I have an urgent appointment. I cannot come back now. And the connection went off at that time.
She was burning with anger. He said, how could you forget like this? I had important work. And she went back.
She was trying to calm herself down. And that evening, another devotee came. Do you know this boy? He said, yes.
He was still angry with you. How could you have forgotten? He said, his car met with a very bad accident. It was a drunk driver who hit him.
And the drunk driver actually hit him fully on the passenger side. And she saw the photo of the car. And he showed me the photo of the car.
And the passenger side was completely devastated. This boy was in the hospital. He survived.
But she realised that Krishna has saved her. She had been in that car. She was in the hospital.
So actually, Krishna can work for our good even through others' mistakes. This boy, it was his mistake. He forgot.
But it was not just his mistake that was operating. Krishna had a plan. So, we sometimes may just realise, okay, this was for my good after a few hours.
Sometimes it may take a few years to realise it. Sometimes it may take even a few decades. But if we have this faith that I am the servant of Krishna and Krishna is my well-wisher.
He will bring good even out of the bad. Then we can keep moving in our life trying to serve Krishna. Rather than asking the question, why? Why did this happen? Why did this person do this? Why did this happen? The why question quite often is an express way to frustration.
Many times the why question has no answers. We just change the question to how. How can I serve Krishna in this situation? We will find doors opening for us.
And we will be able to move forward. So, these two truths, Krishna, my defining identity is that I am your servant. And that Krishna is our eternal well-wisher.
Bad things may happen, but he will bring good out of the bad. By these twin truths, we can be firmly rooted in our bhakti. We can be authentically connected with Krishna.
And we can authentically inspire others to connect with Krishna. In that way, whatever we send our way, we will keep moving through it towards Krishna. And towards enduring peace and satisfaction in our relationship with Krishna.
I will quickly summarise. I spoke about connecting with ourselves for connecting with Krishna. Sorry, for connecting with others.
So, in the pre-modern age, religion was, scripture was authority. Modern day science was authority. In the post-modern age, it is social justice that is authority.
Nobody should be imposed anything. Nobody should be discriminated against anything. So, is this ethos? If we tell somebody, this is the truth.
Or you should do it. People reject that. There is a range of moral relativism.
Although moral relativism is not true. Because all of us have some things which we consider, they are universally bad. No matter who does it.
But practically, people don't accept this approach. So, what they accept is, how it works for you. So, if we share Krishna Bhakti, this is what I do and this is why I do it.
That experiential basis for sharing is considered authentic and non-threatening. And for us, Prabhupada also encouraged that when he said that, don't just repeat lines. Krishna Consciousness is individual, voluntary and spontaneous.
So, we want to be inspired to serve Krishna. We want to inspire others to serve Krishna. And how do we get this inspiration to serve Krishna? By recognising that our mind's emotions are flickering.
The same mind says, I can't live without you. It says, I can't live with you. So, rather than going along the mind's emotions, we need to cultivate a strong intention.
Knowing the mind is flickering. So, how do we get to that strong intention? By basing ourselves on two truths. If we base our identity on our roles or our relationships, then based on the way people behave, the way things turn out, we will get disturbed.
And our moods will make us vulnerable, they will sabotage our intention. If you understand, my defining identity is that I am a servant of Krishna. And whatever roles and relationships I have, they are like the channels for the water of my consciousness to move towards Krishna.
One channel gets blocked, find another channel. So, we can have that security that I am the servant of Krishna when we accept that as our defining identity. And what about things that are going wrong? Krishna is our well-wisher.
That doesn't mean everything that happens is good. But that Krishna, that everything that happens is for good. Even for bad things, Krishna can bring out good.
Then, when dissatisfaction comes, rather than just giving in to that feeling, you can see dissatisfaction is not just an emotion that comes upon us. It's a decision. Satisfaction is a decision we can make.
We can't be grateful for all situations, but we can be grateful in all situations. And by praying to Krishna, as Prabhupada told us, please give me the strength to serve you. We may be perplexed, but we won't be discouraged.
And by the service attitude, and by the faith in Krishna's benevolence, we'll find a way ahead, both in our own service, and when we are practising Bhakti with this authentic understanding, then that will come out, and we will share this. This works for me, and this will work for you also. Please try it out.
Thank you very much.