Defiance used in the service of devotion – Ramayana reflection

Sat Sri Akal.

Tatajna Gacchati Ramachandra Sulakshmani Arahanchaye Sasithye Chakrand Ramasindhu Janaitri Govinda Damodar Madhaveti The Govinda Damodar Stotra, which belongs to Thakur, He describes how devotees in various situations, at various times, have remembered the Lord. So here he describes how Kaushalya remembered the Lord at the time of Lord Ram, her own son, when he was departing. By the order of his father, Gacchuti Ramachandra went to Ramachandra and said, I have desperately promised your Janitri, call out the mother of Ram.

So, when Ram got the order from his father, who was heartbroken while giving that order, that he should go to the forest. Actually, it was not Ram who ordered, it was not Dashrath who ordered. Dashrath was so heartbroken that he couldn't even speak those words.

It was Kaikeyi who spoke them on behalf of Dashrath and she spoke to him in a very dharmic sounding way, saying that, O Ram, please help your father to stay true to his word. And then she said, that he has given me his word that he will make Bharat as the prince regent and he will send you to the forest for 14 years. And Ram immediately agreed to it.

His gracefulness amidst blatant injustice is astonishing. And then, Ram had multiple crushing tasks. First was not only that he had to accept a huge reversal himself, but along with that, he had to ensure that he had to help others maintain their composure and accept this huge calamitous reversal.

So, after he left Kaikeyi's chambers, that is where Dashrath had been the whole previous night, trying to somehow or the other stop, somehow or the other persuade Kaikeyi to give up her evil designs. But Kaikeyi was adamant and unrelenting. And then also after receiving the order of Dashrath through Kaikeyi, Ram left there and he went to break the news to his mother in her chambers.

So, Kaushalya had been performing austerities. She had been fasting through the night to invoke blessings of the gods on her son for his big day, the next day. So, when she saw Ram coming, she naturally presumed that he had come to take her blessings for his upcoming ascensity to regency, ascension as Prince Regent.

And she started speaking words of appreciation and blessing. And she suddenly stopped when she saw Ram's face. Although he was keeping his emotions in a tight leash, but still she could see that something was wrong.

And then when she asked, Oh Ram, this is a day of great happiness. So, then Ram told that my venerable father has told me to go to the forest for 14 years. And has decided that Bharat will be installed as the Prince Regent.

And this he did to honour two promises that he had given to Kaikeyi long ago. He had promised her to give her two boons. And these were the boons that she was asked.

Shocked, aghast, devastated as the reality and the gravity of what was being spoken sank into her. She reeled under the impact. Normally, if some small thing goes wrong, doesn't go according to our plan, we get upset.

We get frustrated. What then to speak of when something goes entirely opposed to our plan. So, where is becoming the Prince Regent and where is going to the forest? So, tears started coming from her eyes.

And she just couldn't bear the prospect of her own son, Ram, going to the forest. And suffering there in the forest, the austerities of forest life. So, we will focus in this talk on how defiance can also be used in the Lord's service.

Normally, being a servant means being obedient. But in the mood of service, sometimes defiance may also be manifest. And that defiance adds to the… That defiance, when it is done in the mood of service, then although externally it seems the opposite of service, because service means doing the Lord's will.

When you want to serve someone, essentially it means doing that person's will. Especially with respect to the Lord. So, then this situation, to be defiant, may seem to be counter-devotional because it means not being obedient.

But if the intention is devotional, if the intention is, as in the case of Kaushalya, she wanted to not have her son be subject to any discomfort. So, that becomes devotional. So, we will look at several characters in the Mahabharata, in the Ramayana, where defiance is exhibited in the service, in devotion.

So, here, Kaushalya, the normal duty of a wife is to obey her husband. And, of course, that does not mean that the husband should arbitrarily dominate his wife. But both of them work as a dharmic team in helping each other in their spiritual journey and helping their son, helping their children.

In helping the children to grow as all-round good human beings and all-round, and advance spiritually also. So, now, Kaushalya replies over here, Oh Ram, Ram had concluded his great announcement by saying that, Oh mother, now I have come to take your blessings so that I can go to the forest. So, Kaushalya said, Oh Ram, I did not give you my blessing.

In fact, I did not even give you my permission. A mother's order, mother's word, obeying the mother is as important as obeying the father. In fact, according to some scriptures, obeying the mother is more important also.

So, therefore, Oh Ram, because I forbade you, I did not give you the permission. Leave alone the blessing, you should not go to the forest. Now, this presents Ram with a serious ethical dilemma.

In the Valmiki Ramayana, when Ram's response is depicted, Ram's response is depicted at that time. While describing his response, it is said about Ram that the word Dharma, how he is Dharmagya, how he is Dharmi, basically, how he knows Dharma and how he uses Dharma. So, several epithets are used to describe that.

And then Ram replies very gently, but superbly, that, Oh mother, the father is the head of the family and the king is the head of the state and we all have to obey him. So, please, do not stop me from fulfilling my father's instruction. And please do not hold anything against the king.

Since it is important that we all do our duty. Ram speaks about how we are all, that we are not free to act in this world entirely. We are not entirely free to act.

There are situations which come in our life, where the things which we like to do, we are not able to do in those situations. And that is a part of being a woman, that is a part of human life. And at that time, Khanda spoke about how we are not the body, we are the soul.

And in our relationships at the level of the body, which are temporary, we should focus on acting dharmically, so that the soul can move towards the eternal destination. And as he spoke this wisdom, wisdom that of course Kaushalya and, now why this had happened, Lakshmana was also there. So both of them were hearing.

Lakshmana had accompanied Ram. And both of them heard the words of wisdom that Ram spoke about how one should not let worldly attachments, attachments to our family and relatives and such things deviate us from the path of beauty. For it is the path of beauty that will bring, for it is the endurance of beauty that will bring about auspiciousness in the long run.

And as Kaushalya heard this, she realised that Ram is utterly firm in his resolve to go to the forest to honour his father's word. Realising this, she decided that, she in her despair, she made another fervent request to Ram. She says, Oh Ram, if you must go to the forest, then please take me too.

Because I will not be able to live without you. And then, in a nutshell, Kaushalya started speaking about all the grief, all the sorrows, the heart breaks that she had gone through in her life. She said that, even after getting married for a long time, I did not get any child.

And after severe austerities and penances and performance of sacrifices, finally I got a child and what a child, a child like you, who is filled with virtues. The Naam Rama and the Scratch Ramas. One is ornamented by so many qualities that they cannot be counted.

So, having you as a son was a relief from all the grief. First the grief of not having a child and second the grief of having been neglected by the king in favour of a junior queen. Kaushalya, in her diligent dutifulness towards her husband Dasaratha, had never complained about the special attention that the king showed to Kaikeyi.

Kaushalya had been the first queen and therefore the principal queen. But still, when Aishwarya married Kaikeyi and Kaikeyi was young and very beautiful, and Aishwarya started spending more time with her and started favouring her much more. So, Kaushalya, though she nominally remained the first and therefore supposedly the principal queen, Kaikeyi became the king's favourite queen.

And there was a subtle shift in power within the palace dynamics in the royal household. But although there was this inevitable rivalry between the co-wives, still it was never exquisite and they kept such themes of rivalry concealed and they all cooperatively took care of their children. Indeed, Rama took care of Kaikeyi as if she were just like Kaushalya.

He served her just like she was his mother. And one of the things that Dasaratha reminded Kaikeyi when she asked for her ghastly wounds is that, I don't think Rama has ever offended you in any way. In fact, he obeys you and serves you just like even your own son.

What mother can desire such a thing for her own son? So, even if you want her to be made as queen's regent, please don't exile Rama. Now, Kaikeyi, as Kaushalya is saying to Rama that, for a long I suffered the pain of childlessness and the pain of being neglected for the sake of a junior queen. But it was all tolerable because I had you, O Rama.

But with you withdrawing to the forest and Kaikeyi's son placed at the central stage and the king under the control of Kaikeyi, I will be afflicted, I will be neglected, I will be scorned in the royal household and I will not be able to tolerate it. And more than that, I will not be able to tolerate separation from you. So, if you are determined to go to the forest, then please take Pidu.

Just like when a calf is taken away from the mother cow, the cow desperately follows that calf. Similarly, if you go to the forest, O Rama, then I will accompany you. Or I will follow you, if you don't let me come with you.

But please let me also come with you to the forest. And there, I was a little happy. So, the king, Rama, speaks, O mother, please do not speak for it is critical of the king.

He was in great grief while giving this instruction to, while asking me to go to the forest. And at such a time, when he is in such grief, he needs you the most by his side. When he has been disappointed and betrayed by his, by one of his wives, when his trust has been betrayed, at that time, he will need your support more than any other time.

A wife's first and foremost position is by the side of her husband. And especially also in this time of need. And the king needs you very much right now.

So, please stay by his side. And then, he added that, O mother, let me go to the forest and 14 years will pass as in just a few moments. And soon I will be back with you, reunited with you.

And in this way, Rama consoled Kausalya. She, out of her devotion, defied both her material and spiritual authority. At least tried to defy.

She defied Ashrath by saying that, you know, I have a hope. And she defied Rama by saying that I don't give you permission. In fact, I give you an instruction which is opposed to the instruction of your father.

But Rama pacified her. And, you see, Kaikeyi's devotion manifested defiance. But that defiance is a manifestation of transcendence.

Transcendental love for Rama. And after this, Lakshmana manifested similar defiance, but his manifestation of defiance was much more aggressive. He said, it recommended to the response, central violence.

Lakshmana had been seated at the Indian's chest, that is, before the ground. And, so, actually speaking, to excite a person in the forest was just one level, was a punishment reserved for among the worst criminals. You know, the worst criminals were executed.

And a punishment just one level below execution was the sentence of exile. So, it was a very severe punishment that was given to Rama. And he had done no wrong at all.

So, Lakshmana couldn't do this injustice. And he protested vehemently, furiously. He said, go down to the kingdom, it is your right.

Since time immemorial in our dynasty, it is the eldest son who becomes the next king. So you have full right to the kingdom. And the king should have done his duty of protecting his right.

But because of celebrity and because of lust, he has refused to do so. And for this, he deserves to be rejected. No blame can be attached to rejecting a king when he himself is deviating from the path of duty.

And now for Lakshmana to say that his own father had become a puppet due to lust, this was a serious accusation. Serious accusation means that it was an accusation that was to accuse any person of being so lusty as to have lost one's sense of duty is bad enough. For a son to accuse this to the father is worse.

And for a citizen to accuse this of looking is also bad. And for all this to be combined together is a serious charge. And Lakshmana went on forcefully saying that I will ensure that your right is protected.

Let us rebel against what we just heard. And he recommended nothing short of a full-fledged coup. And he said, I will ensure that your ascension to regency goes unobstructed.

And if anyone stops you, that person will be death. I will be destroyed by the force of my weapons. So then, Ram replied, Oh Lakshmana, you do not speak such words about our venerable father.

He has acted not out of infatuation but out of obligation. I saw how distressed he was when Kaikeyi spoke those words. It was fantastic to eat the forest.

It was with that, even while he was going through such immense pain, he stuck to his duty as to his glory. Because he is a man of such honour. And we should help him in keeping his word of honour.

Lakshmana was also equally satisfied. So, he said that, Now we never heard of this whole thing about two promises. Of two boons.

If Kaikeyi had been given two boons like this, she could have asked for them long ago. Why did she not ask him now? I think this whole talk about two boons, is just a story made up to deprive you of the kingdom. Don't give in to this, Ram.

So, I think Kaikeyi has become evil. And Kaikeyi, being infatuated by her, is not able to resist, not resisting her rights. Therefore, the only thing for you to do is to forcefully protect your rights, when one who is meant to do his duty and protect his rights is not doing so.

So, now Ram even spoke in defence of Kaikeyi. And he said, Lakshmana, do you remember how Kaikeyi's love for me was like the flow of Ganga? Pure, uninterrupted, constantly flowing. So, Lakshmana, sleeping in anger, felt that, then I can't understand how the Ganga has dried overnight.

And Ram replied that, that's why, when I heard Kaikeyi speaking those unthinkable words, I decided that this was the will of destiny, and therefore, I needed to accept it. So, Lakshmana was furious and he said, only cowards accept injustice as the will of destiny and allow themselves to be trampled on. Courageous people fight for their rights.

So, Ram, you should fight for your right to the kingdom. So, Ram said that, my most important consideration is, what is my duty? As a son, I need to obey my father. And he has ordered me to go to the forest.

Therefore, I can go. It is not my position to question my father. I know, Lakshmana, it is by obedience that there will be the highest auspiciousness for us.

And gently but firmly, Ram convinced Lakshmana that the honourable course of action for Ram, after Dasraj had done the honourable thing, despite it being so difficult for him, so now the honourable thing for Ram was to also accept the sentence of forest. And gradually, seeing the force of Ram's arguments, seeing his conviction, and seeing his determination to stick to the path of duty, Lakshmana agreed. But then he insisted, I will come with you.

And Ram, although initially told him not to, but eventually agreed. The third person that demonstrated defiance and was actually successful in the manifestation of defiance was Sita. And after this, Ram went to Sita and told her about what had happened and he instructed her to live in Adundhya under Bharata's shelter.

And he gave quite a lot of instructions about how she should live in a way that does not provoke Bharata. She should not praise Ram when Bharata is in power. And like that, he told her to live.

Sita was initially shocked to hear Ram's words. Firstly, she was shocked that Ram had been exiled. And secondly, she was shocked that Ram was considering leaving her behind.

And she said that, if you are going to the forest, then let me also go with you. In fact, wherever you are, that is where is my happiness. I am well-living in the forest, in the company of birds and deer and in the lush greenery.

I will be more happy than I will be in the kingdom without you, even if I have the royal comforts here. In response, Ram strongly disagrees and discourages Sita by telling they don't have a romantic view of life in the forest. There are dangerous animals who may attack at any time.

There are swamps. There are insects. There are man-eating rakshasas.

Sometimes one is told, deep in the forest, that there is no edible food available and one has to satisfy the pangs of hunger with nothing more than water and sleep like that. So, forest is no place for you. And indeed, there are so many dangers that just by taking you to the forest, I will be failing in my duty to protect you.

Therefore, you should stay here in the kingdom. Sita, when she heard about Rama's refusal, she became furious. She said, it seems, she had earlier said that while giving me to you in marriage, my father told me to be by your side through thick and thin and to serve you.

But now she said, it seems, my father did not get me married to a man. He got me married to He got me married to someone who is weak and powerless and who cannot protect me in the forest. And she said that actually, for a Kshatriya, his sense of honour and virtue is his defining, his honour and chivalry is his defining characteristic and for someone to impugn that, that is intolerable.

When you mentioned earlier, when he spoke something offensive about Arjuna that he did not have the power to kill Karna and so he put aside his Gandiva and Arjuna had become so angry that he had almost raised his sword to attack Yudhishthira. So the point is, impugning the chivalry and the strength of a Kshatriya is a very strong offence, is something which Kshatriya can take very strong offence against. So now Sita did that, not because she doubted Ram's heroism.

She had seen it when he had lifted up the bow which none of her suitors had been able to lift. She had seen it when the marriage party was returning to Ayodhya and at that time Ram had bested Parashuram who had overpowered 21 generations of Kshatriyas and had been undefeated till then. So she knew about Ram's power.

But here she somehow or the other wanted to make sure that Ram came to Aram, agreed to take her to the forest and that's why she said like this and finally when Ram saw how besides herself in anxiety Sita was at the prospect of being separated from him and how the prospect of going to the forest didn't intimidate her at all rather it was the prospect of being separated from him that intimidated her. So at that time he agreed. He told Sita that actually I was just testing you and since you are so eager to come with me and I will be very happy to have your company in the forest and Lakshman is also coming and we will live happily in the forest.

So here Sita defied Ram's initial command that she should stay in the kingdom but that defiance is also out of devotion and by that defiance she actually passed Ram's test and so this may raise a question when do we know whether when some instruction is given whether that is what we are expected to do or our intention or our determination is being tested through that instruction. So again here what is important is that we also need to have some understanding of Dharma by which we will know what our duty is and if we know what our duty is and if someone is telling us that there is no need for us to do our duty then definitely we can oppose that and even oppose that strongly but if finally our authority says this is what you should do then if they explain based on Guru Sadhu Shastra the rationale for doing particular thing then in exceptional situations the subordination of one's duty for some higher purpose is also accepted but the principle is that defiance again here manifests as a result of as expression of transcendental affection and then further Sita now when Ram eventually got ready himself to go to the forest and then he went finally with Ashrath to take his blessings and to inform him about his departure so at that time Ashrath exhibited similar defiance of his own honour and his own word honour in the sense of honouring his word and he first begged Ram please don't go today stay for one day and then you can go for one day let me offer you all royal pleasures I cannot tolerate the prospect of you living in the forest for so long so please let me please allow me to offer you the best of royal comforts for one day please so Ram went firm and he said that if I have to go to the forest sooner or later then what difference is one day going to make and instead of drawing something out long better that I go immediately for every moment that I stay in the kingdom so your word the honouring of your word is being delayed so please allow me to depart and seeing Ram dressed in seeing Ram asked to depart and finally Ashrath said in despair he said to the assembled courtiers and his generals he said take all the wealth of Ayodhya and take it to the forest and I will also go with Ram to the forest and together we will stay in the forest and thus we will we will transform the forest into Ayodhya and let Ayodhya which will be bereft of all its wealth and people let that become like a forest and let Kaikeyi let the evil Kaikeyi with her son rule this forest in Ayodhya forest like Ayodhya so on hearing this Kaikeyi was furious and she said okay when you promised me promised the kingdom for my son that means you promised the kingdom with its resources will you now through such scheming go back on your word and thus dishonour yourself and the dynasty to which you belong by failing to honour your words so she cut Dashrath to the core and so here Dashrath defied his word and Dashrath in despair rang up to Sita so when Ram went to a different party Dashrath rang up to him to try to stop him and Sumantra told him he called out to the charioteer who was taking Ram Sumantra he told him stop stop stop and Ram said please keep going on why draw out that which is inevitable why increase the pain of this whole thing better finish it right now how can I so be the king so Ram said that actually you can tell him that you did not hear his call and that's why you continued on and similarly we see later that a similar defiance was exhibited by Jabali Jabali was a sage who had accompanied Ram when he went to the forest and at that time when sorry not Ram when Bharat went to the forest to ask Ram to come back so when they so when Bharat's various arguments and requests did not meet with success then Jabali decided to use atheism in the service of devotion this is the most dramatic example of this principle Jabali said that actually your Ram you are talking about duty and you are talking about auspiciousness in the future life but actually this life is all that we have and I pity those who with naive hopes of the future good give up they give up auspiciousness give up the give up enjoyment in this world he said that Ram now the possibility of enjoying the kingdom has come to you should grab this possibility immediately do not let anything any conceptions of duty and future future and the pious merits because of that in the future benefit of the pious merit don't let such things cause you to lose the opportunity that you have for enjoying in the here and now Jabali himself did not believe the word that he was speaking but he spoke then because he desired that Ram out of his love for Ram he wanted Ram to enjoy all the not be in discomfort or austerity but to live in comfort and luxury so he spoke these words out of his devotion for Ram and also out of desire he knew that Ram would not accept such words but by Ram's refutation the principle of Dharma would also be spoken once again so here we see that intention is theistic is devotional but the expression is atheistic and such can be the encompassing nature of devotion and even atheism can be used in the service of devotion Ram became very grave and he said a man is known by the words that he speaks and especially if a person is known to be learned then that person is expected to speak words that reflect truth and that guide people towards auspiciousness your words if accepted will lead people towards terrible auspiciousness they will doom people so Jabali had spoken that there is no life no future life and things like that Ram systematically point by point refuted all of them and as Jabali heard the refutation he appreciated not only how beautifully Lord Ram was teaching the wisdom but also how Ram was exhibiting beautifulness of a paramount degree and thus when we talk about Yukta Vairagya through all these examples the point that he illustrated is that Yukta Vairagya means anything can be used in devotional service so through these examples in the Ramayana we see how even defiance can be used in devotional service this of course does not mean that we become randomly and arbitrarily and frequently defiant to our authorities but that we recognise the inclusiveness of bhakti and how the relationship within bhakti are dynamic it is not just that somebody orders and everyone else follows yes we do follow the law but there is reciprocation there is discussion there is even fierce discussion bordering on argumentation and all that intensifies the flavour of devotion so defiance is also an emotion that adds to the flavour of devotion such as the inclusiveness of bhakti.